Lessons Learned

Hi Readers,

Another glorious day here in Bendigo but I'm still unable to get out and enjoy it as much as I'd like to, so what better use of time than to write a final post for 2022?

I must admit I did get outside for about ten minutes just now and organised the timers on our sprinkler system to give our garden beds a good drink before it gets too hot, but I'm totally stuffed now from plonking around the yard on my crutches so a good sit down is needed. The neighbours must have had a giggle watching this weirdo rolling across and around the front lawn changing and setting up timers and sprinkler heads of the different taps, but it's all done now. I must have looked like I'd been shot.

So what is he going to bang on about this time?

I just don't know for sure, as it might be a mix of humorous, cringeworthy and reflective moments that have occurred throughout the year that have stuck in my mind, or have taught me valuable life lessons.

If anything, I hope it prompts you to take stock of the year just gone and that you can look back and reflect on the things that made it the year that it was for you, or how you made it for others.

Some of the things that stuck with me may come across as incredibly boring to you, sorry about that! Also, they are in no particular order as I'm just banging away as they come into my mind.

Empathy.

Last December I moved into a block of units run by the Bone Marrow Donor Institute just near Royal Melbourne Hospital where Jen was hospitalised.

There were about 12 units in this building and people from all over Australia came to stay here while family members were in hospital at RMH or Peter Mac which were both at the end of the street. This is where your donations to the Leukaemia Foundation help to support families, so please consider this charity whenever you can.

Anyway, it quickly became clear to me that most of the people who were receiving treatment were males, and it was mostly wives and girlfriends staying there with their partners. We were the exception because I was the only 'healthy' male staying there at the time, and Jen was in hospital for all but 3 weeks of the 7 months I was down there. Everyone else at the time were outpatients receiving daily treatment.

Due to covid, and also due to the fact that everyone pretty much stayed in their units as the patients were usually too weak to do much more than their hospital visits, we only crossed paths fleetingly in the lift, the foyer or as we were going to and from the hospitals.

What really struck me was the empathy shown by everyone. We all knew what was happening in our own situations, and therefore didn't need to ask what was happening with each other. One could only guess. For sure at times we would stop and have longer chats and I developed very close friendships with a few couples in particular. I was sure that they were extra caring towards me as I was mostly alone and our situation was so serious. Often nothing ever needed to be said, but that in itself said more than anything. I never realised until this year how much a gentle hand on the shoulder could mean without so much as a word being said.

Other days there would be a basket of fruit left at your door, or one family from a farm outside Geelong would drop off small meat packs to each unit when one of their sons came up to visit.

There was one particular day when it was raining, and I saw that someone went and left an umbrella outside each door. Just little things like that where people were not seeking recognition or acknowledgement, they just knew what would make your day just that little bit easier. How could each of us do things like this in our own daily life?

Perhaps the greatest, but also saddest days were when new families arrived, or others left. I recall the joy we shared when one family from Tasmania got the news that the mother and son could go home as his leukaemia was undetectable after a year or so of treatment, and that he was able to be home in time to be with his wife who was due to give birth to their second child in just a few weeks. I had seen this young man when he was sick, and also on the day that he left looking so much more radiant. The joy on his face was priceless. Arriving was also great because the families I met were beginning the path to recovery, something that we all had hopes for.

The day I moved in I recognised a particular ute in the carpark underneath. It belonged to a couple who lived two doors down from us when we lived in a different house here in Bendigo. Two days later I ran into them in the carpark and they were loading up to go home. Once again the excitement for them was undeniable and they were overjoyed at their prospects moving forward. It was not hard to be so happy for others as they were going home to restart their lives, as we all had the same hope for ourselves. Imagine my dismay a few months later when I saw that they were back a few months later after the husband developed new problems, and he passed away a few weeks after Jen did.

These are just two examples of the empathy shown by so many families from all walks of life, thrown together by circumstances they probably never thought would occur.

What it did teach me was the need to be aware more of the circumstances of others, to not assume anything and what empathy really meant. I hope that I can put it into practice more often in my life and that i just don't take things for granted.

Readers, that was a bit of a deep introduction to the post, maybe it was the thing from 2022 that has resonated with me so much.

Learning new things.

2022 ( and late 2021 as well) was a period of me learning a number of new things that any of you would take for granted, so much so that you'll be inclined to stop reading right now due to it sounding so lame!!

I'll be very clear in saying from the outset that throughout my adult life I have had very little interest or concern with financial matters. Jen looked after everything from the moment we got married, probably because she realised how hopeless I was with money. I've never really cared how much I earn, and usually haven't known which week is pay week.. Sounds weird I know, but that's just how it is.

At any stage of my work career, if you asked me what my annual wage was I wouldn't be able to tell you. I remember one time when I was teaching at a primary school, and also working at the local University doing Phys Ed that Jen said to me one night "Do you realise how much you are earning right now?" 

Nup. No idea. But from her reaction it must have been good. It just didn't bother me that much. As long as we had enough to get what we needed and were able to save some as well I was happy. I know that it paid for new carpet in our house and part of an overseas trip, so it must have been good.

Fast forward to late 2021 and Jen is in hospital and everything financial is now up to me.😳

Things I needed to learn:

• How to do internet banking (stop laughing!!)
• Which plastic card was for which account
• Where our money was
• How to pay the bills and schedule payments
• What bills would come weekly, monthly, quarterly etc
• Accessing Jen's email account, passwords etc

It was a massive learning curve, I think I got on top of it quickly as it's amazing how quickly one can pick up a skill when the need is there.

I now know roughly how much I earn (I'd guess I'd still be a few thousand out if you asked me) but I still wouldn't have a clue which week is pay week!!! Jen set us up so well that I don't have to worry as much as I thought I would.

Housework.

I clearly took for granted some of the things that were always done for me because I was too useless to learn how to do them myself. Something as simple as mopping the floors. I'd just get a bucket of water, squirt in whatever cleaning liquid I could see in the cupboard, only to be scolded by Jen as the one I normally chose would be the one that would strip the surface of the floorboards. She kept telling me the safest one to use but I never really paid attention. Until now !!! Simple things like how to clean up a spill on the carpet I now have to research and be so sure of the correct things to use and the procedures. Otherwise it's a big stuff up. It was always done for me.

Similarly with doing the washing. I now acknowledge that colours and whites DO need to separated!!!

Strange smells.

Treat smells whenever you notice them rather than waiting.

I have had two examples of this little mishap, one would think that I would have learnt the first time!!

When I was in the unit in Melbourne, over the course of a few weeks I noticed a little smell starting to mature into something more tangy and offensive.

I quickly opened the cupboards and had a look, but could see nothing. But I could still smell something!!

The lesson here is....Look more closely!!

Over the next two weeks or so it got worse and worse and my haphazard glimpses into the cupboards never resulted in anything more than more smells, but no evidence.

Clearly something was happening, but my oh so casual searching skills were letting me down. Jen was still in hospital at this point so there is no way that it would have escalated to the point that it did had she been in the unit with me. I just started to assume that it must be somewhere else in the building.

Talk about dodging the issue!

However, one day I just happened to see what looked like a weed coming out of one of the cupboards. I summoned up all my strength, held my nose and stuck my head deep into the cupboard and found the 'weed' was coming from behind a number of kitchen appliances that I had never used.

After pulling them out I discovered a number of potatoes that had somehow ended up behind these appliances and had managed to sprout. 

Extensively.

If left alone I'm sure that McCain's would have been in touch with me to start supplying them.

These things were a foul green and the sprouts were protruding like massive tentacles, threatening to take me in my sleep !!

My potatoes were even worse than this one, some tentacles were around 15-20cm long and definitely had intentions to grab me the moment I had my back turned. But this wasn't all. The moment I grabbed these starchy monsters they just squelched in my hands to a gooey mess, emanating the grossest stench imaginable and leaving a gooey puddle of crud that took ages to clean up, and then get rid of the stench.

I learnt my lesson there and then.

Or so I thought.

When I eventually came home, the same thing happened again, but I couldn't figure out why as I was so careful about it now.

Until one day I saw another feared potato tentacle creeping out of a container in the pantry. Apparently while I was away someone had put some potatoes in the pantry, but then something had been stacked on top of them, producing the same experience that I had endured back in Melbourne. But Readers, you will be pleased to know that these were disposed of safely and humanely, despite the fact that I gagged all the way to the bin outside!!

Lesson learnt? Treat bad smells immediately and with urgency!!

Is it something about men that just means that they will put up with a bad smell a lot longer than women will? Jen would have sourced the culprits and dealt with them at first sniff, way before I would have even considered something was awry.

Gardening

My gardening skills match my financial skills. Jen was the CEO of our gardens in each house that we have owned. My knowledge is limited to the fact that plants are stuck to the ground and that they need water.

In the house that we bought 3 years ago, there was an established garden that is beautiful, even I was impressed with it. I'm good at keeping things tidy, mowing the lawns etc, but when it comes to choosing plants I'm a total dunce.

Luckily, a few months before Jen got sick we both worked together to put in drip sprinkler systems throughout our gardens, and because I did much of the grunt work under extremely close supervision from Jen, I actually know how it all works. We were both so conscious of being careful with our water supply from our tanks and knowing when the best watering times were, that now I find that I think I have it under control on my own.

I won't call myself a gardener yet as I've only planted one plant since I came home, but nothing has died on me yet. I still have trouble deciding which ones are weeds and which ones aren't at times, so my apologies to any plants that met an early demise due to my lack of plant knowledge!!

The thing that keeps me going is the hard work that was put in by others, now I have to maintain it.

Work

As I start to reach the stage of my teaching career where I may have only a few years left in the job at most, I realise that I have to make the most of this time.

"Don't count the days, make the days count" is a saying that we have all probably heard, but it is one that means so much to me now. My last two years on the job have only amounted to 6 months each year, so this year I'm hoping to put a full 4 terms together. As long as my body holds together I'll be fine. The local doctors are licking their lips each time they see me now. I must be paying for so many sets of golf clubs, overseas trips, school fees or latest car models with some of the things I've been getting fixed or are on the agenda to be done! Still, when taking a perspective pill it is small fry stuff as at least I'll get better.

I could bang on and on Readers and bore you to tears (again) with other things that I have learnt about myself and others this year, but I wont.

I hope though, that you will stop and consider things for yourself.

For me it is two things.

1. Empathy.

2. Perspective

No matter how annoying trivial things may be at the time, even though they may appear to be the most major problem in the world at that moment, all I say to myself is "Take a pill" and I get a much better perspective of the situation, and then feel ridiculous for seeing it the way that I did. Sometimes my mindset changes immediately, other times it takes a tad longer. To make this into more of a habit rather than something I have to focus on is something I hope will become part of me.

Well Readers,

That's it for 2022, a year that promised a lot but delivered so much that I wish I could have changed, but it wasn't to be.

Thanks for reading, leaving comments and for the encouragement to pursue what I love doing.

Hoping you all had. a great Christmas and that next year is the best that it can be for you.

Until my next post...

Cheers 😁

 New Beginnings

Hi Readers,

A stinker of a day here and way too hot to be doing anything outside, so what better opportunity to put you to sleep than by banging out another post!! Plus, I'm still couch bound after my ankle surgery, just under 5 weeks done so far, hopefully only 3 more to go 🤞

For the past few days I have had a few ideas swirling around in my mind, but I just couldn't quite commit to any of them. Then, as I've mentioned in previous posts, how is it that some things just fall in your lap just when you need them?

I was browsing through the news this morning online and I came across an article that really resonated with me.

It was basically talking about now that we are at the end of the year, we start thinking about changes that we would like to make for next year, or beyond.

We all hear about, and often make those dreaded "New Year's Eve Resolutions" which always sound good at the time, but in reality never get achieved, or just fade from our memories within a few short days.

Why?

Often because they are too ambitious, a bit out of our reach or just too unrealistic to start with. I think I touched on this in a recent post, please forgive me if I travel over ground already covered.

I could name some of the usual culprits...

• lose some weight
• get fitter
• save  more money
• buy a new... ( house, car, investment etc)
• travel more
• work less
• discover "who I really am" ( there you go, I'm catering for those who sit cross legged in a tent wearing a kaftan and drinking fermented yak milk and burning incense from the foothills of the Himalayas!!)
• etc

I know I made light of the 'discovering who I really am' comment, but I must admit that this article did delve quite deeply into becoming motivated by indulging in a bit of self discovery to start with. So when I do joke about it a bit in this post, please don't misinterpret it as making fun of it, I'm not. It's just that I'm poking the bear a bit at those who go overboard with it to the point we cannot help but laugh about it. 

For example, with the things that I've experienced this year, I had an experience one day when a person came up to me, grabbed my hands and looked deeply into my eyes and said something like "And what have you learnt about YOU through all of this?" The last thing I wanted to talk about was this question, which helps to explain why I tend to still laugh about some things. Others have been much more casual and less confronting when asking questions along a similar vein which I have found so much more easier to deal with.

I hope that explains in some way that I'm not dismissing the 'self discovery' concept, but at the same time I won't be approaching it with the same cult like fanaticism that I have seen others do. I hope I can meet you somewhere in the middle.

One of the examples mentioned in this article talked about how hard it is to stay motivated to achieve the new goals that we set for ourselves. In previous years I'd always say that I wanted to run another marathon this year, or even more.

With my current physical state I have had to reconsider this immensely. Now, if I said that I wanted to go for a 5km run this year I'd still be over estimating my ability, so at the moment I'm just aiming to be able to walk properly and pain free. Anything beyond that will be a bonus. I'm not complaining for a moment, I'm just being realistic and stating what will most likely be achievable for me, and not beyond my expectations, ambitions and capability.

To aim for much more than that would mean it's most likely that nothing will happen, so what is the point in the first place? I am someone who always needs something to aim for, so if that means doing things that in the past were a walk in the park (pardon the pun) then so be it.

I clearly remember saying to Jen a few years ago that I'd never be someone who goes for walks, as they just weren't energetic enough for me. Now I'd crave to be able to do it. It's just amazing how quickly things that we take for granted can be so quickly taken from us.

In more ways than one.

By working slowly towards the things that are important to us means that the achievement becomes more meaningful, and hopefully drives us further to achieve other goals that we have.

A personal example for me is as simple as referring to this blog. I'd always liked writing, but never really had any purpose or intent for it, except for work or study reasons. Then for some reason a few years ago I stepped into it again as there were quite a few readers tapping in from overseas and now I had an authentic audience to write for. Since then I have continued to tap away at the keyboard and hopefully the standard, quality and content of my writing has improved since my first posts all those years ago. More than anything, I enjoy it even more as I took my time in trying to develop it further, meaning that the benefits to me have been long lasting rather than a flash in the pan. It still takes a lot of motivation to keep doing it, but I find that the benefits far outweigh any parts of it that may seem as a chore.

An author quoted in the article sums it up when she says "Seeing that seed of an idea become a finished product is so motivating", and I couldn't agree more.

I wonder how may novelists started out the same way? Don't expect me to write a book though, that is definitely not on the radar!!! Everything just has to start somewhere.

Another interviewee in the article mentions that it can be major life events that trigger greater motivation in people.

This I can completely relate to. Prior to this year my blog posts were generally bland and diary like. You might be saying to yourself that nothing has changed!!!

But going through the ordeal of Jen getting diagnosed at first with leukaemia, then getting the all clear, only to suffer the beginning of a more serious problem an hour later meant that the style of my posts changed dramatically, reflecting how my own mindset and motivation changed as a result. This event has affected me profoundly in so many ways, and most likely in ways that I am still yet to identify

It feels that I think more deeply about what I am going to write about as this year has been one of constant reflection and anguish, and perhaps this blog has been a great outlet for me. I know that after each post I feel a sense of relief that I have cleared my mind a little.

Also, the feedback has been so affirming, further adding to the motivation to try and produce something that encompasses any elements of literary competency that I might have bubbling away somewhere!

In this article it was suggested that when you hit rock bottom it gives you greater opportunity and motivation to make a change in order to lead a more functional and resourceful life. I suppose when things hit the fan we have two choices - do nothing, or do something, and it has been my desire to try and do something that becomes life giving, hence the more personal approach in my posts. 

As we all know, the grind of daily life can consume us at times, to the point that we just go through the motions and life can become a type of 'Groundhog Day' experience. The levels of motivation can easily wane if we fail to find ways to see things differently or approach things with a different mindset. Just like keeping the nose to the grindstone, so to speak.

An approach mentioned was to get in order the basic things that we need and require in our day to day existence. Food. Shelter. Rest. Safety. Connections with others.

Once these are sorted we are then more open and receptive to chasing down other things that we'd like to give our attention to. It's a bit like the scaffolding we approach our teaching with - you know - building on what has already been established, is known or understood. Build the base or foundations so that we can then begin working on what motivates us. The little things can often consume so much of our time and leave us with less time to devote our energies to the bigger and more important things in our lives. Maybe we spend so much time on the trivial things as they are easier to handle, but in the end they steal the time needed to address what is more important to us.

This short clip really explains how to address the little thing and big things in life.

Yes, we can still deal with the little things, but not at the expense of the more important things that really matter.

So, today.

Does it really matter that I've got crappy clothes pegs and that I need to buy some more, but need to wait until I do my next online groceries order? Or is it more important that I get ready to welcome back into my home my son, his fiance and their perfect grandson who are due back here soon? Not a hard decision for me that's for sure.!!

Does it matter that I've got a sore leg, or is it more important that I keep in touch with our 3 sons as we all live away from each other? Once again, not hard. Maybe instead of waiting for them to ring me, I pick up the phone instead. Similarly with other family and friends.

Well Readers,

I've gone off on my diversions and tangents again, but you must be accustomed to that by now if you are a regular reader 🙄 All I'm suggesting today is that we stop and think about how we might identify things in our lives we'd like to change, begin or completely obliterate! 

But dreaming within our own capabilities and setting goals or targets that are gettable.

Where to from here? 

In a few weeks I'll be heading back for the start of the school year and hoping first of all that I can put together a complete year in the classroom, as the past two years have only been 1/2 year efforts due to circumstances. That is my first goal. 

Anything that happens in that time will be up to me and how prepared I am to make it work, but needless to say I'll be striving to generate reasonable expectations that I and the kids in my class can achieve. The little things will take care of themselves to a large extent so I needn't trouble myself overly with them. It's the bigger concerns and needs of the kids that will need to be identified and hopefully I'm up to the task.

Reading back through this post I'm not totally sure I've explained myself as clearly as I'd hoped to. Maybe that's something for me to work on in future posts. In the meantime I have a few more weeks on the couch with my leg up so perhaps I can put that time to good use and refine my writing skills!!!

I just hope I've left you with something to ponder.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Memories.

Hi Readers,

Here's hoping that everything is well with you all and that the next week leading up to Christmas is as peaceful and stress free as possible. As much as it is a happy time for so many, I still can't help but feel sorry for those who find this time as sad and miserable for their own personal situations and reasons. My heart goes out to them all.

So, about the background to this post, which many of you will most likely disagree with. Even I question myself on many aspects of what I'm going to bang on about as I still don't know exactly where I stand on some of the points I'll raise. Nonetheless, I'm still going to put my thoughts out there and i'd love some of your feedback if you feel strongly either way. There's a comments tab at the bottom of the post, you can be as anonymous as you want to be!!

I was watching the news the other night and it showed a basketballer from the USA doing an amazing piece of play. For the life of me I can't really remember what he did, but what struck me was that in the background was just a sea of phones being held up in front of the faces of each spectator. Each of them was seeing this amazing piece of play through their screens rather than in 'real life'. 

I know that we all like to record things, me too, as it is the world we live in right now where just about everything gets recorded in some form.

And this is the guts of today's post. Where do we draw the line between seeing things in real time as compared to trying to get everything recorded as video or photos?

Straight away I can sense the hair standing up on the back of some necks right now!

"How dare you critcise me for recording things on my phone!!"

Look Readers, I do it too, probably just as much as some of you, but sometimes I just like to hold on to the memory of an event rather than stressing about getting it recorded. Just scrolling through my photos today I saw so many that I now disregard as they don't seem that special or meaningful anymore. Also, so many that I hardly think I've ever gone back to look at since they were taken. So why did I put so much effort into taking them? And so many that I'm so glad I took, so please don't start identifying me as the photo Grinch!!

This is the photo that speaks so much to me about this, and prompted this post.

This was taken earlier this year I think and shows Tiger Woods teeing off in one of the majors. As you can guess, I'm talking about how much we witness through our screens, and I don't begrudge any of these spectators for recording the experience of watching one of golf's finest ever players teeing off. It may have been their one and only opportunity to do so. I might have done the same.

However, focus on the guy in the cream shorts holding the can of drink. He is just living the moment, and I'm guessing that he'll take this memory to the grave. I know the guy in the green shirt is watching too, but it is the purpose and intent that Mr cream shorts is displaying that really stood out for me. He ie experiencing the moment so much more realistically rather than worrying about the correct angle, focus etc of the device in one's hand. How many times have we stuffed up a recording and missed the moment altogether??

The ironic thing about this photo is that the makers of the drink he has in his hand tracked him down for the very reason I've touched on, and he ended up with a short term sponsorship of their product. Yes, I know this is commercialism going wild, but that's how things are now.

What do you think he remembers most about this day - getting the financial rewards or being up so close and personal to witness the swing of one of the best golfers ever?

There is just so much to take in watching things in the moment that a screen just doesn't capture. The real sounds, the smells, the tension in the air and so on. I'm sure that any of these recordings wouldn't have captured the eerie silence that descends upon a gallery pre-shot, and the subsequent sounds from the player, caddy and spectators immediately afterwards that our devices just don't catch.

Her's another example that many of you may have already seen that explains this further.

Little needs to be said about this. I know those way up the back would feel the need to hold up their phones and collect some sort of formal recognition that they were at this or other events. But with the world we live in now, could it be possible instead to get a quick snap and then just soak up the event? And if we wanted to, we could easily find footage of the event online, as just about everything is recorded in some form nowadays.

I hear you all from my couch right now..."But I want MY own copy!!" 

I hear you. I get it. But what will you remember most about the event??

I'm not sure at all what each of these events are, but for me I think i'd rather be watching the live version in front of me rather than watching it through a little screen. It would be the myriad of other things going on around me that would ad to the experience- memories of how I got there, who was around me, what others were saying, the build up to the event occurring and so on. I'd also be guessing that in the bottom photo those up the back would be recording a large screen above the stage portraying what was actually happening on stage. Filming a screen through another screen.

When I talk about things like this with people my age, it often gets brought up "Aren't we lucky that phones like today weren't around when we were growing up?!!"

YEP!!!!

I know as well as you do Readers that it's all due to progress and change, something that I embrace and am glad for. I'm not being critical of it, I'm just suggesting that it needn't dominate us.

 I look back to my days training as a teacher and am eternally grateful that we didn't carry around instant recording devices with us 24/7 like we do today!!

There were things we did then that would just about preclude us from getting jobs nowadays if people were able to look into our background like we can now. I challenge many employers who say that they don't check out the social media profiles of prospective employees!

For example, (and don't bother searching for any of these as there is no photographical evidence!! ) in the house of 7 guys that I lived in for a year, we got a bit bored one night and thought we'd go out and scare some fellow students. This involved driving across town to a house where a number of girls in our year lived, putting on balaclavas and knocking on the door. When one of them answered the door we quickly grabbed them, bundled them into our car and took off around the block. It seemed funny beforehand, but as soon as we did it we quickly realised how DUMB we were!! The poor girl was absolutely, and rightfully terrified, and no amount of apologies or smooth talking was going to get even a morsel of forgiveness from her, or her housemates when we delivered her home a few minutes later. Myself and 1 or 2 others quickly went home with our tails between our legs, but a few others did another raid or two, only succeeding in more of the same response. The next few days we needed to keep our heads down as the bosses at the teaching college tried to track down the culprits. I'm sure everyone knew who did it, and the resultant reactions from our peers was very effective punishment!!

No phones then to record the event, but if we tried it today there would be police on our tails immediately and everything would be online as it was happening. I didn't need the evidence, but this was one moment where the memories are crystal clear and I don't need a photo to remind me of it!!!

That was the harsh experience, but there were others where we didn't get a photo, but the memory lives on forever, for the reasons which I elaborated on earlier.

In this case, with the same house of the same 7 guys. One of our housemates had a fear/phobia of animals, in particular large ones. It just so happened that in the paddock next door to our house lived a horse, which we called Nellie. I'm not sure of her name, that's just what we called her.

Anyway, one night when we should have been studying (at least this great friend was) we hatched the idea to bring Nellie into the house. We knew this would make him panic, what great friends we must have been!! We got Nellie from the paddock, then into the kitchen, and that was when she decided that was as far as she was going. She just would not budge. Our friend was in his room when he heard the commotion, and upon poking his head out the door and up the hallway, he just froze. He was back in his room in a flash and all we could hear was swearing and cries of "You guys have gone too far this time!!" 

And we tended to agree, as none of us had any horse experience and had no idea what to do next. Nellie stayed there patiently for a while, then sauntered down the hallway and out the door and was back in her paddock the next day.

If done today, this would have attracted hundreds of photos, videos, probably streamed live online. But the memories of this event remain so so strong to this day and I don't need recordings of it to remember it by. 

These are just two rather extreme examples of times when phones may have spoilt the sense of occasion had we focussed so much on recording them. I know the 'sense of occasion' when we went kidnapping evaporated immediately, but with Nellie it lasted forever. Poor Nellie, I doubt that she would agree. Or our friend, who to this day remains as one of my closest mates.

Jen's first car, and possibly the only photo I have of it. Jen and I bought cars as soon as we graduated from teacher's college from the same dealership in Bendigo. I really liked her car, but one of my brothers had one exactly the same, same colour, everything, so I couldn't buy it. So she did, and I bought something else.

I know this sounds dumb, but the real kicker that stopped me from buying this car was the hub caps!! I thought they were just so ugly, there was no way I could drive around with them on the car. We teased Jen relentlessly about the 'woks' on her wheels, something that she just ignored. She, and we went to so many places in this car, and it is those memories that I'll cherish forever. I don't need multitudes of photos of this car, just this one is enough to generate memories of the different places we went in it.

And, as it tuned out, it proved to be a much better car than the one I bought!!

My first car. Similarly, I have only 1-2 photos of my 1st car, but just this one photo evokes years of funny memories and stories that happened during the 4 years that I had it. I don't need reams of photos, just this one photo does it. Nowadays an event might have dozens of photos to record it. Think about when you hand over your phone to someone and ask them to take a photo for you. I'll bet that they'll take more than one photo "just to be sure"!!

This photo doesn't show the fact that there was no covering around the gearstick, and that I could see the road underneath. Rather problematic on wet days, but good to laugh about now.

It doesn't reveal that the air vents were all stuck on 'open' and that the heater never worked. Rather annoying during 3 winters in Ballarat!

Or that the driver window didn't wind up via the handle ( no electric windows in the 120Y!) and I had to hold it from the inside and outside and lift it up.

Or that I was always broke at teacher's college and that I'd turn the engine off at the top of my street and roll down the hill just to save petrol.

And finally, that I'd put in petrol with whatever money I had on me. If I had 75cents in the car, I'd get 75 cents of petrol! I still remember Jen begging me to put in at least $2.00 and that she'd pay the extra just to avoid feeling so embarrassed!!

One photo, endless memories☺️

And this totally unremarkable photo I hear you thinking?

As regular readers would know, Jen and I travelled extensively before she passed away earlier this year, and weren't we lucky to have done so.

Yes, we have taken so many photos of our travels, but not as many as we thought we would have. We tended to focus on photos that we would treasure, ones that would relive the moment/s for us rather than 50 photos of the same thing.

This was taken in Paris on a rainy walk around the city. We did the Eiffel tower and other attractions, but which one takes pride of place in our home? This one.

This is because whenever we look at it, it evokes all our memories of Paris. This captures all that we felt about Paris, what we did, where we went, how we felt and so on. A photo of the major attractions wouldn't have achieved the same result. As I look through photos of other places I notice we have done similar things. One or two photos in a city brings back all the memories, rather than us having to sift through so many photos to remind us.

As my dementia kicks in maybe I'll need those photos down the track!!!!

So Readers, what I'm trying to get you thinking about is do we sometimes lose the authenticity of the moment in our quest to record it? Is some of the spontaneity and originality lost as we endeavour to get that photo, or to re-enact something?

For sure, photos do capture these moments forever, but I'm suggesting that the memory of the event can serve the same purpose.

When remembering a moment we can put a different spin on it each time. There could be a different aspect about it that resonates more each time., whereas a photo captures that moment at that time. The memories bring back the build up, the context, the follow up. I look at a photo and remember that moment, but then so many memories will flood back about that time, memories that I don't need a photo of.

Readers, I'm sounding about as clear as mud right now. Please don't think I'm saying NOT to take photos or record events. It's not bad to do this, I'm just suggesting that sometimes the need to record becomes the focus, not the moment itself.

Just watch when something is happening over the next few weeks. Some people are quicker to draw their phones than some of the best gunslingers could draw their Colt 45's back in the Wild West!

Please, please take photos, the images are everlasting. But also consider being in the moment to witness things as they happen and to be grateful for treasuring these memories for as long as you can.

Maybe I've been sitting on the couch for too long (over 3 weeks now, 4 more to go😜) and I'm starting to lose it, but I won't need a photo to remind me of it, even though I must confess I've taken a few. I'll remember this time forever!!!!!

Have a great lead up to Christmas, and I look forward to banging out a few more posts in the coming weeks.

Until my next post...

Cheers 😀

 Taking Things For Granted

Hi Readers,

Yep, another few days and another post. You must be wondering "Does this bloke ever work?", and even I'm starting to think the same thing!!

It's two weeks today since I had my ankle surgery and apart from 3 days in hospital, I've spent this time on the couch with my leg up on a small stool. No weight allowed on it and I only have to do this for 6 more weeks!!. I hope i do it well so that I get some time cut from my sentence!! Trust me when I say that the novelty has quickly worn off. Actually, I got out of hospital on a Friday afternoon and by that night I was already over it.

The first few days were productive as I completed lots of school work that needed to be done for this year and into next year. I didn't want to get too advanced into our 2023 work just in case things changed and the work would be wasted. Suffice to say I have got some good structures in place already. The things that have taken up the most time are the continuing forms from banks, govt departments etc where I need to delete or cancel Jen from various accounts. It just goes around in circles. For example, just to get her identity removed from one bank account has meant that I've sent in certified copies of her death certificate, Will and Power of Attorney 3 TIMES!!! The one that I'm sending this week has a very blunt and terse letter attached explaining that they now have three copies of the same docs.!!

So, back to the point of this post and less of me banging on!

This is my world at the moment, where I've been confined to for the past two weeks, with many more to go. I'll make it clear right away that I'm not complaining about it as it is an ant compared to the elephants that so many others encounter. I'll get better, so many others aren't that lucky.

As I begin to get more accustomed to this and trying to find that ever elusive comfortable position, it has really struck me how many things I take for granted. 

What about you? 🤔

As you may be starting to see, this is one of my "get you thinking and reflecting" posts, so if they really cheese you off I suggest that you check out now !!

I was blessed to be visited last night by two beautiful colleagues from work who brought dinner and drinks around and stayed for a few hours. We just laughed and had the best time, but one thing that stuck with me was that they really encouraged me to keep posting as they, and some others actually enjoy reading them. 😳

The feedback was very raw and honest and I found it hard to accept. Isn't it strange that we are okay to take on criticism, but not so much positive feedback?.. I don't do this for rewards, it is just something that I really enjoy doing, it's great therapy after the events of this year and I hope that it encourages even just one person to stop and have a think. What these two gems told me only encouraged me to persist and this post has been drifting around in the empty space between my ears for a few days, so now I'm cranking it out.

Plus, what else can I do during the day when I'm glued to the couch!!

Taking things for granted.

With my current situation there are just so many things that I would normally be able to do, and would do them without thinking, yet now some of the most basic tasks take planning and effort due to my inability to do them properly, safely or at all. This also prompted me to then think about more important things that I take for granted.

More about that later, so take this as your only warning to check out now!!!

As I'm on the couch, and I have to really plan ahead to make any moves, little decisions become much bigger.

For example, I can see a book on the other side of the table that has a good quote in it, but's going to be an effort to crawl around the table to get it, so it stays there. Any other day I'd just reach over and grab it.

I'd love a coffee right now, but that means up on the crutches and around the kitchen trying to do it all one handed while at the same time attempting to balance on one crutch. I've had some near spills, and I'n not talking about the coffee here. That fear one experiences when you think you are going to fall is something that I'm desperately trying to avoid. Plus, I've bumped my foot a few times, the pain is pretty intense at the best of times and when I bump it I'm then suffering for the next hour or so. Hence, I'm drinking way less coffee, so that's hardly a bad thing!!

I must thank my great friend Denise for shifting the coffee machine for me so that I can make a coffee more quickly and safely now. Thank you!!

Ever tried to take out the washing basket and hang it out while on one foot with one hand trying to hang onto the fence and pegging the washing with one hand? It's actually not overly difficult but just so tiring. I've mastered the art of pushing things along the ground with one crutch and doing my best not to topple over.

I've had one accident already with trying to get plates/bowls/cups from the drawer to the bench, so I now have my little stash of one of each on the bench where I can use them and wash them in the sink quickly. 

I could go on and on with all the little things that I've always just taken for granted that have now become mini ordeals that require forward planning, and no longer can I do them without thinking as I need to remain alert in case I fall or bump my leg.

• cleaning my teeth
• showering - drying myself is a challenge, and then ensuring that I don't let the crutches slip on any wet spots on the floor
• getting a snack from the fridge or cupboard
• opening and closing doors
• getting into a car - that is really tricky! (Don't worry, I'm not driving!!)
• finding a pair of shorts that will fit over the boot (It has to stay on all the time)
• sleeping 
• and so on

That sounds so boring and so indulgent, that's the last thing I'm trying to project. It's just that I really have to think twice before doing so many things, and then weigh up what needs to be done against what can be left undone. I'll admit right now that one of the things that bugs me in this house is that I hate seeing little bits of rubbish, dirt, crumbs etc on the floor. If I see one, it just bugs me no end, and then I just see more and more. I have now got a technique for using the vacuum, it's not pretty but it gets the job done and I'm managing to keep the house clean!!

So these are the 'ants' in my life. What about the elephants? It dawned on me that I should stop worrying about pedantic things and consider more the things that will make a difference to others. What are the things about others that I take for granted, and can actually do something about them with even just the slightest of efforts?

One of the main things that I probably take for granted are those people who continually reach out to help me in just the tiniest of ways, but in fact make such a huge difference.

It may be just a short visit to have a cuppa and a chat, or coming around for dinner ( which I can't cook !). It is a phone call just to say Hi, the text, the email.

My team at school have regular chats on Facebook Messenger, sometimes it might be 1-2 comments, other times we might be banging on together for hours spread over an evening. It's not always work, it might be just talking about the mundane things we have been up to. They are coming around tomorrow to finalise some end of year school stuff and have dinner and drinks. It could be so easy to just treat it as a group of teachers having a few hours together, but there is so much more to it than than that. These are people who value each other and who like being together. I'd hate to take this for granted as these friendships that have developed through our work have now progressed beyond our work.

The easiest thing would be to say that I'm too tired or sore to participate, but the reality is that one of the team won't be at our school next year ( ☹️ ) so we need to appreciate and make the most of every opportunity we still have together.

Remember the saying that goes something like "You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone"?

This is the guts of what I'm getting at today. I often under appreciate so much of what I have, until the time comes when I don't have it, and only then do I fully understand how important it was to me. This goes for material things of course, but more importantly it applies to those around me.

Maybe I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself, I hope that is not what this is coming across as. I've always been an active person, someone who exercises twice daily and loves to stay as fit and healthy as i can. Going from really active to nothing in just two weeks is really messing with my mind, but something that I really need to understand.

I doubt that I'll ever take for granted the ability to exercise as I've done it all my life and this is the longest period of inactivity I've been through. Having some things forced upon you does cause some serious reflection!!!

Changes in life. 

Up until August last year I have always been around people at home. When Jen and I married way back in 1988 I have always been around someone. Our boys were born and grew up with us and for more than 20 years there was always noise, mess, smells, sports gear and mayhem in our home. We just took it in our stride, probably complained about some aspects of it a bit and just took it for granted that this was normal. How things have changed, and that's to be expected. The boys have all moved on and it was so easy to take for granted that they'd always be with us. At first they lived nearby, then two went overseas and one to Melbourne. Then one back to Bendigo and now two to Qld. I took for granted that they'd always be 'just around the corner' but this is not to be.

Not for a minute am I complaining about this, I totally accept that it is life. It makes one be more appreciative now of the things that get taken for granted and to take steps to show gratitude for them while we have them

The same goes for the team I teach with, the class I have, the neighbours I have, the good fortune that I experience each and every day. Some days I just expect it, but I know how quickly things can be taken away from us so the importance of appreciating the NOW becomes so imperative.

At our school we are doing our version of KK, where the focus is not on material gains or presents, but on not taking another person for granted. While each of us is focussing on one person in particular, hopefully we are developing habits that will benefit all who we surrounded ourselves with. Read a recent post where I talk about developing simple habits to see what I mean by this.

Last night I was seeing my son off after he visited me. A neighbour across the road waved to me ( we are in the greatest street!) I could have easily just waved back, but made the decision to hobble over and have a chat. The moment I made the move to go to speak with her she did exactly the same. We had a great chat for 10 mins or so, her kids were asking me if I'd put up my Christmas tree yet, who their teacher was for next year etc. I could have just taken for granted the wave and walked back inside, but the resulting chat just built stronger bonds and only added further to the strong community we have established in our street. Even when I was away in Melbourne with Jen for those 6 months they all looked after the house and kept in touch with me.

How could I take that for granted?  It's just too special.

Got you thinking yet? What do you take for granted? What do you experience regularly without a thought, but would really notice it the moment it was taken from you?

Let's hope we do not leave the opportunity to be grateful for what we have too late.

Another bit of a rant I know Readers. Even as I was writing it I was thinking "Have you really explained what you were hoping to explain?" I'm just grateful for the fact that I can write this blog, I certainly do not take it for granted that I have the opportunity to put my thoughts down for others to read if they are really, REALLY bored !!! 

Various events over the past 12 months have really prompted this post, and by having this forced rest is probably giving me too much time to think. And then I write.

I'm sure each of you could do this too!!!

Anyway Readers, I'm really trying not to take anything for granted in my life now, and I hope I have planted just a few little seeds for you to consider, especially as we approach that time of the year where we are even more aware of each other.

Until my next post...

Cheers 😁