It's The Little Things That Matter...

Hi Readers,

Yep, I bet you've all heard this title before and each time we hear it or say it we barely give it the scant recognition it deserves.

                     WARNING !!

This is one of his posts where he has been burning the incense and thinking too much !!

As I wander around Melbourne I see so many things that are topic worthy, but I never know how to blend them all together into the one post.

Then yesterday I was listening to a podcast and the person being interviewed had gone through a series of events that were really tough for him and his family. The interviewer questioned him as to how he coped through such a combination of hardships.

I immediately felt a connection to what this person had been going through after losing my sister recently, on top of the situation I find my family currently experiencing.

"I just be thankful for the little things" was all that he said, followed by a long pause.

The pause said it all. We often focus on the big things, and things that are often beyond our control, whereas the 'little things' can be things that are more achievable, understandable and easier to process on the spot.

So that's what I've been able to focus on lately, and try and become more aware of...the little things !

And believe me when I say that they can easily be missed altogether unless one is trying to be noticing them more consciously. I was amazed at the things I was eventually noticing that I'd otherwise be totally ignoring as I carried on with my normal routines.

So, in no particular order, here are some "little things" I've noticed, but when I reflect on them, I do see a much bigger picture...

Positive Pedestrian

In a recent post I had a rant about how annoyed I get walking the busy streets and having to dodge people with their faces in their phones, people who just stop in the middle of the footpath, groups who walk 5 abreast and so on. I better stop now or else another rant will start!!

I came back from a walk and all of the above things happened again, as well as two teenagers fart arsing about and deliberately crashing into other pedestrians. They did it to me and collected me, so I turned and caught up with them and gave them a serve. Part of me wanted to punch them back in the shoulder just as they had done to me, but that would only make me like them. However, the sheer look of fear in their faces when I confronted them was worth everything. They clearly had been getting away with it, and it appeared that I was the first to challenge them on it, and they didn't like it one bit. They just melted with all sorts of apologies which I dismissed, and told them they had no idea if someone they crashed into was carrying an injury or ailment. I walked away with their scared look so clear in my mind. In a way that didn't sit well with me, but in a way, it also did. 

Still not sure if that is something to be proud of, but I hope it stopped them.

For the rest of my walk I was so uptight, and possibly angry at what had happened, and it took ages for me to just get over it.

As I went for a walk the next day it was still festering in my mind so I decided I needed to do something to change this mindset.

Why was I making myself so mad ?

I seriously needed to change my attitude, and as I said earlier and in other posts, focus on what I could change, and this could be done with my attitude.

I was determined to not let any of the things that bug me get on top of me.

Recently I changed all the ink cartridges in our printer at home, and as most would know, CYAN is one of the ink types.

I thought of this and came up with a simple mantra Change Your Attitude Now. CYAN. 

Get it ?

As I was walking along and I could see the things that would normally annoy me, I'd just say to myself "CYAN", and immediately I'd be calm. It's just accepting things for what they are and choosing to not let them worry you.

And they didn't ! I actually started to enjoy myself more, and also became increasingly conscious of what things I might be doing that would be bugging other pedestrians ???

I'm sure there would be some, but because I was being too self centred I was not able to see this.

If anything, I became more polite, letting others pass, and smiling at the things that previously bugged me. Rather than growl, grumble or mutter a swear word when someone with their face in their phone crashed into me, I just apologised and checked that they were okay and moved on. It actually felt good !

So, hopefully I'm a better version of myself on the streets of Melbourne just by committing to changing my attitude.

At the Hospital

As I'm at the hospital every day for a few hours, it has been an absolute privilege to see the staff at work. In the wards I have been visiting, most of these patients are seriously ill, especially in ICU where a family member recently spent a number of weeks. 

These staff deal with patients who could very well not be present the next day, yet they always have been so positive, cheerful and upbeat to the patients as well as the visitors like me. It can be so easy for patients and visitors to lose their filters and be rude, abrupt, demanding and disrespectful to the staff as they face the challenges of being the sick person, or that person's loved ones.

I have seen and heard it often, people at their lowest ebb just not being able to treat the staff with the respect they deserve.

For the staff, I'm amazed at how they just let it wash over them as if it doesn't happen, but I just can't stop feeling that sometimes it must be hard.

We all have "bad hair days" ( even me with hardly any hair !) but I'm yet to see any of the staff having one. If anything, it's the complete opposite.

I even asked a few of them about it, and they say they just understand what families and patients are going through, and they need to do all that they can to support them.

And don't they do it so well !!

Each day I leave the hospital and think "Well, she has the best nurse today", and then the next day I say the same thing, and so on and so on. It would be totally unfair to say that one is better than the other, I am just so grateful for each and every one of them.

So what's the "little thing" here?

Just be nice whenever you can. Not hard, but it leaves an impact.

Also at the hospital is the Music Therapy team, a group of musos who provide gentle, and sometimes more upbeat music in the corridors and rooms. As I was sitting in our room the other day I could hear one of them on the guitar out in the corridor and I just wished he'd come into our room.

As I was leaving today, just by coincidence there he was waiting to get into the lift with me. I commented on the song he was playing a few days ago, as I remembered it from my childhood and hadn't heard it for so long. He asked who I was visiting, and then said he knew who that was, and would a musical visit be something that would help.

I'll check tomorrow, and I'm hoping I get a yes!!

The little thing ?

In the age of Spotify and instant streaming, we can play whatever song we like whenever we want.

BUT... on this day I heard a song at random that I'd probably never search for as it has gone from my memory, but just hearing it brought back so many more memories from that time. I haven't gone to Spotify to hear it again as I want to preserve the memory of hearing it in the hospital corridor.

And it happened a few days earlier when I was in a shop and I could hear another favourite from years ago playing. More memories, and even a smile on my face as soon as I heard it.

If I searched for them on Spotify, Yes, I'd still enjoy them, but the random nature would be gone and so would have been the instant joy of hearing them so unexpectedly.

What were the songs I hear you wondering ???

I've seen Mamma Mia a number of times in London, and this song has always been my favourite ! 

Another blast from the past, I remember this one so well from my own primary school days !

And Yes, I hear you all groaning from here and wondering what the heck is in my incense tonight !!!!

Another hospital anecdote (Well, you should expect them as I spend so much time there)

During my first visits back in August last year, I was a bit aghast at first when I'd see patients in wheelchairs, most extremely ill looking, some with legs missing, sitting out the front of the hospital smoking heavily.

Now, I'm not a smoker, and perhaps I was prematurely being high and mighty, something which I regret feeling on those first days still.

I'd be thinking "Why the heck are they out here smoking when there are staff inside doing their best to help them?"

I asked a nurse about this and she put me straight immediately, and totally changed my attitude and thinking there and then.

In the kindest way, she said "Yes, it does look bad, but for some of those patients, that is the highlight of their day. They get outside, they chat with friends, and yes, they smoke. But for some, they don't have much time left, so maybe the smoking is one small joy that they have remaining".

Yep. I got it straight away.

So now, rather than frown at this, I embrace it and often give a Hi as I go past, as our faces are familiar to each other now. If this is the best part of their day, I'd hate to spoil it with my attitude.

The little thing ? Don't be so judgemental and let them enjoy a dart !

Another hospital anecdote from today.

As I was leaving, I noticed an elderly man with one of those walking frames with wheels that also act as a seat. He was trying to carry a coffee and also negotiate a series of steps, which would have been an effort for him even without the coffee.

As I came alongside him I asked if I could assist in any way and the look of pure relief on his face just melted me. We were getting down the first set of steps with a little bit of difficulty, but getting there. 

Next minute another man bolts over and joins in helping. 

The elderly man was so grateful and I clearly remember looking this other bloke in the eye and I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing... "Doesn't this feel so good"

The three of just chatted our way down the steps as if we all knew each other, and it was so good to be able to feel so worthwhile. Importantly, he wasn't made to feel as if we had gone out of our way to help him. He was there, so were we, so maybe it was just meant to happen.

Now here is the strangest part of this story.

As we escorted him out of the hospital and were sure that he was okay, another elderly man nearby who was as equally frail called out with a huge "Thanks fellas, he's my driver !!"

It turned out that the man we helped was there to pick up this other man and drive him home. 

The little thing?

It wasn't hard at all to see that this man needed assistance. It would have been easy to keep walking, and hope that 'someone else' would help him.

Well today it was our turn to be that 'someone else'. And it isn't hard to just keep an eye out for times to be that someone else. It doesn't mean we have to mug an old lady to get her across the road, it just means to be prepared to be the one to offer to do those little things at home, at work, wherever. There will be refusals or knockbacks, but at least the intention will help you feel good.

I hope the two of them got home !!

Well Readers,

Nothing here is rocket science. I'm just trying to say that to make a difference need not mean trying to save the world (although, imagine if that did happen !!)

It's just paying attention to the little things, that in reality can make a world of difference to others, AND ourselves.

I'm not suggesting we all go out there and have a list of the things we are going to try and do, just let it happen naturally and the intrinsic benefits are so much more rewarding.

And not everything needs to be noticed. No-one in Melbourne knew that I was trying to be a nicer pedestrian, but I hope that maybe that person who I paused for to come out of a doorway might then do something similar for someone else. I'll never know, but it shouldn't stop me from doing it still. Plus it means I won't wear out my runners as quickly if I keep come storming back in an angry mood !!

Looking back over this it appears to be a lot of waffle.

Again.

I often know what I want to write about, but often I don't know the words I want to use. But when I do write them, I need to be comfortable with what ends up going down. And you, the poor readers have to try and make sense of them !!!

I was determined to try and do this post in under an hour. Fat chance.

When writing about events that have actually happened to me, I tend to think back over them and wonder what I could do differently, do again, or maybe do for the first time.

Then the post takes way too much time to write !!

Tomorrow I'll keep trying to be a polite pedestrian, and looking out for 'little things'. Hopefully it can become ingrained so that it doesn't become something I have to try and be aware of, and it just becomes me.

Until my next post Readers,

Cheers 😁