Being Positive

Hi Readers,

I had a few ideas to write about today, but couldn't choose which one to use.

What a problem to have !

So, last night I was reading a book by Ant Middleton, and something he discussed has prompted this post today. And while I was just out walking the streets of Melbourne I was listening to 'The Imperfects' podcast, and something that they were talking about matched identically to what Ant Middleton was mentioning in his chapter last night.

How coincidental !! Or maybe it was just meant to be.

I've always considered myself a fairly positive person who generally looks for the upside of every situation. When things are down or a problem has occurred or is surfacing, rather than dwell on the negativities I find it much easier to focus on the possibilities.

I don't know why or where this attitude came from, but to me it just seems to save time and energy when one doesn't dwell on things that we have no control over. Much of it might also come from all the sport I have been involved in over the years. In football there was no benefit in stressing about things that had already happened in the game, as we could not change that. BUT... we could influence what happens next and have some control over it due to just having a positive approach and mindset. Not always successful, but at least it always meant we had a better chance.

Secondly, I did a lot of running back in the day and the same approach got me through many marathons and long runs. A focus on what was possible, rather than what has already been done meant I was able to achieve much more than I might have anticipated.

So, what did Ant write that really struck a chord with me ?

He talks about turning your weaknesses into strengths, and how if we never challenge our own weaknesses we may never know the full potential of our strengths.

If we just focus on what we are good at all the time, we are foregoing the opportunity of developing even more strengths by not trying to become better at things that we are not so confident at.

Sounds easy, doesn't it ? And safe.

Why would we bother trying things that we are weak at when we know what the result usually is? Better to stick with what we know?

He compares this approach to only eating Maccas every day. Easy, relatively cheap and immediately satisfying ( his words, not mine !!)

Over time though, it's not as nutritious and satisfying as a meal that we may have spent a great deal of time preparing.

I experienced this and wrote about it in a previous post where I spoke about my late sister, and when he mentioned it I was immediately thinking back to those meals.

You might need to go and read that post to get my drift.

He also goes on to explain that we often tend to direct more of our energy towards the negative aspects of a situation, rather than the potential positives that can eventuate.

Could this be because it's easy to focus on what we already know, rather than direct our energies towards the unknown? 

A positive mindset does not always mean that everything will work out fine, but it sure does make things feel a lot better along the way.

I thought about things that I'm doing that are 'safe', and don't really take me out of my own comfort zone, and one of the first things that came to mind was doing this actual blog!!

What? Is he totally on the incense again?

I looked back over some of my first posts many years ago, and how I might have changed them over time, and realised that I stick to a very tame approach and just talk about things that have happened, rather than share some of my own thoughts.

By just telling you what I have done can't be denied. It happened.

But, telling you how it made me feel, or how it might have affected others is a new can of worms as it is more open to discussion and disagreement.

I don't expect everyone to agree with what I write, probably just to try and understand where I'm coming from, and to encourage some thinking on your part.

My posts over the past 9 months have changed dramatically as I've started to open up more about myself, and this is what Ant is talking about.

I've moved on from 'Maccas' and have started to 'cook some meals' so to speak.

As a result I have found a greater love for what I'm doing and how I prepare myself for my posts and how much of myself I'm putting into them.

I never thought that I'd be able to write so openly, but by addressing my weaknesses and reluctance to do so ( even though I've wished I'd done this sooner) I have found that I enjoy it even more.

And probably bore you even more !! 

My last post reverted back to what I have usually done, just telling some stories that happened back in the day, but after what I read last night and listened to today, I just felt compelled to step out of my comfort zone again.

And I feel great for doing so.

Amazing how at 58 years of age I finally discover something that really gets me thinking and so motivated to keep going with it regardless of how strange others may see it.

Let me share another example from today.

Every morning without fail ( well, rarely do I miss doing it) I do a workout with a fitball and light weights to strengthen my core and hamstrings, as I've had lots of problems in recent years with my back and have had hamstring surgery. I could look back and moan and groan about how these injuries still trouble me now, but I choose to adopt a positive approach instead. I know that I'll feel better after each workout, and also that each workout is a way of preventing these injuries from occurring again so easily.

Just a focus on the potential for the future rather than the negatives of the past.

Anyway, I have digressed again ( Don't you love how I sneak that comment into nearly every post!!)

After leaving the hospital today from my daily visit I went for my usual long walk around Melbourne. For some reason my left knee started to hurt, and at first I just ignored it. However, the more I walked, the worse it became. It was so frustrating as I couldn't recall doing anything to hurt it. My normal gait soon became a hobble as the pain got worse and spread further around my knee.

Rather than get all down about having another injury, I searched for a positive and found one straight away. I've been troubled for a few years now with growing arthritis in my right ankle, which now causes me to walk with a slight limp at times.

As I was walking and struggling with my now very sore left knee, it dawned upon me that it didn't hurt as much as my right ankle.

WINNER WINNER !!!! 

Rather than my usual frustration with a sore ankle, it was now relegated and something else had taken over. To me this was a bonus, as I'm pretty sure this sore knee will be just a passing thing which I needn't get too worried about.

I know some of you might be saying "But what if it doesn't?"

I hear you, but I just won't entertain the thought because my approach is to focus on the positive idea that it is only temporary

It reminds me of the saying "If you think you won't succeed, you'll be correct"

If I think it will get better, and I do what is needed to achieve this, then I'm sure it will. If not, I'll deal with it then.

More than anything, a positive attitude is what I have definitely needed to maintain for the past 9 months now. My sore body parts are trivial to what others are experiencing and it is a massive perspective pill to swallow.

A family member is being treated for a serious illness and each day has been so hard to witness, especially for the past 8 or so weeks. As I visit the hospital each day I see not only the struggles our family member is enduring, but also those of other patients.

This was even more evident when a stay in ICU for 25 days was needed after some serious complications arose. Not for the life of me could I dare complain about my petty little ailments that are generally self inflicted due to my constant need/passion/addiction/ dedication to getting daily exercise. I have seen people hanging on to life by the skin of their teeth, but through it all I have maintained a firm belief that the nurses and doctors providing the care will eventually deliver a positive result.

Despite the seriousness of this situation, I still manage to see positives. I am just so grateful for the efforts of the people doing all that they can to try and turn this situation around and hopefully ease a lot of pain and discomfort. I have met so many nurses and doctors who offer their unconditional love, care and support in so many ways, so how can I feel anything but positive about the way our family member is being looked after.

Bless you all 🙏

It would be too easy to sit back and think the worst, but this does nothing to help me to help them. I've found that by having a firm belief in a positive outcome not only makes me feel better, but also helps me to help them to feel the same.

In previous leadership roles at my school, when presented with problems that were occurring from time to time, I probably bugged the living suitcase out of my colleagues by saying "We don't have problems, just solutions !"

While the solutions may not have been obvious at the time, it was just my way of accepting the problem, then moving on towards a solution. It gave me a positive mindset towards a solution rather than expending energy on what has already happened that I couldn't change or have control over.

Doesn't work for everyone, but it did for me.

The benefits of trying to see the positives?

My experiences of late have given me a greater perspective towards so many things.

First of all, when the kids in my class complain about things, often my first question is to gently ask  "Is this an ant or an elephant?" It's my way of helping them to identify quickly if their problem is as serious as it really may be. They may very well say straight away "It's an elephant !!", and it may be, but then my job is to help them to see it for what it really is.

Worrying about my own little sore spots such as my knee today (an ant) , and then thinking about the patients across the road facing their own battles ( elephants) is a major perspective pill.  Whenever we think we are doing it hard, it only takes a few seconds to think about anyone doing it harder and perspective becomes so much more clearer.

Well Readers,

I could bang on and on about the benefits of a positive mindset as it is something that I have always tried to maintain and have a passion for. I find it flows into my work and the way that I find I can establish great relationships with the kids in my class ( when I'm there 😖 !!) and hopefully with my colleagues.

Any of the books I have mentioned, plus "The Imperfects' podcast are resources that I can't speak highly enough of. 

At a time when my positivity has been sorely tested lately, I have these things, plus my amazing friends and family who continue to support me through what is an extremely testing time.

Until my next post, (and next stick of incense 🤣)

Cheers !! 😀