Life As T-Rex !

Hi Readers,

Once again laid up on the couch with nothing much else to do, so in order to maintain some level of sanity on a Saturday, why not bang out a post?

Early warning though, this post will not be about anything to promote deeper thinking, self betterment, growth mindset etc. Totally light hearted, prompted by some events of the past few days and onwards.

As you know if you're a regular reader, I had significant leg surgery more than 8 weeks ago and have had to rest on the couch for pretty much all of that time as I wasn't to put any weight on it. Talk about boring !!!!

Anyway, this week I had a visit to my surgeon and due to my diligence with my rehab I am now permitted to put about 10% weight on it every now and then, building up to 50% load in about 5 weeks. How will I know how many 'percents' I'm loading up on !! I just had to laugh about this as by now I'm totally over worrying about my predicament and just have to laugh about it. Please don't think I'm not being careful, I certainly am as I don't want to jeopardise my recovery in any way so that I get out of this boot and walking as soon as I can.

So that's the status with my foot. Sort of.

I've also had an injury in my hand that has been worsening over the past two years. Basically, it's called 'trigger finger', where the finger locks in a clenched position and needs help to straighten out as the condition worsens. All linked to the tendon and the shaft that it lives in. That's not a doctor's definition, but it's the easiest way to explain it. It's an overuse injury in many cases and I think mine developed when we painted our last two houses before selling them. As usual I just went hammer and tongs to get the job done, ignoring the wise advice from Jen to take it easy and not do too much. Now I suffer the consequences. Jen would laugh at me then just as much as she's probably laughing at me now. I didn't have the opportunity to have my leg or hands treated while Jen was sick, so it is all being done now, which is why I've been a bit of a human pin cushion over the past few weeks.

Not blaming anyone else but me, so I've nothing to complain about.

So yesterday I was in hospital again to have the operation. As I was being prepped by the various nurses etc, it soon became time for my wonderful surgeon to see me before he started dessacating me.

He told me all that would be involved, and did a casual check of my 'good' hand for comparison. He noticed that I had the same condition in a finger on my left hand, which I also was aware of but didn't think it was as serious as my right hand. He said he could do that hand as well, and you can imagine my shock !! After explaining that I would still be relatively mobile, I signed away my hands to him. The funny thing was that a nurse went to great care to shave my right hand in preparation for the operation, but as the decision came so late to do the other hand nothing was done to it. I now have one hairy paw and one naked paw !!

Coming out of surgery I saw that both hands were bandaged as expected, but also that my arms are covered in the red liquid that they smother you with to sanitise everything. After my leg operation this took weeks to fade, so I might be scrubbing my arms a bit this week before I front up back for work on Friday after yet another lengthy lay off.

Trust me when I say that things look better now after a very dear friend came around and changed the dressings for me and cleaned my arms up a bit. Thank you Denise !🙏

The strangest thing I've noticed today however after much of the sedation has worn off is that the finger on my 'bad' hand that is next to the one that was operated on has the same condition too. I just didn't notice it as much due to the problems with the finger on that hand that was causing so much discomfort. It's not as bad as the one that was fixed on my left hand, but will obviously need fixing down the track.

Ho Hum !!!

Now, to the reason for the title of this post.

 Life As T-Rex !

It has been a running gag at my workplace over recent years when my posture at times has resembled that of a T-Rex, with my hands only reaching out a short way when doing things due to having a previous shoulder injury that required surgery. As luck would have it I damaged my other shoulder last year and now my posture has at times gone "Rexxy" again as I don't have full mobility with it. When I reach for things my arm doesn't extend properly and resembles the arm movements of a T-Rex. They mean no offence and none is taken.

I remember when I worked in a bank 41 years ago where we had a staff member with under developed arms that he carried in front, much like a T-Rex. We called him "Skippy" Can you imagine that now? Even now I look back in horror that we actually called him that, and that he encouraged it !!

I know for sure that with all of this woke movement we now find ourselves in that some people would sue for discrimination etc. I even heard on the radio this week that a hospital told their doctors when delivering babies to not say "You have a boy/girl". They have to say things like "You have a healthy baby", because they are not to assign genders to babies so quickly as they can't be sure what gender the baby will be identifying as. Really !!!!!

Back to being Rex now, I digress as usual !

It has been a nuisance with this bung finger over the past few months when it locks into a clenched position, especially when doing the simplest of tasks. I thought that with just one hand out of action I'd be able to cope, but I have learnt very quickly how much more difficult even the simplest of tasks are. It's also my dominant hand. Plus, my posture is now VERY Rexxy as I have my hands out in front a lot just to relieve the pressure on them if they are by my side.

I had to sign a form yesterday and the difficulty with that was real as I couldn't hold the pen properly, hence my writing resembled the doctor's writing. Yes, it got that bad ! I had to physically straighten my finger with my other hand, and to say that it is painful is an understatement.

I could even see the look on his face as I was doing this and he just nodded at me as if to say "You need this done now"

That's just one random example. Think of all the things you do in a day that require full use of your hand, or try doing them with one finger clenched. It sounds easy, much harder to do. Which is why I spent a few days getting my classroom set up early as I knew that it would be so difficult to do after the operation. I even bought left handed scissors to use. I guess they'll be staying in the packet !!

And it's not just doing it with a clenched finger. Try doing things without using your palm, which I can't do right now due to that being where the incisions and stitches are.

Just the simple act of getting up off the couch and not using your hands as support is somewhat challenging, especially doing it on one leg at the same time! 

Not complaining though, just laughing at myself 😂

Let's look at this light heartedly and not take this too seriously, as when I woke up this morning I could only laugh at myself and what has been happening over the past months.

I haven't tried this yet, but it is hard enough on one leg. I washed and changed all the sheets on all the beds a few days ago and had to do it on my knees. Even just flipping the sheets onto the bed was hard as my finger would lock and upset the technique a lot. As for fitting the pillow slips....

I worked out that instead of crawling around the edge of the bed I could do a commando roll over the top of it to get to the other side. Improvisation at its best!!

Just accepting the situation and not letting it bring me down !

And possibly the hardest thing has been accepting the fact that I do have to ask for help at times, as much as I feel guilty in doing so. I have been blessed in so many ways with so much support lately, not just with my body falling apart, but also with the care given in helping me cope with what happened last year.

      As luck would have it, we are doing part of our First Aid course when school resumes next week. CPR is a necessary part of this. As I said earlier, using my palms is out of the question, so PLEASE do not have a cardiac arrest near me in the foreseeable future!!!!

Regular readers would know how much I love riding my motorbike. After losing Jen and coming back to Bendigo after those 7 months in Melbourne I was looking forward to getting back on it. 3 weeks later I do my shoulder and am unable to ride it, save for 1 or 2 sneaky rides just to satisfy my need for a spin. My dodgy fingers also prevented me from riding it due to needing full mobility for the levers on the handlebars. Added to this I was unable to even do the straps on my helmet, which you sort of need to use when riding!!

Definitely the posture that somewhat resembles me now. Just grabbing things off the plate is difficult, especially with the numbness that I'll be putting up with for a while. The first cup of coffee spilt a fair bit as I couldn't feel the force that I needed to apply in order to lift it, or feel how hot the cup was. It's amazing how quickly one learns new techniques and methods when the need arises.

Peanut butter on toast this morning was an industrial mess as I struggled to spread the butter on the toast and hold the toast at the same time.

Not complaining though as I'm fascinated discovering the new ways to do things differently.

Regulars would know how much I value exercise and physical fitness. Pretty much any physical activity is on hold right now, unless I  want to work on my left leg only ! Still okay to dream, as I know that each day I'm a day closer to getting back to doing what I love most.

If only !!

This is pretty much what meal time looks like, or any activity that requires using my arms. I thought I'd be able to wash some of the purple goo off my arms this morning, how wrong was I ! Thanks again to my guardian angel 🙏

One of the joys of my job is that I get to play games with my class, sometimes too enthusiastically for my own good (#Shoulder 2022 !)

I can actually envisage one of my colleagues bringing out the Twister mat and challenging me to a game when I get back !! Thanks Dave !!!!

 And yes readers, I know many of you might have been thinking about this, and MANY friends have sent various messages joking about it and I don't mind. I'd probably do the same and it is quite okay to laugh about it. For me anyway, so don't worry about joking about it with me.

So what's it like? 

I'll leave it for you to work out, but I knew it was coming, and not until it actually happened did I realise how adaptable one needs to become !!

Once again I expect some light hearted banter to join in a game or activity, only to be reminded "Oh, you're a bit Rexxy right now".

I'd laugh at it too, I'm not one who'd be offended as I see the need to see the brighter side to any bad situation. I'm lucky to work with a group of people who know how to do this with nothing but the best of intentions in mind.

Revenge is sweet !!!

Okay Readers, I'm saving the best for last, as this occurred this morning and was just so frustrating that it became laughable and prompted this post. I wish I could have filmed it, it was such a Mr Bean moment.

For the past 8 weeks I've had to place my leg in a garbage bag and tape it up and rest it on a stool when I have a shower. I also have to sit on a shower stool with my leg sticking out the shower door. Luckily in our other bathroom the shower has a nozzle on a cord that I can take from the wall to use. Not a pretty sight, so don't try picturing it  😳

I've always found this to be a tedious chore, but no longer now. I wish it was the least of my cleanliness routine !!

Because of my hands I need to bag them up too. No worries I was thinking.

I got some freezer bags and placed one on my hand. Then I started putting the masking tape on. First problem. I couldn't physically manipulate the tape and peel it from the reel due to the lack of coordination I have right now. Some of you are probably thinking I've always been this way!!

Anyway, I eventually peeled away a length and started to wrap it around my wrist. Only trouble was the bag kept spinning around my wrist at the same time. How do I prevent the bag from spinning around? A bit of resting it against a ledge sort of helped, but little did I know what was to follow.

I had to do the other hand.

My left hand was in a bag now, so already the peeling of tape was looming as a major problem. Enter mouth and teeth. Length of tape sort of pulled off. Using hand in bag to try and wrap it around other hand but tape sticks to bag on that hand. I use the other hand in a bag to try and peel it off, but it only makes the problem worse by sticking to that one. This going back and forth and the F-Bombs were becoming louder and more frequent 🤬 I needed stronger bags that the tape would still stick to, but not tear the bags if it needed to be moved a little.

Good time to use one of the many Woolworths plastic bags that I use for my shopping. I had one of these on one hand and a freezer bag on the other. The "Woolies Hand" would be the washing hand and the freezer bag hand would stay in the air and as dry as possible.

My 'bad' hand

My 'good' hand, which wasn't going to be operated on until the last minute.

This is what I'm working with, hoping to get the tan off before I head back to work next week.

It was sort of going well until I started to tape it up.

No problems doing the leg, had lots of practice lately.

Good plan.

Until I started the shower.

How was I going to apply the shampoo to wash my hair? Yes, I hear the smartarses among you saying "Hair? You???" 👨‍🦲Yes, I know there's not much left but I do treat it to the love and devotion it deserves as long as it chooses to be there!!

So I put a dollop of shampoo on the palm of my Woolies bag and try to rub it over my head. Not being able to feel it happening meant I had no idea if it was happening at all. You try to use a shopping bag to wash your hair next shower and you'll know what I mean.

Then came the body wash. Same sensation. Using smooth plastic to wash yourself just doesn't seem right. A washer will be coming to the next shower.

Being creatures of habit, do you find that when you have a shower you unconsciously do the same routine each time? You know, start here, go there, usually in a particular order?

Well, I do. Until this morning. I was keeping my 'bad hand' up high to protect it, so the body got washed with just one hand. A bit awkward getting to the places that the other hand usually got covered.

Eventually I hosed myself down and thought that was it.

Wrong.

Drying myself.

Once again, do you dry yourself in a particular way? eg Legs first, head first etc

Try doing it one handed seated on a stool in a confined space. Keep in mind that you are not placing any pressure on your palms and that you cannot grip with your fingers yet.

I should have just gone and sat in the sun naked and let nature do it for me !!

Eventually dryness settled upon me (not in the way I just mentioned !!)

Now I better smell nice, as I knew I had visitors coming. Out comes the BO spray in a pump pack as Jen and I don't like using aerosols. Sounds simple just pumping a few times. Until the moment where you can't grip the bottle properly or push the pumper as your fingers are still not bending. I was trying it two handed and I now know that my face doesn't smell. Also, Rexona Sport tastes terrible and hurts your eyes!!

I eventually managed to get an acceptable layer where it was needed, I'll need to develop a technique before my next shower !!!

I hope that you didn't form a mental image of this, it might put you off your food for a long time !!

I could go on and on Readers with this self indulgence but I'll spare you the boredom of it. I'm sure there are going to be many, many more things to adapt to but it's okay. People get so much worse and once again a perspective pill is all that is needed. It's always front of mind that every moment is a step closer to full recovery. I'm not sick. I'm just broken.

I hope you can laugh with me about what is happening right now, because I'm choosing to.

I can't see any point in moping, better days are always coming.

As I said, nothing serious about this post, I just hope that you don't take the simple things for granted. I often do, I'll try not to from now on, not just for me, but for others too.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁