Success

Hi Readers,

Very rare for me to start a post mid-week, but like a nagging itch I just had to respond to the desire to bang on about something that has really resonated with me this week.

Or should I say, quite a few things have resonated, to the point where I'll attempt to pull them all together under the one heading.

What caught my interest first was when I heard the Collingwood coach, Craig McRae speaking about his team winning the AFL Grand Final this season.

Overseas readers, the AFL is the Australian Football competition, and Collingwood recently were crowned the Premiers (Winners of the competition, Champions etc)

McRae has quickly established a reputation as a calm, personable and engaging coach who lifted his team from near the bottom of the competition to Premiers in just two years. Even supporters from other teams find it hard to dislike him, amazing considering that his team is often derided by opposition fans!

The interviewer said something to him along the lines "It must have been so satisfying to finally be successful by winning the Grand Final recently?"

McRae paused for a while and said that winning the Grand Final wasn't his measure of success, although it was a major goal.

Where he felt and saw success was from watching the development of a list of up to 42 players over two years who worked together collectively to eventually create a team of 22 who would ultimately win the game that everyone strives to win.

He viewed success as a journey shared by a whole club over time, not just by 22 players in one game.

Many would argue against this and contradict him too, but he had managed to create a culture within a club and a style of play that saw his team dominate the past two seasons.

He said that he couldn't have won the Grand Final without doing everything that preceded that day in the previous two years with more than just the 22 players who played on the day. So yes, they were successful on that final day, but he saw his, and the club's true measure of success as how they transformed together from a mediocre team to a team that took all before them. 

He also said that success meant getting players playing beyond what they thought they were capable of, turning average players into players who were always picked, and also reigning in some who tended to get into a bit of strife on and off the ground. Australian readers will know who I'm talking about here !!

But, as a Richmond supporter, I take my hat off to the entire Collingwood club for what they have established over the past two years, similar in a way to what my team accomplished  2017-20. No coincidence that McRae was part of our coaching team in that golden era.

It's been two days since I began this post and even more tangents have come to mind about what success is. Something so basic slapped me right between the eyes this morning as I was going about the most mediocre of tasks. 

What came to me was that success in our own eyes can be practically anything. It needn't be climbing the highest peak on each continent, writing a best seller or whatever floats your boat.

 As I got up this morning, the first day of the weekend, I had made a little list of things that I'd like to get done today. (I keep the manufacturers of post-it notes in business!!)

Well, didn't it go off like a frog in a sock!!

Washing all done and hung up, the house vacuumed, mopped and all benches wiped down.

I even managed to wash my car and vac it as well. I just got on a roll, and after each job I just jumped into the next with enthusiasm as I was getting things done and feeling successful doing it. All the while with my favourite music blasting, which only added to my enjoyment. At this point you're all probably thinking "Who gets excited about getting their housework done??!!", and rightly so.

The past few weeks have had me feeling down in the dumps for the most part as my body continues to break down and fall apart (I can still laugh about it!)

Just as my hands were sort of recovering I find I need another op on one of them. No big deal, just another annoyance. I also need an op on my shoulder which will be a little more than inconveniencing, but I'm accustomed to this by now.

And two weeks ago while seeing the doc I mentioned about an itchy spot on my back that I just couldn't reach to scratch. He duly checked it and said that it was a mole that looked a little concerning and needed to come out. Okay, no big deal, heaps of people have all sorts of things cut off/out.

So last week I go in to get it removed, but as the two doctors doing the job looked more closely I hear a few "Hmmm's" and "What about those ones?"

Not exactly music to my ears, so I ask about what was going on and they said that there were a few to be looked at, and that one in particular looked 'angrier' than the others and that they'd remove it first and do the others next week. 

After some more discussion and poking around they got the job done and I couldn't believe the size of the piece of flesh that was removed. It was little bit bigger than a jelly baby (overseas readers might have to google that!) and because it left a decent hole, it needed to be stitched up again. Since then I've been so sore, which is to be expected as they just couldn't leave a crater there!

So what has this got to do with Success?

Rather than dwelling on what the possible outcomes could be once this mole and the others get checked, I just chose to look for success in other areas, and that's exactly what happened this morning. Such a trivial task as mopping my floors, or getting the housework done so efficiently, and better than usual I might add enabled me to feel like I had climbed the Seven Peaks or run a marathon again. I'll get the results of the moles in due course, so in the meantime there is nothing at all I can do about them. Worrying won't help, and might prove to be useless anyway if my results are good. If they're not, I'll deal with that when the time is needed. For the moment I want to bask in the success of having a clean house!!!!!

Which brings me to the point I'm trying to make.

To be successful at something usually makes one feel good about themselves ( look up the effects of dopamine) and I managed to achieve that by doing tasks that are often considered meaningless and trivial, but they altered my mindset to a point that the rest of my day feels just so positive.

Further trivial exploits from my day that have made me feel like there is some success going on.

As I was going out to the bins at the back of the yard I stopped to look around our garden, and I was taken aback by what was happening.

I'm by no means a gardener, Jen was and I'm just trying to maintain what was here when we bought the place and also what she established.

I didn't stop to 'smell the roses', but I did take time to look at them and I felt an element of success that I was able to "prune" them a few months ago, and now look what confronts me.

The photo doesn't do them justice, the colours and formation are stunning and just make our yard look beautiful. Definitely a bunch heading to her gravesite today ❤️🌹

This made me look around a bit and to try and take time to appreciate what I have a lot more.

Usually I only look at these bushes to check if they need trimming. Today I really took time to admire the growth and the array of flowers and colours. My recent trimming must have worked!

And then I notice that I've actually got a lemon tree. I don't use the lemons, but a close inspection revealed how good they are. Luckily a close friend came around to change the dressings on my back so she was able to take a bag of them home. It's amazing how much you see when you really look, and  and how much you how much you miss when you just do the usual mowing and trimming etc.

We had a good discussion about this, and how in the 'busyness' of life we too often fail to stop to really see things.

Just by having a bit of a decent look around the garden has given me new incentive to have even more success in trying to keep it looking good, I'll just have to ensure that I make the time to "see" more often.

And while I'm talking about the garden, we have these other plants called "Bird of Paradise'. Normally I just see them as bulky plants that get in the way when I'm trying to mow around the pond, but on closer inspection they really are plants to admire. I had it pointed out to me once that all they need is a pair of googly eyes and how we perceive them then would change dramatically.

You be the judge.

This is the view from our kitchen/living area, and I always feel that they are keeping an eye on me.

Put some eyes on them and....

As someone who always feels the need to be doing something active, not being able to do this at the moment was making me feel so much less than successful, but the change in my disposition didn't really come by choice, it was somewhat of a slow realisation that there are other things out there that can develop your mindset.

Little did I know that it would be a mop and a vacuum cleaner that awakened me!!!

Not only alert me that success can come in the simplest of forms, it can also awaken us to other skills that we may not have realised that we had.

I'm now getting ready to hit the garden again this afternoon because I'm feeling a tad more confident in guessing which plants are real, and which ones are the weeds. It goes without saying that some friendly fire might take out a few proper plants rather than weeds, but my mindset is based on success rather than failure, so I'm hoping that the overall result will be okay.

There are a multitude of jobs to be done around the house, so with an attitude of success, I can choose whether to aim high, low or somewhere in between, but I'm determined to find where that level of success will be.

The same can then be applied to other aspects of our lives. Work. Relationships.

I remember the saying "If you believe you will fail, you will", and that is very appropriate for this post. Try attacking a new task, job, relationship with an attitude that there WILL be a level of success, even if it is tiny. It might feel like it has gone ballistic. Look for the small positives and build upon them. I find that celebrating a small win feels a lot better than dwelling on a big loss.

Well Readers, I hope that you can look back over your day and identify some levels of success that you may otherwise have forgotten about completely, or not realised that they happened at all. Especially if you've had a crappy day, there could still be a small celebration tucked in there somewhere.

Over the past two years it has been very easy for me to dwell on the unfortunate things that have happened, but through it all I have always tried my best to find even just the tiniest bit of positivity. Trust me, it helps, even on those days when it so hard to find something. I even take time to laugh at my own situation at times with how I hobble about and creak and groan every time I get up from the floor or a chair😂

In class the other day one of my students came up to me all worried saying "Mr K, I've got a problem"

Without thinking, I just quickly said back something that I often say when I hear this, "We don't have problems, just solutions". That was it, then we sorted out what was troubling her.

A few times since then she has come up to me and said "Mr K, I need help with a solution".

This blew me away, as it meant that my simple response has in some way helped her in her approach to dealing with problems. 

Success.

For both of us.

Okay Readers,

That's it for today, I'll get off my pulpit and get some meaningful tasks done around the house. While writing this I've been racking my brain trying to think of what sort of exercise I might be able to do in my current condition. It's not much, but I think I've got a few I can do. Small successes, but success is success!!!

Until my next post...

Cheers 😁

 Legacy

Hi Readers,

One again the obligatory yet futile attempt at making an excuse for leaving it too long in between posts, so I'll spare you the gory details.

I'm trying to adopt a new practice and attitude of identifying things that need to be done and getting onto them straight away instead of stuffing around doing other things instead.

This post has been nagging at me since mid last week, and as I've been putting time into getting ready for my end of year reports, I just needed a break so what better opportunity than to do this now.

At our school, named after St Francis of Assisi, we have a massive day each year where everyone brings in their animals to be blessed, and we also give out awards to 2 children from each year level, our St Francis of Assisi Awards. These are prestigious awards and much thought and preparation goes into identifying and choosing the recipients each year.

The day looks like organised chaos with every sort of pet imaginable present, from dogs and cats, to rabbits, guinea pigs, various birds, snakes and even horses!! To the credit of each pet I didn't hear of any major toileting issues or predatory behaviour!!

Anyway, in class last week we were talking about this day and how it stems from the legacy of St Francis. What better way to make it more relevant than to talk about what sort of legacy we'd like to leave behind?

With my kids we just discussed what legacy they'd like to leave at the end of this year, how would they want to be remembered after a year in 5K?

To their credit they really embraced the concept, due mainly to the culture that we have developed in our class and their ability to openly acknowledge positive things about themselves. We'd discussed how easy it is to identify our faults, and even to brush off positive comments given to us. I must admit that I'm the worst example of his and I still feel extremely uncomfortable when a positive comment comes my way.

Why is this so?

For some reason, Australians are renowned for the 'tall poppy syndrome', where it's okay to do well, but don't overdo it. We seem to admire people who achieve well, but only to a certain point where we tend to start to view them less admirably as their success increases. There are notable exceptions of course, as criticism of some of our legendary Australians would be akin to killing Bambi!!

Who might slot into this category? As soon as I think of a name, criticisms that I've heard also come to the fore.

So here goes, some possible names of people who were universally appreciated...

Sir Edward 'Weary' Dunlop?

Victor Chang ?

Ash Barty?

Olivia Newton John?

Just to name a few.

Some of you may have even stopped reading already based purely on a few names that I've thrown up. What I'm suggesting though is that each person wouldn't have been as pure as driven snow, but in general terms they stack up well when compared to other 'good' people.

We could all name some of our favourite sports people, entertainers, giants of the economy and so on and then it all becomes subjective.

What one admires in one person might be totally missed by another. Is either terribly wrong?

When talking with my class we also discussed that their legacy might not be totally obvious at the moment and that it might not even be evident for years to come. We also discussed that one didn't have to be famous or great to leave a legacy. We all leave a legacy, and how different people remember and interpret us is completely up to them. Much of it depends upon what you know about that person, rather than what you hear about them.

For example, and I'll fly my Richmond flag here. 

Dustin Martin. I don't know him, never met him. However, he is generally acknowledged as a great footballer ( although I still hear opposition supporters still not able to say this) What I I have heard and read about him is that he is respected immensely throughout the club for the way that he treats others. Much of the disdain directed towards him does stem from some unsavoury events that have occurred throughout his career, and just by looking at him is enough for some people to not have a good word to say about him. A classic case of not really knowing about someone, but being prepared to make judgements about them. The same could be said for any number of other sports people.

Often what we hear about them is so far removed from our own expectations that we refuse to believe them, and I'll put my hand up for doing that.

Continuing on from the discussions with my Gr 5 class, we brainstormed for a list of people, past and present who have inspired us. There were the obligatory musicians, sports people, movie stars etc, but also put forward were the names of family members, friends, teachers, coaches and a multitude of names that you and I have never heard of and may never will.

Does this diminish their legacy?

Certainly not. 

I could put forward a few quick names of people that have left a lasting impression on me for a wealth of reasons, some you may know, others you will be left scratching your head.

Ray Carroll.

Sr Bridget

The Seven

D.R.

D.W.

A.T.

Hugh van Cuylenburg

Ant Middleton

Jen

I've just used the initials of some in order to protect their privacy, but I'm sure they know how much I value them.

The reasons for these are as wide as one could imagine. Some influenced me early in life, some many years ago, and some really came to the fore in the past two years when my life was turned upside down. If I could mould all of the brilliant qualities that I've recognised in each of these people what a super human being that would be, but I still prefer them all separately  because that's what makes each them so unique and special to me.

What I'm trying to point out here Readers is that we can be inspired by the legacy of anyone, no matter how well known they are or how insignificant they may appear to be on the global stage.

So who inspires you?

I'll imagine that a well known name might come to mind first, but let your mind wander and try to identify the qualities that you admire in those around you, because they are the people you are spending most of your time with.

If you are identifying a lot of positive qualities in those around you, then how lucky are you!!!

Now consider your own legacy. What's it like at the moment? What would you like it to be?

Chances are that you, like me, has come to the conclusion that you could pull your finger out in a few areas, but there are possibly also some areas where you might be thinking "Yeah, I think I'm going okay there".

Which brings me back to what I was mentioning early in the post. It's okay to say that you are proud of yourself in what you are doing. We don't need to "tall poppy" ourselves. Even though I'm the worst example of this, I'm happy to say that I'm working on it, and encouraging others just the same. Our legacy doesn't have to be as well known as someone incredibly famous or influential, it might only be obvious to as little as one person, and that's okay.

So, as usual, I try to leave a little thing for us to reflect on, or act on. Or ignore!!

What's your legacy?

Do you need to work on some aspects?

How will we know if it's happening? Often we won't know or never find out as it's mostly for others to judge.

As I was up at the cemetery this morning I looked at a few of the surrounding headstones and so many had a lasting quote that said something about the legacy left by the person buried there. I can imagine what the boys might put on mine...

"He eventually got fixed before we planted him!" 😂

And who we learn to admire can be as wide and as varied as anything. It still blows me away when I see the way some of the kids in my class treat each other, and me in certain ways. They may be 50 years younger than me but I'd say that I see an example each day of something that I should try and do that would make me a better person. Inspiration comes in many forms, we just need to be aware of them and be receptive to them.

I cringe at what they'll remember me for 😖

Our legacy isn't any less than the most famous people in the world, we can't control it but we can surely try and develop it. While we are all still above ground we have the opportunity to do something about it.

Bit of another banging on piece I know, but I'm glad I finally got it done. I actually get a bit uptight when I have an idea for a post swimming around in my head and don't get onto it for a few days. Today has been good.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😊