Life !! Part 1

Hi Readers,

After getting so many new readers over the past few days I have been umming and aahing about what to write about next.

So often there is a mental blank, other times there are a multitude of things.

At first I was going to write about "School", because as you know by now, I'm a teacher and have spent the best part of 50 years at school! Plus, all of you have been to school, so you would no doubt relate to some of it and have stories of your own to share. Everyone seems to be an expert on schools because everyone has been there!!

But then, I have also worked in another industry, and have a funny story to share about my time there, and that also means those of you from other professions could share your stories.

So I thought about calling it "Work".

But then I wanted to share some stories that weren't work related, so I'm just calling this post "LIfe".

They are just more of my ramblings about funny, stupid and embarrassing things that I have done, been involved with or witnessed over my 58 years.

More to the point, I hope they jolt some of your own memories that you will then share with friends and family, or maybe even add to the comments section below!!! You'll be amazed how thinking about certain memories will then trigger recollections of other memories. You can't help it!!

It happens to me, and in my current situation with lots of time on my hands and needing to keep busy, this is why I'm blogging..

I must mention at this point why I began blogging.

Many years ago I was teaching a class, and one of the kids said:

"We are doing this writing, and only you and maybe 1 or 2 other people might read it, so why bother?"

 I had been telling them to remember that they are not just writing for themselves but for an audience, but in reality, their audience was fairly limited.

My interest in blogging had been piqued a few months earlier, but I hadn't seen a need to do it. This was the perfect situation, so we then hooked up to a safe blogging site for kids and soon they were putting their own writing up for others to see.

Keep in mind though, that we strictly followed all safety and privacy protocols here.

Soon they were seeing their work being read by people in other countries, and their attitude towards writing just took off from here.

So did mine, and this is the legacy!!  Sorry!!!!!

So, in no particular order, here I go...

Tongue Twisters

This happened to me last year in my Gr 5 class. I was fortunate enough to have had a group for the 6 months that I was with them who were so responsive to encouragement and having a go at things no matter what. They were risk takers, and I definitely encouraged and promoted this, sometimes to my own detriment as this story will show.

We were doing some work on tongue twisters, and I noticed what looked like a Mexican Wave of giggling going around the room. One girl in particular kept getting called over by others, and shortly after I could see them rolling around in laughter.

Not being one who likes a silent classroom (much to the chagrin of other teachers throughout my career 😖 ) I knew I had created this situation, so I couldn't blame them for what they were up to.

I looked at this girl and raised my eyebrows as if to say "What is going on?".

She just shrugged and gave a cheeky smile and walked towards me.

😇

"I'm just sharing a tongue twister Mr K"

"Great" I said, "I'd love to hear it"

The rest of the class went silent, so I knew something was going on.

This girl came over to me and said again, "It's just a tongue twister"

"Great. Try it on me" A slight giggle went through the room, and a number of other kids came and joined her around me.

She says, "Mr K, it's a tongue twister that I need to write down, and then you say it as fast as you can as many times as you can. Are you sure you want to try it?"

"Yep. No worries!!"

She then writes it down on a piece of paper and gives it to me. I look at it and think "This seems harmless"

It's amazing how things look easy enough to say when you look at them on paper. When you say them, things can change!

I then say it about 3 times and straight away realise she has got me. The whole class explodes in laughter, and so do I. She wasn't doing it to be rude or anything, it was just funny at the time. I could have played the bad cop and said it was unacceptable etc, but this would have destroyed the trust we had built up. 

I asked for it and I copped it!!!

Try it for yourself and see how you go.

And what did she write?????

She sits, She sells.

Don't suck on your pencil!

This is another story from school (remember, we've all been there), back in my boarding school days when I was around 17-18.

Each night the boarders would have to go to various classrooms for what was called 'Study'.

Basically, this was when you did your homework.

In Year 11 and 12 we would go from 5.:30-6:00, have a break for tea. Then we'd do 7:00-8:15, have a 15 min break then go again from 8:30 - 9:45.

Anything extra you did from there was up to you.

All the Year 11's would be in a large classroom made possible by opening up the sliding doors between 3 smaller rooms. The same for the Year 12's etc. That meant we had about 100 17-18 year olds all together, surely a recipe for disaster. All the while, one of the Brothers ( the Marist Brother order who ran the school) would sit up the front and maintain super strict silence throughout every minute of study.

One night in particular, we had this super strict brother supervising. He had this habit of looking up at the slightest disturbance, survey the room and slowly suck on the end of his pen/pencil.

During the 8:15 break he left the room for a few minutes, and while he was gone one of the boys ( who shall remain nameless) went up to his desk and grabbed his pencil.

He then shoved it down the back of his pants and rubbed it around a bit then placed it back exactly where it had been.

The bell went to recommence study, and just about everyone was in on the deed.

Little noises were being deliberately made to make him look up, but for some reason he was more focused on whatever he was doing.

We were all anticipating the inevitable, so the distractions became more common and more obvious.

Eventually it became too much and "the pencil perpetrator" made a noise so obvious that it could not be ignored.

Brother X looked up, demanded quiet, then slowly put the pencil in his mouth and surveyed the room.

100 sets of eyes are on him waiting to see what would happen next.

He paused, as if in deep thought, slowly removed the pencil and looked at it carefully, then placed it back on the table.

All the while each of us was staring wide eyed at him, doing our best to stifle the laughter rumbling within.

No-one dared to laugh out loud for fear of retribution or being grilled about what was funny. I'm sure that if one laughed, the rest would so without fail.

For the next hour he dared not touch his pencil and spent every second eyeballing us.

We're not sure if he knew what had actually happened, but were quite happy to know that he thought something had occurred.

Probably not the nicest story to share, but at the time it was hilarious.

And to think, I became a teacher after this!!!

Food Fight !!

A final story from boarding school.

Each morning and night we would gather to eat our meals in a large room called the Refectory, otherwise known as 'The Ref'.

Years 7-10 ate in the Junior Ref on tables of 10. There would be a mixture of year levels on each table. Years 11-12 used the Senior Ref on tables of 6.

I was in the Junior Ref when this incident happened, so I must have been in Year 9 or 10.

Just like in Study, there would be one Brother standing up the front maintaining strict control while around 200 boys had their meal. I could share stories about what was dished up, but that's for another day.

Anyway, I digress.

Everything was going smoothly at dinner one night when suddenly, and without warning, the lights went out.

All was quiet for a few moments until someone screamed out "FOOD FIGHT"!!!

Instantly there was food flying everywhere, we were just tossing whatever we could get our hands on in any direction. As it was pitch black, there was no way of knowing who you were throwing it at, or what was coming at you.

Noise!! Screaming!! Laughing!! Mayhem !! Anarchy!!!

Above this we could hear the deep voice of the Brother screaming at us to stop.

Just as quickly as the lights went off, they came back on again.

What a sight.

Food hanging off walls, pictures, doors, faces...you name it, there was food all over it.

And a Brother standing out the. front covered in food as well. 

No reasonable target was missed!!!!!

And 200 silent boarders who were now waiting to see what the response from the Brother would be.

He let rip. I can't remember exactly what he said, but be assured he was less than impressed!!!

After his blast, we were then told to get down to cleaning up the massive mess we had made, and rightly so.

Since he couldn't lay the blame on the nameless individual who called for it, we all had to be punished. A few who complained that weren't involved had no luck. It was all in.

If you have read or seen the movie "Lord of the Flies", that was us.

Ironically, we were studying it that year in English.

To this day I can't put my finger on what made us all join in so quickly and readily. 

Maybe there was less fear of the level of punishment, because they couldn't give us all the cane (another story!)

Rest assured, when we all lined up for dinner the next night, there was more than one Brother on supervising duty.

And I'd be certain that the electricity had been checked during the day!!!!

The Cane

After leaving Primary school where "The Strap" was commonplace from the Nuns who ran the school ( and I like many others copped a fair share of it) it seemed that part of growing up was to graduate to "The Cane".

I noticed that many of the Brothers carried one with them at all times.

That was weird I thought, what do they need it for?

I soon found out.

In the dormitories (dorms) where we slept there were 3-4 long rows of beds with a small cupboard in between each bed. Each row was more than 10 beds long.

Each morning, a radio would begin playing at 7.00 am to wake us up.

In my first few days as a boarder I woke up early and so did the boy in the bed next to me (in another bed, not mine!!!!!!) We were having a quiet chat while waiting for the radio to go off, as you weren't allowed to get up before the radio.

The dorm master ( a Brother) came out of his own little room and cut loose on us. He made us go and stand outside in our pyjamas. After about half an hour we were pretty cold and nervous, and along come Brother X, carrying a cane.

"Bend over" he barks. 

WHACK, WHACK. WHACK !!!! 3 across the bum. The worst thing was not knowing how may you were going to get. And it hurts!!!! As we were only in thin pyjamas, plus it was a cold morning, it only made it even more painful.

"Now you might remember not to talk before the radio" he snarled, but with a weird grin on his face, as if he actually enjoyed what he was doing. 

Later that day we played football, and as we were getting stripped to play, our team mates saw what our backsides looked like. 3 massive bruises each that would have made Adidas proud.

Needless to say our coach was not impressed to see his players turning up for games carrying the effects of a good caning.

I don't think I've ever forgiven that Brother, he could have just said that there was 5 minutes to wait for the radio. Little wonder another mate got expelled a few weeks later for belting him in the face after being called into his little room. We never found out what really happened there.

But my next caning story is humorous as much as it is depressing.

We were in the dorm one night mucking around, and our good friend Anthony 'Roll" O'Meara (RIP) was being his usual raucous self.

In the middle of his antics he let go an "F Bomb", and unfortunately the dorm master (another Brother) overheard it and came over to where we were.

"Anthony, did you just say the F word" ? he asks. Oddly, with a grin on his face as he could see that it was an honest mistake and just part of the fun we were having.

"Yep" says Roll. "Sorry".

"Okay Anthony, bend over" says Brother X (who we all actually liked, and still do)

"What ?" says Roll.

""You swore Anthony, I'll have to give you one" Says X

So Roll begrudgingly bends over, X takes a swing and gives him a good one right across the backside.

"F*%K"   screams Roll as the cane hits him!!!! 🤬

We all just collapsed laughing at this, as did Brother X. He was now going to get another one for what he said in the first place !!! Which he did, but this time he bit his lip.

We couldn't quite fathom how Brother X could give him that first one in such a good natured way, but boy were we anticipating something from the next one, which unfortunately Roll did not deliver.

Getting the cane was a fairly common punishment back in those days, we laugh at it now, bit not so much then.

Unless it was when Roll drops an F Bomb 😂

Once again Readers, I could go on and on.

Which I will in my next posts on "Life".

Until my next post,

Cheers 😀