Showing Up

Hi Readers,

Well it has been quite a while between posts, so just scroll through previous posts and pick any one of the many excuses I've tried to bluff you with previously as to why this is the case!!!

This will be a short post as I'm waiting to board a flight and I want to finish it before we take off.

The main reason is that I've been reading an amazing book, and I wanted to finish it before I began this post as each night when I read a few pages it just gave me so much o think about. The book?

I know that I have banged on about this book before, but it is seriously one of the best I've read lately. There was always the temptation to read huge swathes each night, but I made it my mission to only read a few pages each session as he always left me inspired by what he was saying. It also made me look forward to the last 15 minutes of each day as I knew I'd be reading some of it. What a perfect way to end a crappy day, but also a great way to end a great day. Win Win !!

Nedd basically talks about what he terms "Showing Up", meaning that when we are able to do something we don't wimp out and take the easier path. Sure things might be harder, but it is in the DOING that we become better versions of ourselves.

 And it was in the final pages of his book that he summed up most of what his book was all about (and also why he ran across Australia!!)

"Try to break records by all means, knowing that in going for them you might come up short. But he truth is, records are secondary to the doing. Life is about showing up and going hard, not for recognition, or reward but because the striving and the discipline- and, yes, the suffering- make you a better person. When an enticing opportunity presents itself, don't hesitate. There is never a right time to start, so dive in. You take something away from every experience.

Even if you don't win, you learn.

Some of you might have just read this excerpt from his book and thought "So What?"

That's okay, because one needs the context of the entire book to fully appreciate all that he went through, and the reasons behind it. But for me, it crystallises many of the things we choose to do in life, either by choice or necessity.

As most of you would know, my wife passed away nearly two years ago from complications resulting from the leukaemia that she had fought for 10 months or so.

Fast forward to late last year and my older brother Tony received the same diagnosis out of the blue. Straight into hospital, chemo and lots of testing. Pretty soon they were searching for donors for his stem cell transplant, and after 5 of his siblings got tested it was decided that I would be his donor.

At first I was totally fine with this, no worries at all. It was only after I had so many people questioning me as to whether or not I'd be up to it after losing Jen so recently to the same illness. Even the doctors questioned me when they found out what had happened in the recent years, but I was able to assure them I was fine, and if anything, I was even more determined to try and help someone out.

Time to show up.

With lots of people asking about my ability to do this, it did start to give me thoughts of self doubt, but the one thing that always switched my thinking was "He'd do exactly the same thing for me".

This became the "enticing opportunity" that Jedd talks about, a moment in our lives where we can really step up and do something out of our comfort zone that could really help someone else, and at the same time make us a better person.

If anything, the past few weeks where I have been down to see him in hospital and prepare for the transplant only highlighted how lucky and privileged I am compared to others and the cards that they have been dealt.

For example, in the week before the transplant a nurse was showing me around the ward at The Alfred Hospital in Melbourne, and she told me about a ten year old girl who was going to do the same as I was going to do, except in this case she was donating to save her father.

WOW. Talk about being hit with a perspective pill!!!

That girl was showing up in a huge way, and if all goes well for them, what a story to tell!!

Readers, not for a moment am I suggesting that I wouldn't want to be a donor for Tony, exactly the opposite. What has challenged me the most is that this is something that one rarely expects to do in life, if ever. It doesn't really become a choice thing, it's just one of those things that always happens to someone else, only this time that someone is me.

I suppose the thing that tears at the heart strings so much is that I have had such close hand experience with this situation in recent times, I didn't envisage that I'd be confronted with it again so soon, or if ever again.

So how is this paragraph from Nedd's book relevant to the rest of us who haven't broken a record, or run across Australia or raised nearly $3 million for the homeless??

I see "showing up" as being something that we can do every day. If any of you are like me, there must be days when you are driving to work thinking "I don't think I can do this today!"

The reasons could be tenfold, but if we take this mindset into our workplace we are only going to annoy the crap out of everyone there. It could be the same if you are going to a gathering, dinner or party that you'd love to avoid but can't. I see "showing up" as sucking it up and striving to not let your inner negativity affect others. 

Ever tried to stay miserable all day? It's hard work !! I know from my perspective, if I'm heading to work and dreading something about the day ahead, I just look for at least one positive to start the day. That might be as simple as being rude (respectfully) to a colleague who like me is always there early!! That lightens the morning and generally sets me up for a good day. Likewise, he gives it back to me. 

Just as we can try to show up with the opposite to how we really may be feeling, don’t we all know it when someone has rocked up and just cuts loose because something has upset them. Showing up could also be the time when we give our time to that person just to see if we can help in any way. 

I’m not asking you all to buy a halo to wear, but just to take stock and consider the times when we could perhaps think about how others might be perceiving us and whether we need to do something about it? Showing up could also be recognising this before someone has to embarrass us by telling us!! Ouch!!

I said this might be short, as the plane is about to leave. I usually wait a while before posting, but hang it, I’m letting this one go straight away!!

Thursday - 7 hours plugged into the machine with strict instructions to remain as still as I could. My left arm was not to be moved at all. Let’s just say the bladder was given a good stretching!!😖

Friday- another 5 hours, another bladder workout!

Thursday - while waiting to see if I was needed again the next day I squeezed in a quick visit to Tony upstairs. He messaged last night to say the stem cells were going in already.

Well Readers,

I hope that you can all stop and reflect on the ways that “showing up” could be good for you. And others who benefit from you making the effort!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁