Life…Part 3
No introduction needed by now, straight into it today!
Always check the toilet door!
It was only a few years ago and Jen and I were travelling in the north of Italy.
We were on one of the fast trains, and boy oh boy, are those trains fast!!
There is so much we could learn about fast transport and trains from the Europeans for sure.
Just look at the photo I took on one trip on one of these trains!
We were really moving on this trip.
The trains in Italy
One of the trains flying through a station.
Back to what this is about.
After an hour or so I was needing to go to the toilet, something I hate to do on trains and planes, but I needed to go.
Every so often the light outside the loo would go red, meaning it was in use.
After each use I gave it a few minutes to “breathe” before going for my turn, but someone would always beat me to it. I swear one bloke went three times while I was waiting to get my first go😫!
I eventually got there and discovered I was having a bit of trouble locking the door, and no matter what I did I just could not tell if it was locked or not.
Jen obviously saw this as she saw me opening and shutting the door a number of times as soon as I got in. I just gave her a worried look and shrugged my shoulders, as if to say “I’ll just have to hope it’s locked”.
So I’m sitting down minding my own business, when the train rocked a little, and then there was an ominous ‘click’.
I knew what was going to happen before it even started.
Ever so slowly, the door started to open, and for the life of me I could not reach it and pull it shut from where I was sitting.
Next minute, it is wide open and I’m staring down the carriage at a large number of faces staring back at me, sitting on my own throne like I was the King of Italy!
And among these faces was just one that I recognised, way down the end of the carriage.
It was Jen, who, like everyone else, saw what had happened.
What does she do?
Smiles. Then gives me a wave !
By now I’d gathered my senses ( and my pants and some level of dignity) and got the door shut again.
I now knew I couldn’t stay in there, and eventually would have to walk the length of the carriage back to my seat.
This I did, staring steadfastly ahead knowing that each passenger who witnessed this unfortunate incident was having a little giggle at my expense, as I walked past them.
I got back to our seat and tried to explain to Jen what had happened, and all she could was laugh.
She had been watching the light outside the toilet all the time, and never saw it go red at all, and was more or less expecting, and waiting for this event to occur.
Rest assured, I didn’t use the train toilets again on this trip!!
Locked in the Bank Safe
Before I became a teacher, I worked in a bank in Melbourne for a year, something that I’d always wanted to try. I ended up disliking it right from the start, but I stuck at it for the year and had some funny moments along the way.
One of these occurred on a Friday leading into a Long Weekend.
Back in 1982, banks closed their doors at 3.00pm and we continued working inside until around 5.00- 5.30
On this Friday afternoon the males in the branch decided to play a prank on the females, and one of them made up an excuse to get them all into the large vault at the back of the bank. I think he made them all a cuppa and put some afternoon tea in there.
Anyway, the moment they were all in there (about 5 of them) he slammed the door shut and spun the dial on the door to lock it.
We could hear them screaming good naturedly, and we were all having a good laugh on the other side.
We all knew that they'd only be in there for ten minutes due to the time lock.
After ten minutes, the code was put in, the dial was spun and we waited for the 'ding' to open the door.
And we waited.
And we waited some more.
Then we tried again to open it, no luck. Each time we had no luck we had to wait ten minutes before we could try again.
By now we could hear the females inside getting angry, because some needed the toilet, some were getting pannicky, and almost all of them had plans for the Long Weekend and were hoping to leave the branch early.
The Manager heard all the commotion and cracked it at us all, then packed his case and left, as he "had a Long Weekend to get to". He was such a dipstick, we weren't surprised he bailed out.
This left the 2nd in charge to coordinate things, and as he wasn't part of the original prank, he was sightly less than impressed too.
As time dragged on, we had to complete all the tasks for the day's work, keeping in mind that we were 5 staff members down who had work to complete too, but they were locked in the vault.
Suffice to say, the joke had worn off by now and we were all watching the Long Weekend becoming a Short Weekend.
No-one was allowed to leave until the situation was resolved, so we all had to stay.
No amount of phone calls, trying the code again or anything would work, so eventually the safe company had to come in and do a huge manual job on the door to get it to open and release the girls.
This took hours, and when they were eventually released it was close to 8.00pm !!
They could have screamed their lungs out at us as they came out of the vault, but they didn't.
It was silence. They just grabbed their things and walked out.
That silence was a killer, and it lasted well into the following week.
The last person left the branch close to 9.00pm and many had to alter or cancel their Long Weekend plans due to our failed prank.
And from then on, everyone was just a little more cautious whenever they went into the vault. You just never know when a prank might be happening !!
Paper Planes at Work
Far from it, and it almost cost me and a friend our jobs.
Towards the end of the year in 1982, I'd given notice at the bank as I was going to begin a Teaching Course in Ballarat.
As such, I got transferred from my branch in Acland St in St Kilda ( it wasn't classy then like it is now !) to the Christmas Club department at the head office in the city.
Christmas Club was a scheme where customers were issued with a little book of what looks like monopoly money, or toy cash. Amounts ranged from $2.00 to $50.00. Each time they paid some money into their account the matching amount of tickets were collected from their booklet and held by the bank. These were then sent to where I was now working. They were left with stubs in their books that were stamped by the bank as proof of payment. At Christmas they were paid back all that they had paid in during the year. It was a good way to save for Christmas.
At the Christmas Club department, my role was thrilling and exciting.
NOT !!!
All I and this other bloke (Steve) had to do was to sort the different notes into similar piles and add them up.
Yellow pile.
Pink pile.
Red pile etc.
Incredibly boring and tedious I can tell you.
At first I was eager and working fast, but Steve had to ask me to cool my jets as we would get too bored. He also said I'd understand why.
He was right.
The tickets came in at 9.00, and again at 2.00.
We usually had them counted and tallied in 2 hours, meaning we had lots of time on our hands across the day.
We'd read the papers, do crosswords, stare out the window...anything.
And then the Paper Plane idea came.
We were on about the 6th floor in Collins St, only about 200 m from the corner with Elizabeth St.
Overseas readers, you'll need to know that this is in a very busy part of the Melbourne CBD.
As we were staring aimlessly out the window one day we watched a piece of paper float down the street and land at the intersection.
"I bet we could make a paper plane get further than that " says Steve.
"For sure" I agree, and off we go making models and testing them by flying them from our window, hoping to get past Elizabeth St.
This would have been the best day at work ever !!
We must have flown more than 100 planes out our window and watched the various successes and failures with enthusiasm.
No consideration appeared to have been given to the amount of littering we were doing.
We bounced out of work that night, eager for what the next day was promising !!
I'm sure the next morning was one of the very few where I actually looked forward to going to work, as I had big ambitions for my planes that day.
Until Steve and I both got a phone call within ten seconds of each one from the big bosses downstairs who demanded to see us both...NOW !!!
Apparently we had been dobbed in by workers from the tax office across the road, who had been watching us throughout the previous day.
Steve was given a huge spray and put on probation, and told he was lucky to have a job with the bank. He was sent back to a branch the next day (probably one that was only 1 level high !)
Then they turned towards me.
I was told in pretty much the same manner that they wished they could sack me, but couldn't as I'd already given notice and was finishing at the end of that week anyway.
I just had to complete all the Christmas Club work on my own for the rest of the week, which wasn't that bad as doing double the work actually filled my days again.
And what did Steve and I do on our last day together?
At the end of the day we went out onto the balcony outside our room, each with a paper plane.
We paused and had a long look at the tax office opposite, held our planes proudly in the air, and launched them with a huge cheer and fist pump.
I still wonder if they saw our last act of defiance, but it felt good.
Well Readers,
That might be the last of my "Life' stories, or they just might continue !
Until my next post...
Cheers 😁
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