If Life was like airline travel...

 If Life was like airline travel...

Hi Readers,

Two posts in two days! Either the author is:

1. Organised

2. On the ball

3. Motivated

4. Enjoying holidays

5. All of the above

Well, I can tell you I'm a bit of each of these. So what prompted this post ?

Well, two things. 

While I was away in Qld for Christmas I spent a bit of time each day going for long walks along the beach (Yeah, we've all heard that line before!!) but I was actually doing it. Alone  though, so don't read anything into it. I also had the radio on in my earbuds and listened to many, many stories. One of them this week dealt with a new report that described the worst things that airline passengers do before, during and after flights. We've probably heard them all before, but as I was travelling on a plane yesterday I decided to keep a subtle eye out and see if these things were actually happening on my flight.

It was nearly like a game of "Flight Bingo", and I was just ticking off each behaviour as I saw it.

Hopefully I wasn't doing any of them myself !!

Different reports focus on different things, but these are the ten that came out on this report. What I'm trying to do via this post however, is to try and identify when and where we might continue our 'flight habits' into real life, and what are the sort of insignificant things that bug us to the point that we make our "ants become elephants" (See previous post where I expand on this)

There is nothing meaningful or philosophical about this post Readers, it's just a waffle as I bang on about the pathetic things that bug me, and hopefully you might agree with some, or it might prompt you to think about the pithy little things that really tick you off !

So here we go....

Somehow etiquette flies out the window for air travel. The boredom of a long flight gives people licence to do just about anything to pass the time. But there are unwritten rules everyone should know to be a good passenger. Here are 10 plane etiquette rules that are non-negotiable. 

1. 

Middle seat gets dibs on the arm rests

The middle seat sucks. You’re constantly worried about encroaching on your neighbour’s side, fearing you’ll fall asleep and drop your head on their shoulder. For this reason, the person in the middle seat gets dibs on the arm rests.

As I flew home yesterday, I took my window seat and an older lady took the aisle seat. The middle seat remained ominously empty as passenger after passenger walked past row 6. Then the doors were closed. We just looked at each other as if we had just won the lottery. The middle seat was empty and we just piled our belongings on it and had a short polite chat. I left it at that . (More about that later)

So what are the "middle seat " moments in our lives?

Ever had that meeting that you are dreading and it gets cancelled at the last minute?

Or have you been sweating about initiating a 'difficult discussion' and the person involved does it instead and saves you from doing it?

Or, as a teacher, that child who has been driving you nuts lately goes on an extended holiday with their family?

I'm sure that we all have these moments, and different occupations present their own scenarios that mean so much more to those in that occupation.

2.

Stand up to let your neighbours through

Don’t do the half lift, awkward lean back. Stand up, unbuckle your seatbelt and wait in the aisle till your neighbour returns. It’s a good excuse to stretch your legs at the same time. Win-win.

Well, as difficult as this can be at times, traversing from the middle seats in the centre aisle can be a real pain, but remaining standing in the aisle is something I don't do. If I see the other passengers spending copious time up near the exit aisle doing stretches and calisthenics then my patience might be tested.

In real life? Driving in your car and you let someone cut into the traffic or you slow down to let them enter your lane. Hopefully they'll acknowledge your gesture with a simple wave or a thumbs up. Who, like me gets peeved when you let them in and they give you nothing ? I don't expect it, but it's still nice to get it.

3.

Keep your belongings to yourself

I still remember trying to push someone else’s shoes back onto ‘their side’. Yes, there’s not a lot of room, but manage your belongings and keep them in the pocket of your seat, under the seat in front of you or stowed overhead.

When someone's belongings actually encroach your space, do you dare to touch them or shuffle them back to where they came from?

In real life - Who has that colleague whose 'stuff' just always finds its way into your space? Or, does that colleague just not look after their stuff and they are always pinching yours? It's not just keeping control of your things, it's also making sure you provide your own things.

4.

Say hello, but read the room

It’s always nice to greet your neighbour, but gauge whether they want a conversation. Earphones generally mean they have zero interest in chatting.

Yep, I totally agree with this one. I tend not to risk becoming involved with discussions with fellow passengers just in case it goes pear shaped, and it becomes too difficult to extricate oneself from the discussion. It sounds totally weird when you are rubbing shoulders with someone for a few hours and you don't say a word to them! I go with the headphones trick every time, and have been known to put in headphones that are totally flat just to avoid having discussions with those in my section.

5.

Don't recline on short haul flights

Unless you want your neighbour’s coffee or meal to end up in their lap, be mindful and resist reclining on short haul flights. I know it’s tricky when the person in front of you reclines; it often creates a domino effect with everyone then reclining to create more space. But think about that person in the last row who can’t recline at all. It’s 6 hours or less, suck it up.

Well Readers, this makes my blood boil. I'm not tall by any standards, but my knees still generally touch the seat in front of me. Imagine my rage last week when the person in front of me reclined their seat while we were still boarding !!! It was only a 2 hour flight and this raises the question - How long must a flight be to justify reclining the seat? I don't begrudge them their right to recline, but before the plane has even taken off !!! Let's just say my knees 'accidentally' banged into the seat many times on that flight!!!

6.

It’s not a nail salon

Why this needs to be reminded is beyond me, but here we are. Just because you’re bored and forgot to do your nails or toenails at home does not mean you can cut them on the plane. No one wants to receive a bit of nail shrapnel in their face or worse, in their food.

I sat next to someone on a flight who continually chewed their fingernails, then flicked the 'bits' in any direction that meant they didn't land on the person they belonged to. It was nearly snowing in our section !!!!

In real life? How do you go with those people who are totally comfortable with doing things in meetings or work situations that clearly should or could have been done earlier? Having a cup of tea or coffee is fine, but finishing their breakfast ? Makeup or shaving? Just doing personal stuff in a public setting really bugs me, because why do we need to be made aware of nitty gritty things that more often than not make us feel queasy at the best of times. I'm not against things that are natural, just things that are being done due to not being organised.

7. 

Odourless food only

The rules of the office microwave apply on the plane. No tuna, no pungent curries, no oozy cheeses – save anything smelly for your home.

Yep. We've all got one of these.

Ever had to use the microwave after someone has zapped a very aromatic fish dish? Or have you been in a meeting where someone continues to eat a really strongly odoured food? Often they might apologise for it, but if you need to apologise, why bring it in the first place? But for those who bring meals that smell utterly sensational...keep it up!!

As I write this on my porch, I can smell the corned silverside in my slow cooker wafting out to me. I need to be aware however that although it smells divine to me, it might be the aroma that makes others just want to vomit !!

8. 

Have all your stuff ready before the plane lands

We all want to desperately get off the plane and you have hours to get your stuff together. Don’t hold everyone up and decide to pack your belongings after the plane lands. Get it done before the descent.

I felt this yesterday as our flight landed. Here I was, in row 6 and looking forward to getting off quickly as I then had a 2 hour drive facing me. I had the window seat, the middle seat was empty and a lady had the aisle seat. Imagine my dismay when she glares me down and says " I'm not going to fight to get in the aisle, I'm waiting until everyone gets off before I'm moving!!"

Here's me, everything in my hands ready to get up and off the plane, only to find that sitting near the front was proving to be just as useful as sitting in the very last seat 😫

Some of the other passengers in the aisle even waited and asked if she would like to get her things. Nup. She was not moving. 

And neither was I !!!

9.

Wait your turn to exit the plane

Don’t you love it when people from the last row jump up and try to get as far ahead as possible? It then becomes impossible to get your bag from above because everyone is blocking the aisle. Just wait till your aisle is up to grab your bag and exit.

I think I covered this in the previous paragraph.

10.

Just be nice

We’re all in the same confined space together so let’s just all get along. Be respectful of the crew and fellow passengers, and we’ll all have a more pleasant journey.

This is the one that resonated with me most, and one that I'm always conscious of doing. The radio segment suggested just doing something so basic as smiling at the cabin crew as you enter and acknowledging them, and doing the same as you leave the plane. I always find that they are so appreciative of such a simple gesture, and it always makes me feel good at the same time.

In real life ? Do likewise for the people that you encounter in shops, at work etc. Any research shows how well it makes us feel when we do things like this. It costs nothing and everyone wins.

So Readers, after reading this report on the things that bug airline passengers, it got me thinking about the pathetic things that bug me in real life, when in reality they are so insignificant to the point of being irrelevant

Some of you will be considering me a total nut case, but then again, think of some of your own foibles that I or others might have a little chortle about !

I'd love to hear some of them, you can do this anonymously via the comments tab at the bottom of this post.

Be brave, take up the challenge!!

Importantly, do we let these ants become our elephants and dictate our lives, and do we, or are we endeavouring to reduce the impact that they have on how we go about how we live?

Without going into detail, here's just a random selection of some of my own 'hassles'!

You can take me to task on any of them, disagree with me, whatever. They just bug me !

* At the supermarket and at the checkout. The checkout chick/chap is putting the items through and the customer is on the phone either taking a call or just scrolling. For goodness sake, give the worker some acknowledgement or respect!

* At the supermarket. Again. I'm in the "10 items or less" express aisle, and someone ahead of me has a zillion items in their trolley and says feebly to the checkout person "Oh sorry".

Yeah, right !!!

* Not getting 'the wave' when letting someone enter traffic. 

* At the supermarket. Still. People who don't park in their spot properly and block you in, leaving you to learn how to be a contortionist as you try to get out of your car.

* People who park in Handicapped parking spaces just to get a closer park. GRRRR!!!!

* At the servo. People who don't go to the bowser at the front, and just go to the bowser closest, leaving you to wait even longer.

* People who stand in the middle of the footpath having conversations.

* At the supermarket. Again. People who overly fondle the fruit and veges. Okay, I'll be blunt. If you pick it up, you take it !!!

* Driving on the freeway. Cruise control is on. You go to overtake a car and suddenly they need to go faster. You pull back, they slow down. You go to overtake again...you get it.

I could go on and on, and after looking back at the things that tick me off, I realise that in the big scheme of things, they don't really matter, and they shouldn't change my behaviour, but unfortunately in many cases, they do. It's pretty embarrassing to look back and see the things that make me behave differently, and then realise how pithy they really are !!

How do you go?

Are you as bad as me?

As I said, this is just a waffle post, not much literary strength associated with it at all, just like most of my posts.

 Please feel free to add some of the things that tick you off, it might give us all a collective laugh, or highlight the fact that we share so many of the same things.

Or that you might have a particularly quirky one that makes us laugh, pity, think about or rage about as well!!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁