Being Lucky

Hi Readers,

Another bit of time in between posts, mainly because it is still painful to type. Anyway, not complaining so I'll press on, but it may be shorter than usual. Let's see.

I was watching a doco last week on an ex Rugby player, Paul 'Fatty' Vautin. Not being a rugby follower I probably recognise him more for his tv career rather than his rugby career, which I became more aware of after watching this show.

For those unaware of him, he plays the clown a fair bit on tv, but do not let this mask how clever he really is. Many of his contemporaries made the comment that they could see how he found his niche and made it his own, leading to a long and successful tv career post rugby. It takes a smart person to be able to do this so well.

One of the things that he said was that he has just been so lucky with all the opportunities and life experiences that have come his way, even the ones that were terrible as they helped to make him who he is. Many experiences were just being in the right place at the right time, while others occurred just because he might have decided to have a crack at something at the last minute.

From just having a tryout at rugby in his teens for a bit of fun, he ended up becoming a club Premiership winning captain and State of Origin winning coach for Queensland. This he achieved with what was seen as a mediocre team, yet he instilled such self belief that they went on to to win the series against their bitter rivals NSW 3-0.

So this really struck a chord with me. When have we felt lucky? I'm not talking about winning $12.15 on Lotto ( about the most I've ever won!!), but the times when events have happened in our lives that have made us better people.

Of course I can imagine many of you thinking right now about all those happy occasions that you are just so grateful for, and I applaud you for these.

But where it really got me was when I recalled all of those less than savoury moments where the outcome actually lead to some positive self growth.

I know that this sounds like I'm going to descend into a post all about pessimism, far from it. What I'm trying to put forward is that when we are confronted with situations that we'd rather avoid there can still be some good to come out of them.

I'll start with something light hearted.

Recently I have been house bound after a shoulder operation as I wasn't able to drive for 6 weeks. (I actually started driving after 5 weeks!!). I was going off my nuts at home trying to keep occupied with reading, jigsaws ( more about that later!) music, sort of gardening and lots of walks. Bored to death!!!

I was determined not to sit and watch tv, but when I walked on the treadmill out in the shed I was always looking for something to watch on the tv out there. As a result I was running out of good stuff to watch, despite all the recommendations I was being given.

I then started to watch YouTube clips, and now that's what I watch more than usual tv.

I stumbled across this one show called 'Dashcam Australia', or something like that. Basically it's just dashcam footage of bad driving.

Now we all think we are the safest drivers, but what I have seen on this show totally shocked me as I just couldn't believe some of the things I was seeing. Plus I also have a dashcam in my car and have actually needed to go and check footage a number of times.

Now when I get in my car to drive I am even more vigilant and careful purely because I have become more aware of the number of muppets out there on the roads. I just hope I don't become one!! How lucky have I been to get a wake up call to be a safer driver, and in the end you are safer too because I'm looking out for you!!!!

Another tv related thing I've fallen into is just turning the tv on and playing YouTube music clips of my favourite songs and having it going in the background while I'm farting around the house doing things. We all know that 'the algorithm' soon picks up on what we are viewing, so now my playlist is expanding and now there are lots of new songs entering my playlist that I haven't heard for ages, and probably wouldn't have searched for them anyway as they had slipped out of my mind.

I've had to apologise to recent visitors when they have had to put up with my playlist!!

I'm really lucky to be able to rediscover old favourites as they always take me back to a time or place that has particular significance for me.

Unfortunately, last Friday I attended the funeral of a person who I was friendly with when we lived in Ballarat 27 years ago. He was only a year older than me, but when I heard about his death my immediate reaction was how lucky I was to have known him in the first place.

I had swapped footy clubs and when I joined the club he was at he just made me feel so welcome. As did his entire family. I mentioned to some of his family that we often forget things that people have done to us, but we don't forget how they made us feel. I mentioned this in my most recent post too, so it's something that really resonates with me. I just won't forget how this person always made me feel, and after seeing the hundreds at his funeral I can honestly say that they all shared the same sentiments.

There was something written on the handbook at his funeral that is too beautiful not to share. He came from a large family, just as I do and I can relate to all that it says.

This came at a good time, as recently my remaining siblings all gathered at our house together for the first time since we buried our brother Tony just over a year ago.

We had been talking that the only times we had all been together recently were for the funerals of our eldest brother Moose, then our sister Anne, and now Tony. Also in there was Jen's funeral. So we decided to have a weekend together that didn't involve a funeral and was just for the joy of being together for no other reason than being siblings.

This paragraph from the funeral last week summed up everything, especially the part where it says that despite any bickering or problems from time to time, that bond never breaks.

So, from starting out as one of 8 siblings, there are now 5 of us left and we are all aware that gradually over time there will be further gaps in the photo, which is why we have committed to doing this more often.  How lucky.

I also mentioned in a previous post how my last year of Boarding School mates had a 45 year reunion recently that I organised. Who would have thought that the strong bonds we formed as 14-18 year olds would still be so strong so many years later. In just the past few days I have been sharing communications with a few of them as we are still committed to maintaining contact. One in particular achieved some amazing success with a business venture last week and the genuine pride and congratulations shared with him by so many is testament to how much this group looks out for each other in the most genuine way.

I never under estimate how lucky I am to have been, and still are associated with these boys. And girl!

I'll go back to the funeral of last Friday if I may. As I said, there were hundreds there and it was so crowded heading into the Ballarat Cathedral. I could see the family to my left about 15 or so metres away and they were occupied with many of the other mourners, so I just proceeded towards the doors. Imagine my surprise when one of them who I was closer to came through the crowd to greet me. We hadn't seen each other for 27 years, but all it took was the look in his eyes to know how much he appreciated my presence. He was pretty choked up because of what his family was going through, understandably, and we didn't need to say much at all to each other. Just a handshake and a hug meant so much. I started towards the door again and then I hear someone call out my name. It was one of his sisters who I also knew well. Once again, no words, as none were needed. Just a warm embrace. It was in the car going home while I was reflecting on the day that I really began to appreciate more some of the people who I have met in my life, and the experience with this family exemplifies that. They are first class people.

A similar experience occurred a few weeks ago with another friend, whose mother had died. We have always been super close, but haven't actually caught up for over 20 years due to distance and other things. At the funeral he was doing everything to get around to all the people who were there to support him and his family. He saw me in the distance and came straight over, and once again the look in his eyes meant that nothing needed to be said, as he was pretty choked up, as I would have been too. The hug and embrace was all that was needed and said more than any words could have. Sometimes when we dither around trying to say something we can just stuff it up. Which is why I like writing as I can think more carefully about what to say.

These two blokes at each funeral have been some of the closest friends I have had at different times, it was just a shame that we have caught up again lately at such unfortunate times. But I consider myself so lucky that I have been able to have them in my life.

I mentioned at the start that it is easy to remember the great times and consider ourselves lucky, and I'm not for a moment dismissing or trivialising them. However, for me it has been some of the less than fortunate moments that have reminded me how lucky I have been. I don't consider losing Jen as lucky in any way at all. But how lucky was I that I was able to be with her for the time that we had together. I'm lucky that I can go and sit in my chair with her as the cemetery is just up the road and just remember everything that we did together. With the weather improving at the moment it is one of the most peaceful places I can go to and just sitting there with my headphones on playing our songs reminds me how lucky I have been.

As you know I have been under the knife a bit over the past few years, and I've had people tell me how unlucky I am.

I'd say the opposite!!

So many people do not have the opportunity to get these things done for various reasons, whereas I am in the fortunate position to have things fixed relatively quickly. There are poor souls waiting years for surgery, or people battling intolerable diseases. My only problem is having sore hands, shoulders and ankles!! I'm only sore, and relatively healthy. By getting them 'fixed' I am hopefully getting myself in a position to eventually getting away in my caravan, something I still can't do due to needing two arms that actually work to hook it up!!! But when one looks at it, I'm pretty lucky for sure.

Before I forget, I said I'd elaborate on the jigsaw that I'm doing. It's a 1 000 piece job and I bought it because I have been fortunate to have travelled to all but one of the places on it. I'm determined to visit that last place next year if possible. I have it set up on our dining room table, and every now and then I'll dabble with it for ten minutes or so.

Until yesterday.

I sort of sat down to do it, but even that is hard as I still can't stretch my arm properly. I told myself "One hour tops", as I get too sore. Who gets sore doing a jigsaw other than me????

Anyway, two and a half hours later I was still at it, determined to get it to the stage in the photo. And aren't I suffering from it today 😫 Now I'm off to finish it tonight.

As for the one place I'm yet to visit, feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of this post!!

So Readers, this post has made me really reflect on how lucky I've been over the years with work, family, relationships, travel, sport, health and everything else that has made me so appreciative of all that I have experienced. Not all has been fun or enjoyable, but combined with everything else it has made me realise that sometimes we just have to soldier through the hard times in order to appreciate the good times a lot more.

Rather than just seeing them as memories of a time gone by, I now see them in true technicolour as I see how they have impacted me.

I'm sure by now your mind is drifting through the various things that have occurred in your own lives, and like me, I hope that you can appreciate them for what they have taught you.

Well Readers, an enjoyable few hours on the verandah writing this and having my favourite music pumping away beside me. It has been a good day.

Hopefully soon...

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Rear View Mirrors

Hi Readers, 

As I warned in my previous post, there was a real possibility that future posts would easily be prompted by things that catch my attention from watching Ted Lasso. If you are one of those who haven"t watched an episode and are sick of people like me encouraging you to watch it, then I'm sorry, but I'm sure you'd still like it!!!

Even so, there are so many messages and ideas prompted by it and one doesn't need to watch the show in order to be touched by some of the sayings, slogans or quotes that are becoming very visible as a result.

Which brings me to the point of this post. Without giving anything away that would spoil the show for those still to watch it, this is the quote that really slapped me in the face this week. There was no big build up, it was just quickly said in a discussion between the characters Ted and Rebecca, the owner of the soccer team.

They were having a discussion about relationships and Rebecca was experiencing significant self doubt when Ted just says "That's why rear view mirrors are smaller than windshields", followed by a very reassuring glance back at Rebecca.

BANG!!! This just hit me between the eyeballs, and I wouldn't be surprised readers if you are wondering if I still have all my faculties if a quote like this should have such an impact on me. Still, different things affect people in many ways, or not at all, it all depends on the timing or the current mindset of each person. This quote clearly touched something in me at the time that made it resonate and mess with me for the rest of the next few days. For some of you it might not strike any chords whatsoever, and that is totally fine, I have no qualms with that. There may be quotes that you have heard that have impacted you, but I wouldn't give a second consideration at all. No one is wrong, it's just who we are.

Regardless, I'll bang on and hope that I haven't lost you already!

The message that I took from this quote is that the rear view mirror is all for seeing what is behind us, and in life they are all the things that have happened and cannot be changed. The windshield is what lies ahead of us and is so much bigger as there is so much opportunity and potential facing us if we are open to searching for it. And we can't always see all that is ahead of us, but we can see what is coming up soon.

When one relates this to real life, we can choose to focus on the things that have live in our past and not try and focus on what could be ahead of us. This could be because the past is concrete whereas the future is very abstract, and involves risk.

Speaking from experience, for the past few years I've been living with an extremely large rear view mirror as things happened that have changed me dramatically. Things that I just can't get out of my head. In my last post I suggested that this can be seen as the 'rain' in our lives and that by looking forward we can still try to achieve 'rainbows'. I'm not suggesting we ignore the past, but for our own wellbeing we still need to search for better times in the future. It sounds a lot easier to do as there are days when I just can't move forward. That's why the windshield is bigger, as there is so much opportunity if we are prepared to search for it, which is what I have recently been able to start doing.

Just recently, after my latest bout of surgery, I have had just on 5 weeks of inactivity as I can't drive or use my arm out of the sling. Lots of time to think, too much time to think at times too!! But this week I came to the conclusion after watching the latest episode of Ted Lasso and hearing this quote that pretty soon I can do absolutely anything that I want!

I know I have been booked for a week of work in a few weeks, but after that I'm pulling the plug completely. No more work, just time to explore this retirement thing and start doing it properly. The past two years have been interrupted by lengthy recoveries from operations, but as I have only one more to go the world really is my oyster now.

This time last week I was just thinking about where I could go in my caravan once I can start travelling again, but over the past few days I've actually started planning the actual places I want to go to, how many days at each place etc. So far I'm got my trip as far as Cairns and deciding whether to drive back the same way, a different way, or just keep going in a totally random direction!! I might end up in Perth for all I know, and that's the beauty of having a windshield mentality rather than a rear view mirror mentality.

On a lesser scale of unplanned travel, a few months ago before my shoulder op I woke up and decided that I just needed to go somewhere. So I got in the car and as I pulled out of the driveway I flipped a coin. Tails was north of Bendigo, heads was to go south.

I flipped tails, so headed north and within an hour I found myself in Echuca. I had a great time just wandering the streets and riverbank which took me back to my childhood as we would often have family Sunday car trips to Echuca.

It was the total randomness of the day that made it so special, and I have done it a few times since. A spur of the moment decision to go to the Colbinabbin Hotel for lunch one day was memorable as it was where I grew up, but I still can't get over that uneasy feeling of dining alone, which is why I rarely if ever do it. Watch the latest episode of Ted Lasso and you'll see what I mean.

So what other 'windshield' experiences potentially lay before me? What can I really look forward to?

The most obvious one is watching our two Grandsons, Henry and Angus grow up. They recently stayed with me for a few days and it is just so special that their parents do absolutely everything they can to enable their sons to develop such close relationships with their grandparents. A very touching moment occurred last week when two and a half year old Angus was intently looking at an old family photo of me, Jen and the three boys and he was asking about everyone and naming them all, in particular Jen. Then Henry came over and joined in and was telling him more about Jen. That was just so beautiful to witness.

Looking for turtles at the lake.

Going out to Pop's caravan to watch something on the tv, they just love it!

Not only does watching Henry and Angus grow up excite me, the same applies with our three sons, Sam, Will and Lachie. Just as I watch our grandsons start to forge on with their lives, the same applies with our sons. Each has achieved so much in their childhood and teenage years, and now in their adult years the same applies. I could bask in the memories of watching them growing up, but now I just want to see what is next in their lives. They have moved into different fields of work and have done so well in all that they have done. Now that one lives an hour away on a farm, one lives down on the coast and another lives in Dubai, I definitely have my travel sorted for the time being!! While I do have a sort of idea what their futures may look like, nothing can change this quicker than something unexpected happening, which we did experience. However, every day I just keep wishing for a future that is full of hope for each of them.

Something that I have already alluded to in this post, I am hopefully becoming more mobile in the coming weeks and with that comes the possibility of doing anything that I want, and going wherever I want. I might have to do some more flipping of the coin when I hook up the caravan!! I'm not joking there, I honestly don't mind just heading off and not knowing where I might end up or when I'll get back.

Something that might prompt me to really explore places a lot more occurred last week. A friend who passed away recently advised me to not not put things off and really take on anything I might be considering as we just don't know what is around the corner for us. Another friend who is travelling often posts great aerial shots of his travels, so I bit the bullet and went and bought a drone.

Another reason for this is that I rarely get photos or footage of myself on my travels as it means I have to pester others to take a photo for me. Now I can get the drone to do some of this, to some extent.

So this week I have been down to the nearby football oval learning how to use it and feel really optimistic about how I'll be able to use it on my travels. It will also influence where I go to also due to the possibility of getting some great footage.

All I have to worry about now is making sure I don't crash it or inadvertently do something illegal!!! And doing it properly once I get rid of the sling too!!

This next bit sounds a tad self indulgent, but as you know by now, do you think I'm going to let it worry me?

Recently I was looking through some files in the shed and I found a number of letters written to me back in the day by our mum. She was a prolific letter writer and we would all get letters constantly. How grateful am I now that I have kept them!! We would always bag her about the standard of her handwriting, but looking at it now it is totally fine, and she should be proud of it. What struck me most was the humour in her letters, just priceless. So, in a way, this blog is something that I'm leaving for our boys, so that long after I'm gone they can hopefully look back over it, possibly share it with their boys and have it as a sort of keepsake just like the letters I found in the shed recently. This is another reason why I keep writing these posts as I keep them in mind as each post is a potential memory of me for them. I know others read it, but more importantly it lets them know things about me that may have otherwise been forgotten over time.

Something else occurred this week that has put a spring in my step, literally.

I have a treadmill out in the shed alongside my bikes that are set up on rollers where I watch tv while I work out. The treadmill hasn't been used a lot over the past 2-3 years due to the surgeries I've had on both ankles and a knee. But now that they are nearly recovered I can now use the treadmill, as I can't use my bikes at the moment. If I couldn't do any exercise I'd be going off my nut even more than I am at the moment!!

A few days ago I noticed my runners were wearing out and as I haven't needed to buy new ones for a while I realised the day had come to go and do it. 

Boy was I excited, because this was telling me that I was getting better!!!

So off I went to the shops yesterday, and settled on two different pairs. I was umming and aahing over which pair to get and just couldn't decide, and you can guess what happened next?

Yep.

I bought both pairs!!

This made me even more determined to really get fit again, so when I got home I made sure to have a good hitout on the treadmill. I covered the display so that I couldn't see the timer and just went for it at a good speed and incline level, watching a selection of really good and really trashy shows on the tv. When my body was telling me "Okay Cowboy, time for a break" I took the towel off the display and saw that I'd completed 130 minutes!! Talk about feeling motivated!! And that was on top of a 60 minute session that I do early every morning.

So I've done my morning session today, and as soon as I finish this post I'm off to do another big session and watch the football that is on later.

Readers, I could look back in my rear vision mirror and feel sorry for myself for how much recovery time I've needed, but have decided to look out the front window and look towards the better times that are ahead. And in some ways, whenever I'm looking backwards I hear Jen telling me to look the other way and go forwards.

And when I get tempted to  feel sorry for myself for whatever reason, this picture always makes me laugh and put things in perspective. Turn around and look forwards!!!

Well Readers, this post is sort of related to my previous one, in that it has a focus on looking positively towards the future rather than dwelling negatively on the past. I would never suggest that we are forgetting the past, as I still have the guilt of being able to go on with things when others have had that opportunity taken from them.

But by seeing the future as a big windshield overflowing with potential and possibilities surely gives us a reason to bounce out of bed each morning?

I hope that your rear view mirror doesn't hold you back and that your windshield is free from cracks and is clear!!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Rain and Rainbows

Hi Readers,

Like most of the world I was saddened last week to hear of the death of Dolly Parton. I wouldn't classify myself as one of her fans or devotees, but I liked most of what she put out. And like most of you I presume, I learnt so much about her in the following days that just amazed me and showed a side of her that I just never knew. She certainly has left a lasting legacy.

While out walking to the bus stop a few days ago (my transport these days!) I heard her talking in an interview and she said something that really struck a chord with me, hence the title of this post.

She was talking about her tough upbringing, and I don't mean emotionally tough, it was just that she was one of twelve kids who lived in a two bedroom house that was still full of love despite the difficult conditions. From this she then went on to explain that she was so fortunate to have achieved what she had in life, and that in our lives you just don't get rainbows without the rain.

In other words, we have to take the bad with the good and that sometimes our 'rainbows' only really occur due to the 'rain'.

Warning!!!   Vulnerability Alert!! Do not continue reading if you get annoyed by people being very open and honest about feelings!!

Which got me thinking.

We all have experienced bad times in our lives, or periods of rain. Have we ever stopped to think how that might have changed us for the better? I'm not suggesting that every bad experience will result in something good later on, often it doesn't. But what I'm thinking about is that we often learn something about ourselves during these times that perhaps might just help us to be better in just the smallest of ways. Depending on the seriousness of our 'rain' looking for that elusive rainbow might seem harder than we think, or it might not be obvious for a long period of time.

For example, as I've said in previous posts, I have had a few surgeries of late. It is just coming up to 4 weeks since I had my shoulder reco and boy have I had to search for my rainbows after this little bit of rain.

Being my dominant arm, I just wasn't prepared enough for how much it would affect me. Just the smallest of tasks would not be possible, or hurt like hell to try and do anyway. This recovery has laid me up so much more than any of the ankle, knee, hand and finger surgeries I've had lately. I've been in a sling for 4 weeks and no driving. Two more weeks of this to go. So many little things that I take for granted, like getting dressed, putting on my socks, drying off after a shower, cooking, cutting up my dinner, buttering bread/toast etc. Not complaining at all, just getting so frustrated at not being able to do the simplest of tasks that we otherwise do without thinking. I just have to laugh at it at times!!

Okay, that's a little bit of my rain. 

My Rainbows?

Because I don't like to ask anyone for help with rides etc as I just hate being a burden, I now walk to the bus stop and ride the buses into town and home again if I need to get things. I could do the same to the local supermarket, but as it's only a 25 minute walk I just do it and enjoy listening to music/podcasts/talkback on these walks. There has only been one of these trips that sort of didn't have a rainbow as it was actually pouring rain when I walked down to the supermarket as I had run out of some medication. But now that I think of it, I didn't really mind that I was getting soaked despite the umbrella. Once you're wet you can't really get any wetter right??? 

That was a case of experiencing the actual rain and rainbow, then being able to use it as an analogy.

And while on the topic of walking, something that I swore I would never get into when I was able to run a lot, I now look forward to getting out and about as it is my only form of exercise I can do at the moment. And dropping a few kg's has also added colour to my rainbow!!!

On a more serious and personal note, 4 years ago I didn't just get rain, I got the whole friggin hurricane! This was when Jen got sick and we lost her. I still try and search for rainbows throughout and since this, and I feel incredibly guilty trying to find any sort of positive about it. How can I possibly feel that anything good happened as a result of this???

By the same token, Jen would slap me now if she thought I was wallowing in self pity so I just have to search for anything that I have gained since this all happened and what I have learnt from the ordeal. And as I write this I still feel uneasy about recognising how her legacy helps me to find my way forward. 

Readers, I really struggled to explain myself here, I hope you can sort of understand!!

After writing this last piece I had a major episode of writer's block. I just didn't know what to write. Usually the words come freely, but I'm struggling somewhat with this post today. 

In previous posts  I have spoken about how hard it can be to express one's vulnerability, but at the same time it can be incredibly liberating, so I'll push on.

No sooner did I close the laptop and I get a message from a dear friend who asked if a visit was on the cards? For sure, I've been doing diddly squat here for nearly 4 weeks as I can't drive anywhere, so a visit would be great. Well this very quickly became a rainbow, as I was able to express the feelings I was having trying to write this post, and how I was experiencing guilt at trying to find the smallest of positives in it. This friend did just the best thing. Listened. There may have been some advice, but I honestly can't recall it, there was just intent listening as I was able to get some things off my chest.

Would I have been so open in previous years? Absolutely not. Since Jen's ordeal I have learnt that it is okay to express your feelings openly and try not to bottle them up. I've only been able or prepared to slightly open this bottle as I still have things that I witnessed and experienced that I can't bring myself to share. For the time being.

But to have someone really listen, and not judge or try and come up with a solution this morning was a massive rainbow for me. 

Then as if the morning could not have been any better, I get a phone call from an ex colleague who I worked with until just 2-3 years ago. He wanted to come around for a visit and bring another ex colleague who also recently left the school to take up a promotion elsewhere. Both are the absolute real deal when it comes to living and breathing the RUOK principle and supporting and promoting men's health. What stands out also is that they are probably half my age, and not only do they reach out to me, I love what they bring to the equation too.

When I first went back to work after losing Jen, these two just had that instinct to know when to drop by for a chat or just check in with me. We might only talk about superficial things like footy or sport, but I really could see that they were checking in to ensure that I was travelling okay. I'll never forget how much that meant to me at the time. In the past I would have dismissed all of this, but in the past 4 years I have learnt to value these experiences and to see them for what they are, people looking after other people. It also reinforced the importance of accepting one's vulnerability.

Sorry for banging on about that again, but if there is a massive rainbow since the loss of Jen, that would be it. It allows me to express my feelings without ridicule, and if someone wants to have a crack at me about it, bring it on as I don't actually care!!

So this morning I went from total writer's block as I just couldn't get out the words to explain what I was trying to say, to having visits from some people who have been just amazing in helping me to find my way again. As soon as they left I just couldn't get back on the keyboard fast enough. Whether I have been successful in expressing this clearly enough is up to you to decide!

If there is one thing that I've learnt over the past 4 years it has been to appreciate people a lot more rather than appreciate what they do. To explain this, I found that often I'd only thank people for what they might have done for me, whereas nowadays I tend to appreciate them for who they are and not just what they get done. I'd often say things like "Thanks, I appreciate that" but now it is "Thanks, I appreciate you". It took a while to get used to saying this as often I'd get strange looks and have to explain myself, but usually I'd only have to do this once as they'd understand it straight away.

Go and try it Readers and see what response you get!!

Readers, I was going to apologise for writing about some rather personal feelings today, but then I just thought "You want to write it, they don't have to like it", so if you are still with me, then I appreciate you!!

Additionally, I just hope that I've prompted some thoughts within you about some of your own Rain and Rainbow moments. I'd hate for you to dredge up memories you'd rather avoid, but like me, have they in some way helped you to become better in just some small way? And I'm sure that in some way it is okay to identify these despite any feelings of guilt you may experience.

Let's lighten the mood a bit.

Any Ted Lasso fans out there?

Each Wednesday I must check 10-15 times to see if the latest episode has dropped, I'm a total Ted Lasso nutcase!!! Yes it is funny, also sad, but this is one of two shows that has had the most impact on me that I can remember. The other is the Ricky Gervais series "After Life". If you have watched this you'll understand why this resonates with me so much. Two series that I could watch and then start from episode 1 all over again.

Anyway, this latest series of Ted Lasso is just as good as the others and what strikes me is that it is not necessarily a show about a soccer team, it is about relationships and understanding the frailties of ourselves and others and how to treat others.

Powerful messages constantly.

I could bang on in each post about a Ted Lasso message (Hey, that's an idea!!) but I'll spare you with just one that I got this morning.

In the opening credits it shows Ted sitting in a sea of blue seats, and his is red. Just one red seat.

     

Then a few more seats turn red

Then by the end of the credits we see that gradually a lot more seats turn red. Not instantly, just gradually, emanating out from where Ted is.

And we end up with the red seats spelling out his name.

As I said earlier, it's not a show about a soccer team, it's more than that. This opening scene is all about the change that Ted is able to enact, and that change can be incredibly difficult at times. Change has to start somewhere, and in this case it starts from Ted, one piece at a time, and not every chair will change or respond to it. 

So what does this have to do with Rain and Rainbows?

Sometimes in order to implement change you may need to change yourself too. Experiencing your own rainbows could be some of these changes. I know that the teacher I was in 2021 is not the teacher I finished up as in 2024. Things happened that totally changed how I saw things, and things that might have really bugged me in 2021 were irrelevant when I came back to teaching a year later. In my mind I began to see more clearly what I felt was more important, I felt I became more patient with the kids and as a result my last two years were probably the most enjoyable years of my whole career. But by then I knew I was cooked too. Without really knowing it, as I look back I think that I was like Ted sitting in the stands, trying to implement changes with the kids gradually and not getting fussed if some weren't coming along for the ride. Everything was above board of course, it was just in the way that I was hoping that they could treat each other and think about themselves more positively.

Well Readers, I did warn you at the start that there was going to be a bit of honesty about this post, so I hope that I haven't put you off continuing to follow me. As always, feel free to leave a comment in the 'Comment' tab below, you can be anonymous and I love any feedback.

I hope your week doesn't have too much 'rain', and that you take the time to sit back and acknowledge your own 'rainbows'. I'm sure you'll feel a little better about yourself.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁. 🌧️ 🌈

 1000 Days or 1 Week?

Hi Readers,

A very bleak day here so what better thing to do than bang out a post?

Added to this, I've been pretty much housebound for the past fortnight after my shoulder operation. Originally I thought that I'd only be in a sling for a week at the most, but as things turned out I needed a few more things fixed than anticipated and had a reco, so now I'm in a sling for 6 weeks and no driving for 6 weeks. Hence, I'm very much stuck at home for a while. Last week I managed to strap it up tightly and got out for a few walks, and this week I've worked out how to do a session walking on the treadmill, so at least I can still feed my exercise addiction!! The past two days I even managed to work out the local bus system and took myself into town to check out a few things. In 26 years of living in Bendigo this has been the first time I've ridden the buses, save for a trip last year when I caught the bus into hospital for a previous operation that I was getting done.

One thing that really struck me yesterday was the complete disrespect some other travellers have for the bus- feet on the seats, leaving food wrappings on the floor etc. It took all of my patience to not have a crack at them!!!

Also, earlier this week it was my birthday, a day that I generally don't pay much attention to anymore, but others do. I don't seek this attention, but I do appreciate the best wishes offered. I was not planning to do much at all, save for maybe ordering in something nice for dinner, but two very close friends told me they were bringing some pizza and drinks around for a catch up, so that was a great way to end the day.

Nat and Nev even supplied the Birthday Cake!!

Anyway, enough of that self indulgence and now to the point of this post.

Once again it has been inspired by something I read last week that has been nagging at me since. 

I don't know if you are like me sometimes and you find it hard to remember what you had for dinner last night or what you just did an hour ago.

But for some reason you can remember with great detail things that you did 1000 days ago, or even longer!!

This really got me thinking, and I think that the reason I can remember things I did so long ago are because of the way that they impacted on me at the time, or further down the track.

Have I touched a chord with you?

I taught for 38 years, and sometimes I really have to stop and think about where I was teaching in certain years, but at the same time I can recall with acute clarity different things that happened at different times. What year they occurred is irrelevant, but what actually happened is something that hasn't faded with time.

For example, an incident that I'm sure I've shared a number of times. 

I was teaching a junior class may years ago and we were making ice cream as part of a maths lesson. This young girl in the class came up to me all excited and says "Mr K, the numbers all make sense to me now!!"

That was the one moment that completely changed the focus of my teaching career and taught me the importance of trying to make learning meaningful, relevant and enjoyable, a mantra that I carried with me right up until my retirement nearly two years ago, and even now as I continue to do relief teaching. It forged my passion for the teaching and learning of maths, but I must admit that some of the changes recently adopted in the way the curriculum is delivered would not allow me to teach in the way that I always had, so maybe I would not have lasted much longer anyway. I'm not having a crack at this new process, it just doesn't align with what I believe in, and that's okay! 

During my teens, 20's and 30's I played a lot of football, at different clubs and in different towns and cities. Some seasons have been totally forgettable, and even with some of my most successful seasons there may only be a few really significant moments that remain crystal clear.

I remember over a period of 2-3 years I had this regular opponent who played for Hepburn while I was playing for Buninyong. Both teams were pretty much top of the table in that time and each time we played each other there was usually a fair bit of bad blood. Hepburn did have a bit of a reputation for playing it rough, so maybe we took them on a bit, who knows?

Anyway, this bloke, and I'll only use his first name Bevan, always seemed to relish trying to get under my skin. I can still vividly remember his face, but the one thing that sticks in my mind was that he always played with his socks pulled up really high and his shorts looked like they had been painted on. In one game in particular, even before the ball was bounced he started pushing and shoving as was common, but next minute he has me in a massive headlock. I hadn't even acknowledged him or said anything to him, but he was ready to hurt me as soon as he could. As he was a lot bigger than me I knew I couldn't beat him physically, so I decided to mess with his mind.

When the ball was away from us I'd be saying things to him like "Hey Bevan, how come you're wearing little boys shorts, did you leave the adult ones at home?" Or "Bev, are you playing in the Little League at half time because I can see you're wearing the Little League uniform". This really got to him, as soon he was pushing his socks down, albeit only a little bit at the time. And he kept pulling at his shorts, as if trying to stretch them and make them look a little bigger. I also told a few team mates to give him some lip about his tight shorts and socks, and that tucking in his jumper made him look like a doll, and this  really messed with him. I think we lost that game, but at the end as we were walking off, instead of shaking hands he just hissed at me something like "Next time you are going to wish you'd never lived!!" 

I can't recall what the next game was like , but I remember this game for how successfully I got into his head and resulted in him playing really badly. I still don't know how I played, but I clearly remember how much I upset him!! 

That was about 38 years ago, but I remember it like it was last week.

Back in the day I would run and run and run. I was totally hooked on it and loved it so much, which is probably why I just miss it so much. So over more than 40 years of training and competing, and just doing it for fun I can barely remember much about each session. That would be impossible I know.

But specific moments stand out for different reasons. The dates I am unsure of, but I can only guess roughly when these things occurred as they involved one of the boys, or a specific place.

For example, long before they became trendy, I had a 3 wheeler running pram when we lived in Ballarat back in the 90's. Before I had this I had an old pram frame with a plastic seat from an old school chair screwed into place. I'd take the boys for long runs in this pram, they loved it, I loved it and it also gave Jen an hour or so of peace  by having me and one of the boys out of the house. Usually the boys either slept or just looked around, and just had the occasional bit of babble. But on one run in particular, for no reason, Sam would just not shut up!!! It was question after question, and as I was getting fatigued and trying to talk and run at the same time, he comes up with this gem..."Dad, why are you puffing so much?" I can still clearly remember where we were when he asked this question, running up a hill in Norman St in Ballarat, and I also remember a black car was in front of us. Why do I remember such detail? Probably because the moment just cracked me up and just stayed with me. I was doing what I loved with someone I loved and these are the moments in life that count. I can barely remember when I last ran, but this moment more than 40 years ago is still indelibly etched in my mind.

This other running experience, among countless others remains with me for a totally different reason. Most experiences stayed with me for the joy they brought me, the lessons learned, the challenges faced or the people I was with. Like most experiences, often what happens becomes blurred over time, but how it made us feel stays with us forever.

This time I was running through a thick bush setting, and I can't remember if it was in Bendigo or Ballarat. I was on a thin bush track, still wide enough for cars to access, but I was quite a few km's from any nearby houses. As I was running along, for some reason something made me stop and take into account of my surroundings. To this day I still don't know why I did this, and even now as I recall this moment I'm getting tense thinking about it. I stopped and just looked carefully around me, and suddenly I see a man standing under a tree to my left about 50 metres away. There was nothing else near him, no car or anything.    

This really startled me, so I gave a meek wave to which he didn't respond to. Then he began walking towards me, so I took off as fast as I could. A minute or two later I turned to look behind me and I could see him standing in the middle of the track just staring at me.

I just couldn't understand why he was there in the first place. At least I was using the area to go for a run. His presence really got to me.

 Readers, I was never much of a fast runner, but I can assure you that I got out of there in record time!! And it was a long, long time before I ever went running in that area again

Such a long time ago, but it still feels like last week. Or just now!!!

Just like I loved running, I had to find something else to feed my addiction once the legs gave out, so last year I started kayaking. This was all new to me, but since retiring I was able to find loads of time to teach myself all about it. So many things to master, like what equipment was needed, stroke technique, lake etiquette (wow, did I learn some things there!!) etc.

It wasn't until a few months of doing this until one warm morning I was out on the lake in Bendigo and I felt this amazing sense of contentment. I usually felt good when I was out paddling, but on this day at this moment I just came to the realisation, "How lucky are you?!"

Most days I'd be fussing and farting about whether I had all my gear, would the body hold up, would the old cranky guy chase me again and tell me how I could be doing it better, would I meet my targets etc.

When I took this photo I was really feeling the burn as the lactic acid built up in the shoulders, and instead of moaning about feeling fatigued, I was actually embracing the burn! Is that addiction or what!!!

I realise I don't look very happy in this shot, but in reality I couldn't have been happier!!!!

As I said earlier, there are times when I can't even remember the year that something may have happened. I have to backtrack and try find other things that may have happened at the same time to help give me some sort of chronological bearing. When I hear people relaying stories and they can pinpoint the year immediately I am just dumbfounded.

However, the day that Jen told me that the doctors were thinking that she had Leukaemia will stay with me forever. I can still recall the room at the hospital, the look on her face and the tone of her voice. Even the total emptiness and helplessness as they bundled her into the ambulance to take her to Melbourne immediately, and how I felt walking out of the hospital and wondering "What the F$%K do I do now?"

As you could expect, the next ten months are permanently etched in my mind as that was what my life was consumed by for that time. Various meetings with doctors where her status was very bluntly explained to witnessing her treatment are memories that I am convinced will not fade with time. I've never felt as lonely as I did after some of those meetings as I trudged back to my nearby accommodation. 

I'm sure that we took hundreds of photos on all our overseas travels, but I can still recall everything about this one. It was on a train in Italy. I was trying to catch Jen asleep and she woke just as I took it, spoiling my fun. It was an ongoing joke we had, always trying to catch the other asleep in public. But what made it eternally special is how it captured everything about her.♥️

The following two years back working don't provide me with any memories that I feel will stick with me at all, those two years remain a bit of a blur. 

It seems that the memories that remain with us aren't always great ones, and as much as we'd like to forget so many things the opposite applies.

I hear you saying that we just don't get to pick and choose what things will stay with us, but it reinforces that the things that do stay with us are most likely the moments that shape our lives. 

So what things can you recall from long ago that feel like they happened just last week? 

I hope I'm not prompting less than enjoyable memories, which will probably be inevitable, but perhaps you too might have some similar "Bevan moments!" 

I hope so.

So Readers, while I sit back now smugly recalling how I gave Bevan my best insults about his tight shorts and pat myself on the back for trying to make him feel so embarrassed, on the other side of the coin I keep thinking of the times when I could have, or should have done things differently in order for a better outcome.

While I sit here watching the rain outside, I can't help but thinking that some of my next indelible memories may be just around the corner. I don't think that the few party pies I just demolished will be up there, even though they made me feel temporarily satisfied. Maybe in a few weeks when I can get driving again could be the catalyst for creating more of these memories? 

Time will tell.

I had a brilliant quote that I read yesterday that I was hoping to weave into this post, but I might just use it as the prompt for my next post instead.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁