Man vs Spider!!
A totally different approach to this post today, not sure how long it will be or where it could go, let's just see!
For the past few weeks, every time I go out to hang out my washing I get strangled by this spider web that keeps appearing at the back of our house. Can you see that already I am over catastrophising it!!!
For the first few times it was just a minor annoyance, and I'd brush the webs off as I made my way to the clothesline. This in itself is easier said than done, because as soon as I'd pick the web off with one hand, it would stick to that hand. I'd pick it off that with the other, and now it was back to where it started. No matter where I seem to go, the web just wants to be with me. I must look ridiculous doing the "Web Dance" each time I go out to the clothesline!
While it may look safe, danger is lurking!!!
The guilty culprit usually sets the trap between the shrub and the bricks.
Now before you all start messaging me to say how to get rid of it, let me remind you that I know how spiders are good at getting rid of other pests. If it was a redback or a white tail, I would have eliminated it by now as I have come off second best to both species before. I'm also the guy who will shoo bees away when I am mowing the lawn as I know just how vital they are to our ecosystems, and I can't bear the thought of killing one. Wasps are another story though, they get dispatched immediately!!!
My strangulation by the web has been continuing daily for more than three weeks now, and every time it happens I make a mental note "Hmmm, must get rid of that web"
And then I forget about it or just put it off, until the same thing happens next time I head to the clothesline. Then I'm cursing myself for not doing what I reminded my self to do the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that day too and so on.
So, a few days ago I got a broom and gave all the edges a quick brush, privately congratulating myself for my bravery at taking on this monster arachnid and solving the problem at last.
Or so I thought.
The little fecker somehow evaded me and next morning as I made my way to the clothesline with a little skip in my step I was once again nearly decapitated by its lethal trail.
It was now taking me on!!!
Out came the broom again and EVERYWHERE got a brush down. There was no way that it could have survived this response!
I'll point out that I still haven't made eye contact with this monster, and it has turned into Hunter vs Hunted scenario now.
Using all of my bravery, I poked around in between everything that was between something else trying to locate this menace that had the potential to threaten our entire neighbourhood, but had for some reason developed a fixation for me.
It was now using tactics. Usually I'd get "Webbed" in the face, as it seemed to be working between the house and the shrubs at head level. I'd grab a stick and wave it around at that level thinking that I'd get rid of any web before being suffocated by it (That's how bad it has been getting Readers!!) But what would happen is that my legs would get tangled instead. The spider had gone to a new level, a lower level.
We've all seen spider webs on frosty mornings and marvelled at their beauty. I wasn't seeing any beauty in this one, because usually I couldn't see it, which only added to the number of times I walked into it. And when it tangled around my legs I'd spend ages trying to get it off only for the slightest of breezes just finding a new part of my body to annoy. This spider was just playing with me.
I'm hoping my next door neighbour isn't hearing my potty mouth going off each time the spider has yet another successful entrapment!
I know that I have slightly exaggerated such a pedantic issue, and regular readers will know that I often mention needing to take a "perspective pill", and this is a perfect example.
If anything, this whole 'problem' is laughable as it frustrates the living daylights out of me, but in reality is too insignificant to worry about at all.
I feel that the spider and I might actually be bonding, and not just from its web. I tend to look carefully for it now and just break a few strands so as to get through, knowing full well that my industrious friend will have it fixed in no time at all.
So, the spider wins!!
But it had better tell its other spider mates who could be the ones who I intensely dislike that their time here is over, for if I see them, it's no broom. It's straight to the can of insect killer!!!
A very light hearted page of babble Readers, well done if you read this far.
Now to go out and clean up another problem that is happening again, the kangaroos that crap all over my front lawn!!! I'm glad they don't weave webs!!!!
Until my next post,
Cheers
😀
