It's the little things...

Hi Readers,

Another gap between posts, it has been a very busy week at work with parent meetings, so I've needed to be on my game and be really organised. Whether I was or not is probably better judged by my colleagues!!

Something that has been nagging away in my mind lately is that I'm just not that concerned with big picture things right now. I'm just content with letting little things satisfy me, and not being overly concerned with chasing big ideas or tasks. I know for sure that I have some ahead of me, but I'm either not paying enough attention to them, or just realising that in the big scheme of things, they aren't as important as I'd otherwise consider them to be.

I see it as a plus, but also a negative, so I'm somewhat at odds with myself!!

So how did I come to realise this?

This next bit will make you think I've really lost the plot, but go with me and see if it makes sense to you.

I'm sitting here watching the Tigers play West Coast on tv, but just sitting drives me nuts. I need to be doing something else at the same time, so what did I decide to do?

Vacuum the house. And keep an eye on the tv of course !

Yep. Weird. He's totally lost it.

But while doing this very mundane task that takes at best 2-3 mins, I was barely thinking about what I was doing. By just taking on this little job I realised that such a minor, short task was putting me in a place where my mindset improved and gave me greater clarity about the purpose of this post. I was no longer thinking about cleaning up the house, but realising that this simple task was enabling me to understand some other things a lot more. It was like the big complexities of some things that are on my mind were easier to comprehend purely because my mind was slightly on something else at the same time. In a way, the vacuuming made me forget about all the things that I thought were getting in the way and opened up a way to clearer solutions and clearer understandings.

I didn't know at the start how I'd structure this post, or how I'd try and explain myself, but by doing the vacuuming the ideas seemed to come to me more easily.

Once gain Readers, I try to explain myself and it's as clear as mud.

Let me try and explain it another way.

As most of you would know, I've had a few operations over the past 6 months and am still getting over them. The recovery has been so slow which I was told to expect, and for someone who has made it his mission to do something energetic every day the enforced layoff and inactivity has been driving me nuts to say the least. I have been meticulous and dedicated with my rehab which is why I am improving, slowly, but at least I'm improving. I have to often check myself and not push things as soon as I find that I can walk a little more each day unaided. I'd love to put on my runners and go and see how far I could walk, but I know that I'd undo all the hard work I've put in since the operation last November.

So what happened today that has had such a huge impact?

I rode my motorbike.

It has been 6 months since I've been on it and all morning I've been moping around the house feeling flat about a few things, and I thought to myself "I think today could be the day".

There is a bit of stress and pressure on your feet when moving the bike before getting going, so I wasn't going to do anything that would undo the surgery. I moved it around the carport a bit with no problems, so I knew that I was ready to go. 

I raced back inside (closer to the speed of dark rather than the speed of light !!) and got my gear and was back in the shed to get the rest of my gear and go.

The feel of the bike as I turned it over and the vibration in my hands on the handlebars was something that brought it all back straight away. On went the helmet, then the gloves, a last minute check of everything and off I go.

It just felt soooooo good !!!!

I hadn't even planned where I was going to ride, I just rode. In less than 3-4 minutes I was going past the cemetery so what better opportunity than now to spend some special time with Jen, something that I do often.

I hadn't planned on going there today due to the weather, but would have done so at some point over the weekend. Maybe it was Jen just telling me to get my arse over there to see her !!

The point I'm trying to make here Readers is that just the simple act of going for a ride on my motorbike has put me in an extremely positive mindset and already I'm telling myself that I have so many other things ahead of me that I can now do with greater confidence and gusto.

I wouldn't be feeling that way now unless I did that ride. I could have just as easily said that I should wait a few more weeks before attempting it, and Im so glad I just sucked it up and went for it. When riding the bike there is no radio or phone to distract you, so the time to just think about things is so good, which is why I love it so much.

A simple task that seems so insignificant has resulted in so many benefits.

How many more simple tasks are there that I do without thinking that could have similar effects?

Does it work for you as well?

The vacuuming. It's a mindless task at the best of times, but because I don't have to think about the vacuuming while doing it, it lets my mind go to other places and other things.

Still with me?

Get what I'm banging on about, or just thinking "You've been burning too much incense again!!"

There are other occasions where this has really made me more aware of the need to have some sort of 'distractor' that enables me to think through things more clearly....

At these times I have been able to think my way through something just by doing a menial task that required no thinking, just a minute bit of concentration.

A few times in the past 2-3 months I've been asked this same question in a number of ways. Sometimes gently, sometimes so bluntly it's like a slap in the face.

"Are you lonely?"

I've never stopped to really think about it as it just upsets me and I generally block it out and think of something else.

However, during the recent holidays I was fixing my security system to a different part of the house, something that didn't require too much thinking, so I was able to let my mind wander to other things while I was doing it.  And my mind wandered back to this question.

Throughout the first 2 months of my early rehab where I basically lay on the couch all day with my leg raised I was determined that I wouldn't become a lazy slob so I put structure into every day. This meant that I wasn't going to become excessively bored or lazy and that I needed to have some goals to achieve each day.

And maybe some form of exercise, no matter how small.

As a result, I didn't have time to think if I was lonely or not. I had things to do and I didn't need anyone around me to do them. I wasn't pining for human company as I'm quite okay with my own company. I'm not saying I don't appreciate all the friends and support I have, I just don't need people with me all the time.

So no, I'm not lonely.

Sort of.

As I said, I don't feel the need to have others around me, however I am incredibly lonely for the company of just one person, and it's not rocket science as to who that might be.

That's my lonely.

Last year when I was living in Melbourne, the doctors asked me to keep a diary of my observations on how Jen was each day in the short time that she was in the unit near the hospital with me. They needed to know how she was reacting to the treatment, so the notes needed to be pretty precise.

It wasn't long before she was back in hospital again, and after a few weeks a team of doctors called me in to assess things. This was the first time where they began to prepare me for the inevitable and sat me down to say that things were becoming grim.

I was looking through the diary the other night and I came across my entry for that day.

I walked back to my unit from this meeting with the doctors in an absolute fog, trying to comprehend and fathom what I had just been told. 

Al I could write that day was "Never before have I felt so lonely".

So, to me, being lonely is not about having people around you. It's when all hope seems like it has been taken from you, and I can remember every step home from the hospital that day, the looks on the doctor's faces as they spoke to me and the sheer helplessness I felt each day onwards as I went back to the hospital to be with her.

We could be surrounded by people all the time and still be lonely.

Readers, all of this became ever so clear to me just as I was fixing my security system. When numerous people have thrown this question at me I have usually brushed it off as I just didn't have an answer, but now that I have actually thought it through while doing something else I think I can explain myself to them more clearly, while understanding myself a lot more as well.

It mightn't have happened until my security system went on the frizz, so there's always the slightest bit of silver lining to every crappy situation!!

Two menial tasks:

• Vacuuming the house
• Fixing the security system
• There could be 100 others where the same thing applies. It doesn't matter what the situation is, its just something to take your mind off it.

After thinking about my waffle for a few hours ( Yes, I do write, take a break, re-read, delete, delete, delete)  I have come back with a new thought. There is no science whatsoever to back up what I'm saying, I only use personal experience. 

Perhaps when we take on a simple task and then think our way through bigger issues at the same time, it somehow enables us to shut out all the things that prevent us from seeing the issue as clearly as we should, acting as a filter of sorts? Getting rid of the white noise that gets in the way of clear thinking?

Just a thought that came to me.

Results? Understanding what puts me in the right frame of mind and knowing that when I do something "meaningless" I am giving myself time to sort out other things.

I'm not saying this is what you should all do, it's just what works for me. If I'm not doing something at the same time I tend to overthink things. No wonder when we'd watch a movie Jen and the boys would always get frustrated with me as I'd be fartarsing about doing something else at the same time, distracting them and making them cranky at me!

Even now as I'm watching the Tigers on tv I just couldn't sit and watch, I needed to be doing something else at the same time, hence I'm doing this post.

(By the way, we just won! Woo Hoo !!🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅)

And who said males cannot multi-task!!!!

I don't plan on doing a menial task in the hope that clarity and enlightenment will naturally occur within me. It's just that it normally happens when I'm doing something so trivial that my mind tends to see other things more clearly. I still don't know If I've explained myself, but in my mind I have, even though it mightn't appear so to you. Sorry!!

I can't predict what will happen when I go and get the clothes off the line in a few minutes. Maybe I'll be a better teacher of literacy because something will dawn on me??? (Read last post) I hope so.

 Further to the 'lonely' question that I often get, it gets worse (well, in my view).

I won't list the other questions that I've been asked, or the 'advice' that people give me without me even asking, but needless to say they can be confronting. Some even offend me.

However, I manage to sort out my responses to them and cool my jets by taking on a simple task that lets me think things through more clearly so that when it happens again I am much better prepared to deal with it.

After writing this paragraph I went and rode my bike in the garage (on rollers) for an hour and a bit just to clarify my thinking. See, I think better when I'm doing something that doesn't require much thinking, but lets me concentrate on something better.

That sounds so weird, that I do something so that I can think more clearly about something else more clearly 😳

I suppose that's just me. 

So what Have I been trying to explain today I hear you thinking while scratching your heads? Don't undervalue the power of the little things in life, and how they can actually be bigger things in disguise. I use the power of analogy constantly, and this helps me to find purpose.

For example, we get about ten magpies on our lawn regularly and the sounds they make is just beautiful. We'd never disturb them or shoo them away, and would actually put the sprinklers on during hot weather as they'd often come and sit under the spray. How is this relevant? It reminds me to look out for others who might be doing it hard for whatever reason/s and that just a little gesture from me can make a big difference to them.

Do any of you give a little wave of thanks or acknowledgement when someone lets you into the traffic? Or do you let others in? Little things, but potentially big benefits.

And I'll save the best for last. When I mow the lawns, I just can't bring myself to go over a bee that may be in the path of the mower. I'll stop and shoo it away as I've seen docos recently that emphasise the importance of bees to us and how threatened they really are. No bees, and then there isn't much hope for the rest of us. Sound petty? Not for me. The message? Take care of the little things, they often have bigger consequences.

So Readers, quite a vague post today, but I just wanted to explain how doing the little things in life can sometimes free your mind a bit so that you can work out other things going on in your life.

Or maybe not.

Maybe it's just what works for me.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁