It's Okay To Be You

Hi Readers,

Another few weeks in between posts, but now I just decide to write when I want to write rather than when I feel I should write because I haven't done it for a while.

This one was prompted by a few things. Firstly, I have to be at home this morning as the air conditioner on the roof shat itself two weeks ago and today it is getting repaired. Hence I need to be here.

Secondly, I was listening to a podcast yesterday where the iconic Australian singer MarK Seymour was being interviewed. Well worth a listen on "The Howie Games" for anyone who may be interested!!

Anyway, when prodded about why he writes songs and where the inspiration comes from for his songs, he explained that often he just gets an idea that sits in his mind and it might be ages before he acts upon it. Sometimes there will be something that prompts him to revisit it, or gives him greater incentive as to how he could use it. I feel the same way with lots of the things I write about, but rather than leave them floating in the cavernous space between my ears I tend to scribble hem down on post-it notes which inevitably are all over the house and throughout the car. And then they get lost🤬

So this year I am being more organised and have an A4 pad on the kitchen bench where I regularly scribble down random thoughts to write about or just ditch the next day as while they might have seemed good at the time, a day later I'm thinking "What the ...??!!"

The post-it notes are still available at short notice, but I'm now collating everything into one place.

In my recent posts I mentioned how I am reading a book by the recently retired AFL player Travis Boak, one of the best books I have read. As I got to about 2/3 in I started to notice more and more little snippets that could be used as writing prompts, things that really struck a chord with me. When I find these I just fold the corner of the page so that I can find them later on. As you can see, the last few chapters have really given me some fodder!

As there is not much of the book left to read you can be sure that my radar is alerted to looking out for any other little gems that might just catch my attention, or trigger another writing prompt. Once I find that I am getting a lot of inspiration from a source I am so much more aware of looking out for further ideas.

Just as Mark Seymour gets an idea then feels the need to write about it, so does Travis Boak. He comes across a sentence or a thought then feels compelled to text one of his close friends to share his thoughts about it. I too have similar experiences where I'll text a close friend and share some insights about what I may have just read, and then maybe a few days later write an expanded post about it, just as I'm doing now.

But what struck me about both of them is that they both acknowledge that although so many others may read the same thing that piqued their interest, how they interpret it it can be vastly different. There is no one way, or "correct" way to understand something, it is totally up to each individual. 

Which is why this post is titled "Its okay to be you"

Unfortunately though there can be times when conflict can occur between people purely because of the fact they disagree with how they respond to something. 

Before you write me off completely, I am only referring to situations that aren't inflammatory, socially unacceptable or controversial. That's a different story.

For example...

I used this image at a conference once as my way of explaining my approach of encouraging the children to think openly and contribute different ideas. I was taken to task by someone in the group who argued that it was our job as teachers to give the children the same information and get them to develop the same understandings so that everyone was on the same page. They were entitled to their opinion just as much as I was entitled to mine. There was no animosity shared between us, just two conflicting viewpoints that were shared respectfully.

Just as I mentioned two other people who write things down to better explain themselves, I too feel that helps me to understand things more, something that I have alluded to in numerous posts.

People who know me will just think I'm delving into my passion for my beloved Richmond Football Club with this next way of explaining this. Just indulge me please!!

In the years 2017-2020 Richmond won 3 Premierships and were red hot for those 4 years, bringing untold joy to so many followers. It still gives me tingles when I remember those years!!!

Their success was due to so many factors, but one player in particular elevated himself to such high standards that even the most anti-Richmond person would begrudgingly acknowledge his prowess in that time.

I'm talking about Dustin Martin, a player who started journalling after each game, training session, and then at the start and end of each day. While most players might have been struggling to fill a page let alone a complete notebook, Martin was filling his notebooks up at a rapid rate to the point where it even surprised the people who were working with the club at the time and who had initiated the journalling approach. It might not have floated the boats of everyone, but it was a definite hit for Martin, and his form throughout those years speaks for itself. And when people hear about how much journalling he was doing there is often the response "I'd never expect that from him"

Another athlete who openly shares her passion for journalling is Australian High Jumper, Nicola Olyslagers.   

She journals after each jump to assess her performance and improve her technique. She writes in a notebook, rating herself on various aspects of her jump, including run-up, take-off, and execution. This practice helps her focus on her technical aspects and personal reflections, allowing her to analyse her jumps and identify areas for improvement. Olyslagers also incorporates motivational quotes and personal notes, which serve as reminders and 

support during competitions. 

I remember watching her in a competition last year and she was jumping off for the gold medal. Straight after a jump she went straight to her journal and scribbled down some thoughts before lining up to jump again. But what struck me was the look on her face. It wasn't pained or worried, it was calm and she was smiling, despite the fact that she was in a red hot contest with her opponent.

It must have helped as she won the World Indoor High Jump in 2024 👏

Readers, please don't think that I'm suggesting that as soon as you finish hanging out the washing today that you go and sit down in your kaftan, burn some incense and write about how the experience made you feel!! Far from it.

All I'm suggesting is that from time to time we give time to just think about how we are travelling with things in life. It might even be about how you hang out your washing, go for it, or it might be about the way that you treat a certain person for example.

You don't have to get out the crayons and paper, sometimes just a short reflection or thought about it suffices. A few seconds is all it takes.

For example, yesterday a driver sped up and cut me off just to get in front of me, a net gain of about 5m. My first reaction was "What a dick" and I sensed it made me uptight. Straight away I tried to see it for what it was, and I was in a better frame of mind. I didn't need to write about it, but as you can now see, I just did! 

It's these little things that have us striving to change our imperfections. Often they are things that are seen through the eyes of others and might not be obvious to us until they are pointed out, or we somehow discover them to our own embarrassment and angst.

I know that has happened to me many times!!!

Other times they are things that we notice ourselves that others don't, just as I experienced in the car yesterday when I got uptight about someone moving too close to me in their car.

After reading through some recent notes and books and listening to various podcasts it has become clear to me that one of the biggest problems that we face is that we can struggle with identity. Each of the people that I read about had a high profile, but as time wore on they began to realise that they weren't portraying their real self. They were affected by the job they had, their profile, how much money they had, the car they drove, who they associated with or endorsed and that was what was defining them. That was their proof of success and they felt that if they achieved these things, then they were successful and loved.

But each one eventually began to realise as their careers waned towards the end that they needed to flip their thinking. They realised that they needed to be valued first and foremost, and whatever they achieved after that was not what defined them. Many had felt that if they excelled at what they did they would be seen as a better person, when in fact what they were after was to be seen as good person first and to let their deeds be judged separately.

How often do we hear high profile being described as "they are actually good people", as if it is unheard of to be high profile and be good in the same breath?

It seems to be a favourite sport in Australia to bring people down, the "tall poppy syndrome". I'll admit that I do it just as much as anyone else.

After listening to a few podcasts about well known people who we see on tv a fair bit, the interviewer was gushing in their praise of the person saying "On tv they come across as the nicest person you'd ever meet, and the same applies in real life", as if their tv/public persona is all an act. The opposite can also apply. There is a certain tv personality in Australia who comes across as mean and divisive, but everything else I've read or heard about him is that is just for tv, and that away from the cameras you would not meet a more genuine and caring person. 

Readers, a bit of a wandering fluff today, but all prompted by some things I have come across lately that have prompted my thinking about "Who is the real you?", and that "It is okay to be you!!"

So, Be You!!!

Anyway, back to my incense and kaftan.

Until my next post,

Kumbyaa.....I mean Cheers😁

 Meaning and Purpose

Hi Readers, 

Looks like I have time on my hands as I'm writing this post barely two days after my last one, but whether I publish it tonight, the last day of the year remains to be seen. 

It could be very lengthy, or just a brief hit in the park, let's just see how it goes.

Speaking of the last day of the year, some of you might be wondering "Why the hell is he spending New Year's Eve doing this?"

Well, back in the day, Jen and I would panic if we didn't have plans for each weekend, and it would have been rare to find us at home on weekends. The same applied to New Year's Eve. There was always somewhere to go, and if there wasn't we'd create somewhere to go. Fast forward many years after kids and we were content to just spend the night at home together, and usually be tucked up in bed way before midnight!! That's the circle of life!

So here I am, sitting in my caravan in the backyard having a quiet home brew ginger beer and doing something that I really enjoy. In reality, this is a perfect way for me to end the year.

This post will be a collection of a few things that have come my way in the past few days, so in a way I am 'clearing my desk.'

In no particular order, here I go.

In a recent post I mentioned that I was reading Travis Boak's book, one that I have found to be very hard to put down. As usual, when I read books, as soon as I read something that really gets me thinking I close the book for the day and just let what I have read sink in. This has happened with this book. It's also why it takes me so long to read the books that I enjoy most, because I never want to stop reading them.

He speaks about doing certain things in training, then questions how it will help him on the field. He also transfers this to real life, something that could apply to us. Once he knew how these things could help him, he no longer did them just because he had to, because he could now connect value to them. He discovered that everything has to have some meaning or purpose.

Readers, I'm not suggesting that you need to go out and practice your football skills, even though I'd love to do it myself!! What this says to me is that whatever we do in life, if we occasionally stop to think of how we can add value to what we do then we just can't lose.

By making what we do count, and being more aware of the value we are adding, surely this can't be too much of a bad thing?

When I was teaching I could really have a crack at this and try to make the learning experiences more engaging for the kids, and myself. There were just so many ways that I could add value to what I was doing by being more prepared, responsive, less reactive and more tolerant. But now that I'm retired, how can I continue to add value to what I do?

To put this into perspective, look how easy it can be...

Over the past two days I have been more aware of this and put it into practice with the simplest of tasks and have been amazed at how such simple actions can make one feel so good. Try it!

Driving into town - letting people into your lane (as long as you don't disrupt the traffic!), not stressing about someone cutting you off or nearly bumping into you. Not worrying about the traffic, because in reality, YOU are the traffic too! Not getting the park you wanted.

Interactions with store workers - just giving a smile, a thank you, or "Have a good day". You'd be amazed at how some of them react so happily.

Doing tasks around the house - Rather than bitching and moaning about having to mop/sweep/clean, just think about the end result. Work towards a greater outcome ( and play lots of your favourite music really loud at the same time!)

Doing rehab - I do find it monotonous and tedious after so many years, but I know that if I don't do it then things will be harder. In my last post I mentioned how I try to focus on how it is helping me and that changes my mindset dramatically.

The list of other things is endless!!

Readers, you could come up with a huge list of things that bore your socks off, but when you just add that little bit of "Value Adding Spice", you can turn a boring situation into a rewarding one. Sometimes the challenge of turning the most mediocre of tasks into an enjoyable one is a rewarding challenge in itself.

Just from reflecting on Boak's response now has me asking myself quite a lot "Is this the best that I can do?", "Can I do this better?". Not always, but at least it makes me more aware, and sometimes that spurs me on just a little bit more.

The same applies to my posts here, as I always feel that I need to do better, so I am always looking for new ideas.

If you have some, please list them in the comments tab at the bottom of the post, I take on all suggestions eagerly!!

Now for something completely different, a change of direction so to speak.

This morning I was in the supermarket, and as I was approaching the self checkout area I could see this particular worker standing at the entrance. I have noticed her there over the years and have always thought that she looked so stern, and was not someone to mess with.

With my new mindset, I thought that this was a good opportunity to "add value". As I went past her she looked at me in her usual stern way, which is fine by me. I smiled and said "Good morning", not expecting a reply, and before I could go much further she said to me " You go to the cemetery don't you?"

This sort of shocked me and I stopped and said "Are you talking about the White Hills cemetery?"

She said that was right, and I could just tell that she was up for a chat. I told her that I did go up there a lot and she said that she had seen me a lot sitting in my chair as she was often in a white car nearby, visiting her deceased parents. As soon as she said that I could instantly recall the white car that was often there at the same time.

We then chatted for a few minutes, both sharing the same names of other people we have met up there. It seems that the cemetery has become a great place for people to meet others who all go there for the same reason. One bloke who I have met recently has half a mouth of teeth, always has a can of Jim Beam in his hand, looks as rough as anything but is the most delightful fella and is nothing like the image projected by how he looks. It just shows how judgemental we can be. I'm not saying that the White Hills cemetery is a version of Tinder, but it is a place where I have met some lovely people who know when to approach you, and when to give you time and space.

Now if I could just lasso that lady who pesters us all with her dogs up there...🤬

Now another tangent.

In my last post, if you read it you may recall that I am now looking towards my future as a blank canvas, as I just don't have any real plans. Well I do have some, but I'm still living by the seat of my pants at times! I didn't plan on retiring on my own, so lots of adjustments have been, and will continue to be made.

Lo and behold, the next day I get a link from a close friend where a lady who had lost her husband 3 years ago was a bit lost still until the realisation came that she needed to try and stop dwelling on what had happened and now focus on what she could do in the future with her life. Like her, I feel the guilt of trying to start a new life, but realise that until we do we are always dwelling on the past rather than aiming for a brighter future.

This will take some adjusting, and even over the past 24 hours I have made a choice that might cause some to wonder about my sanity, but as it only affects me, no-one needs to worry at all!! Stay tuned...

And to my friend who sent me the link, and was a little worried about doing so...Don't worry, I loved it!!!

Finally, and this part I write with a heavy heart. 🥺

A close friend who I went to boarding school with many years ago has had some bad news recently in regards to his health, and tonight I got the message from him that things have gone downhill. It looks like he hasn't much time left and that he now needs to focus on his remaining time being with his family. The way that he has approached this challenge has been inspirational and it breaks our hearts to hear that time is against him. Having lost a partner in a similar way I just feel so much for him and his family.

When things like this happen it just makes me more aware of the fragility of life and how we just can't leave things sitting on the shelf for too long. Which is why I just keep making what seem to be rash decisions that leave others shaking their heads, but sit easily with me and our boys.

And as one of our boys and his family have moved overseas today for the next few years I am now already planning more overseas travel. I'd always thought I'd go overseas again, maybe not this soon! So the caravan will get used, but I'll always have one eye on the passport for sure!

As I said Readers, not much of a post around an idea, but hopefully just a prompt on how by just thinking about ways we can give more meaning and purpose to some of the very basic things we do, we might make the mundane more enjoyable.

Happy New Year everyone!!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 One Perfect Day...

Hi Readers,

Once again a big gap in between posts, not because I'm being lazy, I've just been waiting for that moment when I really feel like writing, rather than just writing because I feel that I have to.

A few things have popped into my mind in recent weeks so this post could be a ramble. Feel free to stop reading now!!

Yesterday I woke up as usual, but for some reason I just felt different, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I just felt good, and that this day was going to be great.

I started off by doing my usual rehab session for my hands, shoulders and legs, and rather than it feeling like a drag which is often the case, I was actually enjoying it and really focussing on what it might be doing for my body. Instead of doing the usual "Ho Hum, let's get this finished", I found myself actually tuning in to what I was doing and feeling that it was actually making things better. Whether it was or not is still to be decided, but yesterday it sure felt like it was working. As a result, I'm now looking forward to the next session.

 After a quick shower I was up and ready to go. I had no real plans for the day but I just couldn't wait to start doing things because for some unknown reason this day was going to be great!!! By this stage I'd already identified that I was feeling different for some reason, but there was no way I was going to let the moment pass.

I had sort of made plans to give my new car a thorough clean and polish, which is often a drag at the best of times, but today I just couldn't wait to get into it. Music on, wax and scrubs ready and for the next hour or so I was having a great time doing something that I usually dread. What was wrong with me???

All the while I was planning what to do next as I was certainly on a roll. There was just no way that I was going to sit and do nothing. And this perplexing feeling kept nagging at me, a feeling that was sort of saying "This is going to be a great day"

While driving into town and back there were the usual incidents of cars cutting me off, traffic snags and tailgaters, but rather than getting tense about it I was able to just let it go. If the police did a drug test on me at that time they would have been sure I was on something!!!

Just as this day was making me feel SO happy, a few days previous had the opposite effect.

This ongoing problem with my hands and fingers (4 operations so far and some more possibly coming) required me to go and have some injections last week. On the Monday they did some shots into my palm and one of the fingers. That was extremely painful to say the least. Then they said that they weren't allowed to do the other hand on the same day, so I'd have to come back again the next day. 

Great. 

For the next 24 hours I was sweating about this.

Anyway, Tuesday comes around and one of our sons drives me in (not allowed to drive afterwards) and before starting I was warned that this would be worse than the day before. I wish they wouldn't say this, but I get it. So in it goes, but this time into the knuckle. The pain at the time was next level, and then the doctor says "Now this will hurt". 

Trust me when I say she was 100% correct!!! So now I'm waiting for these shots to kick in, but nearly a week later I'm not seeing too much improvement. Now I'm just sweating on the shots getting done to a shoulder in two weeks. If none of these work then it's the knife again. Ho Hum!! 🥱

Then I started to really think why I was feeling this way, and what might be behind it, because this was not the usual me.

As regular readers know, I retired at the end of last year and 2025 was my first year of retirement. But it hasn't felt that way as I had a fair bit on during the year. Just the first part of the year was enjoying not having to work. Then I was planning my overseas trip that took around 5-6 weeks, and pretty soon after that I had leg surgery that pretty much put a line through the next 6 months. I finished the year doing 10 or so Casual Relief Teaching (CRT) days at my old school which was great as it gave me some great social connections again.

Now that the year is just about over I am already looking forward to what lies ahead of me and I see a complete blank canvas. I am more mobile now, so that provides the opportunity to finally get out and about and REALLY give this retirement thing a crack. On the flipside, my surgeon also said that in the coming years my mobility could also decrease significantly due to my arthritis and what I've needed to get done to my body to keep it upright. So that means I just can't afford to sit on my arse and do diddly squat, so there is the incentive to start doing more things now, rather than leave them on hold for too long.

Rather than mope about and think about a mobility scooter possibly being on the horizon, I've decided to really get out and about and do the things I'd like to do, or try the things that we had planned to do together that I had more or less written off.

Some other things have happened recently that have possibly added to this mindshift change.

Whereas through most of 2025 I have had things on the go and things to plan for (apart from 4 months on the couch with my leg up 🤬) I've realised now that I have practically nothing that needs doing. Sure, I look after the house, garden etc, but I just don't seem to have any real commitments at all, so I can do what I like when I like. This takes some getting accustomed to after 38 years of continuous work, but now that I have realised it I have finally come to accept it.

I was saying this to one of our sons this week and relating that when I was teaching and I found myself at a loose end I'd often do some sort of school preparation even if it was during the holidays. Anything to just get ahead, there was always something that could be done. Not now though, I have nothing to prepare for and I have finally ridden myself of the guilt I often associated with not using any spare time to do something related to work.

Basically, I now have NOTHING to do!!!

I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm not complaining. I think it means that I now feel retired.

Some other things I've started doing might also have you scratching your heads. After a recent trip to Ballarat I went past a shop and loved the aroma coming from it. 

No , it wasn't a bar!!🍻

So in I go and ask about it and quickly realised it was a sort of hippy/smell the earth/get in touch with yourself sort of shop. Talk about being in No-Man's-Land!!

Anyway, I asked what it was, they told me and sold me. I walked out with 3 boxes of incense.

After testing it out at home I was hooked, and since then I've bought even more online and have discovered where to buy it in Bendigo. Imagine my disappointment when I drove into town yesterday to buy more and I see they are closed for the next few days. 😫 At least I have enough to get me through.

Not just satisfied with burning incense, I've also planted shrubs and got active in the garden, my first venture into planting things in more than 3 years. I even planted tomatoes that are just about ready for picking. To top it off, I find myself sitting out in the yard doing things like this post rather than sitting inside.

My current office.

And the serenity!!!

So not being content with burning incense, planting things in the garden and going for walks, I have made changes to my usual habits of eating the same old toast or cereal for breakfast. I tell you Readers, you could predict with just about 100% accuracy what I'd have for brekky each day!

I was lucky to be given one of those Nutri-Bullet thingys that zap your food into smithereens in a flash. I'd always wondered about getting one, but until our health conscious sons showed me just how great they are I was still to be hooked. This week has been a world of discovery about how to make very healthy, yet still very tasty smoothies. Gone is the huge lump of ice cream, and in goes frozen berries, banana, mango and oats. I was blown away by how refreshing they are, but also how good they make you feel.

In recent posts I mentioned my "Pasta Surprise" where anything and everything goes in it. I won't be spoiling my smoothies the same way, but rest assured I'll be buying even more fruit from now on.

Banana, mango, berries and oats this morning.

It might look dodgy, but it was beautiful!!

And just when I thought the day couldn't have been better, I get a phone call early in the evening from one of my closest friends. We grew up together, and have stayed close since. We might not hear from each other or see other for weeks/months at a time, but when we do we just pick up from where we left off. He was on the header harvesting a crop and felt it was a great time for a call. As usual we talked about all sorts of things, but also discussed personal things that matter to both of us. That's the sort of friend he is. I messaged him later to say that something I read in the past suggested that in our lives we really only settle on as few as 3-5 true friends in our lives, and when he responded he also quoted some things that he'd read along the same lines too. We didn't need to say where we stood with each other, we just know.

And while on the subject of friends, you might recall that in other posts I mentioned that I went to Boarding School for 4 years. Luckily, a group of us have stayed in touch over the years, especially these past few years. Maybe that's because we are all getting older, but there is still an extremely strong bond between us. Unfortunately, one of these great men is facing a health challenge at the moment and we are all hoping for the best and wishing him a healthy recovery. It's true that in times of adversity that people find the will to band together to support those most in need, and I count myself so lucky to have these people as my close friends. 

To our friend...🙏

Readers, if you are still with me at this point you'll be shaking your heads and thinking "Well, I thought he was losing it, now I'm convinced!"

Incense - tick ✅

Gardening - tick ✅

Walks - tick ✅

Healthy fruit smoothies - tick ✅

Relaxing - tick ✅

What yesterday taught me is the reason to just slow down and not try and do something all the time. Jen would often chide me for not being able to sit still, and I'd often not understand how she could just relax. I get it now, only took 62 years though!!

While yesterday felt like I must have smoking something illegal, it definitely has made me take stock of what lies ahead for me and how I'm going to start filling in my blank canvas.

Things that I wasn't sure about I now have more clarity about. Things that I didn't think I'd have a crack at are now on the agenda. Rather than often dwelling on the past I feel that for the first time I can see something of a future, and this is new to me.

The rest of the day went as well as the day had started. I managed a second rehab session, spent 90 mins on my bike in the shed getting some movement in my ankles and then managed a walk to end the day. Even my home brew tasted better than usual! 

Everything I did just worked! But I'm sore today, and that doesn't matter, as it will go away.

Eventually.

And to save the best for last.

Last week I had the joy of having our 3 sons together at the same time for just a few hours before one of them leaves to live overseas for a few years.

Just as yesterday was a time when everything just felt right, this time with the boys felt the same. I couldn't have been any happier.

Nothing much beats this.

And flying to Qld for a quick last visit to say goodbye to the Grandsons is up there too!!

Well Readers, it has been a random sort of post, but through writing it I have been able to come to understand the significance of how I woke up yesterday. It wasn't as strong today, but by remembering how it made me feel I can decide how to respond to it.

As I said earlier, I basically don't have anything to do, and I say that in a positive way. It's up to me what I decide to do and with what mindset.

Yes, it was One Perfect Day !!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

  

 Just Work It Out!

Hi Readers, 

A bright and sunny day for a change after a few weeks of pretty crappy weather here where we live. Not complaining though, as there is diddly squat we can do about it, so why worry? Still, I'll appreciate the good days when they come!!

I find it amazing still that I get an idea for a post, and for the next few days I just keep getting new ideas to add to that post or things happen that relate directly to what I want to write about. 

Maybe it's because my mind is more alert to things related to the post and that's why they resonate with me. It's like when I have been looking for a new car (and hasn't that happened a lot over the past 3 years!!) and I set my mind on a particular make and model. Then whenever I am driving around I keep seeing that type of car everywhere!

The opposite also happens.

When I had my motorbike I would always be checking out other bikes I'd see in the street or passing by. Now that I've sold mine I only give other bikes a fleeting glance as they go by. As much as I loved having mine, because I know that I can't ride one safely anymore it has taken away the yearning and longing to have one again. I had my time in the sun with my motorbikes, now it's time for something else.

Which brings me to the inspiration for this post, which came from our 5 year old Grandson, Henry.

A year or so ago I bought him a bike for Christmas. He'd get along on it fine with his trainer wheels, and was always keen to get them off and start riding solo.

Due to where they lived it wasn't always a safe place to learn to ride a bike, and their property didn't have enough space. Then they spent much of this year living overseas while the bike stayed at home. A few weeks ago I was up in Qld visiting and was able to get him on his bike a few times in their backyard that had been landscaped to include enough space to start riding a bike in. It was frustrating for him at first as he hadn't been on it for so long, so I didn't push him. If he wanted to have a crack we'd do it, and if he didn't want to, then we didn't.

Imagine my surprise when I get sent a video clip last week showing him scooting around the front of their house as if he'd been doing it for years.

Our son said that Henry just decided one day that he was going to ride his bike on his own, and after minimal trial and error he just nailed it so quickly. Even they were amazed at how quickly he mastered the art of riding without the trainers on.

This clip may or may not work! Sorry!!!

What impressed me the most was that he wasn't pushed or forced into it, he just made up his mind that he was ready to do it. Sure, he needed some help at the start, but as he had made up his mind to do it he was well on the way to success already. He was just ready and able to work it out.

I remember when I was teaching his dad to ride a bike many, many years ago. Sam got on a bit of a roll and was pedalling away from me, but there was a large tree looming ahead and it didn't look as if he was going to miss it. Rather than rush ahead and save hime from the impending collision, I just let him decide for himself what to do. I thought he might veer left or right to go around it. WRONG!!

He just kept pedalling right into the tree.

He might have been just a little bit hurt, but he got over it.  I think. (He still reminds me about it to this day though!!!) But the main thing was that he never did it again as he realised he needed to work it out so that it wouldn't happen again.

It might have been a harsh lesson, but it wasn't repeated by his two younger brothers as he complained constantly about it when we were teaching them to ride their bikes.

Surprisingly, neither of them crashed into a tree!!!

Henry learning to master the skill of riding a bike was the impetus for this post, then as I was browsing the book section in a store last week I came across this book.

I have always admired Travis Boak as a sportsman long before I found out even more about him. I heard him in a podcast and was really touched by the way he has understood how the things that have happened in his life have helped him to become who he is. This book was just screaming out at me to buy, so I did.

I'm only 40 or so pages in, and as I said in a former post, when I read and come across something that really gets me thinking I often re-read it a few times, or stop there for the day just so that I can reflect upon it. That's why it takes me so long to read books!!!

Anyway, he relates a story about how he was playing cricket in an important game when he was about 15. He was usually one of their best bowlers, but on this day he just felt like he bowled rubbish all day, and at the end of the game was really down on himself.

His Dad had been watching all day but said nothing. As they got to the car Travis said "I want to go to the nets to practice", so his Dad took him there. Dad set up some cones and just said "Aim for these" and then did nothing else for the next 2 hours while Travis bowled at the cones and tried to work it out. No barking of instructions from his Dad, just encouragement.

At the end of the session Travis realised he had worked out what he needed to do, and that although his Dad seemed to do very little, he had in fact done so much. He enabled Travis to work it out himself, which always makes the learning become embedded.

This is just what Henry's parents had done, gave lots of encouragement and support rather than overpowering him with instructions. They let him work out what works for him.

Having had this epiphany after seeing how both Henry and Travis both achieved success purely by having a crack and trying to work things out for themselves, I started wondering how I could do the same.

Being retired now I have a bit of time on my hands, but there are still lots of things to do that don't get done because I just don't know how to do them, or are just too lazy to actually try and work them out.

There is a tap in my yard that drips endlessly, but I just couldn't get it off the wall. I went and picked out a tap to replace it, then thought "What if it's not the whole tap, just something else?" So after fossicking around in the toolboxes and a bit of googling, I had the tap off, tested a few washers and Bingo!! Tap fixed and that constant puddle has not been seen for days.

In a recent post I mentioned how the World's Worst Gardener (ie, me) had actually started planting things. Well, it has been a few weeks now and nothing has died. Quite the opposite, the garden is flourishing. Today I managed to figure out how to feed the plants properly! I know that sounds mediocre to all of you, but for me it has been huge!!!

The best part of this has been that Jen has been getting fresh roses on her grave every day now. Rather than just let the roses wilt on the vine and drop away, I'm making sure that a fresh bunch from her garden is placed with her every day while they are still around. Just this small act gives me such incentive to honour the rest of the garden that she lovingly put so much work into, I'd hate to disrespect this work.

Admittedly, my flower arranging skills were pretty pathetic with this first effort, but things are looking so much better a week or so later!!

 One thing that challenges me at the moment is trying to reach the crimson and white roses at the top as they are just the best. I've had a few near misses with my dodgy legs, I just don't want to risk damaging them again!!

I can't speak for you, but for me, just kicking these little goals feels like I have climbed Mt Everest some days! Especially when i work out a few 'minor' things in the same day!

I had quite a few tap issues in the yard with sprinklers and watering systems, but rather than 'calling in the man' I decided to have a crack on my own first, and I did it. This just gave me extra incentive to have a crack at other tasks, and you guessed it, nailed them too!!

Giving yourself the time to try and solve things before giving in to them is so self rewarding, I might even keep trying to do it!!

The first part of Travis Boak's book goes into great detail about the relationship that he had with his Dad, and how he coped with losing him over a two year period to cancer, and how he copes now. I found this very hard to read, but appreciated his openness and honesty so much as it had so many parallels to what we went through with Jen when she was sick. Just like Travis, I have learnt so much about myself, especially since retiring and there still so many things I am trying to work out. As he experienced, the loss never stops, it just gets different, and trying to adapt to it and make meaning from it is what I just need to keep trying to work out.

Another thing that I have been working out lately is how to teach again!!

Yep, I have been back in the classroom over the past few weeks after deciding to make myself available for relief work at my old school. I ran into one of Jen's old colleagues who had retired, but decided to do a bit of CRT work just to see if she'd regret not giving it a try. This struck a chord with me, as I had also been thinking if I'd regret not giving it a try. After 38 years of teaching it is not as easy as it sounds to go cold turkey, well, not for me anyway. I did have to stay in Bendigo quite a bit these few months due to various doctor appointments and tests that I've been having, so I decided to have a crack at a few days. These few days have grown into quite a few days, and I'm actually enjoying it. 

But in the space of less than a year, the method of teaching has changed dramatically so I really had to work it out even though I was still getting lots of support from other teachers at the school. If anything, the kids were probably teaching me, rather than the opposite!!

So Readers, not only have I been trying to work out whether I still wanted to teach or not, having made that decision, I now have to try and work out how teaching is being done now!!

Regardless of the changes though, it has been overwhelmingly positive with the welcoming back from the kids and staff that have made the transition so rewarding. I'll power through to the end of the year and when 2026 comes around I'll see how I feel about continuing on with it.

Perhaps the funniest thing happened yesterday when I was collecting a Gr 1 class from their teacher who I get on so well with, and we were ribbing each other and teasing each other a bit in a fun way in front of his class. After I left, one of the kids asked him "Is Mr K your Dad?"

He couldn't find me quick enough to tell me!! 😂

Not a very lengthy post this week Readers, as I'm going to work out how to cut off some of those high roses and take them to Jen. I'll make sure that I do it carefully, but I'll work it out!!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁