Rear View Mirrors
Hi Readers,
As I warned in my previous post, there was a real possibility that future posts would easily be prompted by things that catch my attention from watching Ted Lasso. If you are one of those who haven"t watched an episode and are sick of people like me encouraging you to watch it, then I'm sorry, but I'm sure you'd still like it!!!
Even so, there are so many messages and ideas prompted by it and one doesn't need to watch the show in order to be touched by some of the sayings, slogans or quotes that are becoming very visible as a result.
Which brings me to the point of this post. Without giving anything away that would spoil the show for those still to watch it, this is the quote that really slapped me in the face this week. There was no big build up, it was just quickly said in a discussion between the characters Ted and Rebecca, the owner of the soccer team.
They were having a discussion about relationships and Rebecca was experiencing significant self doubt when Ted just says "That's why rear view mirrors are smaller than windshields", followed by a very reassuring glance back at Rebecca.
BANG!!! This just hit me between the eyeballs, and I wouldn't be surprised readers if you are wondering if I still have all my faculties if a quote like this should have such an impact on me. Still, different things affect people in many ways, or not at all, it all depends on the timing or the current mindset of each person. This quote clearly touched something in me at the time that made it resonate and mess with me for the rest of the next few days. For some of you it might not strike any chords whatsoever, and that is totally fine, I have no qualms with that. There may be quotes that you have heard that have impacted you, but I wouldn't give a second consideration at all. No one is wrong, it's just who we are.
Regardless, I'll bang on and hope that I haven't lost you already!
The message that I took from this quote is that the rear view mirror is all for seeing what is behind us, and in life they are all the things that have happened and cannot be changed. The windshield is what lies ahead of us and is so much bigger as there is so much opportunity and potential facing us if we are open to searching for it. And we can't always see all that is ahead of us, but we can see what is coming up soon.
When one relates this to real life, we can choose to focus on the things that have live in our past and not try and focus on what could be ahead of us. This could be because the past is concrete whereas the future is very abstract, and involves risk.
Speaking from experience, for the past few years I've been living with an extremely large rear view mirror as things happened that have changed me dramatically. Things that I just can't get out of my head. In my last post I suggested that this can be seen as the 'rain' in our lives and that by looking forward we can still try to achieve 'rainbows'. I'm not suggesting we ignore the past, but for our own wellbeing we still need to search for better times in the future. It sounds a lot easier to do as there are days when I just can't move forward. That's why the windshield is bigger, as there is so much opportunity if we are prepared to search for it, which is what I have recently been able to start doing.
I know I have been booked for a week of work in a few weeks, but after that I'm pulling the plug completely. No more work, just time to explore this retirement thing and start doing it properly. The past two years have been interrupted by lengthy recoveries from operations, but as I have only one more to go the world really is my oyster now.
This time last week I was just thinking about where I could go in my caravan once I can start travelling again, but over the past few days I've actually started planning the actual places I want to go to, how many days at each place etc. So far I'm got my trip as far as Cairns and deciding whether to drive back the same way, a different way, or just keep going in a totally random direction!! I might end up in Perth for all I know, and that's the beauty of having a windshield mentality rather than a rear view mirror mentality.
On a lesser scale of unplanned travel, a few months ago before my shoulder op I woke up and decided that I just needed to go somewhere. So I got in the car and as I pulled out of the driveway I flipped a coin. Tails was north of Bendigo, heads was to go south.
I flipped tails, so headed north and within an hour I found myself in Echuca. I had a great time just wandering the streets and riverbank which took me back to my childhood as we would often have family Sunday car trips to Echuca.
It was the total randomness of the day that made it so special, and I have done it a few times since. A spur of the moment decision to go to the Colbinabbin Hotel for lunch one day was memorable as it was where I grew up, but I still can't get over that uneasy feeling of dining alone, which is why I rarely if ever do it. Watch the latest episode of Ted Lasso and you'll see what I mean.
So what other 'windshield' experiences potentially lay before me? What can I really look forward to?
The most obvious one is watching our two Grandsons, Henry and Angus grow up. They recently stayed with me for a few days and it is just so special that their parents do absolutely everything they can to enable their sons to develop such close relationships with their grandparents. A very touching moment occurred last week when two and a half year old Angus was intently looking at an old family photo of me, Jen and the three boys and he was asking about everyone and naming them all, in particular Jen. Then Henry came over and joined in and was telling him more about Jen. That was just so beautiful to witness.
Looking for turtles at the lake.
Going out to Pop's caravan to watch something on the tv, they just love it!
Not only does watching Henry and Angus grow up excite me, the same applies with our three sons, Sam, Will and Lachie. Just as I watch our grandsons start to forge on with their lives, the same applies with our sons. Each has achieved so much in their childhood and teenage years, and now in their adult years the same applies. I could bask in the memories of watching them growing up, but now I just want to see what is next in their lives. They have moved into different fields of work and have done so well in all that they have done. Now that one lives an hour away on a farm, one lives down on the coast and another lives in Dubai, I definitely have my travel sorted for the time being!! While I do have a sort of idea what their futures may look like, nothing can change this quicker than something unexpected happening, which we did experience. However, every day I just keep wishing for a future that is full of hope for each of them.
Something that I have already alluded to in this post, I am hopefully becoming more mobile in the coming weeks and with that comes the possibility of doing anything that I want, and going wherever I want. I might have to do some more flipping of the coin when I hook up the caravan!! I'm not joking there, I honestly don't mind just heading off and not knowing where I might end up or when I'll get back.
Something that might prompt me to really explore places a lot more occurred last week. A friend who passed away recently advised me to not not put things off and really take on anything I might be considering as we just don't know what is around the corner for us. Another friend who is travelling often posts great aerial shots of his travels, so I bit the bullet and went and bought a drone.
Another reason for this is that I rarely get photos or footage of myself on my travels as it means I have to pester others to take a photo for me. Now I can get the drone to do some of this, to some extent.
So this week I have been down to the nearby football oval learning how to use it and feel really optimistic about how I'll be able to use it on my travels. It will also influence where I go to also due to the possibility of getting some great footage.
All I have to worry about now is making sure I don't crash it or inadvertently do something illegal!!! And doing it properly once I get rid of the sling too!!
This next bit sounds a tad self indulgent, but as you know by now, do you think I'm going to let it worry me?
Recently I was looking through some files in the shed and I found a number of letters written to me back in the day by our mum. She was a prolific letter writer and we would all get letters constantly. How grateful am I now that I have kept them!! We would always bag her about the standard of her handwriting, but looking at it now it is totally fine, and she should be proud of it. What struck me most was the humour in her letters, just priceless. So, in a way, this blog is something that I'm leaving for our boys, so that long after I'm gone they can hopefully look back over it, possibly share it with their boys and have it as a sort of keepsake just like the letters I found in the shed recently. This is another reason why I keep writing these posts as I keep them in mind as each post is a potential memory of me for them. I know others read it, but more importantly it lets them know things about me that may have otherwise been forgotten over time.
Something else occurred this week that has put a spring in my step, literally.
I have a treadmill out in the shed alongside my bikes that are set up on rollers where I watch tv while I work out. The treadmill hasn't been used a lot over the past 2-3 years due to the surgeries I've had on both ankles and a knee. But now that they are nearly recovered I can now use the treadmill, as I can't use my bikes at the moment. If I couldn't do any exercise I'd be going off my nut even more than I am at the moment!!
A few days ago I noticed my runners were wearing out and as I haven't needed to buy new ones for a while I realised the day had come to go and do it.
Boy was I excited, because this was telling me that I was getting better!!!
So off I went to the shops yesterday, and settled on two different pairs. I was umming and aahing over which pair to get and just couldn't decide, and you can guess what happened next?
Yep.
I bought both pairs!!
This made me even more determined to really get fit again, so when I got home I made sure to have a good hitout on the treadmill. I covered the display so that I couldn't see the timer and just went for it at a good speed and incline level, watching a selection of really good and really trashy shows on the tv. When my body was telling me "Okay Cowboy, time for a break" I took the towel off the display and saw that I'd completed 130 minutes!! Talk about feeling motivated!! And that was on top of a 60 minute session that I do early every morning.
So I've done my morning session today, and as soon as I finish this post I'm off to do another big session and watch the football that is on later.
Readers, I could look back in my rear vision mirror and feel sorry for myself for how much recovery time I've needed, but have decided to look out the front window and look towards the better times that are ahead. And in some ways, whenever I'm looking backwards I hear Jen telling me to look the other way and go forwards.
And when I get tempted to feel sorry for myself for whatever reason, this picture always makes me laugh and put things in perspective. Turn around and look forwards!!!
Well Readers, this post is sort of related to my previous one, in that it has a focus on looking positively towards the future rather than dwelling negatively on the past. I would never suggest that we are forgetting the past, as I still have the guilt of being able to go on with things when others have had that opportunity taken from them.
But by seeing the future as a big windshield overflowing with potential and possibilities surely gives us a reason to bounce out of bed each morning?
I hope that your rear view mirror doesn't hold you back and that your windshield is free from cracks and is clear!!
Until my next post,
Cheers 😁
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