Autopilot

Hi Readers,

Another extended gap between posts, but isn't that how I always start/ No excuse, and if there was, what's the point?

Since I retired at the end of 2024 I realised that my days for so many years had been so structured and organised, and that I generally would know what I'd most likely be doing at most times of every day. There would be work commitments, family commitments and personal commitments that usually didn't change all that much from day to day and year to year. You could say that I was generally living on autopilot.

Even for most of last year I was still living in 'teaching time' despite the fact that I had retired from teaching. I had my diary still filled in marking the school terms and weeks of each term. That was handy when travelling as I'd avoid school holidays. But it also gave me a bit of a bearing as to what part of the year it was much more than just the calendar dates. It was hard to break the habits of 38 years!!

It was only towards the end of the year that I started to think in terms of calendar dates rather than school dates, and this year I found that I have needed to go and check what school week it is instead of automatically knowing it. For example, at any stage of the year I'd know how many weeks until the next holidays, whereas now I have no clue. I still have the school terms and weeks marked in my diary and calendar only because I have been doing some CRT work and need to know when school is happening, and I can plan my travels and upcoming surgeries around it.

As I begin to question whether or not to continue with CRT work I'm wondering if I'll still need my diary as much, something that I have had within arms reach for more years than I can remember.  I sound like a real luddite here don't I?!!! 

I do use the Google calendar on my phone, but when given the choice between the two my default is to go straight to my little black diary!!! That's my autopilot choice, something I just do without thinking as it is a behaviour that has become so ingrained.

So this has got me thinking about all the other things that we do or say on 'autopilot' without even being aware of it.

This was prompted by something I read in a book the other day.

It related to a story about a baby elephant that had been tied to a pole since it was so young in one of those elephant riding places in Asia. At first it would try to break free, but over time realised the futility of trying to do so. By the time it became an adult and was still being tied to the pole it no longer made attempts to try and break free even though it was clearly strong enough todo so and could snap the rope in an instant. It had learnt not to try!!

This is what I feel we become like with so many things in life. We become just so accustomed to things always happening the same way that we just don't consider trying something else, or trying them differently. When I considered all the things I do I was pretty shocked to see all the other ways they could be done, and in many ways the alternatives were much better!!

Readers, I'm not suggesting that what we usually do is wrong, far from it. But what I'm suggesting is that by tweaking them just a bit from time to time can be humorous, liberating and also life giving in many cases.

Let's start with something that happens so many times each day that we just become blase about it.

You rock up to work, a colleague walks past and says "Hi, how are you today?". 

Our usual reaction is something like "Good thanks, how are you?" and we both move on without really saying much more than that. How many times a day does this happen to you? Do you remember each one of these interactions?

So, why not live on the edge a bit from time to time and reply with something different and unexpected? Stray from your usual 'autopilot' response?

"Great! I finally perfected my coffee from our new machine this morning"

or

"I'm excited about the new lunch I am trying today"

or

"Disappointed that a bird shat on my shirt on the clothesline!"

When we respond with an unexpected reply it could generate a quick discussion with that person that might just perk us both up for the rest of the day. It might result in a laugh, a high five or a sympathetic moan or pat on the shoulder. Who knows?

But pick your targets!! I recall one colleague who, when asked "How are you today?" would then regale us in great detail about her current diarrhoea, or flatulence, or complain about her husband or another staff member. Whenever asked, she would reply with a tale of woe, and it got to the point where we would rarely if ever ask how she was. Even if we have these problems, they are generally not the sort of replies we are searching for when we greet someone. Maybe talk about them in private at a more opportune time, but try not to kill a cheerful greeting!!!

I know from experience what replies I'll generally get from certain people, but the ones who I actively seek out to greet are the ones who do not have an 'autopilot' response and always have something interesting or humorous to say when I greet them.

A bad habit of mine when I'm around the house on my own is my potty mouth!!! (Some might say it's when I'm out of the house too!!)

By this I mean that when something just doesn't go right I tend to drop the 'F-Bomb' quite freely. There is no-one else to hear it, just me, and as soon as I say it I think to myself "Why did you just say that???" It might be my response to the simplest of things, like dropping a spoon, spilling something on the bench, sitting down and then remembering I've left something on the other side of the room etc. They are the most pathetic things, yet I seem to feel they are worthy of receiving an F-Bomb despite the fact that it just won't change a thing. It is a serious autopilot offence of mine.

 I just did it now Readers.

Yesterday I sold a car and just now I got a reply from someone who messaged me 4 days ago about a price for it and they hadn't responded to my reply. They just responded now with an offer that was better than what I sold the car for. Not a great difference, but enough for me to let an F-Bomb rip 🤬 And who heard it? Just me!!!

I'll also be out in the garden and the flies will be bothering me, or I prick myself on the roses and I'll let one slip. Then I just stop and listen and hope the neighbours haven't heard me!

I have to be more aware that I do this as I feel that the day will come when I'll just let one out in public!!!!! 

My 'autopilot' often starts the day, and that's okay. There are just some things that I don't want to change as they set me up for the day. I'm always an early bird and get up super early and do my rehab exercises for the various body parts that have been mended over the past few years. That won't change. 

Lately though I've been thinking that I practically have the same thing for breakfast nearly every day without fail. BORING!!!

So this week I have been mixing it up and actually trying different things. Just as easy to prepare as my usuals, but just different. It's amazing how it has changed my approach to the rest of the day and it encourages me to try other things differently too.

Not big changes, just subtle ones that have had big results.

Usually when I go out for dinner or have a meal at a pub, I always look at the menu with the intention of trying something new, but always go back to the usual safe option that I always choose. This year however I have broken the shackles and actually tried something different each time I have dined out. The first time I switched off the autopilot I was as cagey as anything, but very satisfied afterwards. I was still nervous the next time, but as I do it more often I am enjoying the experiences so much more.

I'm doing a similar thing at home, and instead of just rotating the same meals as I have been doing since becoming single again, I have been going through some of our old recipes that we'd use and exploring new ones. It is quite liberating and instead of cooking being mundane, it tends to be a tad more exciting.

I have so much time on my hands at the moment and it is a very easy trap to fall into not doing much at all some days. I realise that this is not good for me and that I need to find other things to add to my days.

Recently I rediscovered the enjoyment of writing letters by hand, and although the physical act of doing this is quite difficult at the moment due to some ailments I'm having with both hands, I'm loving revisiting the experience. Unfortunately, the reason why I started doing this was to reach out to a friend whose health is ailing and his time with us is decreasing. It would be so much easier to type an email or letter and print and send it, but the actual act of handwriting it makes me feel so much more connected to this friend. The time spent doing the writing gives me more time to think about our friendship and what he must be going through, and provides a more personal touch as he is unable to take visitors, save for his family. Imagine my surprise when a 6 page handwritten letter arrived from him this week. Talk about humbling! I never expected him to do this and he way that he expressed what he was enduring brought tears for sure. If it was typed it would have been just as good, but the fact that he had taken the time to write it really touched me deeply. And it also reinforced to me the importance of allowing yourself to be vulnerable, which he did in spades.

In my past two letters to him, handwritten of course, I used a number of different coloured pens. Why? A few days previously I was having a FaceTime call with one of our Grandsons overseas. He was drawing a picture of me and showing it to me and I commented on all the colours he was using. His response? "Pop, colours are what we are!"

This really got me thinking, which is why i used colours when writing to my friend, as I used colours that matched how I was feeling about what I was writing about. I explained this to my friend and I'm sure he understood.

That's why I now keep a batch of coloured pens on my bench, and when I scribble down notes during the day I try to choose a colour that suits my mood at the time. Later on when I check the notes I often wonder why I chose that colour at that time, and it has been a great way to revisit how I might be feeling throughout the day.

So when visitors come to our house they might now understand why one person needs a cup of 20 pens next to the pad on his kitchen bench!!

My exercise routines are generally becoming limited to indoors lately. I've had to stop kayaking due to the condition of my hands, hopefully the first operation next week will go some way to fixing this. Although I can ride my bike on the roads, I'm still not confident enough with getting my feet out of the cleats quickly enough due to the surgeries on my ankles. So I ride my bike on the rollers in the shed and watch trashy tv. I always watch the same programs mindlessly.

Riding on autopilot. 🥱 But over the past two weeks I have actively looked for newer things to watch in order to stimulate the mind a bit more. And hasn't it worked!!

I'm so much more motivated and as a result my times and efforts have improved markedly. I must admit I'm more knackered as I'm pushing myself harder but I'm enjoying it so much more and actively looking forward to each session. I never knew just how much there is to watch on YouTube and I'm continually finding new content that engages me.

Well Readers, 

I could bang on and on about all the other times when I hit the 'autopilot' button, but that's about as exciting as rubber lips on a woodpecker!!

Have a think about your 'autopilot' moments. How will you respond next time someone greets you? Why not wear odd socks tomorrow? Buy a new spread for your toast? Drive to work a different way? Try a new tv program? Find a word to replace your F-Bomb!!!!!!

I'm heading out now to buy some groceries, and instead of going automatically to the same things in the usual aisles, I'm going to actively look for something new and different just to prove it can be done. I actually made some pasties and slow cooked chow mein earlier this week. Although the pasties resembled something like the plasticene that we used back in the day in primary school, they still tasted magnificent!!

The autopilot is off for as much as I can for the rest of the day, let's see if I stay sane.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 You've got it so good !!

In his song "Pink Houses", John Mellencamp describes a man who has 

"...got an interstate runnin' through his front yard,

You know he thinks he's got it so good".

I heard this song yesterday (actually I might hear it a few times a week as it's in my 'Favourites' playlist on Spotify) and this line just keeps sticking in my head. I even woke up during the night last night and it was playing in my head and I just couldn't figure out why.

So I got up and scribbled down some thoughts that were running through my mind, as I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep unless I addressed it there and then. Yes Readers, that's how I get many of my ideas to write about, and they will keep running through my mind until I do something about them.

The man referred to in the song was probably living in not the most salubrious of conditions, but in his own mind he was doing very well indeed. He was the king of his own castle.

But in the minds and judgements of others he could easily be seen as someone who was definitely down on his luck and living on Struggle St, and in conditions that many of us would do the utmost to avoid. It's all a matter of perception, something that I have repeatedly written about in so many of my posts.

So this got me thinking about the times when I feel I "have got it so good".

Ironically, this all happened in a week where I saw my doctor about some ongoing ailments that I have been getting treatment for over the past two years. Yeah, I hear you, Ho Hum !!

I've been told to keep my arm in a cast and a finger in a splint and to keep wearing them in preparation for some upcoming surgery. Then the same process is to be repeated on the other arm a few weeks later. Let's see how well I follow his instructions. Soon after that is another shoulder op.

No big deal as I'm accustomed to it now, and hoping that these might be the final parts of the 'fix me' jigsaw!! Actually, it's just laughable now as this has been a constant for the past 3 1/2 years. Some are due to age related sports injuries, others were accidents and some just happened without any input from me!!

How ironic that a few days after seeing the surgeon and coming home with my tail between my legs that the current situation in the Middle East erupted. That was the instant perspective pill that snapped me back into reality. Here I was worrying about sore hands, fingers and shoulders, while others on the planet were getting bombed. 

Guilt for sure!!

And what made it worse is the fact that this situation in The Gulf is very personal to me as one of our sons, his wife and our two grandsons moved to Dubai back in January as part of his work. There were so many stories on the news about the situation, but for the first day or two I didn't know exactly how our son and the family were being affected. And while I was worried sick, I just knew that any amount of worrying would achieve nothing as there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Plus I didn't want them to be worrying about me worrying about them.

Eventually I got news that they were fine, and if anything, it was not affecting them much at all save for having to home school their eldest boy who had recently started school. The school had shut down like in Covid, but people were still able to move around the city. Concerned yes, but feeling relatively safe.

Here in Bendigo one could complain that the price of fuel has gone up significantly and is unavailable at some service stations. If that's the worst of it for me at the moment, then I must admit that in comparison to others I'm like the bloke in the song, "I've got it so good".

I don't like it, it's inconvenient, but is it the worst thing ever? 

Before you come running at me with raised pitchforks and accusing me of treating the situation lightly, I'm not. It's very easy to view any negative situation that we are in as the worst thing in the world, but in reality there would be so many others who would willingly swap places if they could.

I think of our son and his family trying to find a way out of a war zone safely and I'm worrying about paying extra for my fuel. That alone slapped me back into reality.

Thankfully they did get out a few days ago to a safer country, but my heart goes out to all of those who haven't been able to get out or may not have the resources to do so.

Added to this is the fact that most of what we hear about is the threat to fuel supplies. I get it, but what about the people who are resigned to the fact that they will have to stay put and sit it out, not knowing if things will escalate or calm down?

People versus fuel.

Once again I'm very conscious that the fuel availability will hurt so many both near and afar, but let's keep in mind that in a war it is mostly innocent people being killed, and having had family too close to it for my liking is why it may appear that I am being flippant about the fuel aspect. I'm not, I just see more serious issues at play.

So Readers, what 'interstates runnin' through your front yards" do you have at the moment?

By this I mean things that others may see as heavy baggage, but in your mind they are things not really worth worrying about as there are much more important things to focus on. I've had people feel a bit sorry for me when they hear about the continuing failure of my body to stay upright or functioning, but it doesn't worry me a bit. I HAVE got it so good as I have great people around me, our boys are healthy and I'm not sick. I get up in the mornings and can put one foot in front of the other (at last!!). There is food in the fridge, clothes in the closet ( a bit outdated I agree!) and money in the bank. I can drive my car to where I want, and the only slight hiccup is that my diesel is dearer and may get a bit harder to get if things get worse.

That's not too much to worry about when I stop and really think about how others are doing.

It also gets me thinking about other times when I have "had it so good"

And this is where I'll just focus on those trivial day to day things that have worked out for me, but leave me feeling like I'm ten feet tall. They will be totally irrelevant and meaningless to you, but when they go well, so do I.

Today for example.

I got up and knew that I had to bottle a barrel of ginger beer that has been bubbling away for the past week. It does become a chore at times, but I approached it with a different mindset, by thinking about how nice they will be when ready in a few weeks. I even changed my usual practice slightly and it was far more efficient, and I actually enjoyed it more than I normally would. Instead of taking around 80-90 mins, I had it pegged in just under an hour. Do you think this set me up for a great day??

This should be pure gold in a few weeks!!

A quick brekky, then out comes the vacuum, mop and bucket. My favourites list on Spotify blaring (sorry neighbours 🫢) and the place is spotless in record time.

So Readers, two chores that are usually a grind but I nailed them really well without a fuss.

I was just starting to rack them up.

As much as I love writing my posts I still feel a sense of tediousness at times as I know that I will have to give the next hour or 2 or 3 to do it right. But once I start time becomes irrelevant. If I could just get started more often!!  Usually I'll see that I have some hours to spare, but I'll go riding or kayaking instead.

As the day is a bit grey here today and rain is threatening ( but probably won't come) it is a perfect writing day, so here I am.

And one thing I can't do is do something without background music, much to the consternation of family, friends and colleagues! I've got YouTube on and after clicking on one song, it is now playing all my favourites. Not needing to skip a song is bliss, and anticipating what will be next is so good. I've just had The Boss blasting out 'Born to Run', and now my current favourite song is on. I stumbled across "Rein Me In" by Sam Fender/Olivia Dean, I think it might get replayed a few times as it just such a banger that has touched a chord with me. The power of great music, I've got it so good!!

Brewing ginger beer, mopping the floors, listening to Spotify, vacuuming the cars, weeding the lawn, YouTube music clips and writing a post. I'll even hop on the bike after this. "Get a life' I hear you saying, but this is what is making me feel good today, so isn't that a life? Tomorrow could be different altogether, so I'll appreciate what is on offer today.

I haven't had the stress of needing to leave a country due to war, and hopefully I never will, so appreciating what I have has made today even more worthwhile. Even the writing of this post has made me appreciate the little things that matter. My little things could be irrelevant to you just as much as yours could possible be to me, but I hope that you can stop and reflect on the things that tell you that you also have "Got it so good".

And finally, I just decided what to cook for dinner tonight. Keeping in mind that I'm focussing on the little things that make me realise I have 'got it so good'.

Sausages in bread. Tomato sauce. That's it and I'm happy.

Yep. I do have it so good.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

p.s. And did you notice that I didn't start with an excuse for not writing this post sooner?

 What's Your Thing ?

Hi Readers,

Another lapse between posts, but I suppose I always open with that statement! I need to come up with something better for sure.

As usual I've been bumbling around trying to mesh a few ideas into the one post, and after being housebound for most of the day with constant rain ( and not complaining about it for a second!!) I managed to get quite a few tasks done that I'd been putting off.

My first year of retirement saw me try a number of things that I was wanting to do and although not all of them worked out, it was not for want of trying.

I'm often asked what things I'm doing, and often my reply is "I still haven't found exactly what I want to do yet".

Which brings me to the focus of this post. "What's your thing?"

I was on the phone last week discussing what plans I might have, and after waffling through some potential ideas my sister just said to me "You just haven't found your thing yet".

Sometimes the answer is so obvious we fail to see it, and it was at this moment that I realised that was what was bugging me. I just hadn't found my 'thing' yet.

Let me explain this by way of an example that my family and friends just laugh about, and rightly so. I laugh about it too!!

Around 18 months ago I bought a caravan, as that was what Jen and I were planning to do in our retirement. I went away in it a few times, then I couldn't use it for quite a few months after leg surgery, so I sold it. Plus it was just a bit big for me.

Fast forward a few months and I got itchy feet again (at least in the parts where there is still some feeling) and I went and bought a much smaller van and brought it home from Melbourne.

I just didn't like the colour scheme but still went ahead and bought it as it was about $6 K less than the one I really wanted. Even when I was driving it home I was having doubts and thought that perhaps I'd rushed into it. Over the next few days I started to realise that the workmanship in it wasn't overly great, and I was doubting how good it actually was. Many things seemed too fragile and I was beginning to think I'd done the wrong thing. After extensive research on the brand, which I should have done beforehand, I found that this company and brand had more than enough bad reviews, and I wanted out.

So next thing you know it's up for sale without ever having been used !!

Once friends heard that I'd bought another van they just laughed at me. Now when they see that I had it up for sale they just laughed even harder.

And all the time it didn't bother me a bit because I could see where they were coming from. 

I think I have nearly reached the conclusion that caravanning might not be 'my thing'.

Perhaps I like the idea of having a caravan, but not so much the realities associated with it. I never liked towing it, and I'm not that keen on caravan parks anyway, so what was I thinking???? Luckily I was able to sell it pretty quickly, even after the price of them dropped even further. 

So what did I do a week or so ago after selling it? I went to the caravan show in Melbourne for a look around, BUT I was definitely not going to buy another one.

Not yet anyway.

Taking the van to the new owner. I won't miss this van, but I still have good memories of the earlier one.

When I retired at the end of 2024 I was convinced that I was done with teaching, as for most of the year I was just wishing that the year would end.

After going overseas for a while, then being laid up with my leg for a few months I was definitely getting cabin fever, which resulted in my short lived second caravan purchase.

I also mentioned to my old school that if they were short of teachers I'd be available for any relief days if they were desperate. I didn't need to do it, I just needed to fill my time as I couldn't get away much as I still couldn't walk properly.

Well, they must have been desperate as I was called in for a number of days leading up to the end of the year.

Rather than feeling totally over teaching as was the case 12 months previously, I was actually excited and looking forward to it. Despite struggling with the new ways of teaching that had since been implemented, I found that I was really enjoying it. It was made easier by the fact that I pretty much knew most of the kids and most of them still remembered me, so they coached me through the new way of teaching that they were doing now.

They were teaching me, but I was getting paid!!

Over the Christmas holidays I ummed and aahed as to whether I'd do CRT work this year, but as I found that I need to be in Bendigo for the next few months due to possible surgeries, I put my hand up again for CRT work if they were short.

Well, I've had quite a few days already and even more coming up and I'm really enjoying it.

Whereas I'd lost my 'zing' quite a lot in my last year of teaching, I've discovered that there is still something left in the tank.

Readers, please don't think I'm going to go back teaching full time, far from it. I've just realised that I still have the teaching itch, that it is still part of my 'thing'. I guess that after 38 years it is hard to give something away so abruptly, so this gradual easing away seems to suit me better.

Ask me again this Friday after I complete this week!!

While I enjoy going in for these occasional days, I do enjoy my days where I am just my retired self. The social connection is what really helps too.

We just loved our travel and went on quite a few overseas trips, saw amazing places and did so many great things together. Travel was definitely our 'thing', something that we were planning to do so much more of in our retirement.

Last year when I was overseas the first week was brilliant as I was seeing our son and his family in NYC. It couldn't have been better.

But the next 4 weeks saw me plodding around Europe on my own, and it just didn't have anything near the same level of fun or excitement as any of our previous trips at all.

I was feeling a bit like Linus from the Charlie Brown cartoons from the 70's, just moping around the place.

I'd spent years yearning for the day when I could travel overseas, here I was doing it and not really enjoying it at all.  What was wrong with me? This was meant to be one of my 'things'!!

After selling my caravan I was thinking "What do I do next?"

I still have the bug to travel, but was in a quandry as too where to go next.

As soon as I thought of a place to go to, a travel warning would come up. I was thinking of going to Turkey but the Govt has issued a travel warning about going here. Then I thought about Greece and Croatia, but thoughts kept flooding my brain that it would be just like last year's overseas trip again. I was picking places just for the sake of picking somewhere.

Our son and his family recently moved to Dubai, so I was definitely going there, even to the point of looking at airfares as recently as last week.

The events of the weekend have definitely put that one on hold, thanks a lot Iran!!!!

As I was leaving London last year it dawned on me that I'd never been to Ireland, and here I was so close to it. It's a place I've always wanted to visit, and why we have missed it on all of our trips is beyond me.

That thought has stayed with me for nearly 12 months, and unlike many places that I think would be nice to visit, Ireland is a place that I actually WANT to visit, especially as our family heritage originates from there. Japan is so popular at the moment, but I won't go there as everyone is going there. Similarly with Vietnam. 

I have nothing against those places, I'm sure they are brilliant, but when I hear that everyone is going to a certain place, that turns me off. Just how my warped mind works!!

Maybe Ireland could be my next 'thing'?

With all this waffle from me about what is your 'thing', it got me thinking about what other things could be my thing. (That's pretty poor grammar isn't it!)

There are a number of things I'm considering, and I guess I won't know if they are for me or not until I try them. For goodness sake, I bought and sold two caravans before coming to a sort of realisation that they weren't possibly my thing.

I can always look, but not touch, like I did at the recent caravan show. That's where I'm at with another thing that I have always been wanting to do for so many years.

And what's that you ask?

I have always loved a particular model Holden car, the EH. It's only a coincidence that it coincides with the year of my birth and I find myself searching a few times a week online for what is available.

Don't ask me why, but I just love everything about them. I know as much about engines etc as I know about molecular biology, so if I bought one it would need to be in really good condition so that I wouldn't have to do anything to it. Another harebrained idea I can imagine you all thinking, but one that I haven't discounted yet. 

YET!!!

I think i'd much prefer cruising around in one of these instead of pulling a caravan.

Since selling the van I am in a much better position to perhaps purchase one, but I am definitely cooling my jets and not rushing in.

At this point I'm convinced that this could be a 'thing', but I've been down that road before!!!

Stay tuned and don't be surprised Readers!!!

And finally, and this is a definite 'thing', I get so much inspiration from some of the music I listen to. Sometimes a song just comes along at the right time and it might just be a line or a chorus that just slaps me in the face and helps me to understand things a bit more, or myself a lot more. Recently I saw online a clip about a Richmond player from the past and the music overlay was a song that immediately caught my attention. I looked it up and found that there was so much in it that I could apply to myself at the moment.

Needless to say it has been on high rotation over the past few days!!!

Well Readers, not much substance to this post, just more of me banging on!

I hope that you have your own 'things' and that you get to explore and experience them.

Like me, you might discover that what you thought was a 'thing' was actually more the opposite! But that's no reason to not pursue them, why die wondering?

And don't be surprised by whatever I might try next 😳

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 It's Routine

Hi Readers,

 Another gap between posts while I have been waiting for that next bit of inspiration. If anything, there has been lots of writing time available as the past week has been horrendous here in terms of weather with many days topping 40 degrees plus. A lot of time inside escaping the heat. A bit of relief today with only 24 degrees before another week of 30 degrees plus which isn't that bad after what we had last week.

Which brings me to the point of this post. Being a creature of habit, I always start each day by getting up early and having some form of exercise, depending on the weather, location or motivation. Last week the extreme heat made me choose more carefully what I did at each part of the day, and although there was a little voice telling me that maybe I could have a break, I just found that I couldn't as these habits are so locked in that they are routines that I find incredibly hard to ignore or alter. Even if I decide to perhaps have a break and try to lay in bed a bit longer, I become too impatient and restless and end up getting up and doing something anyway. This really struck me one morning last week when I tried to skip the early workout, but ended up doing it anyway. Normally I'd be finished by a certain time, but as I'd delayed the start I was now finishing it much later than I'd like, and this did stress me a little. 

Why? Not sure, but I was annoyed that I could have finished earlier so that I could have more of the morning to do some things I had planned. It's not as if I had lots to do, it was just that my normal routine got altered and it got me thinking why this happens. 

In previous posts I have often mentioned the motivation or inspiration that has prompted that post, and isn't it amazing how some things just drop into your lap at the right time?

I'd kayaked in the morning last Friday, starting very early in the dark so as to avoid the heat. Later in the day I jumped on my bike in the shed and rolled the legs for a while, and as I felt good and the heat had abated somewhat, I decided to let the legs recover with a bit of a walk. 

In went the earbuds and the search for a good podcast began, and I settled on one that focussed on the Collingwood AFL player, Scott Pendlebury, an 8 part series. This podcast goes in depth as to what it takes to stay at the top as an elite athlete, detailing his training methods and recovery techniques. I found it utterly brilliant, you'll find it on "The Howie Games"

But the thing that really piqued my interest was when he explained how he would be so obsessed about not altering his approach to various things. For example, in his early days he had a great game after eating a certain meal the night before. This was then locked in for the next few years, something he would rarely if ever deviate from. Other things crept in as well, such as wearing a certain pair of jocks for each game, packing his bag a certain way, getting the precise amount of sleep and only eating certain foods on certain days etc.

I can relate to this so much, and even though I was no AFL player, much the opposite, I too did so many of these things as well. For years I wore the same jocks when playing, and trust me when I say they were a bit worn out by the time I stopped playing. My bag would be packed in a certain way and I'd check it numerous times before leaving, even though I knew everything would be in there. While getting ready for the game I'd do certain stretches at different times and always ensure that I'd get dressed in exactly the same way before each game. Even when discussing this with other team mates they would also confess to having their own routines that they just couldn't sway from.

In one of his episodes where Pendlebury addressed this he was made aware by a sports psychologist that this was actually hindering his preparation rather than helping it. 

Yes, he was still playing at an amazing level, but this fixation with routines that really had no bearing on his playing ability was actually taking his mind away from his core purpose as a player and captain of his team. If in some way he could focus less on these routines, he would be freeing his mind up to focus more on his game.

At first he found this so hard to accept, but subtle changes enabled him to start changing things gradually, rather than all at once. 

For instance, once he started to have kids he learnt to focus more on his family rather than himself. Rather than having the risotto that was his staple every Friday night, if the kids were having pasta, then he'd have pasta too. If he tended to watch a certain program the night before a game but the kids were watching something else, he'd join them too. The lucky jocks got the flick, he became less paranoid about ensuring that his bag was packed correctly and began to trust himself more that everything was okay if he did it differently.

Can you relate to any of this?

I'm not suggesting that you have to be an elite athlete, but just think of the many routines that you have that you may not be entirely aware of until something jumps in and forces you to alter them. How do you respond?

If you are like me you might be thinking that the sky is about to fall, when all that has really happened is you are doing something a bit earlier or later than you usually do. Upon reflection, do you also feel stupid for thinking that way?

And are others so aware of the way that you follow routines that they are careful not to do anything to disrupt them? Do they tiptoe on eggshells so as not to disrupt you?

I'll be the first to plead guilty here !!!! Sorry to all those who I have peed off !!!!

So this weekend I decided to deliberately try and NOT stick to some of my routines and boy did I find it hard this morning.

I had the kayak already packed in the car for a paddle this morning, but when I woke up I was feeling pretty fatigued, but rather than push through it I forced myself to just lay in bed and listen to music instead. It was hard, but I made myself think about how I was feeling about not sticking to this routine. I could still go later today or, shock and horror, have a break for today 😲!!

This has been my home away from home for the past few weeks, some mornings I have the entire lake to myself, so it's always hard to pass up the chance for a paddle.

Yes, I was fidgety and trying my hardest to not get up, but as my body was feeling tired after a big week of exercising last week, I made myself have a rest day. Just the staying in bed until 9.00 made me feel like a sloth, as my routine is to be exercised and brekky done by 8.00 at the absolute latest!

But it hasn't been a complete win as all morning it has been on my mind as to when I'll get out and do something later today. Admittedly the daily bike sessions are now having a noticeable effect as when I walk I can now go longer distances, relatively pain free, no real limp and a great recovery. So maybe that routine has to stay!!!

This got me thinking about what are the things I do that are routines that I just find it hard to deviate from and what things do I do where it doesn't really matter if they change or not. And do they affect others in any way?

I have a few routines on a Saturday that are probably more like habits than routines, and these have changed a bit since I retired. I love listening to a particular radio segment each Saturday and I usually plonk myself in a chair outside for that hour with a book while I listen to it. But yesterday I decided to do something different while I listened to it, and prepared myself earlier in the day for it. I decided to bake!!

Readers, I generally don't bake as I find all the fartarsing about with ingredients so annoying, but yesterday I actually looked through some of the recipes for things I'd been saving and decided to have a crack at them.

Then I started to question myself. Is it still baking if it doesn't involve cooking, as I was making slices?

Anyway, I'd had a solid bike session and was ready to go, so for the next hour I made two things.

1. No Bake Mint Aero Traybake (I'm still perplexed why it is called 'No Bake Traybake')

2. Vanilla Cheesecake Slice

Why did I choose these? They popped up online and looked good so I saved them, plus they looked easy enough for me to make.

It was bit of a mess just doing the cheesecake first!!

But it got done. Didn't look like the picture in the recipe, but it suits me.

Now it was time for the No Bake Aero Traybake

Slowly coming together

And done!! Excuse the laptop as I was closely following the recipe on my screenshots.

One thing that really bugged me was that in the recipe the filling was green, but mine is white. I put in the peppermint essence as instructed, but for the life of me, no green!! It tastes green though!!

I also got adventurous last week and made sausage rolls. I did experiment the week before, and although they tasted nice, they did look a bit industrial.

These ones turned out a bit better, but I really need to pay more attention to the quantity of ingredients as my freezer is chockers with them now. I even made a king size one just to see if it could be done. As for the ingredients, let's just say that a few tins of beans and mixed veges found their way in, so they are sort of a little bit healthy.

I definitely think I'll be visiting our son who lives across town with a few containers of slice later today, otherwise no amount of walking, paddling, cycling or gym will save me from resembling this...

Readers, if you are like me there are probably things you couldn't have cared less about until you did something about them. And that creates new routines for you that you can find it hard to let go of.

For example, in our kitchen there is a large drawer that houses all the plastic containers, tupperware etc. And with that goes the usual problem of the lids never matching any of the containers. You with me? I can see you nodding your heads in agreement.

Well, a few months ago I cracked it when I just couldn't find the right lid when I needed it, so a spur of the moment decision had me spreading out all the containers and all of the lids and matching them up. Then they were stacked back in the drawer in a way so that if you grabbed a container the lid was with it. This had been annoying me for over 3 years, so I did something about it. And I kept to the system.

However, over the past few months I have had lots of visitors, and inevitably they didn't have the same respect for my system as I did, and now it is becoming a bit of 'Container Lotto' when I look for matching pieces. So why do I let something as pithy as this upset me somewhat? After a few years of not great things happening, I now get worried about a few bloody plastic containers!!!!!

This is probably the main reason for this post, in that I have let myself become worried about one or some of my routines being disrupted, when in the big picture of things they are totally non sensical. In some part of my mind they are considered important, when in reality they are pathetic, so I need to see them for what they are.

And what it has made me see is that there are so many other routines I have that are so embedded that I may have a little trouble in beginning to let them go somewhat.

I just suppose everything has to start somewhere.

A similar thing happened in my pantry, I just couldn't find things, and some of the things in there pre-dated all eras of food safety!!!

So now the pantry is organised, and just as I got antsy about the containers getting mixed up again, I hope I won't get the same way with the pantry.

As for the fridge, well anything goes there!!!

As last year was my first year of retirement I sort of had a few plans that took me through most of the year with travel, surgeries and just enjoying not working.

This year is pretty much an open book, I have travel planned but even that has had a big change recently. There looks to be more surgeries (Ho hum🥱) so a lot depends on those and when I'll be able to do things. Plus I've also been booked up for some work which I found I actually enjoyed at the end of last year. I'll just see how it goes for the start of this year and see if I want to continue with it or pull the plug.

So Readers, this waffle has been very relaxing to write as it has made me take stock of the things that I feel MUST be done as opposed to the things that CAN be done. and how I choose to respond to them. I have deliberately made the decision with a few things to do them differently, at another time or not at all and to be more aware of how I will respond to them. In most cases I feel that I have to stick to my routines (eg especially exercise) as it is more for the mind than the body. If I don't do certain things I get uptight or anxious, but I recognise just like Scott Pendlebury did that this causes just more angst. That eventual liberation of not letting these things seem so important is something I'll continue to look forward to.

I hope that you can identify some of those ants of yours that feel like elephants and that you too can begin to let go a little.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁