That's It !!

Hi Readers,

Well believe it or not I have actually got off my lazy backside and commenced a new post! My last one was back in July I think, and I was silently disgusted with myself when I saw that.

I never like to try and make excuses, so I wont. In the meantime I have seen that the hits on this blog have continued to increase in that time, so I feel I owe it to those readers to contribute some meaningless fluff and dribble!!

A few months ago I made the decision that this year was going to be my last, and once I made that decision I just couldn't bear for others to think that I was checking out early, so any spare time was devoted to school work. Hence the lack of posts, and in some way a desperately feeble excuse!!!

So, retirement!! 

It has actually been quite a stressful decision to make, something that many find hard to understand when I tell them. Consider this Readers, what are the biggest decisions you make in your lives?

New jobs?

Buying a house?

Having kids?

Moving to a new town?

Losing family members?

I've done them all, and am not looking for any sympathy, but this is probably the last BIG decision that I will need to make in my life, so I have to get it right. And before too long our three sons will be making decisions for me as my brain starts to deteriorate beyond repair. ( I know some of you are thinking, "Hmmm, hasn't that happened already??")

Yesterday was my last day with the kids, and I have been spoilt with the absolute BEST bunch of kids to finish my career with. I will admit I busted my boiler to get them where they were at the end of the year, but gee I had a blast with them. It was so good that at times recently I was questioning my decision to retire. 

Could I go around one more time?

But then I realised that I wouldn't be with such a great crew ( or maybe I could have done the same with the next group?) and that I was looking at the next year through rose coloured glasses.

People have often asked me, "How did you know it was time?"

For a great part of this year, I'd get half way through Sunday and then a feeling of woe would descend upon me. I started to feel really bad about the weekend ending, as it meant that I had to work the next day. And then while driving to school on the Monday I'd be thinking "Please just get me to Friday!!"

And this went on every week. I'd love my Saturdays, but Sunday meant that Monday was the next day. 

Groundhog Day !!!

And this was how I was feeling!

Readers, can I be very clear here, there was nothing wrong with where I worked or who I worked with as they were the godsend to my worries!!!

It was just the whole idea of the work, I'd just reached a stage where I felt I wasn't giving my best, and that wasn't fair to my kids.

Further to this, in recent years I'd lost a sister, a brother and my wife who all had retirement plans that were cut short by their untimely passing.

I just didn't want to retire sick, even though my body is falling apart faster than the Victorian economy!!

There are so many things that Jen and I were planning to do at the end of this year, as that was when we were both planning to retire. I've been so lucky that we travelled as much as we did before she got sick, because we created so many lasting memories that I will forever cherish.

As I said to my colleagues today, rather than feeling excited about retiring, I'm somewhat flat as I keep thinking about what was planned together, but now I have to adjust that to just myself.

So what is on the cards for me?

Firstly, many have been asking me what I'll do first? Well, firstly I want my Sundays back!!

And then in late January when for 38 years I've been thinking "H'mmm, time to get ready for school again" I'll be a free agent!!!

I bought the caravan that Jen and I had planned to do, so now I'll go and do the trips that we were looking forward to, but there will be an empty seat beside me. Someone said I should name the caravan after Jen, I like that idea.

So, after finishing at school today, I hooked up the van and have finally taken it on it's first trip. It has taken this long as soon after I bought it someone ran up the arse of my new Pajero, meaning I couldn't tow it. Then I crashed my bike at the cemetery and busted my shoulder, meaning I wasn't physically able to go camping. I got the Pajero back two weeks ago, and tonight I am camping by the banks of the Goulburn River at Nagambie, testing everything out before a bigger trip in the coming week.

Retirement Day 1

My first trip with the van

Have to keep busy if I'm travelling, so the new kayak got a workout this afternoon on the Goulburn River

A stinking hot afternoon on the river, so a few cold beers was just the remedy!

 Well Readers, that's it for today, hopefully I can now devote more time to doing something I love so much, this blog.

As I'm finishing this post I am smelling glorious cooking from the sites around me, and am embarrassed with the rubbish that I'm planning to cook for myself

Time to lift my game!!

I've got no excuses to not write posts now, so who knows what they might be about?

Please feel free to add comments, there's a link at the bottom of each post.

Until my next post ( and it won't take 5 months!!)

Cheers 😁

 From the Mouths of Kids...

Well Readers,

After starting the year in sort of good form by getting a number of posts out, interspersed by a week or two of nothing, I've since been in hibernation by the looks of things! No point with excuses, there are none worth trying!!

It's not like I haven't wanted to post, as I love doing it when I get the urge. It's just that although I've often thought "Yeah, I could write about that", I just haven't gotten around to it!!

So today while I'm having to cool my jets at a shopping centre in Bendigo for a few hours while I wait for a car to get detailed for selling, what better opportunity to get started on a new post. Speaking of shopping centres, this is definitely not the place where I'd choose to be hanging out. I have no choice as it's at the opposite end of town to where I live, so I just have to suck it up. Judging by the odd glances I'm getting at the coffee shop I'm sitting at, not many people must come and sit at these tables and do things on their laptops!

Before I get on to the focus of this post, a fair bit has happened since my last rambling from April.

On the first day of the school term I was driving to school and was just feeling like absolute crap  (Sorry for the use of that term, but it is the most accurate). I was honestly thinking of turning around, going home and quitting on the spot. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Once I got to school I started to pick up a bit (must have been the banter with my colleague, more about that later), but still felt like a 2 out of 10.

During the day my colleague came in to see me about something when the kids were out for recess, and he saw that I was doing a COVID test. He asked if I thought I was positive, which I wasn't. As I still haven't had COVID, I was wondering if this was what was wrong with me, as I didn't know what it would feel like. So I soldiered through the rest of the day and hit the sack as soon as I got home.

The next day was the same, I just couldn't figure out why on earth I was just feeling so rotten. More COVID tests, still all clear. Home that night and straight to bed, too sick to even cook. It was nearly as bad as a "Man Cold" !!!

Well, around 10.00 that night Armageddon hit with all its fury!!

I woke with massive stomach pains, vomiting and diarrhoea and anything else that wanted to make me feel awful. This continued until around 10.00 the next morning, by which time I had called in sick.

By the time I found myself crawling across the floor with my head in a bucket and in so much pain I thought to myself "Something isn't quite right here", so I dragged myself up to the emergency department at the local hospital.

To cut a long story short, I spent two days in The Base Hospital before being transferred on the third day to St John of God where I had my appendix removed. That explained the belly ache!! Then it was two weeks off work to start the term, hardly the start I was looking for. 

Following this little episode I had a few nervous weeks of waiting as the surgeon said that he was "very concerned" about some tissue samples that he was sending away for analysis. Thankfully after three weeks they came back all clear, but after recent history in my family I was starting to get a tad worried. All good now!

It's a bit of a running joke in my family, and just about everywhere else now that I can't stay out of hospital, or not have something going wrong with my body. Admittedly, many of them are my own fault, but the appendix??? I did nothing to cause that one!!! 

Now to the point of this post.

Last Friday I was out on the oval with my class and three other Gr 5 classes having some sport and a general tear about the place on the last day of school before our two week holiday break.

We ran the kids through some races in preparation for our upcoming athletic sports, and after all the kids were finished, a few started chanting "Teacher's Race, Teacher's Race" until it reached such a crescendo that we couldn't dodge it. Except me.

My other 3 colleagues dutifully lined up, but I didn't, as I can't even hobble let alone run after my ankle surgery from 18 months ago. Sadly, running is something I can't do again.

Anyway, as more and more kids were calling out my name to join in, my refusals were falling upon deaf ears as most of them were probably unaware of my situation. What made it worse was the fact that I take so many of the sporting activities in our weekly session, even though I can only join in very meekly. They probably assumed that I could run.

What this made me realise is that the kids will often come out with things that are so mindless or so insignificant, yet they can still have a massive impact. I know that I can't run, or join in like I used to, but just hearing them calling on me to join the race only emphasised this even more. They weren't doing it to embarrass me or force me into it, they genuinely wanted all 4 of their teachers to have a fun race together. The other three did, and boy did I wish that I could be a part of it. Well, not after the two male teachers acted like total flogs in the race!!! Well won Amy👌

Just some innocent voices that really made me realise my own mortality!!!!!

And while on the subject of my bung leg, a couple of kids in one of the younger grades came up to me on the yard last week and innocently asked ,"Mr K, how come you walk funny?"

They weren't being rude, it was just the natural curiosity coming from some kids who were genuinely interested as to why I often "walk funny".

I definitely have good and bad days with my leg, some days I'm able to walk fairly normally while at other times I limp considerably, especially around hills and steps, or after I have been sitting down. This is where they have obviously paid attention to my "funny walk". What they don't notice however is that every step feels like an electric shock is going through my foot due to the nerve damage. I still don't know if it will stay this way or gradually fade away, I'll find out more in a few weeks. In the meantime I'll just take it one step at a time (pun intended!!)

Just another example of a purely polite and inquisitive question from some kids who had noticed something and took it upon themselves to find out the answer. 

Was I offended? Of course not. I was pleased that hat they felt hat they could ask me.

At least hey weren't as "rude" as my class last year who would jokingly hide or put out of reach my crutches, walking stick or mobility frame!!

Enough of me banging on about my limbs.

While I was thinking about this post, it made me realise how deliberate so many of my kids are in greeting me each morning, or saying goodbye at the end of the day.

I'm not talking about a flippant "Hi Mr K" or ""Bye Mr K", but genuine and sincere interactions where they actually came up to me and say it. If the morning has been a rush (or when I may have come to school thinking I have COVID!!) just to experience an interaction as simple as this is enough to make one alter their mindset and focus on the effort that child has made, rather than on what piddly other thing I may have been fussing about. Like school work!! 

There are 3 or 4 in particular who hang about at the end of the day while most rush out just to say "Thanks Mr K" and it always warms my heart that they take the time to do this. If the day has been crappy, it's just the best tonic to finish up on and make me look forward to the next day. To go and tell another teacher about this when it happens also magnifies the impact that it has and it's something that I just appreciate so much. I don't ask them to do it, or encourage them to do it, it just happens naturally from them.

It does however make me realise that I need to reciprocate it and make them feel as special as it makes me feel when they do it to me.

Another recent comment I heard from a child came from our nearly 4 year old Grandson, Henry. Totally innocent, but clearly stemming from the fact that he is starting to notice more things about me.

I did mention a similar time where this happened around a year ago when he was looking at some photos, but when this happened last week I could tell that he has definitely noticed some things and maybe has been thinking about them.

We were having one of our regular Facetime calls and discussing my upcoming visit to them later this week. Out of the blue he came out with "Where's Gran?", clearly in reference to Jen. Before I could answer, his dad quickly stepped in by saying "Remember Henry, we have talked about this many times", and he was happy with that and started to talk about other things. Talk about saving me from an awkward response, thanks Sam!!

But it did reinforce that out of the mouths of kids can come the most innocent things in their own mind, that can be mind blowing for us as adults as we try to explain it back to them. As he gets older I need to realise that he will question many things in his own innocent way and that I will have to be prepared for the unexpected!!

And that's okay !!!

My procrastinating has continued and it's two days since I started this post, so while I'm waiting to board a flight I thought I'd finish it. And how perfect is the timing!

As I sit here having a coffee and a toastie (I tried the Maccas toastie and it was magnificent!!) I can't help but hear the excited chatter around me.

There is a family sitting behind me with 3 young kids, around the ages from 5 -12 and from what I can gather this is their first trip away to the Gold Coast in Queensland. I'm trying not to eavesdrop, but the level of excitement is too hard to ignore.

Overseas readers, you'll need to know that this is a very popular holiday spot for thousands of people from my state of Victoria who flock there at this time of the year to escape the Winter. It is also the venue of so many theme parks.

After one asks, "Will we go to Sea World?", another asks "What about Movie World?" and can we go to the beach EVERY day?". As mum and dad say yes to each question and show websites to the kids, they just keep getting even more excited.

This really took me back to the times when Jen and I took our 3 boys on numerous trips to the Gold Coast back in the day and experienced exactly what this family was going through right now. Amazing how so many memories were triggered just by hearing some excited chatter from a few kids. If they are on the same flight as me and sitting near me, I may as well just suck it up, as it was maybe 20 years ago that our family was subjecting other travellers to the same thing!!

Another flippant comment from a group of kids at school last week also resonated with me.

I have a colleague in my Unit who is often teasing me good naturedly, and he gets it back just as quickly from me. Or even more!! It is all just good banter that we don't wish to offend the other with, or take offence.

Often we say things in front of the kids that are totally acceptable and they get a giggle from it.

Anyway, last week after one such round of comments, a group of kids were laughing about it with me when this teacher left the room. Then all of a sudden they started with "We know you tease each other a lot, but we know that you are really good friends"

How perceptive were they? And they nailed it!

This person cops it mercilessly from me every day, but whenever I need to confide or seek support, he's my go to as I have the utmost respect for him. And the kids obviously notice this.

So what this has taught me is that the kids are taking notice of us even when we think they aren't. So I'd better be extremely careful!!!

On another topic not related to this, we received some great news recently in regards to my older brother who was diagnosed with leukaemia late last year. A few months ago I was selected as the donor for his bone marrow transplant, and the latest news from two weeks ago is that it has been very successful and that he is well on the road to recovery.

It has been a very emotional time for me as we weren't able to achieve the same result for Jen, but I am so happy that he is on the mend. Well done Tony 🙏

Well I better get this posted before it takes me another two days to get my act together.

As adults, let's just be aware of what kids do come out with from time to time, as it could be something that just makes us laugh, or could also be something that really makes us change our lives a little.

Even with my poor hearing I'll be staying vigilant from now on!!

Until my next post,

Cheers

😀

 Topping Up

Hi Readers,

This is a bit of a nothing post really, but my thoughts were jolted on Thursday when I was housebound and needed to do something to keep myself occupied.

Have you ever started something, then added a bit of your own flavour to the point where you just keep adding extra and then just lose control?

It has been a habit of mine for years, something that my wife and sons often said was a pretty bad habit due to the consequences that often eventuated.

Let me explain.

I'd often start a job, usually a small job, but eventually it would become a huge job. I'd keep "Topping Up" as I tend to describe it. I'd find more things to add to it, or make it bigger than it necessarily needed to be.

At one of the houses we owned a few years back, if i noticed that the small patch of grass around the clothesline needed a mow, I'd quickly get the mower out of the shed nearby and get the job done. Ten minutes at most. But as I'd be putting the mower away I'd notice the rest of the yard around the other side of the house (about the size of 3 tennis courts) and wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to mow that as well. And trim. And possibly rake and weed. Then create a bonfire. See how I just kept topping up and usually this would take 3-4 hours.

At our last house Jen started painting some trims and mentioned that we should perhaps paint the room, and could I help. No worries, but once I started I just couldn't stop. I spent the rest of that day painting that room, then giving it another coat, and as things turned out, spent the rest of the week from early morning until late at night painting every room in the house non-stop for days. Even when Jen would suggest taking a break I'd be so pig headed that I'd just barrel on because I "Just wanted to get it done and dusted"

That's where I first started to get problems with tendons in my hands and elbows, just by overdoing things. Too much topping up!! My own fault for sure.

Meanwhile, Jen and the boys would just be rolling their eyes at my stubbornness and refusal to just do things patiently rather than so impulsively!!

This also happens when I cook, as I have this amazing ability to not stick to a recipe! Jen would always put one in front of me if it involved anything new that I was thinking of cooking, and that would potentially be put in front of her. She was a master of wandering past and casting a quizzical eye over proceedings, and adding her own suggestions. My reply ? "I'm following your &^%$%^& recipe!!"

But when it came to 'scrap nights', where everyone basically made something for themselves, my go to was always "Pasta Surprise"

I just love pasta, and anything and everything would go into it. If it wasn't nailed down, wasn't toxic or rancid, it had potential. And, as always, there was the standard tin of baked beans, chickpeas, or both. The rest of the family were always offered some of what I created, but for some reason I never did get to share with them!! And the joys of grabbing everything from the spice rack!! I treated that baby like it was my own chemistry set. To this day I still create Pasta Surprise, and as recently as last weekend two of our sons were joking about it with me while I was visiting them in Qld.

Another example of my "Topping Up" has probably returned to bite me in the bum.

From the age of around 15 I always liked to go for a run. Even when I was playing footy I'd go for runs on non training days. I just loved it.

This continued well after I stopped playing footy, and I was fortunate enough to run a number of marathons. For those who know me, I do not have a runner's body, but that didn't stop me. It's only now that the effects of all those hours on the road have come to haunt me, to the point where I can no longer run, and at times just walking can be challenging. My fault, and I'm not complaining. I clearly remember some days when I might have only 30-40 mins to spare for a run and I wouldn't go, as it wouldn't give me a long enough run. Today I'd just kill to go for a 20 minute run!!! 

So what happened on Thursday that prompted this post?

After two days laying on a hospital bed last week with little food, then a day and a bit of fasting this week for a medical procedure I was going to have, my thoughts were continually turning to food, and what I was looking forward to most.

I started to think of the foods that we would regularly have but that I haven't cooked since ending up on my own again. Usually I just considered them too laborious to make as there would be too much effort required and they were too much for one person.

For example, roasts.

I know that sounds weird, but I hadn't cooked a roast since I lost Jen, even though I love them just as much as anyone else.

The closest I have got is buying the occasional "Batchelor's Handbag" from the supermarket which is fine, but they just don't cut it as a 'home cooked roast'

Well Readers, Thursday was going to be my big day. I'd pumped myself up to cook a lamb roast, dutifully headed down to my nearby supermarket only to find that they had not one lamb roast for sale. Only a sign saying "Temporarily Unavailable"

What? Had I missed something in the news? Were there no sheep left in Australia? Didn't they know I'd been willing myself for this very moment for nearly a week?

Not to be outdone, I perused other samples of what I could classify as a roast, and settled on a small pork roast.

My limited roasting skills meant that I had a vague idea that to get crackling, the outside needs a bit of oil and salt. No problem. That little sucker had more salt on the outside than what is in the Dead Sea!! And didn't that crackle taste so good!!!! And didn't I feel sick after polishing most of it off 🤢 🥴 Too much topping Up on my part!!

Anyway, the rest of the roast was a sizzling success, as were the spuds that I roasted in the air fryer. And this is where I "Topped Up" again, assaulting the spuds with just about every spice from the spice draw!! (I've moved on from a spice rack to a spice draw - more topping up !!)

Now the real point of this post.

I made a slice.

My first one I think. 

I knew I was going to have visitors later in the week, so I went ballistic and industrial!!

I like eating slices, so I guessed that qualified me to make one, but my problem was that I was putting together my favourite parts of all the slices that I liked. 

Some non-negotiables:

• chunks of teddy bear biscuits
• maltesers
• peppermint slice
• a biscuit base
• a chocolate top

So, after looking at a few recipes for the different parts of my "Slice Surprise" and assembling the 'ingredients', off I went.

Lesson #1 that I learnt - Hold the little tubey thing on the blender when mincing biscuits for the base. Biscuit crumbs do escape easily!!

The next hour was like a massive science experiment that would have resembled the building of the atom bomb.

I worked out the biscuit base just by adding melted butter and crumbs together just like one does when mixing concrete powder and water - just find the right consistency.

Base done. I think.

Now for the Rolls Royce of the slice, the actual guts of the whole thing.

I googled how to melt the chocolate, and that sort of worked - I did the pot over hot water thing on the stove. How the water ended up everywhere over the stove top still puzzles me. I had a bowl full of chopped up maltesers and peppermint crisp, and big chunks of teddy bear bickies.

Just throw it all together and add the chocolate and the job is done. Or so I thought.

It was still too dry, what was missing??

I did see condensed milk mentioned when I was browsing online, so I just kept adding it until I had the right consistency, just like Rapid Set concrete!! Was two tins too much??

Lesson #2  Never under estimate the power, relevance and importance of a measuring cup. And a recipe.

Anyway, after paving the bickie base with my chocolate asphalt it was into the fridge and now just to wait for it to set.

There was a fair bit of "Topping Up" throughout this and I was amazed with my restraint. Not one baked bean or chickpea to be seen!!

Later that afternoon I had to quickly visit two close friends, so I carved a slice out of the tray for each of them (I couldn't cut little pieces as it hadn't set yet) and delivered them a pizza slice sized piece each of my slice, with a warning that it was my first one and would probably make a better door stop.

Much to my surprise, I got messages before I got home that they had munched into it straight away and that they were still breathing and functioning normally.

Success!!

The next day, Jen's Dad, brother and nephew visited and they too wolfed it down, and took as much as they could back to Melbourne.

And when our son Lachie came to visit last night, he too devoured it and has so far lived to tell the tale.

There's my contribution towards cholesterol, tooth decay and diabetes for the next few years!!

Enough of the shenanigans Readers, what I'm trying to say is that we can sometimes risk everything by simply trying too hard. Topping up too much.

I could have killed my slice by simply overdoing what I was putting in to make it "better"

I know I've killed a few 'Pasta Surprises' in the same way, and also myself when trying to eat the blessed things out of just being stubborn and convincing myself that they WILL be good. Eventually.

Lesson #3 - Never under estimate the potential of baked beans or chick peas!!

I've just got off the phone with one of my closest friends who rang (as he regularly does) just to check in on me. We have been mates since we were about 10 and every time we talk he leaves me with someone to ponder, and today was no exception.

He ran into an old school mate recently who is from a well known Melbourne legal family known for their philanthropy.

My friend said that this family have a motto of "Give While You're Alive", and the two of us had a great chat about this as we believe in it so much too.

I was thinking how this could relate to this post, and I can see quite a number of ways that it is relevant.

I'd assume that most of you Readers would be regular contributors to various charities or causes. For me it is the Leukaemia Foundation, Peter Mac Hospital and the Royal Melbourne Hospital. Maybe one day I might just win the RMH Lottery and snag a new house!! Really, that's the last thing on my mind when I buy their tickets as I just know how much that money helps others, having experienced it first hand.🙏

I was also taught by Jen to always support the sellers of The Big Issue when we are in Melbourne as these are people who are really doing the best to help themselves.

Rather than just hand over some money for the magazine and walk away, she encouraged me to stop and chat with them for a while, something that I have always appreciated. This in a way "topped up" the donation and adds more to the interaction for both of us I hope.

I'm yet to find any of these people reluctant to engage in a chat, if anything, it is more the opposite. So many people just dismiss and ignore them, just as I had always done, and I am forever grateful for the great discussions I have had over the years with many of these sellers, and the way that they respond so happily when someone gives them some time.

Similar causes could also benefit from a 'top up' from time to time, and I'm embarrassed to say that often I need to slap myself for not doing it more regularly. For example, driving through town and the Salvo's or Fire Services, SES, Ambulances or whoever are collecting at the traffic lights. There's always a few coins in the console, so a token gesture is made. Probably not enough to make a difference, but also an amount that doesn't affect me at all. On these days, could I perhaps be better prepared and organise to have some cash in the car so that I can make a more respectful donation that I can easily afford? Or keep a better amount in the console just so that I'm prepared for these collectors at random. Time to top up the console!!

I hear you saying "We don't use cash anymore", and to a point I agree. I carry a few notes with me all the time and I think they'll still be in my wallet at the turn of this century, as I just don't use them. Is it time to give them to my next worthy cause? Perhaps.

Just one caveat here though Readers. Sometimes when stopped at the lights here in Bendigo on a weekend there are regularly collectors gathering money for a variety of causes, some well known, others so obscure. Most wear a vest advertising their cause, and on a number of occasions I've been left wondering "What on earth is that cause" or it might be an organisation or cause that I don't support. (eg On one occasion it was for a political party, a cause I don't donate to. Another time it was for an anti-Mosque group, another time for one of those redneck socialist groups)

Just because they are collecting does not necessarily mean we are obliged to donate, especially if there are conflicting issues that we may have with that cause.

Anyway Readers, a bit of a ramble as always, but a time for you to think about the times that you "Top up", either generously, or, like me, stupidly and recklessly!!

Would love to hear about some of your own examples, especially in the kitchen ! Just hit the comments tab below to become instantly famous anonymously .

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Showing Up

Hi Readers,

Well it has been quite a while between posts, so just scroll through previous posts and pick any one of the many excuses I've tried to bluff you with previously as to why this is the case!!!

This will be a short post as I'm waiting to board a flight and I want to finish it before we take off.

The main reason is that I've been reading an amazing book, and I wanted to finish it before I began this post as each night when I read a few pages it just gave me so much o think about. The book?

I know that I have banged on about this book before, but it is seriously one of the best I've read lately. There was always the temptation to read huge swathes each night, but I made it my mission to only read a few pages each session as he always left me inspired by what he was saying. It also made me look forward to the last 15 minutes of each day as I knew I'd be reading some of it. What a perfect way to end a crappy day, but also a great way to end a great day. Win Win !!

Nedd basically talks about what he terms "Showing Up", meaning that when we are able to do something we don't wimp out and take the easier path. Sure things might be harder, but it is in the DOING that we become better versions of ourselves.

 And it was in the final pages of his book that he summed up most of what his book was all about (and also why he ran across Australia!!)

"Try to break records by all means, knowing that in going for them you might come up short. But he truth is, records are secondary to the doing. Life is about showing up and going hard, not for recognition, or reward but because the striving and the discipline- and, yes, the suffering- make you a better person. When an enticing opportunity presents itself, don't hesitate. There is never a right time to start, so dive in. You take something away from every experience.

Even if you don't win, you learn.

Some of you might have just read this excerpt from his book and thought "So What?"

That's okay, because one needs the context of the entire book to fully appreciate all that he went through, and the reasons behind it. But for me, it crystallises many of the things we choose to do in life, either by choice or necessity.

As most of you would know, my wife passed away nearly two years ago from complications resulting from the leukaemia that she had fought for 10 months or so.

Fast forward to late last year and my older brother Tony received the same diagnosis out of the blue. Straight into hospital, chemo and lots of testing. Pretty soon they were searching for donors for his stem cell transplant, and after 5 of his siblings got tested it was decided that I would be his donor.

At first I was totally fine with this, no worries at all. It was only after I had so many people questioning me as to whether or not I'd be up to it after losing Jen so recently to the same illness. Even the doctors questioned me when they found out what had happened in the recent years, but I was able to assure them I was fine, and if anything, I was even more determined to try and help someone out.

Time to show up.

With lots of people asking about my ability to do this, it did start to give me thoughts of self doubt, but the one thing that always switched my thinking was "He'd do exactly the same thing for me".

This became the "enticing opportunity" that Jedd talks about, a moment in our lives where we can really step up and do something out of our comfort zone that could really help someone else, and at the same time make us a better person.

If anything, the past few weeks where I have been down to see him in hospital and prepare for the transplant only highlighted how lucky and privileged I am compared to others and the cards that they have been dealt.

For example, in the week before the transplant a nurse was showing me around the ward at The Alfred Hospital in Melbourne, and she told me about a ten year old girl who was going to do the same as I was going to do, except in this case she was donating to save her father.

WOW. Talk about being hit with a perspective pill!!!

That girl was showing up in a huge way, and if all goes well for them, what a story to tell!!

Readers, not for a moment am I suggesting that I wouldn't want to be a donor for Tony, exactly the opposite. What has challenged me the most is that this is something that one rarely expects to do in life, if ever. It doesn't really become a choice thing, it's just one of those things that always happens to someone else, only this time that someone is me.

I suppose the thing that tears at the heart strings so much is that I have had such close hand experience with this situation in recent times, I didn't envisage that I'd be confronted with it again so soon, or if ever again.

So how is this paragraph from Nedd's book relevant to the rest of us who haven't broken a record, or run across Australia or raised nearly $3 million for the homeless??

I see "showing up" as being something that we can do every day. If any of you are like me, there must be days when you are driving to work thinking "I don't think I can do this today!"

The reasons could be tenfold, but if we take this mindset into our workplace we are only going to annoy the crap out of everyone there. It could be the same if you are going to a gathering, dinner or party that you'd love to avoid but can't. I see "showing up" as sucking it up and striving to not let your inner negativity affect others. 

Ever tried to stay miserable all day? It's hard work !! I know from my perspective, if I'm heading to work and dreading something about the day ahead, I just look for at least one positive to start the day. That might be as simple as being rude (respectfully) to a colleague who like me is always there early!! That lightens the morning and generally sets me up for a good day. Likewise, he gives it back to me. 

Just as we can try to show up with the opposite to how we really may be feeling, don’t we all know it when someone has rocked up and just cuts loose because something has upset them. Showing up could also be the time when we give our time to that person just to see if we can help in any way. 

I’m not asking you all to buy a halo to wear, but just to take stock and consider the times when we could perhaps think about how others might be perceiving us and whether we need to do something about it? Showing up could also be recognising this before someone has to embarrass us by telling us!! Ouch!!

I said this might be short, as the plane is about to leave. I usually wait a while before posting, but hang it, I’m letting this one go straight away!!

Thursday - 7 hours plugged into the machine with strict instructions to remain as still as I could. My left arm was not to be moved at all. Let’s just say the bladder was given a good stretching!!😖

Friday- another 5 hours, another bladder workout!

Thursday - while waiting to see if I was needed again the next day I squeezed in a quick visit to Tony upstairs. He messaged last night to say the stem cells were going in already.

Well Readers,

I hope that you can all stop and reflect on the ways that “showing up” could be good for you. And others who benefit from you making the effort!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 The Power of One !!

Hi Readers,

Another gap between posts, due mainly to being back at work after our generous Christmas holiday break. It's not that I don't have time to do the posts, it's just that I now have to prioritise my time more, or perhaps make better use of my time.

A few events over the past few months have prompted the title of this post, but even more so over the past two weeks. The relevance and importance of the number one, and how it has influenced so much of what I've been doing, and what I'm hoping to do has resulted in quite a few responses and reactions from my part. Some of these have been somewhat amusing, others frustrating, some joyful and others depressing.

I'm not for a moment complaining about any of these, it's just that the significance of the number one in each of them has really got me thinking about them lately.

 

I'll start off with the most recent example, one that really P%$#@D me off at first, but now I sort of understand it, even though it still makes me mad!!

The Single Supplement.

I'm taking some leave later this year and was planning to go over to Europe and complete the part of a trip that Jen and I had planned to do, but as things have turned out, that will never be possible.

We had always wanted to do a river cruise through Europe, from Amsterdam to Budapest. Although we have already been to both of those cities, there is so much of Germany that we still wanted to explore, and this was how we wanted to do it.

Over the past few weeks I have been doing some research, and every time I see a good price I go ahead and try to book it only to find that the prices are always based on Twin-Share. When it comes to the part where I need to tick "1 Passenger", the price goes up quicker than Donald Trump's hair in the slightest of breezes !!

For example, last week I found a good trip that matched my dates and it was something like $11 000.00. Not too bad considering what it offered. However, when I checked in as a single........$19 000.00 !!!!! As I said, I get it, but just can't submit to it. I even tried checking in as a couple, but then it was still two fares, which was more than a single fare.

No matter where I looked it was a similar case with every cruise line, even the ones that were spruiking "Special Fares for Singles". Pretty soon I began to see how challenging things are for the solo traveller. The booking arrangements definitely do not favour the soloists, and I'm not complaining about it. Annoyed and frustrated, yes, but at least I'm able to understand and accept it. Well, maybe eventually !! Forking out nearly twice the fare of others does not give you any extra benefits, you're just probably paying for the spots that they were hoping would be taken by a couple, who would then hopefully spend more.

That's my new reality, but it was a bit of a shock discovering it so brutally!

I've had many people suggest that I should look around for someone else to accompany me. Not interested.

This was going to be our trip, so I just want to enjoy it by myself, just as if Jen was there with me.

Whatever I end up doing, it will still be memorable and worthwhile, I just need to tweak a few things. The Power of One person....or lack thereof !

Now that I have that off my chest, I can look at a few other things light heartedly.

Why light heartedly? Because after all of the things that have gone wrong with my body over the past 18 months, I can only laugh at myself.

The Power of One...Leg!

Around 15 months ago I had a significant operation on my right ankle. I was told the recovery would be lengthy, and boy, were they correct on that one! Since that day I have been managing as best as I can on my one good leg, hoping that the 'fixed' one would soon start pulling its weight again.

Yeah, right !

I can have days where it looks like I'm walking normally, only to sit down for a while in a meeting or something, and when it's time to get up I'm hobbling due to stiffness settling in.

People must be wondering what the hell is going on !

Thank goodness for the one 'good' leg though, it gets me out of many an embarrassing situation. Just as my good leg has the power of supporting me as much as possible, I still get amazed at the power of my bung leg in slowing me down. Things like wearing thongs are a hassle due to the lack of feeling and nerve damage in my toes. The best way to describe it is that it feels like tv static throughout my foot. Before this I never knew how much we rely on the sense of touch in our feet to successfully wear thongs !!

While I'm talking footwear, some days I feel that I need a right shoe one size bigger than the left shoe, just to ease the pressure. Imagine going into a shoe shop and ordering a size 9 shoe and a size 10 ! That one leg is sure exercising its power!!

At least I'm not having any problems with my socks. 🧦

I tend to find out what I can and can't do more by accident. One of these things is that I still can't balance on one leg. My bung leg won't let me do that yet, it's just its way of telling me that my ambition mustn't outweigh my ability. The kids in my class have had many a laugh as they watch me lose my balance trying to get up from the floor in the classroom.

They also get a laugh out of hobbling past me as if they have a bung leg too, doing great impersonations of me, knowing that I can't run them down and catch them.  😖

Luckily they know that I see the funny side of it too, and they only do it in jest. Little buggers !!

The Power of One...Leg !🦵

The Power of One... Finger.

Time to laugh at my own situation again, this time at how just ONE finger can lead to so much disruption.

My only problem here though has been that one finger played up first, then 5 others thought it would be a great idea if they did it too !

Basically, the tendon in my finger gets stuck, and an operation is needed to release it. Otherwise, my finger gets in a locked position and won't straighten unless I forcibly straighten it myself, which is usually very painful.

At first I had one finger on each hand done and for a week or two I was wandering around school looking like a T-Rex with both hands strapped and pretty useless.

Fast forward a few months and I need two more fingers done on my right hand. More T-Rexing. 🦖

Another few months and the other hand needs two fingers done, that's 6 so far. By now I'm asking my doctor when this will end and he thinks my thumbs will be okay, but my last two fingers are already showing signs of the same condition.

So what has this taught me?

You can do amazing things one handed. Or should I say, it's amazing how one can adapt to trying to do things one handed, especially when you have to use the opposite hand.

Just think of some everyday tasks that you do Readers, then try and do it with the opposite hand.

Cleaning your teeth.

Shaving.

Changing the gears in your car (luckily my new car has push button gears)

Cutting up your dinner

Pouring a kettle

General cooking.

Drying oneself after a shower.

Doing up your shoelaces, or buttons on a shirt

Typing

Pulling the cord to start the mower (Now that must have looked funny to my neighbours!!)

I never knew how much I took for granted, and once again all I could do was laugh, as bitching about them wouldn't change a thing.

Then I had the hassle of a shoulder needing some work done. Here I now am having hassles walking, using my hands and now using one arm for most things.

The past few weeks at school I've been caught a few times trying to scratch an itchy bit on my back that I can't reach with my good arm. Rather than trying to turn myself inside out I just go up to a doorway, lean back and have a good old rub up and down or sideways, just like we often see bears doing against trees in the forest. Even I have to laugh at what this must look like !!

Looks odd, but feels sooooo good!!

It has been a new world Readers of discovering new ways of doing the most basic things, some successfully, but most done in what must look like the most hilarious methods if you were a spectator watching.

I did mention last year how hard it was making the bed with one leg and both hands out of action, and how I'd do commando rolls over the bed to spread the sheet out. I'm back to doing that now as I can't flip the sheet out with both arms as one just won't participate, no matter what expletives I use !! Hanging out the washing. Try doing that one handed!

So the events of the past year with my body have really showed me how important each limb and digit really is, and how losing the use of one can have such an impact on what you do.

But the most important lesson I've learned is that my hassles are only temporary ( a long temporary so far) and that I'm still incredibly lucky that I've been able to sort of get fixed. So many others don't get his opportunity and live without total use of limbs and digits for long periods of their lives, or permanently. 

Certainly another example of taking my favourite pill.

So, in saying this, I'm just pointing out that we often take just so much for granted.

Wasn't it Phil Collins who has a line in a song that says  "We had a life, We had a love. But you don't know what you've got 'till you lose it"

I just used to love running, to the point of obsession. Now being able to only walk sort of properly, I really know what I'm missing, but I can't dwell on that. Rather than focus on what I can't do, the focus needs to be on what I can do.

I'm currently reading the most fantastic book that a great colleague at work gave to me to read.

 

This book has resonated with me just as much as another book that I've banged on about in quite a few posts, "Zero Negativity" by Ant Middleton.

Nedd ran across Australia, as one would do.

But what really stood out is that he too had setbacks when one part of his body would check out for a period of time. But rather than wallow in self pity, his attitude was often "What else can I do still?" Not letting the power of one setback skittle him completely.

Think of the little "Powers of One" that we endure that at the time are the most life threatening, tragic and catastrophic, but in reality........

- The pimple that appears in the middle of your forehead just as you are trying to impress your new crush. 

- The paper cut on your finger that makes you think that an amputation is imminent.

- The ice cream headache, that has us nearly calling for the ambulance.

Jen always maintained that these never existed, as she never had them. Tell that to someone who gets them!!

I know I joke about these trivial things, but it's amazing how one little thing can seemingly have so much power, to the point that they become so much bigger than what they really are.

In Nedd's book he talks about 'looking for the blue sky days' when things are troubling us. Not these futile things that I'm light heartedly making fun of, but some of the things that are more serious for us. Only you know which ones to consider here. 

He mentions that sometimes there are just no words to explain how hard they are at times, but that we must just try and envisage 'a blue sky day' in the future when hopefully we may be able to get on top of them.

This part of his book slapped me in the face like a wet fish, as I just have no words that can explain how much I miss Jen, but in order to try and dig myself out of this hole I need to look for my own blue sky days. This is a "Power of One" on a much higher level, as it is all about one person in my life, and we all have them in some shape or form. In one way I'm lucky that I can laugh at most of mine as they are pretty pathetic in the bigger scheme of things. And others helping me to see the lighter side of them also helps.

Perhaps that's where we can help others in similar predicaments?

So Readers, if your mower won't start, you run out of milk for your coffee, the internet drops out for a short time or you get a hole in your favourite pair of undies, see it for what it is. It's just one little thing that is making us think it is the most powerful thing.

And it stresses us out needlessly.

I was worried this morning making a barrel of beer, and the biggest problem in the entire world for about 2 minutes was how on earth I was going to lift the barrel onto the shelf in the shed !! The power of one barrel of home brew beer !! 

(Relax, even with one arm I managed to come up with a plan that meant I didn't have to lift it - I'm not going to destroy the work the surgeon did on my shoulder !! )

I created a 'blue sky' moment.

I hope that you all have blue skies heading your way and that you are continually optimistic about them, despite your paper cuts !!!

Until my next post Readers,

Cheers 😁🥂