Taking Things For Granted
Yep, another few days and another post. You must be wondering "Does this bloke ever work?", and even I'm starting to think the same thing!!
It's two weeks today since I had my ankle surgery and apart from 3 days in hospital, I've spent this time on the couch with my leg up on a small stool. No weight allowed on it and I only have to do this for 6 more weeks!!. I hope i do it well so that I get some time cut from my sentence!! Trust me when I say that the novelty has quickly worn off. Actually, I got out of hospital on a Friday afternoon and by that night I was already over it.
The first few days were productive as I completed lots of school work that needed to be done for this year and into next year. I didn't want to get too advanced into our 2023 work just in case things changed and the work would be wasted. Suffice to say I have got some good structures in place already. The things that have taken up the most time are the continuing forms from banks, govt departments etc where I need to delete or cancel Jen from various accounts. It just goes around in circles. For example, just to get her identity removed from one bank account has meant that I've sent in certified copies of her death certificate, Will and Power of Attorney 3 TIMES!!! The one that I'm sending this week has a very blunt and terse letter attached explaining that they now have three copies of the same docs.!!
So, back to the point of this post and less of me banging on!
This is my world at the moment, where I've been confined to for the past two weeks, with many more to go. I'll make it clear right away that I'm not complaining about it as it is an ant compared to the elephants that so many others encounter. I'll get better, so many others aren't that lucky.
As I begin to get more accustomed to this and trying to find that ever elusive comfortable position, it has really struck me how many things I take for granted.
What about you? 🤔
As you may be starting to see, this is one of my "get you thinking and reflecting" posts, so if they really cheese you off I suggest that you check out now !!
I was blessed to be visited last night by two beautiful colleagues from work who brought dinner and drinks around and stayed for a few hours. We just laughed and had the best time, but one thing that stuck with me was that they really encouraged me to keep posting as they, and some others actually enjoy reading them. 😳
The feedback was very raw and honest and I found it hard to accept. Isn't it strange that we are okay to take on criticism, but not so much positive feedback?.. I don't do this for rewards, it is just something that I really enjoy doing, it's great therapy after the events of this year and I hope that it encourages even just one person to stop and have a think. What these two gems told me only encouraged me to persist and this post has been drifting around in the empty space between my ears for a few days, so now I'm cranking it out.
Plus, what else can I do during the day when I'm glued to the couch!!
Taking things for granted.
With my current situation there are just so many things that I would normally be able to do, and would do them without thinking, yet now some of the most basic tasks take planning and effort due to my inability to do them properly, safely or at all. This also prompted me to then think about more important things that I take for granted.
More about that later, so take this as your only warning to check out now!!!
For example, I can see a book on the other side of the table that has a good quote in it, but's going to be an effort to crawl around the table to get it, so it stays there. Any other day I'd just reach over and grab it.
I'd love a coffee right now, but that means up on the crutches and around the kitchen trying to do it all one handed while at the same time attempting to balance on one crutch. I've had some near spills, and I'n not talking about the coffee here. That fear one experiences when you think you are going to fall is something that I'm desperately trying to avoid. Plus, I've bumped my foot a few times, the pain is pretty intense at the best of times and when I bump it I'm then suffering for the next hour or so. Hence, I'm drinking way less coffee, so that's hardly a bad thing!!
I must thank my great friend Denise for shifting the coffee machine for me so that I can make a coffee more quickly and safely now. Thank you!!
Ever tried to take out the washing basket and hang it out while on one foot with one hand trying to hang onto the fence and pegging the washing with one hand? It's actually not overly difficult but just so tiring. I've mastered the art of pushing things along the ground with one crutch and doing my best not to topple over.
I've had one accident already with trying to get plates/bowls/cups from the drawer to the bench, so I now have my little stash of one of each on the bench where I can use them and wash them in the sink quickly.
I could go on and on with all the little things that I've always just taken for granted that have now become mini ordeals that require forward planning, and no longer can I do them without thinking as I need to remain alert in case I fall or bump my leg.
- cleaning my teeth
- showering - drying myself is a challenge, and then ensuring that I don't let the crutches slip on any wet spots on the floor
- getting a snack from the fridge or cupboard
- opening and closing doors
- getting into a car - that is really tricky! (Don't worry, I'm not driving!!)
- finding a pair of shorts that will fit over the boot (It has to stay on all the time)
- sleeping
- and so on
That sounds so boring and so indulgent, that's the last thing I'm trying to project. It's just that I really have to think twice before doing so many things, and then weigh up what needs to be done against what can be left undone. I'll admit right now that one of the things that bugs me in this house is that I hate seeing little bits of rubbish, dirt, crumbs etc on the floor. If I see one, it just bugs me no end, and then I just see more and more. I have now got a technique for using the vacuum, it's not pretty but it gets the job done and I'm managing to keep the house clean!!
So these are the 'ants' in my life. What about the elephants? It dawned on me that I should stop worrying about pedantic things and consider more the things that will make a difference to others. What are the things about others that I take for granted, and can actually do something about them with even just the slightest of efforts?
One of the main things that I probably take for granted are those people who continually reach out to help me in just the tiniest of ways, but in fact make such a huge difference.
It may be just a short visit to have a cuppa and a chat, or coming around for dinner ( which I can't cook !). It is a phone call just to say Hi, the text, the email.
My team at school have regular chats on Facebook Messenger, sometimes it might be 1-2 comments, other times we might be banging on together for hours spread over an evening. It's not always work, it might be just talking about the mundane things we have been up to. They are coming around tomorrow to finalise some end of year school stuff and have dinner and drinks. It could be so easy to just treat it as a group of teachers having a few hours together, but there is so much more to it than than that. These are people who value each other and who like being together. I'd hate to take this for granted as these friendships that have developed through our work have now progressed beyond our work.
The easiest thing would be to say that I'm too tired or sore to participate, but the reality is that one of the team won't be at our school next year ( ☹️ ) so we need to appreciate and make the most of every opportunity we still have together.
Remember the saying that goes something like "You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone"?
This is the guts of what I'm getting at today. I often under appreciate so much of what I have, until the time comes when I don't have it, and only then do I fully understand how important it was to me. This goes for material things of course, but more importantly it applies to those around me.
Maybe I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself, I hope that is not what this is coming across as. I've always been an active person, someone who exercises twice daily and loves to stay as fit and healthy as i can. Going from really active to nothing in just two weeks is really messing with my mind, but something that I really need to understand.
I doubt that I'll ever take for granted the ability to exercise as I've done it all my life and this is the longest period of inactivity I've been through. Having some things forced upon you does cause some serious reflection!!!
Changes in life.
Up until August last year I have always been around people at home. When Jen and I married way back in 1988 I have always been around someone. Our boys were born and grew up with us and for more than 20 years there was always noise, mess, smells, sports gear and mayhem in our home. We just took it in our stride, probably complained about some aspects of it a bit and just took it for granted that this was normal. How things have changed, and that's to be expected. The boys have all moved on and it was so easy to take for granted that they'd always be with us. At first they lived nearby, then two went overseas and one to Melbourne. Then one back to Bendigo and now two to Qld. I took for granted that they'd always be 'just around the corner' but this is not to be.
Not for a minute am I complaining about this, I totally accept that it is life. It makes one be more appreciative now of the things that get taken for granted and to take steps to show gratitude for them while we have them
The same goes for the team I teach with, the class I have, the neighbours I have, the good fortune that I experience each and every day. Some days I just expect it, but I know how quickly things can be taken away from us so the importance of appreciating the NOW becomes so imperative.
At our school we are doing our version of KK, where the focus is not on material gains or presents, but on not taking another person for granted. While each of us is focussing on one person in particular, hopefully we are developing habits that will benefit all who we surrounded ourselves with. Read a recent post where I talk about developing simple habits to see what I mean by this.
Last night I was seeing my son off after he visited me. A neighbour across the road waved to me ( we are in the greatest street!) I could have easily just waved back, but made the decision to hobble over and have a chat. The moment I made the move to go to speak with her she did exactly the same. We had a great chat for 10 mins or so, her kids were asking me if I'd put up my Christmas tree yet, who their teacher was for next year etc. I could have just taken for granted the wave and walked back inside, but the resulting chat just built stronger bonds and only added further to the strong community we have established in our street. Even when I was away in Melbourne with Jen for those 6 months they all looked after the house and kept in touch with me.
How could I take that for granted? It's just too special.
Got you thinking yet? What do you take for granted? What do you experience regularly without a thought, but would really notice it the moment it was taken from you?
Let's hope we do not leave the opportunity to be grateful for what we have too late.
Another bit of a rant I know Readers. Even as I was writing it I was thinking "Have you really explained what you were hoping to explain?" I'm just grateful for the fact that I can write this blog, I certainly do not take it for granted that I have the opportunity to put my thoughts down for others to read if they are really, REALLY bored !!!
Various events over the past 12 months have really prompted this post, and by having this forced rest is probably giving me too much time to think. And then I write.
I'm sure each of you could do this too!!!
Anyway Readers, I'm really trying not to take anything for granted in my life now, and I hope I have planted just a few little seeds for you to consider, especially as we approach that time of the year where we are even more aware of each other.
Until my next post...
Cheers 😁
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