Giving Yourself a Green Light

Hi Readers,

As usual, been very slack between posts. Not because I haven't wanted to, but just because I didn't know how to frame this topic.

I've spent most of this year getting some things done that were both planned and unplanned. The first part of the year was just getting accustomed to retirement and enjoying this new form of freedom that I knew was not going to end. Previously while enjoying holidays or long service leave there was always the thought of having to go back to work dangling, and it often took the shine off having the time away from work. 

Don't get me wrong, I didn't dislike my work, more the opposite, but holidaying sure beats work any day. For me at least.

How dos the saying go? "Your worst day of holidays is better than your best day at work!!"

 I had my time overseas which was great, then it was time to start organising some more things at home. I had an upcoming operation on my ankle that I thought would only lay me up for a short time, but due to some complications that turned into quite a lengthy recovery period which is still ongoing.

During this period I have had more than enough time to think about things and what faces me in the future. While we generally have a plan for the future, we just don't know exactly what we will be faced with and what will happen out of the blue. We can make plans, and often these plans might be really practical, other times they can turn out to be total failures, and I think I've been experiencing a bit of both.

In the past few weeks I have sold my motorbike, mainly due to practical reasons beyond my control, and also because I think it was a smart thing to do as well.

Then I sold my caravan as it just wasn't getting used and I couldn't see that it was going to get much use in the future due to some of my ailments. I also felt that it was too big for me anyway, I didn't enjoy the amount of setting up and packing up required for it and I was never comfortable towing a thing that size. As I no longer had the van I questioned whether I still needed the 4WD that I bought to tow it. While it was a great car, I just wasn't comfortable with driving around in such a larger car when I didn't have a reason for having it anymore. Furthermore, it was difficult to get in and out of with my bung ankles and bung shoulders. So that got sold and I downsized to something more practical and economical. It seems now that my fire sale is over!!

Readers, I can hear many of you saying "What an idiot!" I sort of agree with you, but these are things that I didn't come to realise until I tried them. An expensive way to find out!!

Which brings me to the point of this post, 'Giving yourself a green light'.

In the past I would have only dreamed about doing these things and would not have taken the risk of doing them. But the events of the past few years have taught me that life can change in a snap of the finger, and we can spend forever thinking "What if I had only tried that?" No more dwelling for ages on decisions from now on, I'm choosing to act on things sooner and live with the consequences.

Well, that's what I've been doing, giving myself a green light to try the things I've often dreamed about, especially as I now have the time to do it.

Since being given the green light from my surgeon two weeks ago to start putting weight on my leg I am now more mobile and this has resulted in a totally new mindset for the future. Whereas for the past few months I've been pretty much housebound I had developed a sense of negativity for the future, but now I can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. 

Many things have been falling into place on the home front and I now have the opportunity and attitude to pursue some new things, and to have a second crack at others that I had thought were not for me in the first place. Some of these might surprise those close to me and you will really think I'm a crackpot, but I am still to fully make up my mind about some of these.

So how do I make up my mind?

We all know that opinions are like backsides, as everyone has one, so I'm only really listening to the advice from our three sons as they know me best. Sure, I listen to advice from others, it would be disrespectful not to, and often it is good.

But the boys are quite honest and simplistic in what they say to me, "Dad, just do what makes you happy"

I know that something I'm considering soon will make many of you seek to have me certified, but once again I'm just giving myself a green light to do something. Stay tuned on that one as I'm still only a 70/30 chance of doing it!!

 If I don't have a crack at some of these things I can just see myself hanging around home all the time and not making the most of the opportunity to get out and do things. I could be in danger of becoming a hermit, which I can see can easily happen!!!

I'm set up so well for retirement I may as well start enjoying the benefits. I do however feel guilt that I get to do this when it was meant to be the two of us, but a show I was watching yesterday spoke about making the most of your days and this is what I'm going to try and do.

I've used this image before in a number of posts, but it means even more to me now as I look forward to whatever may be waiting for me. 

I was on a run through the streets of Vancouver a few years ago and I found this painted on the footpath. As I kept running I kept thinking about it and wished I'd taken a photo. It took me ages to backtrack and find it, but since then it has sort of been a mantra of mine and something I try to live by.

Back in the day when I was dreaming about retirement, I envisaged myself going for long runs everyday. I could never have predicted how I would find myself today, but I'm not dwelling on it. I'm looking at what I might still be able to do and taking steps (no pun intended) to get there. It means changing my mindset and just sucking it up and moving on, something that I am now hoping that I'll be able to achieve more successfully. This couldn't be done unless I gave myself a green light to have a crack at it.

And was it just coincidence that while I had music playing in the house this morning that a line from one of my favourite artists, Neil Young just slapped me across the face?

"...Like a coin that won't get tossed..."

That's exactly how I have been feeling lately. To me it's saying that I need to make things happen, otherwise I'll just become the equivalent of an untossed coin, unfulfilled.

So Readers, the point of this post is about giving yourself permission to seek the things that you may at times keep at arms length, just in case they don't happen, or might not work. We often don't take risks purely for the fact they are risky. I've had a crack at some things in the past years that haven't worked, but I feel glad that I made the choice to finally have a go at them. I just might try some again but in a different way as I still have that niggling feeling that perhaps I didn't do it right in the first place. And if it doesn't work the next time at least I'll be happy in the knowledge that I tried. No-one else has to worry about it except me. I'm at the stage of searching for my "Next thing to do" and with the body being somewhat more willing (touch wood) I have renewed confidence that whatever it is I'll be searching for ways to make it work rather than worrying about things that might stop it from working.

In just a few short weeks my aspirations have changed dramatically, maybe it's the prospect of the Spring weather slowly descending upon us? Whatever, I welcome it!!

Readers, good luck in giving yourself some green lights to pursue things that are lingering in your mind, it's actually quite liberating to commit to something without fully knowing how it will turn out. And if it doesn't, at least you tried.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Contentment

Hi Readers,

Once again I fess up about being slack with getting posts done. I honestly thought that this year I'd be banging them out weekly, but it seems I'm only doing it weakly!!!

I was just thinking to myself why this is the case, and I think it's because I know I have ample time to do them, but then don't feel the need to rush about it. Each day I say to myself "Time to do a post", but then put it off until tomorrow. Then another tomorrow appears and so on. When I was working I was probably more committed as I was competing with work demands, whereas now I'm just competing with my own organisation, or lack of it!!

Anyway, here we go.

Now the source of the inspiration behind this post.

For the past few years I have become extremely interested in stories about people who always strive to get the best out of themselves, no matter how major or minor may be whatever they are doing at the time. I have read, watched and listened to so many accounts ranging from famous people down to average Joe's like myself who just like to pen some occasional thoughts. We all have the ability to contribute and no-one should feel they have contributed less just because they are not famous for it.

Someone could build a company that helps millions, while another person might save a friendship. Both major accomplishments in my book. And who are we to judge who accomplished more?

Which brings me to the concept of Contentment.

I was watching an interview recently with Alex Pearce, the captain of the Fremantle Football Club, someone who I knew of by name, but I knew little to nothing about him. I'd been looking for something to watch while having a workout and decided that looking at something that I knew very little about could surely teach me something new?

Boy was I blown away. I sort of had this pre conceived perception that he was made captain of the team because they had a shallow pool of candidates. I was very quickly proven wrong. I was immediately taken by the clarity in his speech and how he expressed his thoughts so clearly and earnestly. He could definitely hold a persons attention just by the way he put his words together.

But what struck me the most was the way that he has overcome adversity in his own life with mental health challenges, and also a run of shocking injuries. Through everything that he had to endure he always sought ways to be content with what he was doing. Sometimes this meant not over striving or over training, as this just placed him under increased self pressure, and often his body would fail him again and again. As would his mind.

Through learning to understand himself more and accepting his limitations he was able to be more accepting of what he could and couldn't achieve, and as a result he was more content.

No coincidence that in the years since he has continued to cement himself as a great leader, one who doesn't get complacent with his performances in anything that he does.

And it is also no coincidence that it was his final play in the last minute of the game yesterday that won it for his team. He pointed to where he wanted the ball kicked and he flew sideways into the pack, taking a brilliant contested mark and then kicking the winning goal. Afterwards when being interviewed he played down the significance of it, as he said it was a set play and that he was calm in his approach as he was content, knowing that he could pull it off. Some could misinterpret this as arrogance, but after watching the interview a week ago I could really understand how he could expect himself to take the mark as he knew that it was within his capabilities. I still get goosebumps watching replays of his mark!!!

So after watching the tv interview a week ago, then again hearing him talk about the mark he took, I really started to think more about the the things that make me feel content, and maybe you might be doing the same thing now yourselves.

My past two weeks have been pretty eventful for a number of reasons.

Firstly, our dear brother Tony succumbed to the leukaemia that he had been fighting for 18 months or so. His funeral was last week, and was another of those rare times where the remaining siblings get together at the same time. This is hard as we live across three states. 

Tony had fought such a brave fight and was determined to beat this bitch of a disease that has hit our family so hard in the past three years, but towards the end he just must have realised that he had done all that he could and it was now time to relent. I won't say give in because we never heard that from him ever. In his final days there must have been a time where he felt that he had given it all he could, now it was time to go. I'm not suggesting for a minute that he was content to go, but as we all might face the time where we have to address our mortality, at what point do we accept that our time is due?

Tony faced everything so bravely, I hope that when my time comes I will be able to face it as stoically as he did.

And out of a terribly sad event, Tony's passing resulted in a very rare gathering of the remaining family members.

I'm glad I've got that part of the past two weeks out of the way as it is still pretty raw.

Regular readers will be aware that last year I bought a caravan and a bigger car to tow it. It was always on the cards for our retirement, so I decided to go ahead and do it, albeit on my own. Well Readers, the fantasy didn't last long.

The van got sold two weeks ago, and the 4WD went last week and I downsized to a smaller car as I just don't need such a big car any more.

It was a very hard decision to make, but one that I am content with for a number of reasons. Many people have looked at me funnily as if to say "Are you nuts?", while others have just come out and said it to me!!

Firstly, and I may have alluded to it in a previous post, I think I bought the van thinking what it would be like for the two of us, or two people. As it's just me now, and the fact that I'm not searching for someone to share it with, it was feeling like a white elephant. Each time I've been away in it, it has been okay during the day as I'm up and about, but returning each night to the van brings just a massive feeling of emptiness, and only emphasised further that I was trying to fulfil a dream that would not happen. It wasn't lonely as much as empty, and I just couldn't get myself to enjoy it.

The events of the past 3 years have meant that I no longer dwell too long on things and try to make decisions to move on, as life can be just too short. I found that I was thinking too much about it, but was always coming to the same decision to sell, so I did. If I have made the wrong decision then it's nobody's problem but my own. And who is to judge if it is right or wrong anyway? Stupid perhaps, but no-one was saying I was stupid when I bought it. Those who give me their 'advice' about it are usually giving it from their perspective, which I understand. But I'm not sure if they fully realise my reasons as I don't share them to many people at all. It was much, much more than just financial.

The same applied when I sold my motorbike recently. Once again, I had people questioning my sanity, but only I fully know the full extent of the ailments with my body that make riding a motorbike dangerous for me, and for all you other road users. So thank me for looking after you!!

I have been so lucky to have a few super close friends who I have confided all this to and they have been a super help. But our 3 sons have been by far the greatest support as they just say "Dad, do what makes you happy". 

They are just the best♥️

That's why I am content with the decisions and choices I have made in the past few weeks, who knows, you might find that I've gone and bought a speedboat or a sports car, when in reality a mobility scooter would be more appropriate!! (I'm not thinking of buying a boat or sports car by the way!!) While I was nervous right up until the moment of handover, I felt a remarkable sense of calm soon afterwards, which to me was being told that it was the best thing to do. Now I can look forward to whatever my next adventure might be.

Hooked up and ready to deliver to the new owners.

Time will tell if I made the right decision, but I won't be dwelling on it too much. It was something I tried and it just didn't work for me. It went to a lovely farming couple from Inglewood who will create much better memories with it than I think I would have been able to.

And just to show that time moves on quickly, today I saw my 4WD for sale in a car yard in Bendigo. As I said, it was a great car, but too big for me to just drive around, which is why I went for something just a bit smaller. Yes, I took a bit of a money hit, but I think I'll make it up in the long run. Plus, it was physically hard for me to get in and out of with my two bung shoulders and two bung ankles, and already I'm appreciating the easier access in the new car. My life, my choices.

And after all the haggling and so forth I am satisfied that I'm content with what I have done, the stress has gone completely.

Since retiring I still get asked this question a lot.

"So what are your plans?"

As I'm still a bit of a virgin at this retiring gig, forgive me if I haven't mapped out each day for the next few years!! The first part of the year, and even up until now, has just been enjoying not having to go to work and just having the time and freedom to do what I want, when I want. That sounds very selfish I know, and it is still something I feel guilty having the freedom with. I also feel incredibly guilty that I get to do all these things already, albeit on my own, when they were originally planned for the two of us.

Much of the early part of the year was like an extra period of holidays, so I was riding and kayaking each day and loving making great use of the weather.

Then I was overseas for a few weeks, and then some caravan trips when I got back home.

Then throw in some trips to QLD to visit family.

Pretty soon I was knocked up with this bloody ankle and that has consumed the past 12 weeks, meaning I can't do much at all. Only 6 more weeks in the boot hopefully🤞

Actually, today I made huge inroads and mowed my back lawn. It must have looked funny, but I got it done with no problems. I didn't dare touch the front lawn as my neighbours would kill me, plus it doesn't need mowing.

While I hate this prolonged inactivity, I'm content that I am able to do most of the things I need to do. Sort of!!

But through all of this the one thing that sustains me is that I am content with where I am with everything at the moment.

Sure, most things bug me, but I know that is my reality. I can't worry about my leg, it will get better when it does. I had cortisone shots in a shoulder last week so that has helped lift my spirits a bit, I feel like a million dollars now!! (For a few weeks at least)

I'm gutted at Tony's loss, but I feel a sense of content that he is no longer suffering.

I managed to spend quality time with my siblings, despite the circumstances. I came away from those few days with a sense of content having been with them all.

I even managed to get our rental property painted, something that I was stressing about. But now that the car and caravan have gone, the rental is painted, I am sort of getting around the house without a crutch all the time, and I have some plans for the next few weeks and months, I feel a sense of contentment for the time being.

God only knows what I'll be doing six months from now, but I'm content that I'm not stressing about it. As I said earlier, I'm not dwelling on things too much and choosing to make decisions about things more quickly instead of procrastinating.

If you hear that I'm living in a humpy out in the desert, taking ballet lessons or working on an olive farm in Greece don't be surprised!!!

So Readers,

All I hope that you might get from this is that you just might take a few moments to see where there is contentment in your lives.

It needn't be a huge slap in the face or major discovery, it might be that you remembered to unpack the dishwasher just before your other half got home! 

I'm just feeling content that I've completed another post as it always leaves me feeling so positive. I just have to lift my game and commit more regularly, but I must admit that whenever I write, it feels like that was the best time to write.

Until my next post,

Cheers. 😁

 

 A Totally Random Post

Hi Readers,

Usually I have just one thing that motivates a post, but this time I'm going rogue and will just bang on about a number of random things. In no order and without any connections.

Why?

I recently spent 4 days in the car driving up and back to Qld, and had so much time to think about things that I have too many ideas running through my head so I'll just let my fingers do the walking across the keyboard and see what happens.

First of all, a bit over two weeks ago I had my post op appointment with my surgeon after my leg operation. For 7 weeks I wasn't to put my foot on the ground at all and no weight was meant to go through it so that the bone graft would work. At this appointment he was pleased with the progress and finally gave me permission to slowly start putting my leg on the ground again, but I still have to keep the boot on for some time.

This was like being told I could run again, but I must admit that two weeks later I still get timid trying to use that leg again.

So what do I do when I get home?

A spur of the moment decision, I might drive to Qld!!

The rest of that day was spent quickly packing, then planning the trip. I knew that I couldn't drive a really long way in one go yet, so I decided to stay at places that I'd never been to before.

That meant on the first day I drove to Canberra and had big plans to visit so many places.

As I've referred to in many posts, "Big Mistake" !!

The Australian War Museum has always interested me, so off I went on my very cold first morning in Canberra. I think I should have thought a bit more beforehand what a trip to the museum would entail, and I soon discovered that meant LOTS of walking!!!

At first I was fine, but I soon began to realise that doing such a large museum on crutches was going to be a challenge, especially as I have a troublesome shoulder that I may need an op on soon. But persevere I did and I got through the various levels that I wanted to see.

As I was leaving, one of the workers came up to me and said "Next time you visit, just ask us for a mobility scooter"!! I don't think I'll be back there again, and I definitely don't want one of those scooters!!!

Not to be outdone, the next day I showed that I definitely had not learnt my lesson, so I went off to the National Museum. 

Yep, Julia Roberts was screaming in my ear again!!

Apart from my stupid decision, he moment I got in there I discovered that there were a number of school holiday groups visiting, so there were kids everywhere. So many displays were closed or still being built, and there wasn't much else to see anyway.

So the rest of that day was spent touring around Canberra taking in the sights from the comfort of my car.

I still enjoyed my visit there, maybe I might visit again when I'm more mobile.

That night I began to ponder how far I'd travel the next day, so I just decided to pick a place about 7 hours away, and Port Macquarie came up. Never been there before, never heard much about it, so what was there to lose?

Once I got there I was blown away by how nice it was and how much there was to explore, but my Canberra experience meant that I'd just have to be happy with seeing the sights from my car, which I did.

Just beautiful weather and scenery, the photos don't do it justice!

The next day I arrived at Burleigh Heads and spent the next few days visiting another brother in Brisbane, and our two sons, daughter in law and two grandsons in Burleigh.

I was very fortunate to have secured some digs just around the corner from the grandsons, so it only took me 5 minutes to crutch my way around there each day. While the 4 year old quickly understood why I was wearing the moon boot and on crutches, the 18 month old took a while to get used to it. I could have bought the younger one any number of toys to play with, but all he really wanted to do was just make tracks and pathways with my crutches on the floor. I know what I might get him for his next birthday!!

While they were living overseas I had recorded quite a number of books online for them to listen to, and now that they are home I was able to give them a number of new books for their parents (and myself and their Uncle Will) to read with them.

Is there anything better than just sitting down and losing yourself in a book with your own kids and grandkids?

My favourite times

And just as we would read books with our boys as kids, Sam and Phoebe are just great at doing it with their own boys.

After a few days I was back in the car and listening to lots of talkback radio for the next two days. One particular discussion really piqued my interest.

A discussion came on about those "flashes in the pan" in our lives, the people who drift in and out for such a brief time but leave a lasting impression.

This got me thinking about those "randoms" that I have encountered in my travels that have left me with great memories.

Here's just a few...

Jen and I were on a train travelling through Switzerland and sharing a cabin with a similarly aged couple who we discovered were from Israel. For the next few hours we were sharing stories about what we did, what it was like living where we lived and so on. But perhaps the thing that we took most from this encounter was that they also had three sons who were similar ages to our three boys. Comparing what it was like for our boys as they grew up and faced the future was just captivating, so many similarities, but also so many differences. We talked for hours, and could have talked for days, and despite all the fantastic experiences we had on this trip, we seemed to always cherish this moment the most.

We all have friends and acquaintances who we run into from time to time and when leaving we say the usual "We must stay in touch" but never do.

I'm so guilty of this!

As I have mentioned in a previous post, on my recent overseas trip I caught up with two friends in London who I hadn't seen for 44 and 40 years respectively. Of course when I left each of them I said "I'll def catch up next time I visit London", so I sincerely hope that I can honour this as just that experience of seeing them again really made me appreciate our friendships so much more. And it wasn't really that hard to do, but it just meant so much.

Now I think about other friends who I haven't seen in ages who live only a few hours away from me and we keep saying "Let's catch up", but never do. Maybe it's the close proximity that makes us think that we will catch up, but it's more often the case that sometimes this is what stops us from seeing them at all because we just think we will soon.

I def need to put more effort into that.

As I took a small tour bus early one morning from Krakow in Poland to visit Auschwitz-Birkenau, I sat with a young Irish couple for the trip. In those few hours together that day we learnt so much about each other. I was learning about what it was like for them starting out on a life together, and they were just as intrigued asking me what it was like travelling alone after losing Jen. I still think about them a lot and what they are doing now and what their future holds. Just two randoms on a bus, but they made a huge impression on me.

As I was touring through the underground salt mine near Krakow, I was chatting with another young couple from England. As it turns out, they were both Primary teachers, and we just talked about so much about what it was like being a teacher in our respective countries. They were a few years into their careers, and mine had just come to an end, and just like the Irish couple, I learnt so much from these two in just a few hours.

And this story doesn't involve me, but it does involve a friend of mine. Some people were in a pub in England and someone said that wherever you go, someone will know someone that you know. To test this out, one of them stood on a chair in the pub and called for silence. He then said "Does anyone here know  'Bill Smith? (Not his real name, I'll keep it private)

To their surprise, someone yelled out "Is that Bill Smith from ..............? He said the actual town in country Victoria. As it turns out, these people were from the same town as 'Bill Smith' and knew him well. Purely coincidental, but it brought so many laughs that night.

When I got back from QLD, a colleague contacted me to say that a boy from my class last year had a terrible accident last Friday when he was hit by a car when crossing a road and had both legs broken.

I went around to his house yesterday to see him and give a few little gifts and I was shocked at what had happened to him. If anything, it was a real perspective pill for me as I whinge about my pathetic sore leg. What I have is nothing compared to what he has been through and what he is facing. I hope I can shut my mouth about my incidental situation and take stock of those who are facing real problems. He inspired me with his attitude and outlook, I was just so proud of him. I need to be like him.

Keeping to my randomness of this post, when I got home two days ago after two days in the car, I was just knackered, tired and grumpy.

I stepped out into the yard just to check things out and was greeted by this.

When Jen passed away, a group of her closest friends gave me this Camellia tree to remember her by. For the past three years I don't really care much about any plants in the garden as much as this. I do look after all the plants, but this one gets my total attention. The weather here has been cold and bleak, and to arrive home and see the "Jen Tree" as I call it sprouting flowers was just brilliant. How could something so beautiful be happening when everything else was being so bleak?

More about that in a moment.

Whenever I'm feeling a bit flat, just a glance out the window from my armchair always brings me back to reality.

God Bless you Secret Seven!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

There was also something else growing in the garden, and I'll try to clean it up once this rain clears off, but with the recent publicity about mushrooms in our part of the world, they are not really the plant of choice at the moment!!

I def won't be trying them out!!

Finally Readers, and this has been really tough, our family lost another member yesterday when our much loved brother Tony passed away after a battle with Leukaemia for the past 20 months or so.

Tony was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia, the same as which Jen had.

Jen had a stem cell transplant and got the all clear after 100 days, but other issues arose that eventually took her life after just 10 months from diagnosis.

So going through it all again with Tony has just brought back everything. Not that I have forgotten any of it, but hearing and seeing all that he went through has been so hard to see happening so soon after Jen's passing.

I was the donor for his first transplant which was successful after 100 days, but it was not long after that it returned. I found this so hard to take, as I already felt that I wasn't able to help Jen, and now I felt the same towards Tony. I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes one just can't control how they feel.

A second transplant from his daughter, and once again the all clear after 100 days, but not long after things went the wrong way. Without going into detail, various challenges presented, culminating in Tony going back into hospital recently, and passing away early yesterday morning. We also lost a sister to cancer just before Jen passed away, so the last 3 years have been pretty rough.

I didn't want this post to end on such a downer, but it is what it is.

The first of two days donating stem cells for his first transplant.

A quick visit after the second day of cell harvesting.

Tony was inspiring in the way that he approached his illness, always being upbeat, positive and taking care to not let us worry about him. I didn't hear one complaint from him, he just always accepted what was happening and kept fighting no matter how ill he felt.

In the end, it just became too much.

Rest peacefully Tacka, much loved and always remembered ♥️

Well Readers, that's a post about random stuff that just helps me to gather my thoughts here today after such a shitty past few days. And I haven't checked for typos, so when you see one, ignore it!!

I'm sure that I'll walk out the door today (okay, I'll crutch it) and there will be something new to write about.

Until my next post,

Cheers 🥹

 People are Important!

Hi Readers,

As usual I have just been waiting for some random event to prompt this post, and just as sure as regular surgery, something popped up earlier this week. I've sat on it for a few days and it must have prompted further examples to happen, or perhaps I just become more aware of and perceptive of them.

And in simple terms, it is all about how important people are.

No frills or bells and whistles about this, but often the most obvious things to us are neglected for that very reason.

This all started on Tuesday  when a great friend and former colleague contacted me to say that another former colleague was being farewelled at school the next day, and would I like to come out and be part of it. This person being farewelled did my farewell when I left at the end of last year, so it was something I was really looking forward to as he has become a very close personal friend.

At first I was excited at the prospect, but then I began to feel a tad anxious as I didn't want to be seen as someone who couldn't stay away after leaving. Life moves on, and as I had decided to retire it was time for me to move on to the next phase of my life. But the thing that swayed me was the fact that this person had been so generous to me in so many ways, I felt it was disrespectful to not be there to see him off.

So off I went.

It was great to actually get out of the house for a little while, as I'm turning into "Nut Job Bob" from just sitting around all day while this leg takes its time to heal. Admittedly, I do go out for a short drive each day just to get out of the house, but this time I was going to actually be around people. All the time I have spent alone this year does tend to change you socially, and while I'm quite content with my own company, the prospect of being around so many people again did seem a tad daunting to me.

My nervousness was wiped away the moment I stepped into the front office of the school, and straight away I realised this was what I had been missing, the interaction with people. 

I know that I interact with people whenever I do my shopping etc, but that is different. This was interaction with genuine smiles and warmth, and it was just so humbling after not having seen these people for about 7 months. The brief discussion wasn't about anything to do with school or work, it was about each other and just focussing on the person.

Then when I went into the larger room where the farewell was being done it was just so great to catch up with so many of the people who I had worked with so closely over the  11 years I'd spent at that school.

When I chatted with each person, it struck me later that we didn't talk about school, as that was where our connection was, but we talked about each other. It was valuing the person, rather than just banging on about work.

People ARE important!!

When I made eye contact with different people, I was finding that I wasn't seeing them in their roles anymore, but rather as how I felt to see them again. I was very fortunate to have had pretty good relationships with just about everyone there, so there wasn't any awkwardness from thinking "Geez, I hope I don't run into that person again"

Last year at meetings I would generally see people as their role more than the person. This week I couldn't have given a stuff about what their role was anymore, I was just happy to see that person again, and with the quick chats I had with different people, none of the discussion was about school. 

It was about people.

The only thing that disappointed me about the visit was that I didn't get the chance to just even say a quick hello to so many others, especially when they had to leave to go back to their classrooms. The whole time I was there I was looking around at familiar faces and the first memories that were coming back were about what good people they were, and not what their job was. Any previous work hassles that may have occurred were forgotten as they were now totally irrelevant. It was all about how these people made me feel, as that is what always stays with me the most, more than what they may have done with me. I suppose there is a lesson there for all of us, in that it may not be what we do to others that counts, but how we make them feel.

People first.

Little wonder as I was leaving the building I was having a 'warm fuzzy' as I was just feeling so privileged to have been able to have spent just a short time with people who I probably didn't show enough appreciation to in recent years, but now I know how important it is to do so. The rest of my day I was in just the best place.

As I have alluded to in previous posts, once you start thinking more about one particular thing, even more similar experiences come to mind.

And here is a really obscure example that occurred more than 25 years ago when, in another life I was actually teaching Japanese!

Yep, I hear you now, "That's B.S.!!"

           Detaramane たらめ

Well it's true Readers, I did teach it it for 3 years. I'm not suggesting that any of the kids learnt anything, but at least I was up the front "teaching" it!!!

I can still get by with a smattering of it, but like most things, if you don't use it you lose it.

Anyway, I was with a group of travelling Japanese students and they showed me some photos of themselves at various landmarks around Australia. What struck me however was that while I could see all the people in the photos, the landmark or tourist attraction was usually obscured, or hardly seen at all.

When I questioned them about this they told me that they could always find a photo of these landmarks at any time. But what was more important to them was who was there with them at the time, and what stories they could tell from each photo and the people in it. They were more concerned about who was in the photo than where the photo was actually taken. This reinforces to me how much they value people more than material things.

This has stayed with me since and has influenced what photos I take, where and who with.

On various trips around Australia and overseas I have taken thousands of photos, and the ones that I look at the most or spend the most time looking at are the ones with family and friends in them. This is because they bring back the stories associated with each photo and other things that happened at that time.

For example

Lake Louise in Canada. Nearly the most beautiful place I have been to.

   The same day at the same place, but when I look at this photo it immediately brings back so many memories of that day, where we went, who we were with and so on. Just by having someone else in the photo makes it more meaningful. Even if it was just me, I doubt that the photo would have the same effect

My recent trip that included London. I've seen this bridge so many times, but practically had to force myself to take the photo, just to add to the collection from this trip. It didn't really add to the trip as I had nothing much to share about it. I was just walking near it, so thought I'd better take a photo. Who knows, you might be thinking that I just googled this shot!!

This photo was taken many years earlier and brings back so many more memories about what we did that day, what happened before and after the photo, and who took it.

Just by looking at it now I suddenly remember that it was just so windy that day. For the life of me, I can't remember what the weather was like in the previous photo, and that was only 10 weeks ago!!

While I'm talking about overseas trips, as I think back about the 5 weeks I spent overseas earlier this year, the strongest and most lasting memories come from my first week in NYC where I was seeing our son, his wife and the grandsons each day. We didn't do anything really dramatic each day, other than just enjoy time together. When I do look back at where we went (Central Park daily, Brooklyn Bridge etc) my lasting memories are what we spoke about, how we decided where and what to eat, how to engage the two boys etc. It was the people part that was important. I also had some time to myself where I did the obligatory tourist things, but the memories I'll take away from NYC are what I did with the people I was with.

Just to get this shot took about 8 tries as Henry was pulling faces!!

I guess this goes to show that when I flick back through l the photos I took on this trip, the ones that I look at the most are the ones including the people who I care about so much, as there are so many stories to tell about that photo. 

While all the other photos that I took around Poland, Switzerland, Germany and London are still good to remember things, they just don't seem to generate the same long lasting memories.

While I'm eternally grateful for the fortunate experiences I get to have, the ones that I tend to value the most are the ones that I've shared with people.

So Readers, I'm not suggesting that you have to try and save up for an overseas trip to experience something similar to this. That has just been part of my luck to be able to do it.

It can start at home, just like mine did a few days ago where I went out to my old school for a farewell. Or it could be when you are struggling to put your bins out and you get sprung by your neighbour who gives you a well intentioned telling off for not asking them to do it. (Bless you Katie!!)

With my current situation where I'm slightly incapacitated I have been overwhelmed by the amount of help and support that has come my way from so many for the most simplest of tasks. I probably dwell on it too much, but it doesn't hide the fact that I just continually see the goodness in people and must remember to be grateful for it.

The events of this week, and the way that it has made me think more about the need to be more appreciative of other people for even just the tiniest of things hasn't been a revelation, but more of a kick in the bum to just stop and think about doing it more often.

It's something very easy to forget and neglect, but who knows how much your simple gesture might just change that person's day.

A bit of a different angle today, but I just felt the need to write about it.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁