A Teaching Career

Hi Readers,

I'm a bit surprised that I'm writing this post now as it is one that I thought I would have written ages ago. Now is the time it feels more appropriate to write it as Ive had a number of weeks to actually get a little more accustomed to not going to work.

Like most teachers, I had the Summer holidays, and as school has only been back for 4 or so weeks, I still don't feel that I have completely finished yet, especially as I'm actually on Long Service Leave for quite a few more weeks. Once that expires, then I'll know for sure that I'm finished. The past few weeks have felt like just a bit of an extra holiday.

So the purpose of this post?

Many people have said that I must have so many stories to tell after 38 years of teaching. Well, yes, I do, but most of them would bore you to tears.

So in no particular order here are just some things that occurred over this time that have really stuck in my memory. I'm sure that others will come to mind the very minute I hit "Publish", but that's just the way things go.

So here goes...

Put that shovel down please!

Perhaps Donna Mac explains this story better than I could write, from a previous school we both worked at a number of years ago...

I remember after this kid threw the shovel at me it hit me square in the "Jatz Crackers" I was down for the count.

I looked up at him and could see that he immediately was thinking "Shit, what have I done?!!!" and tears started to well in his eyes.

My response?

"You shouldn't have tears in your eyes, only I should after that!!!!"😭

A little while later a few Gr 6 boys saw me and caringly said "You okay now Mr K?"

To which I replied doubtfully, "Yeah, he only got me in the leg"

They just nodded and said "Yeah, right", knowing full well where the shovel hit me.

A case of males bonding through sharing the pain!!!

"You rolled well Mr K"

While on the subject of injuries, can I share this story that happened just two years ago? 

I may have referred to it in a previous post, so if I have please just blame that on my advanced years!!

My Gr 5 class were having a tennis clinic and the coach asked me to help do the demo for how to do a volley from a high lob.

She put the ball up in the air and I started to step backwards in order to get into position to volley it. All was going well until I started to get my legs tangled with each other, which wasn't part of the plan, and I stumbled and fell, landing right on the point of my shoulder. Immediately I knew I was in trouble as I had done the other shoulder previously playing football many years ago and had surgery on it to fix it.

As I was on the ground trying to get up with an arm that was not responding, all I can remember was the shocked faces of my class. Scared might be a better word.

Doing my best to try and calm and reassure them I was okay I did all that I could to try and show that I wasn't hurt, but it was pretty obvious that I was in a bit of strife.

Luckily two other teachers saw it happen and were over in a flash to help me and started to take me to the sick bay. One took over my class, the other steadied my arm and took me away. 

As I was walking away a lot of the kids were giving kind reassurances to me but one stood out.

It was from one of the boys who was always keeping it cool and a real sports nut. As I walked past him he just patted me on the arm and said "You rolled well Mr K"

I know it sounds corny, but if you knew this kid you'd know how much that meant to me, and how heartfelt it was from him.

To top things off, it was also my birthday!!

A couple of days off and after a few more months I had to get surgery on it to try and fix things up a bit, but that comment from that boy will live with me forever.

"That's Mr K, he played for Richmond"

Part of who I am is that I talk a lot of crap!!

And I love my Richmond football club. Pity all the kids who have had to put up with me banging on about them every year, especially when for about 34 years of my career we were perennial cellar dwellers and a laughing stock.

One year I created a "Footy Card" and just pinned it on the wall near my desk, just waiting for some sharp eyed kid to see it.

Eventually one day it was spotted and the kids asked if they could look at it. They weren't fully convinced, but also weren't ready to call BS on it either, as I told them that when I 'played', footy cards weren't as flash as they are now. Technology just wasn't as advanced.

"So you played for Richmond, did you?" they'd ask, and all I'd say was "What does it say on the card?"

I wasn't actually telling a lie, but I'll have to admit I was creating an untruth!!!

Anyway, this ruse has been going on for years, some kids believe it, but most who know what I'm like just put it down to 'just another stupid Mr K joke'!!

Until one day a few years ago at the start of the year, one of the kids brought her Dad in to meet me. After the usual pleasantries the child said enthusiastically to her dad, "Mr K also played for Richmond!!"

The dad looked wide eyed at me as his daughter pointed out then handed him the "Footy Card". At first he was interested, but then I could see the edges of his mouth curl into a slight grin. He looked at me and winked and gave the card back to his daughter. I'm sure that by the end of the year his daughter realised the awful truth!!!!

The Smoker's Balcony

Another random memory that has stuck with me Readers. Remember in a previous post I wrote about how when we think about one thing, it often triggers other memories that we have otherwise all but forgotten about. Well this is one of them, and at the time we all considered it to be normal, but looking back today you might just be horrified that this was once allowed.

This was back in the late 80's, a fantastic decade that I thoroughly enjoyed!!! Some may think I'm still there!

At this school, at the start of the year there was much discussion at a staff meeting as to where the smokers on staff could go at recess or lunch to have their darts. They weren't too keen at always having to walk around the block out of sight, due to weather, getting seen by parents, or just not being bothered to having to walk so far.

Eventually it was agreed that a smoking space would be created for them on a balcony on the top floor of the school. It overlooked the main street, but they were still out of sight unless they decided to lean over the balcony.

Can you believe that this was even discussed, let alone enacted???? Chairs were even provided!

There were a number of darters on staff, so some lunch and recess breaks saw a few people up there destroying their lungs, but at least they weren't being grumpy towards us as they chased their nicotine fix.

All things came to a head eventually as some staff were opposed to what they saw as preferential treatment towards those with a habit that was quickly being shot down in public. If a smoking space was established, then what other spaces could others be entitled to? A gym? Gambling room? Knitting enclosure?

The one thing that happened that shut down the Smoker's Balcony happened one day when a group of them accidentally locked themselves out on the balcony, and as the end of lunch bell went they found that they were stuck. 

Remember Readers, no mobile phones back then. 

Meanwhile, down below in the yard other teachers were collecting their classes, but it soon became obvious that a number of classes were having an extended lunch and no-one knew why. It took a while before someone put two and two together and realised where they were, and it was about ten minutes later that a few sheepish teachers came trotting down the stairs sucking on their mints to hide the smell of smoke.

Let's just say that the Smoker's Balcony was quietly, but immediately closed from that day onwards!!!

"Be careful with the Wasabi!!"

You might find it hard to believe, but I actually taught Japanese for 3 years.

I didn't know much about it, but I managed to 'teach' it!! It all happened because at the start of one school year in particular our school did not have a languages teacher, so the day before school started the Principal called me into his office, explained the situation, saying that he wanted me to fill the role. 

"But I know nothing about Japanese"

He assured me I'd be fine as the school would support me with a Uni course, blah, blah, blah.

The decision was more or less made for me, and to be honest, looking back I kind of enjoyed it.

Early in the piece I put on a bit of a display for the staff one night to promote the learning of Japanese. Little activities, posters, signage, games etc.

I also put out some samples of Japanese food, with lots of dipping bowls, one of these being a bowl of Wasabi and some dipping biscuits.

One teacher in particular just wouldn't heed my warnings about going gently on the Wasabi, and loaded up a biscuit with about a teaspoon of Wasabi.

I cautiously warned her about what was about to happen, to which she replied "I know Wasabi!!!"

And down the hatch it went.

Have you ever just watched someone eat something that you know will destroy them, and waited for the full effect to hit?

At first there was a look of complete shock on her face as she realised her mistake, but not wanting to be seen as having not listened, tried to brave it out.

The eyes started watering, little coughs grew into larger coughs and she was looking everywhere for the nearest thing to drink. Even the fire extinguisher was looking attractive at this point. Still not wanting to admit to the error of her ways she stayed put and tried to act as if nothing had happened, but in the end it was too much and she flew out of the room to get some relief.

Not a great experience for her, but great entertainment for the rest of us!!

"Has anything changed while I was on Maternity leave?"

Having taught in Catholic schools for almost my entire career, part of this encompasses attending Masses. For those not familiar with Catholic traditions, at Mass the churchgoers receive a small wafer during what is referred to as Communion/Eucharist. It tastes and looks like the same wafer that is used for ice cream cones.

Anyway, these days it is always placed in the person's open hands due to greater awareness of hygiene etc. It is referred to as a host.

But back in the day people would often have it placed on their tongue, and as someone who often had to assist in the distribution of the hosts, I hated having to put it in someone's mouth as there would be times when your finger might touch the tongue of an overly exuberant parishioner! Uughh! I dreaded getting the 'wet finger' 😖

 

On this particular day, a colleague had been away on Maternity leave and had only been back teaching with me for a few short weeks. She kindly volunteered at a school mass to assist with the the distribution of the hosts and asked me if anything had changed while she had been away. With the straightest face I said that in order to not get your fingers wet when putting the host into an open mouth, you could now place it flat on the palm of your own hand, then flick it into their mouth with your other hand, thus eliminating all contact.

"What a great idea" she says.

A few minutes later we are on the altar and had been given our cups of hosts to distribute. At the last minute she leans into me and says "So we can just flick it into their mouths can we?"

I quickly responded by saying I was just joking and not to do it. Imagine if she had??????

And while on this, the churchgoers are meant to say 'Amen' as they receive the host.

Having done countless school masses, among some of the responses I have received have been:

• Thank You!
• Can I have another one?
• What do I do now?
• Can I have a bigger one?
• Hello!!
• Some even put it in their pocket

I know this is all about a ritual in the Catholic tradition, and by making a slight joke about nearly got me into a world of trouble!!

Not every day was happy though.

I had one class in particular early in my career, having taught them twice in my first 4 years of teaching. Just about all of these class members have stayed in touch with me, they were just the best group of kids and we had a ball. They have invited me back to reunions, and at one in particular they even prepared a Roll for me to read out to check in with who was attending at that pub on that day. I even took a class to a cricket clinic a few years ago and one of the girls from this class was running the clinic for Cricket Victoria. It was the greatest catch up. 

 I'm feeling my age now as these class members are starting to celebrate their 50th birthdays!!

And just as this class gave me some of my greatest memories, it also provided me with some of my saddest.

One of the girls suffered terribly from asthma, and tragically passed away while in secondary school from an attack. I was very close to her family as her mum worked at our school, and they were extremely well known and regarded in the community. A tragic loss.

Another boy in the class suffered the loss of his mother in a domestic violence shooting, and unlike today, we didn't really have the amount of support mechanisms available at the time to support him, or to help us as teachers to help them and ourselves to cope. Salt of the earth family, it was an extremely difficult time for all.

I taught his younger brother a year or two later and I could still see the effect that this was having on him.

Imagine my horror to hear that in recent years both brothers have taken their own lives.

Absolutely brilliant kids who I am sure grew up to be fine adults, but just had more to cope with than they could handle. May they forever rest peacefully.

There have been a few others who have lost their lives in car accidents or from illnesses, but these three examples still are very raw to me.

"Don't you think that looks lazy?"

When we moved to Bendigo at the end of 1999, I was tasked with teaching a Prep/One/Two class at my new school.

Talk about causing stress- I'd never taught Prep before ( apart from when I taught Japanese, but they probably had no idea what I was teaching then, nor did I!!)

Anyway, back then I just loved reading to the kids, and the same applied right up until I retired at the end of last year. My kids knew that I loved reading to them, and they loved being read to. 

WIN WIN!! Or it meant they got out of doing work!

I've never really liked sitting higher than the kids. If they are on the floor I'll often sit on the floor too. If I'm on a chair and they are on the floor, that still isn't good enough for me.

So in order to bring myself closer to them, and them closer to the books, I bought a beach lounge to school to sit on as I read to them.

The beauty of this was that they could sit all around me as I read to them and it felt like we were ALL involved in the book.

Before too long they were able to set the chair up without being asked to, and some of my best reading memories stem from this simple action.

However...

It took quite a while for others to accept what I was doing, teachers and parents combined. One of the most common comments was usually along the lines of "Doesn't it look lazy?"

If I did the same thing but sat in a chair it would have fine in their own eyes, but sadly for them they just couldn't get how much more engaging it was for me and my class.

Right up until last year I'd still be on the floor as much as I could, especially when teaching maths, and it always gave the kids a laugh as they watched me trying to get up from the floor due to my various ailments!!! I just loved being at the same level as the kids, and I'm sure some of you would be wondering "Physically or Intellectually?!!!?

"Is that a good image for our school?"

This next one is somewhat more recent, and isn't a rant, just an interesting observation.

As many of you know, I also ride a motorbike.

A few years ago I also took on the role as Co-Principal for a year, a role that on reflection I didn't really enjoy, but I'm glad I gave it a crack.

I'd ride the motorbike to school when I could, and one night after school a group of parents approached me about it.

"We don't think that it's a good image for the school with you riding your motorbike to and from school"

At first I thought they were joking, but then I realised they were serious.

I just flippantly palmed them off, saying something like "I'm just being environmentally aware". They rolled their eyes a bit then left, and while I thought it was odd at first, I quickly forgot about it.

And it was also useful in rounding up the pigs every time they got loose!!!

Imagine my surprise the next night after school and another posse of parents approached me about the same thing. "We don't think it's a good look seeing our Principal riding a motorbike"

I stayed calm, fully realising that some 'Car Park Gossip' had gone too far and decided to stand my ground. I explained that by riding my bike I was living out our school philosophy for environmental sustainability, using less fuel, not even taking up a car space and so on. Well that's what I said, but we all know that I just like riding my bike!!!

They left, I left (on my bike of course) and I made sure I rode it for the next few days just to emphasise my point.

I'm sure they meant well and felt comfortable in approaching me, but that was an argument they were born to lose.

Maybe that's what created my Book Week Costume later on?

And while on the subject of Book Week, aren't I glad to park that baby in the past from now on. Our school always did a great job with it, but there is always the annual stress of "What will we do this year?"

There could be a lot worse things than a Principal riding a motorbike, and while it didn't offend me, it just surprised me.

It could have been a lot worse as some of these pics from over the years show...

                  

Well Readers, this has been a most enjoyable post to write as it brought back so many memories. Did I cover all that I wanted to? Hardly.

I just picked randoms from the list and enjoyed the time spent reliving them in my mind.

I spared you the times when I set up a fellow teacher's classroom outside on the basketball court.

Or the time when a teacher lost her lunch all over the Parish Priest on a bus trip.

Or being presented with a cheese cutter after cutting the cheese with a knife for my entire 1st year as the only male staff member.

Or setting up a bike in the classroom to see how far we could ride during the Olympics.

Or having pigs heads set up on the staff room table as part of a medieval feast.

Or dressing up as a God knows what for our Medieval Day!! I look more like a Telletubbie!!

Or hearing that a teacher got back from a camp in Melbourne only to receive a phone call to say a child had been left behind!!

I'd better not go into too much detail about some things or there may be an investigation.

What are the statutes of limitation in Australia?????

It has been a blast and I've always been able to not take myself too seriously, and laugh at myself.

I've been fortunate to have had such a career and to have met the people who have helped make it. And the memories, they will last forever.

Until my Alzheimers kicks in!!

Until my next post,

Cheers😁