I am a teacher living in Bendigo, Australia.
I am passionate about sport, and love to do something energetic every day. Music is another passion, as I always have some playing no matter what I am doing.
My interests in teaching include technology, numeracy, phys ed and exploring ways of learning.
I approach everything in a positive manner and get frustrated with pessimists!
I love writing and reflecting back on the things that happen to me.
I'd like to share a post with you all that occurred 4 years ago when my wife and I were on a cruise that took in the Canary Islands.
Funchal is one of the Islands as you can see on the map, the main ones are to the south.
You might recall they have been in the news the past few months due to the huge volcanic eruption.
Such a beautiful part of the world, we visited a number of the islands.
Anyway, back to Funchal.
All of the islands are quite mountainous, with many cliffs extending all the way to the sea.
On Funchal, they have these wicker baskets on sleds that are driven down the streets from the top of one of these mountains.
They are driven on the roads that the cars use, and share the roads as traffic.
The road that they use is glistening smooth after so many years of these sleds travelling down the path for a few km's. When one encounters an intersection, the sleds get right of way as they are too hard to stop suddenly.
Thankfully they have a traffic guy stationed at each intersection to stop traffic, however on our descent we did have a hairy moment when the worker was a bit distracted and a car nearly came through as we were going across the intersection!!
As we did our descent we had two drivers standing on the back. For the entire trip they just talked non stop to each other, hardly worrying about what they were doing, probably as they'd do it so many times each day.
What the clips don't capture is the real speed we were going at, as it was quite fast.
On long corners they'd make the sled drift from side to side which was quite exhilarating to say the least !
Also, they'd let the speed really build up, then leave the braking to the latest moment.
The scene at the top of the mountain.
Off we go....
And further down the mountain...
This was an amazing day, probably made even more memorable by the bus trip to the really high point of the mountain. The road was so narrow and windy that at some stages I could put my hand out the window and touch the mountain, while at other times I'd look out the window and not be able to see the road as we were so close to the edge.
Maybe share that in a future post.
Well readers,
That's it for today.
For my teacher friends who are all going back to school with the kids today, I'm thinking of you all.
Especially the very kind teacher who has stepped in to look after my class for the time being while I am occupied elsewhere for a few months.
Four years ago my wife (Jen) and I were on a trip in Europe for a few weeks.
As part of this we went on a cruise, something that I doubt we'd ever do again after the Covid crisis.
We boarded in Barcelona, Spain and the trip was going to take us to various Spanish ports, Casablanca and the Canary Islands.
We never had planned to do a cruise before, so I still wonder what made us decide to do this one, Still, it was just fantastic. I'm so glad we did it, but as I said, I wouldn't do another.
Each night there was a show on in the huge theatre on board. After attending a performance one night, they announced that on the following night there was to be a hypnotist performing, and they needed 20 volunteers. Trouble was, they were struggling to get these volunteers. I just put that thought in the back of my mind.
Next night we are in the crowd for the performance, and they put out a call for more volunteers, but very few were forthcoming.
After so much dithering by the announcer I thought "Stuff this, for the sake of getting the show done I'll just volunteer" which I did, and eventually so did a few others, so we now had the number he was after.
After the hypnotist fluffed around for ages and played loud music and made us shut our eyes and stand with our hands stretched in front of us, he then decided which ones were ready to be 'taken into a new world'
I can still clearly remember every second of what happened, and can't really say that I'm convinced that I was hypnotised, as I kept peeking to see that I was doing what everyone else was doing !! I didn't want to look completely stupid !!!
He started with incredibly loud music and talking incessantly and touching us to 'check that we were viable'. Every so often he'd send one of us back to our seats as we were deemed as not 'viable'. We had to stand like this for ages and keep the pressure on our hands stretching, and trying to clear our minds of any thoughts.. I began to think that I'll just do what he says so that i can sit back down again.
Throughout this I was waiting to fall asleep or whatever happens, but I just remained aware of what he was telling us to do, as well as having a sneaky peek at the others !!
After a while we were then told to sit down on the chairs on the stage, in a row.
He then went along the row, constantly talking and put us 'to sleep'.
At this point I was sweating it out and hoping that I was doing what I was told, and was clearly aware of what was going on around me.
I just did what we were told and completely felt normal, expecting my 'hypnotism' to happen soon.
I'll point out here that I didn't feel compelled to follow his instructions, I just didn't want to look stupid by being the odd one out, hence the constant peeking!! 🙄
We were then told to do various things like put our arm around the person next to us, stroke their arms etc. Still not convinced at this stage !!!
At this point I was feeling quite uncomfortable but still went along with everything. I didn't feel 'hypnotised' or anything, I was still waiting for it to happen.
Were others feeling the same as I was ? Who knows !!
More 'evidence' of my hypnotism !
I know I'm sounding like the biggest skeptic of all time here, and I can hear you saying "Why didn't you just stop, or call him out?"
I just felt at the time "Go with it and just look convincing"
The next clip is a bit longer, about 14 mins.
I'm still a massive skeptic, as I wasn't sure what I was meant to be doing at times, or whether my eyes were meant to be open or not.
I was really starting to consider whispering to the people either side of me "Do you reckon this is for real or not?"
Regardless, I soldiered on.
At the very end he gave us a final command, that when Dave the show announcer mentioned a certain phrase (it sounded like Christopher Cress ?? I forget it now) a few of us would jump up in our seats and scream out
"I do believe in fairies"
How fortunate that I was selected to do this !!
We then went back to our seats and the first thing I said to Jen was "I reckon this hypnotism is Bull$%#@"
After the show finished and Dave the announcer was doing his thing, and then he said the magic phrase. I wasn't going to do my fairy scream and just sat for a second or two, but then the others all did it, so I jumped up and did it too..
Jen was flabbergasted and in hysterics.
To this day I remain unconvinced, Jen feels otherwise. I told her I only did it because the others did, and that there was nothing compelling me to do it.
As we walked out the 'hypnotist' was at the door selling his CD's (of course he was )
I asked to have a photo with him, and as Jen took the photo she said to him "My husband said this was just B#$%&@#"
To which he replied, "They all do, but they are wrong"
Hmmmm
Well Readers,
It was a great cruise, hilarious night and a most memorable trip to a beautiful part of the world. We have been so lucky to have been able to have done these things when we could.
As we were entering Queenstown ( the crazy sports capital of the world !) we went past a Bungee Jump operating from a bridge over a river.
Straight away, and obviously without thinking, I said "I'm doing that".
When we got to our hotel I got online and made a booking, and made sure I paid straight away. I was given the option to "think about it until tomorrow", but I knew I'd wimp out if I didn't pay on the spot.
The next morning came around so quickly, and I doubt if I had much sleep that night.
It's at this point I must confess that I have a terrible fear of heights. Even standing on the bath mat can be a challenge!!!
Years ago when driving across the West Gate Bridge in Melbourne, I'd always take the inside lanes so that I was nowhere near the edge !!
Another person on this trip asked to come along as he was making a documentary about why people take on difficult tasks and risks, and was wondering if he could film my jump.
No worries I thought, might be the last thing I do !!
So we are off on a mini bus with a few other people from England who were doing their first jump too.
I'd say the scariest bit was walking out onto the bridge to do the jump, that was enough for me, but as I was committed, I soldiered on.
I'll let the clip tell the story, but two things that have stayed crystal clear from this experience are:
1. Standing on the small ledge just before the jump. I was holding on to a small handle with my right hand. They said they would count down from 3, I was to let go, then jump. I knew that if I didn't do it first time, I'd never do it. Also, at the last minute, a worker said to do a big dive forward rather than a pin drop, as it's even more exciting.
2. The silence of the jump. If this makes sense, the silence was perfect, and so clear.
Without further waffle, here it is...
So what did I learn from this?
I am still shocking with heights, but it hasn't stopped me from taking on the challenge of going up tall structures.
It gave me a new resilience for taking on difficult tasks.
Whenever I'm confronted with something really challenging, I often take myself back to this experience and it helps me through.
That's it for today Readers, so until my next post...
No introduction needed by now, straight into it today!
Always check the toilet door!
It was only a few years ago and Jen and I were travelling in the north of Italy.
We were on one of the fast trains, and boy oh boy, are those trains fast!!
There is so much we could learn about fast transport and trains from the Europeans for sure.
Just look at the photo I took on one trip on one of these trains!
We were really moving on this trip.
The trains in Italy
One of the trains flying through a station.
Anyway, we were on one of these trains and just flying along smoothly. You don’t even realise you are going that fast until you focus on something close like a house or a stationary object, and then you really know you are moving.
Back to what this is about.
After an hour or so I was needing to go to the toilet, something I hate to do on trains and planes, but I needed to go.
Every so often the light outside the loo would go red, meaning it was in use.
After each use I gave it a few minutes to “breathe” before going for my turn, but someone would always beat me to it. I swear one bloke went three times while I was waiting to get my first go😫!
I eventually got there and discovered I was having a bit of trouble locking the door, and no matter what I did I just could not tell if it was locked or not.
Jen obviously saw this as she saw me opening and shutting the door a number of times as soon as I got in. I just gave her a worried look and shrugged my shoulders, as if to say “I’ll just have to hope it’s locked”.
So I’m sitting down minding my own business, when the train rocked a little, and then there was an ominous ‘click’.
I knew what was going to happen before it even started.
Ever so slowly, the door started to open, and for the life of me I could not reach it and pull it shut from where I was sitting.
Next minute, it is wide open and I’m staring down the carriage at a large number of faces staring back at me, sitting on my own throne like I was the King of Italy!
And among these faces was just one that I recognised, way down the end of the carriage.
It was Jen, who, like everyone else, saw what had happened.
What does she do?
Smiles. Then gives me a wave !
By now I’d gathered my senses ( and my pants and some level of dignity) and got the door shut again.
I now knew I couldn’t stay in there, and eventually would have to walk the length of the carriage back to my seat.
This I did, staring steadfastly ahead knowing that each passenger who witnessed this unfortunate incident was having a little giggle at my expense, as I walked past them.
I got back to our seat and tried to explain to Jen what had happened, and all she could was laugh.
She had been watching the light outside the toilet all the time, and never saw it go red at all, and was more or less expecting, and waiting for this event to occur.
Rest assured, I didn’t use the train toilets again on this trip!!
Locked in the Bank Safe
Before I became a teacher, I worked in a bank in Melbourne for a year, something that I’d always wanted to try. I ended up disliking it right from the start, but I stuck at it for the year and had some funny moments along the way.
One of these occurred on a Friday leading into a Long Weekend.
Back in 1982, banks closed their doors at 3.00pm and we continued working inside until around 5.00- 5.30
Onthis Friday afternoon the males in the branch decided to play a prank on the females, and one of them made up an excuse to get them all into the large vault at the back of the bank. I think he made them all a cuppa and put some afternoon tea in there.
Anyway, the moment they were all in there (about 5 of them) he slammed the door shut and spun the dial on the door to lock it.
We could hear them screaming good naturedly, and we were all having a good laugh on the other side.
We all knew that they'd only be in there for ten minutes due to the time lock.
After ten minutes, the code was put in, the dial was spun and we waited for the 'ding' to open the door.
And we waited.
And we waited some more.
Then we tried again to open it, no luck. Each time we had no luck we had to wait ten minutes before we could try again.
By now we could hear the females inside getting angry, because some needed the toilet, some were getting pannicky, and almost all of them had plans for the Long Weekend and were hoping to leave the branch early.
The Manager heard all the commotion and cracked it at us all, then packed his case and left, as he "had a Long Weekend to get to". He was such a dipstick, we weren't surprised he bailed out.
This left the 2nd in charge to coordinate things, and as he wasn't part of the original prank, he was sightly less than impressed too.
As time dragged on, we had to complete all the tasks for the day's work, keeping in mind that we were 5 staff members down who had work to complete too, but they were locked in the vault.
Suffice to say, the joke had worn off by now and we were all watching the Long Weekend becoming a Short Weekend.
No-one was allowed to leave until the situation was resolved, so we all had to stay.
No amount of phone calls, trying the code again or anything would work, so eventually the safe company had to come in and do a huge manual job on the door to get it to open and release the girls.
This took hours, and when they were eventually released it was close to 8.00pm !!
They could have screamed their lungs out at us as they came out of the vault, but they didn't.
It was silence. They just grabbed their things and walked out.
That silence was a killer, and it lasted well into the following week.
The last person left the branch close to 9.00pm and many had to alter or cancel their Long Weekend plans due to our failed prank.
And from then on, everyone was just a little more cautious whenever they went into the vault. You just never know when a prank might be happening !!
Paper Planes at Work
This doesn't really suggest that the paper planes were actually part of our work.
Far from it, and it almost cost me and a friend our jobs.
Towards the end of the year in 1982, I'd given notice at the bank as I was going to begin a Teaching Course in Ballarat.
As such, I got transferred from my branch in Acland St in St Kilda ( it wasn't classy then like it is now !) to the Christmas Club department at the head office in the city.
Christmas Club was a scheme where customers were issued with a little book of what looks like monopoly money, or toy cash. Amounts ranged from $2.00 to $50.00. Each time they paid some money into their account the matching amount of tickets were collected from their booklet and held by the bank. These were then sent to where I was now working. They were left with stubs in their books that were stamped by the bank as proof of payment. At Christmas they were paid back all that they had paid in during the year. It was a good way to save for Christmas.
At the Christmas Club department, my role was thrilling and exciting.
NOT !!!
All I and this other bloke (Steve) had to do was to sort the different notes into similar piles and add them up.
Yellow pile.
Pink pile.
Red pile etc.
Incredibly boring and tedious I can tell you.
At first I was eager and working fast, but Steve had to ask me to cool my jets as we would get too bored. He also said I'd understand why.
He was right.
The tickets came in at 9.00, and again at 2.00.
We usually had them counted and tallied in 2 hours, meaning we had lots of time on our hands across the day.
We'd read the papers, do crosswords, stare out the window...anything.
And then the Paper Plane idea came.
We were on about the 6th floor in Collins St, only about 200 m from the corner with Elizabeth St.
Overseas readers, you'll need to know that this is in a very busy part of the Melbourne CBD.
As we were staring aimlessly out the window one day we watched a piece of paper float down the street and land at the intersection.
"I bet we could make a paper plane get further than that " says Steve.
"For sure" I agree, and off we go making models and testing them by flying them from our window, hoping to get past Elizabeth St.
This would have been the best day at work ever !!
We must have flown more than 100 planes out our window and watched the various successes and failures with enthusiasm.
No consideration appeared to have been given to the amount of littering we were doing.
We bounced out of work that night, eager for what the next day was promising !!
I'm sure the next morning was one of the very few where I actually looked forward to going to work, as I had big ambitions for my planes that day.
Until Steve and I both got a phone call within ten seconds of each one from the big bosses downstairs who demanded to see us both...NOW !!!
Apparently we had been dobbed in by workers from the tax office across the road, who had been watching us throughout the previous day.
Steve was given a huge spray and put on probation, and told he was lucky to have a job with the bank. He was sent back to a branch the next day (probably one that was only 1 level high !)
Then they turned towards me.
I was told in pretty much the same manner that they wished they could sack me, but couldn't as I'd already given notice and was finishing at the end of that week anyway.
I just had to complete all the Christmas Club work on my own for the rest of the week, which wasn't that bad as doing double the work actually filled my days again.
And what did Steve and I do on our last day together?
At the end of the day we went out onto the balcony outside our room, each with a paper plane.
We paused and had a long look at the tax office opposite, held our planes proudly in the air, and launched them with a huge cheer and fist pump.
I still wonder if they saw our last act of defiance, but it felt good.
Well Readers,
That might be the last of my "Life' stories, or they just might continue !
I'll just get straight into it today, some more anecdotes from no particular era of my life.
I just hope it prompts you to recollect some of your own with family and friends. With everything going on around us you just might appreciate doing it before the opportunity passes by.
Embarrassing Runs (1)
While the point of exercising is to feel good, and hopefully look a bit better, this is not always the case.
You know as well as I do that some people can make exercise look like an effortless activity, while others can look like they are always one step away from being 6 feet underground!!
Others can look just plain stupid, which is the case for me in this story.😖
I can happily retell stories such as this as I have no shame about it, as it was something that actually happened and I can't change that.
I still cringe about it, but also have a laugh too whenever it is brought up.
I was living in Ballarat at the time and I must have been around 28-30 years of age.
Running up one of the main streets, Mair St, I paused at a red light at the top of a long incline.
As I patiently waited for the lights to change, I could see out of the corner of my eye a group of women just a bit younger than me approaching from my left.
I kept my gaze fixed forward.
Next minute I hear a few wolf whistles from the group, but ignored them.
This happened twice more, so, without looking sideways, I slowly lifted the side of my running shorts to show a bit more leg, and gave a little 'sexy wiggle", all the while refraining from making eye contact.
There was a bit of giggling, and a few more whistles, so I upped the ante and put more effort and gyration into my movements.
Not quite what I was like, but not far from it !!
More laughing and whistles, and I was feeling pretty impressed with myself !!
Very soon I realised I had peaked too early, as I then heard laughter and whistles coming from my right, and a similar group of women approaching.
It suddenly dawned on me that they weren't whistling at me, but to each other, and I was caught in the middle !!!!😩
The two groups gradually got closer and closer and merged into one group and waited to cross the road with me.
Those few seconds seemed like an eternity as I stared steadfastly ahead and did all that I could to ignore the giggles and glances they were giving me.
They must have thought I was an absolute goose, and I definitely felt like one!
Be assured, that the second those lights turned green I was off like a shot and away from those women.
I can still hear their giggles as I took off, and can only wonder what they must have thought of me as they approached the intersection !!!!
Embarrassing Runs (2)
In a previous post I mentioned that I often ran with a special running pram around Ballarat.
Loved it.
Back in the day, in a local paper there was a page called "Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down"
Thiswas a forum for concerned citizens of Ballarat to either congratulate or castigate various businesses, people or organisations throughout the region.
Comments were always short and to the point, and it was always much more enjoyable reading the 'Thumbs Down' comments, as so often they would focus on such minor issues, such as a rooster crowing, or people having dirty cars, or kids not tucking their school shirts in.
I kid you not!!
Anyway, let me give you the back story first.
I was out running with the pram with one of our boys.
I came to a level crossing that had a pedestrian access as well.
Picture it. The lights are flashing and the bells are dinging, and I'm waiting patiently for the train to come.
And waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting !!!
After quite a few minutes of patiently waiting, I began to get impatient.
The crossing was on a very long, straight stretch of track and I had clear vision each way for a few hundred metres at least.
Leaving the pram behind me, I stepped onto the crossing and looked and listened both ways.
Nothing!
Back to the pram, and across we go, ten or so steps and we are across the tracks and on our way again.
The same was done by a few people before me, but I was the only one with a child.
The rest of the run went smoothly and we got home safe and sound.
No problem.
Until a week later.
My wife Jenny was browsing through the local paper and inevitably came to "Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down"
"Listen to this" she says, "There's no way that you would do this".
She then read out a Thumbs Down comment, which went pretty much like this:
Thumbs down to the young jogger who went through a railway crossing recently while the bells and gates were activated. Worse still, the jogger was pushing a pram with a young child.
"Umm, aahh, errr...Yep. I'd say that was me" I nervously replied, as it was still fresh in my mind !!
The stare said more than any words. I knew how cranky she was with me and I had no defence. I could have tried the "I checked and no trains were coming" but I knew I was cooked.
After reassuring Jen that this would never occur again, I thought that was the end of it.
Until I went for further runs in the subsequent days with the pram.
As I went around the lake where so many other joggers went, I could feel the blazing stare from so many people and occasionally the comment "I bet that was him"
I could tell that they were referring to the "Crossing Incident" , and it really showed how many people read "Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down"
Even my friends gave me heaps about it, they just couldn't believe what I had done.
One positive however that I said to Jen was that it good to be referred to as a 'young jogger". Somehow she didn't see the funny side of that !!
I was at the same crossing a few days later with the pram, and the gates closed and the bells started to ding.
Rest assured, this time I waited.
Well Readers,
Just a few more ramblings, and my next post will be similar, as the more I write about them, more just come back to haunt me !!
After getting so many new readers over the past few days I have been umming and aahing about what to write about next.
So often there is a mental blank, other times there are a multitude of things.
At first I was going to write about "School", because as you know by now, I'm a teacher and have spent the best part of 50 years at school! Plus, all of you have been to school, so you would no doubt relate to some of it and have stories of your own to share. Everyone seems to be an expert on schools because everyone has been there!!
But then, I have also worked in another industry, and have a funny story to share about my time there, and that also means those of you from other professions could share your stories.
So I thought about calling it "Work".
But then I wanted to share some stories that weren't work related, so I'm just calling this post "LIfe".
They are just more of my ramblings about funny, stupid and embarrassing things that I have done, been involved with or witnessed over my 58 years.
More to the point, I hope they jolt some of your own memories that you will then share with friends and family, or maybe even add to the comments section below!!! You'll be amazed how thinking about certain memories will then trigger recollections of other memories. You can't help it!!
It happens to me, and in my current situation with lots of time on my hands and needing to keep busy, this is why I'm blogging..
I must mention at this point why I began blogging.
Many years ago I was teaching a class, and one of the kids said:
"We are doing this writing, and only you and maybe 1 or 2 other people might read it, so why bother?"
I had been telling them to remember that they are not just writing for themselves but for an audience, but in reality, their audience was fairly limited.
My interest in blogging had been piqued a few months earlier, but I hadn't seen a need to do it. This was the perfect situation, so we then hooked up to a safe blogging site for kids and soon they were putting their own writing up for others to see.
Keep in mind though, that we strictly followed all safety and privacy protocols here.
Soon they were seeing their work being read by people in other countries, and their attitude towards writing just took off from here.
So did mine, and this is the legacy!! Sorry!!!!!
So, in no particular order, here I go...
Tongue Twisters
This happened to me last year in my Gr 5 class. I was fortunate enough to have had a group for the 6 months that I was with them who were so responsive to encouragement and having a go at things no matter what. They were risk takers, and I definitely encouraged and promoted this, sometimes to my own detriment as this story will show.
We were doing some work on tongue twisters, and I noticed what looked like a Mexican Wave of giggling going around the room. One girl in particular kept getting called over by others, and shortly after I could see them rolling around in laughter.
Not being one who likes a silent classroom (much to the chagrin of other teachers throughout my career 😖 ) I knew I had created this situation, so I couldn't blame them for what they were up to.
I looked at this girl and raised my eyebrows as if to say "What is going on?".
She just shrugged and gave a cheeky smile and walked towards me.
😇
"I'm just sharing a tongue twister Mr K"
"Great" I said, "I'd love to hear it"
The rest of the class went silent, so I knew something was going on.
This girl came over to me and said again, "It's just a tongue twister"
"Great. Try it on me" A slight giggle went through the room, and a number of other kids came and joined her around me.
She says, "Mr K, it's a tongue twister that I need to write down, and then you say it as fast as you can as many times as you can. Are you sure you want to try it?"
"Yep. No worries!!"
She then writes it down on a piece of paper and gives it to me. I look at it and think "This seems harmless"
It's amazing how things look easy enough to say when you look at them on paper. When you say them, things can change!
I then say it about 3 times and straight away realise she has got me. The whole class explodes in laughter, and so do I. She wasn't doing it to be rude or anything, it was just funny at the time. I could have played the bad cop and said it was unacceptable etc, but this would have destroyed the trust we had built up.
I asked for it and I copped it!!!
Try it for yourself and see how you go.
And what did she write?????
She sits, She sells.
Don't suck on your pencil!
This is another story from school (remember, we've all been there), back in my boarding school days when I was around 17-18.
Each night the boarders would have to go to various classrooms for what was called 'Study'.
Basically, this was when you did your homework.
In Year 11 and 12 we would go from 5.:30-6:00, have a break for tea. Then we'd do 7:00-8:15, have a 15 min break then go again from 8:30 - 9:45.
Anything extra you did from there was up to you.
All the Year 11's would be in a large classroom made possible by opening up the sliding doors between 3 smaller rooms. The same for the Year 12's etc. That meant we had about 100 17-18 year olds all together, surely a recipe for disaster. All the while, one of the Brothers ( the Marist Brother order who ran the school) would sit up the front and maintain super strict silence throughout every minute of study.
One night in particular, we had this super strict brother supervising. He had this habit of looking up at the slightest disturbance, survey the room and slowly suck on the end of his pen/pencil.
During the 8:15 break he left the room for a few minutes, and while he was gone one of the boys ( who shall remain nameless) went up to his desk and grabbed his pencil.
He then shoved it down the back of his pants and rubbed it around a bit then placed it back exactly where it had been.
The bell went to recommence study, and just about everyone was in on the deed.
Little noises were being deliberately made to make him look up, but for some reason he was more focused on whatever he was doing.
We were all anticipating the inevitable, so the distractions became more common and more obvious.
Eventually it became too much and "the pencil perpetrator" made a noise so obvious that it could not be ignored.
Brother X looked up, demanded quiet, then slowly put the pencil in his mouth and surveyed the room.
100 sets of eyes are on him waiting to see what would happen next.
He paused, as if in deep thought, slowly removed the pencil and looked at it carefully, then placed it back on the table.
All the while each of us was staring wide eyed at him, doing our best to stifle the laughter rumbling within.
No-one dared to laugh out loud for fear of retribution or being grilled about what was funny. I'm sure that if one laughed, the rest would so without fail.
For the next hour he dared not touch his pencil and spent every second eyeballing us.
We're not sure if he knew what had actually happened, but were quite happy to know that he thought something had occurred.
Probably not the nicest story to share, but at the time it was hilarious.
And to think, I became a teacher after this!!!
Food Fight !!
A final story from boarding school.
Each morning and night we would gather to eat our meals in a large room called the Refectory, otherwise known as 'The Ref'.
Years 7-10 ate in the Junior Ref on tables of 10. There would be a mixture of year levels on each table. Years 11-12 used the Senior Ref on tables of 6.
I was in the Junior Ref when this incident happened, so I must have been in Year 9 or 10.
Just like in Study, there would be one Brother standing up the front maintaining strict control while around 200 boys had their meal. I could share stories about what was dished up, but that's for another day.
Anyway, I digress.
Everything was going smoothly at dinner one night when suddenly, and without warning, the lights went out.
All was quiet for a few moments until someone screamed out "FOOD FIGHT"!!!
Instantly there was food flying everywhere, we were just tossing whatever we could get our hands on in any direction. As it was pitch black, there was no way of knowing who you were throwing it at, or what was coming at you.
Above this we could hear the deep voice of the Brother screaming at us to stop.
Just as quickly as the lights went off, they came back on again.
What a sight.
Food hanging off walls, pictures, doors, faces...you name it, there was food all over it.
And a Brother standing out the. front covered in food as well.
No reasonable target was missed!!!!!
And 200 silent boarders who were now waiting to see what the response from the Brother would be.
He let rip. I can't remember exactly what he said, but be assured he was less than impressed!!!
After his blast, we were then told to get down to cleaning up the massive mess we had made, and rightly so.
Since he couldn't lay the blame on the nameless individual who called for it, we all had to be punished. A few who complained that weren't involved had no luck. It was all in.
If you have read or seen the movie "Lord of the Flies", that was us.
Ironically, we were studying it that year in English.
To this day I can't put my finger on what made us all join in so quickly and readily.
Maybe there was less fear of the level of punishment, because they couldn't give us all the cane (another story!)
Rest assured, when we all lined up for dinner the next night, there was more than one Brother on supervising duty.
And I'd be certain that the electricity had been checked during the day!!!!
The Cane
After leaving Primary school where "The Strap" was commonplace from the Nuns who ran the school ( and I like many others copped a fair share of it) it seemed that part of growing up was to graduate to "The Cane".
I noticed that many of the Brothers carried one with them at all times.
That was weird I thought, what do they need it for?
I soon found out.
In the dormitories (dorms) where we slept there were 3-4 long rows of beds with a small cupboard in between each bed. Each row was more than 10 beds long.
Each morning, a radio would begin playing at 7.00 am to wake us up.
In my first few days as a boarder I woke up early and so did the boy in the bed next to me (in another bed, not mine!!!!!!) We were having a quiet chat while waiting for the radio to go off, as you weren't allowed to get up before the radio.
The dorm master ( a Brother) came out of his own little room and cut loose on us. He made us go and stand outside in our pyjamas. After about half an hour we were pretty cold and nervous, and along come Brother X, carrying a cane.
"Bend over" he barks.
WHACK, WHACK. WHACK !!!! 3 across the bum. The worst thing was not knowing how may you were going to get. And it hurts!!!! As we were only in thin pyjamas, plus it was a cold morning, it only made it even more painful.
"Now you might remember not to talk before the radio" he snarled, but with a weird grin on his face, as if he actually enjoyed what he was doing.
Later that day we played football, and as we were getting stripped to play, our team mates saw what our backsides looked like. 3 massive bruises each that would have made Adidas proud.
Needless to say our coach was not impressed to see his players turning up for games carrying the effects of a good caning.
I don't think I've ever forgiven that Brother, he could have just said that there was 5 minutes to wait for the radio. Little wonder another mate got expelled a few weeks later for belting him in the face after being called into his little room. We never found out what really happened there.
But my next caning story is humorous as much as it is depressing.
We were in the dorm one night mucking around, and our good friend Anthony 'Roll" O'Meara (RIP) was being his usual raucous self.
In the middle of his antics he let go an "F Bomb", and unfortunately the dorm master (another Brother) overheard it and came over to where we were.
"Anthony, did you just say the F word" ? he asks. Oddly, with a grin on his face as he could see that it was an honest mistake and just part of the fun we were having.
"Yep" says Roll. "Sorry".
"Okay Anthony, bend over" says Brother X (who we all actually liked, and still do)
"What ?" says Roll.
""You swore Anthony, I'll have to give you one" Says X
So Roll begrudgingly bends over, X takes a swing and gives him a good one right across the backside.
"F*%K" screams Roll as the cane hits him!!!! 🤬
We all just collapsed laughing at this, as did Brother X. He was now going to get another one for what he said in the first place !!! Which he did, but this time he bit his lip.
We couldn't quite fathom how Brother X could give him that first one in such a good natured way, but boy were we anticipating something from the next one, which unfortunately Roll did not deliver.
Getting the cane was a fairly common punishment back in those days, we laugh at it now, bit not so much then.
