The Power of One !!

Hi Readers,

Another gap between posts, due mainly to being back at work after our generous Christmas holiday break. It's not that I don't have time to do the posts, it's just that I now have to prioritise my time more, or perhaps make better use of my time.

A few events over the past few months have prompted the title of this post, but even more so over the past two weeks. The relevance and importance of the number one, and how it has influenced so much of what I've been doing, and what I'm hoping to do has resulted in quite a few responses and reactions from my part. Some of these have been somewhat amusing, others frustrating, some joyful and others depressing.

I'm not for a moment complaining about any of these, it's just that the significance of the number one in each of them has really got me thinking about them lately.

 

I'll start off with the most recent example, one that really P%$#@D me off at first, but now I sort of understand it, even though it still makes me mad!!

The Single Supplement.

I'm taking some leave later this year and was planning to go over to Europe and complete the part of a trip that Jen and I had planned to do, but as things have turned out, that will never be possible.

We had always wanted to do a river cruise through Europe, from Amsterdam to Budapest. Although we have already been to both of those cities, there is so much of Germany that we still wanted to explore, and this was how we wanted to do it.

Over the past few weeks I have been doing some research, and every time I see a good price I go ahead and try to book it only to find that the prices are always based on Twin-Share. When it comes to the part where I need to tick "1 Passenger", the price goes up quicker than Donald Trump's hair in the slightest of breezes !!

For example, last week I found a good trip that matched my dates and it was something like $11 000.00. Not too bad considering what it offered. However, when I checked in as a single........$19 000.00 !!!!! As I said, I get it, but just can't submit to it. I even tried checking in as a couple, but then it was still two fares, which was more than a single fare.

No matter where I looked it was a similar case with every cruise line, even the ones that were spruiking "Special Fares for Singles". Pretty soon I began to see how challenging things are for the solo traveller. The booking arrangements definitely do not favour the soloists, and I'm not complaining about it. Annoyed and frustrated, yes, but at least I'm able to understand and accept it. Well, maybe eventually !! Forking out nearly twice the fare of others does not give you any extra benefits, you're just probably paying for the spots that they were hoping would be taken by a couple, who would then hopefully spend more.

That's my new reality, but it was a bit of a shock discovering it so brutally!

I've had many people suggest that I should look around for someone else to accompany me. Not interested.

This was going to be our trip, so I just want to enjoy it by myself, just as if Jen was there with me.

Whatever I end up doing, it will still be memorable and worthwhile, I just need to tweak a few things. The Power of One person....or lack thereof !

Now that I have that off my chest, I can look at a few other things light heartedly.

Why light heartedly? Because after all of the things that have gone wrong with my body over the past 18 months, I can only laugh at myself.

The Power of One...Leg!

Around 15 months ago I had a significant operation on my right ankle. I was told the recovery would be lengthy, and boy, were they correct on that one! Since that day I have been managing as best as I can on my one good leg, hoping that the 'fixed' one would soon start pulling its weight again.

Yeah, right !

I can have days where it looks like I'm walking normally, only to sit down for a while in a meeting or something, and when it's time to get up I'm hobbling due to stiffness settling in.

People must be wondering what the hell is going on !

Thank goodness for the one 'good' leg though, it gets me out of many an embarrassing situation. Just as my good leg has the power of supporting me as much as possible, I still get amazed at the power of my bung leg in slowing me down. Things like wearing thongs are a hassle due to the lack of feeling and nerve damage in my toes. The best way to describe it is that it feels like tv static throughout my foot. Before this I never knew how much we rely on the sense of touch in our feet to successfully wear thongs !!

While I'm talking footwear, some days I feel that I need a right shoe one size bigger than the left shoe, just to ease the pressure. Imagine going into a shoe shop and ordering a size 9 shoe and a size 10 ! That one leg is sure exercising its power!!

At least I'm not having any problems with my socks. 🧦

I tend to find out what I can and can't do more by accident. One of these things is that I still can't balance on one leg. My bung leg won't let me do that yet, it's just its way of telling me that my ambition mustn't outweigh my ability. The kids in my class have had many a laugh as they watch me lose my balance trying to get up from the floor in the classroom.

They also get a laugh out of hobbling past me as if they have a bung leg too, doing great impersonations of me, knowing that I can't run them down and catch them.  😖

Luckily they know that I see the funny side of it too, and they only do it in jest. Little buggers !!

The Power of One...Leg !🦵

The Power of One... Finger.

Time to laugh at my own situation again, this time at how just ONE finger can lead to so much disruption.

My only problem here though has been that one finger played up first, then 5 others thought it would be a great idea if they did it too !

Basically, the tendon in my finger gets stuck, and an operation is needed to release it. Otherwise, my finger gets in a locked position and won't straighten unless I forcibly straighten it myself, which is usually very painful.

At first I had one finger on each hand done and for a week or two I was wandering around school looking like a T-Rex with both hands strapped and pretty useless.

Fast forward a few months and I need two more fingers done on my right hand. More T-Rexing. 🦖

Another few months and the other hand needs two fingers done, that's 6 so far. By now I'm asking my doctor when this will end and he thinks my thumbs will be okay, but my last two fingers are already showing signs of the same condition.

So what has this taught me?

You can do amazing things one handed. Or should I say, it's amazing how one can adapt to trying to do things one handed, especially when you have to use the opposite hand.

Just think of some everyday tasks that you do Readers, then try and do it with the opposite hand.

Cleaning your teeth.

Shaving.

Changing the gears in your car (luckily my new car has push button gears)

Cutting up your dinner

Pouring a kettle

General cooking.

Drying oneself after a shower.

Doing up your shoelaces, or buttons on a shirt

Typing

Pulling the cord to start the mower (Now that must have looked funny to my neighbours!!)

I never knew how much I took for granted, and once again all I could do was laugh, as bitching about them wouldn't change a thing.

Then I had the hassle of a shoulder needing some work done. Here I now am having hassles walking, using my hands and now using one arm for most things.

The past few weeks at school I've been caught a few times trying to scratch an itchy bit on my back that I can't reach with my good arm. Rather than trying to turn myself inside out I just go up to a doorway, lean back and have a good old rub up and down or sideways, just like we often see bears doing against trees in the forest. Even I have to laugh at what this must look like !!

Looks odd, but feels sooooo good!!

It has been a new world Readers of discovering new ways of doing the most basic things, some successfully, but most done in what must look like the most hilarious methods if you were a spectator watching.

I did mention last year how hard it was making the bed with one leg and both hands out of action, and how I'd do commando rolls over the bed to spread the sheet out. I'm back to doing that now as I can't flip the sheet out with both arms as one just won't participate, no matter what expletives I use !! Hanging out the washing. Try doing that one handed!

So the events of the past year with my body have really showed me how important each limb and digit really is, and how losing the use of one can have such an impact on what you do.

But the most important lesson I've learned is that my hassles are only temporary ( a long temporary so far) and that I'm still incredibly lucky that I've been able to sort of get fixed. So many others don't get his opportunity and live without total use of limbs and digits for long periods of their lives, or permanently. 

Certainly another example of taking my favourite pill.

So, in saying this, I'm just pointing out that we often take just so much for granted.

Wasn't it Phil Collins who has a line in a song that says  "We had a life, We had a love. But you don't know what you've got 'till you lose it"

I just used to love running, to the point of obsession. Now being able to only walk sort of properly, I really know what I'm missing, but I can't dwell on that. Rather than focus on what I can't do, the focus needs to be on what I can do.

I'm currently reading the most fantastic book that a great colleague at work gave to me to read.

 

This book has resonated with me just as much as another book that I've banged on about in quite a few posts, "Zero Negativity" by Ant Middleton.

Nedd ran across Australia, as one would do.

But what really stood out is that he too had setbacks when one part of his body would check out for a period of time. But rather than wallow in self pity, his attitude was often "What else can I do still?" Not letting the power of one setback skittle him completely.

Think of the little "Powers of One" that we endure that at the time are the most life threatening, tragic and catastrophic, but in reality........

- The pimple that appears in the middle of your forehead just as you are trying to impress your new crush. 

- The paper cut on your finger that makes you think that an amputation is imminent.

- The ice cream headache, that has us nearly calling for the ambulance.

Jen always maintained that these never existed, as she never had them. Tell that to someone who gets them!!

I know I joke about these trivial things, but it's amazing how one little thing can seemingly have so much power, to the point that they become so much bigger than what they really are.

In Nedd's book he talks about 'looking for the blue sky days' when things are troubling us. Not these futile things that I'm light heartedly making fun of, but some of the things that are more serious for us. Only you know which ones to consider here. 

He mentions that sometimes there are just no words to explain how hard they are at times, but that we must just try and envisage 'a blue sky day' in the future when hopefully we may be able to get on top of them.

This part of his book slapped me in the face like a wet fish, as I just have no words that can explain how much I miss Jen, but in order to try and dig myself out of this hole I need to look for my own blue sky days. This is a "Power of One" on a much higher level, as it is all about one person in my life, and we all have them in some shape or form. In one way I'm lucky that I can laugh at most of mine as they are pretty pathetic in the bigger scheme of things. And others helping me to see the lighter side of them also helps.

Perhaps that's where we can help others in similar predicaments?

So Readers, if your mower won't start, you run out of milk for your coffee, the internet drops out for a short time or you get a hole in your favourite pair of undies, see it for what it is. It's just one little thing that is making us think it is the most powerful thing.

And it stresses us out needlessly.

I was worried this morning making a barrel of beer, and the biggest problem in the entire world for about 2 minutes was how on earth I was going to lift the barrel onto the shelf in the shed !! The power of one barrel of home brew beer !! 

(Relax, even with one arm I managed to come up with a plan that meant I didn't have to lift it - I'm not going to destroy the work the surgeon did on my shoulder !! )

I created a 'blue sky' moment.

I hope that you all have blue skies heading your way and that you are continually optimistic about them, despite your paper cuts !!!

Until my next post Readers,

Cheers 😁🥂

 

 Time and Space

Hi Readers,

Another gap between posts but I have an extremely legitimate excuse, and one that I share with immense pride and joy.

Jen and I became Grandparents again last week and it has been a rush organising myself to get up to Qld to see our son Sam, his wife Phoebe, grandson Henry and new grandson Angus John. Needless to say, my attention has been completely focussing on them and my blogging has definitely had to take a back seat.

I'm as happy as a dog with two tails at the moment, it has been such a joy seeing Sam and Phoebe add to their family, and to watch and listen to Henry talk about his new brother.

 

              After all the rough and tumble that I enjoy with Henry, I had to quickly adjust to being quiet and gentle with Angus. I realised how much I'd lost my baby skills!

Now, back to the focus of this post, "Time and Space"

Just over a week ago it was our wedding anniversary, 36 years together. I still count the years together since losing Jen, so that's why I don't stop counting at 34 years.

Anyway, I went up to the cemetery to place fresh flowers at her grave, have a drink, play some of our songs and generally just have some time with her.

Nearby was an older man who looked to me to be doing pretty much the same thing, minus the music. He looked across, gave me a gentle nod to acknowledge my presence then continued to sit quietly. I'll point out here Readers that my music was turned down so as not to interfere with any other people.

I only had one can of drink and when I finished it after 10 mins or so, I noticed this man coming towards me. Clearly he took the finishing of the drink as an appropriate time to approach me.

I can't even remember the first thing that he said, but it was gentle and welcoming.. Something like "It's a nice place to be". We made some initial small talk before he told me that he was visiting his wife who was buried nearby and who passed away 6 months ago. He asked me politely who I was visiting, and when I said it was our anniversary I started to tear up and find it hard to talk. 

All he did next was just place his hand on my shoulder and said nothing. He just gave me the time and space to get myself together again. He was a master of judging when to talk again and didn't push for me to talk when I couldn't, or to reveal things that I'd rather not.

I eventually discovered that he and his wife had 60 years together, what a great effort 👏👏

As I composed myself a bit more the discussion flowed and we talked about lots of things. Eventually it came out that I was a teacher, and he asked where I taught. When I told him he said that his grandkids had gone to school there. When I asked about them it turns out that I conducted the interview for the twin girls when they were enrolling a few years ago. I clearly remember one of them crawling around under the table while I did the interview with the other one, and when it came to swap over the one who had just done the interview told the other what to say and do for each activity that we were asking them to do. It's not a formal interview, just a few questions and activities about numbers, letters, colours etc just to give us an idea of what they could do already.

Suddenly this random person and I had a closer connection and this enabled us to talk about things a bit more deeply as we both had an unfortunate thing in common, having lost our partners. He even shared the same name as my late brother, a name that is not very common at all, and I've only ever known 3 people to have the same name. Ironically, one of these was a recent student at my school. We shared our experiences and thoughts for 15 minutes or so, and I could tell that he knew when it was time for us both to have some time to ourselves again.  

Time and Space.

He went back to his wife's grave for a moment, then came back past me and shook my hand saying that he was looking forward to seeing me again. After he left I went over to see his wife's headstone, and lo and behold I knew another of his sons whose children I taught at another school 20 years ago and had a lot to do with. If I'd known this when I was talking to him we may have ended up chatting for much longer than the 15 mins we had.

This is why I chose this title for the post today. This man clearly knew the importance of giving people time and space, and he taught me a lot about it as well.

Readers, I', not suggesting that we all go and hang around a cemetery looking for someone to practice this on, but what I'm suggesting is that it isn't hard to apply it to our everyday lives.

For example, this week is our last week of holidays before school begins again next week. As such, many teachers have been out at school getting their classrooms prepared for the first day. For me, I prefer to get out there, smash out whatever I need to do then get out. I generally don't want to get stuck having long chats with others as I just want to do what I need to do and then enjoy whatever remaining holiday time I have left. I'll still go and say hello to any others in the building but I will be so conscious of not wasting their time as they may very well be wanting to do the same as me.

There have been times when I've gone out there to do some work, got involved in a long chat then came home with nothing getting done at all, meaning I need to go back again to get done what I intended to do in the first place. I know this sounds selfish, but just as much as I want to get my things done, I'd hate to stop someone else from getting their things done. 

By saying to them in the first place something like "I'm just out here for an hour or two to get things done, so I won't hold you up" enables me to keep the distractions to a minimum.

 Maybe it's just being professionally rude !!

Going back to my opening comments about our new Grandson arriving, as much as I wanted to be around them celebrating this wonderful event, I also needed  to be conscious of the time and space needed for our son and his family.

Who doesn't want to nurse the newborn baby ? But when there are other family and friends visiting too one needs to be very aware of the time and space that each person needs. I have in the past been told about arguments starting between families because "they had more time with the baby than we did".

Luckily I get on so well with the maternal grandparents and nothing like this happens. 

When I flew up to Qld our son said I should stay at his house, but this was something that I had earlier decided was not on the cards. It's busy enough with a 3 year old tearing around the house, and then bringing home a newborn, as well as having regular visitors. So, I booked into nearby accommodation that was walking distance away. I could be there for as long or as little as I wanted, being able to pick the times when they needed some peace and quiet and just time to themselves. Also, if I feel that I'm crowding someone I get so uptight, so that's less stress for everyone !

I've mentioned in previous posts that when we see kids walking to the classroom each day we cannot always tell how they are feeling just by looking at their expressions. Who knows if they have just had the worst/best morning before coming to school ?

So, if we have some suspicions we cannot just barge in and drill them with questions about how they are feeling. A bit of time and space is needed in order to subtly inquire as to where their mindset is at rather than putting them on the spot and possibly erasing any chance of having a successful interaction.

I hear some of you thinking "Yeah that's okay for you as a teacher, but how does it affect us?"

I'm sure you have seen a colleague at work looking a bit down some days, or not as energetic or cheerful as they normally are. Rather than charging in with "Wow, you look shocking today !", how about a more patient and respectful approach ?

Before barging in with saying this straight away, as it can be confronting for some, how about some gentle small talk to set the tone ? Just like the man I met at the cemetery. He could see that I wasn't in the greatest place, but his calm and measured approach enabled us to talk so well to each other.

Time and space.

If you'd asked me to suggest this 10-15 years ago I would have laughed you off. Men don't talk about this stuff !!! Yeah, right.

For so long we have had this macho image to maintain, that men don't cry, display their emotions or talk about their feelings. I get that this was how things were for so long, but realise now that it is so important to be able to do these things and to be vulnerable.

It's not everyone's cup of tea and takes time to be able to settle into it comfortably, but the statistics don't lie when we hear about suicide and self harm rates. Being able to check in on each other and to openly discuss things and support each other takes courage as it is still something many people have trouble with.

I've been so lucky at my work to have so many male colleagues who are prepared to do this, especially after the events of the past two years. Often the support is greatest at the most innocuous time. I was sitting in my classroom one lunchtime catching up on a few things when a particular colleague came in and sat down and just asked "How are you travelling?" I could have flippantly said "I'm fine", but it was in the way that he entered, sat and then respectfully put the question forward that I knew that he was genuinely concerned about me. Just by being able to respond to him by the way he approached me meant that I was able to talk about some things that were concerning me, and he was able to listen and help. If not for him stopping by I may have suppressed those things for even longer.

Time and Space.

We all know that person who enters a room and is loud, bouncy, always upbeat.

But sometimes this can be a bit of a pain as well. I read a bit lately about being aware of "reading the room", meaning we need to quickly survey the mood of the room or group of people or individuals we are approaching. It need only take a second or two to do this, but can have a huge impact on how we are received or acknowledged.

Just because someone looks downcast doesn't mean that we act all happy and positive around them hoping that they will soon be like us. Just read the room and provide that necessary time and space. Some things just take time.

Well Readers,

After reading back through this I realise it sounds very self indulgent, but after spending much of the holidays in situations where I have noticed the need to give people time and space it has really resonated with me.

I also drove back from Qld, leaving at 6.00 am in the morning and getting home at 12.30 am the next day. 17 and a half hours in the car alone with my thoughts, listening to podcasts about this and generally throwing ideas around my head for this post.

I didn't plan on driving for that long, as I planned to stop overnight somewhere along the way. I was going so well and had a few rest stops for fuel and coffee that I just didn't get tired at all. But the next day...😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 !!!!

I hope that you can all continue to be aware of people around you and know when some need time, others space and some both. I know I need it !!! Plus give yourself the time and space to be who you want to be.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

What's Your Story?

 What's Your Story?

Hi Readers,

As usual I go hell for leather for a few days then go missing for a few more ! I do have a few chores to do today, but I was just looking at some blog stats and saw that there was a spike overnight of readers from the USA that surprised me. This has happened a few times in recent weeks where there has been a sudden increase in just one day from a given area. Last night there was a hit of more than 80 readers from the USA, and if you're one of these readers I'd love to know how you got onto my blog and what you think.

Criticisms are always welcome, but thank you also for taking the time to read!! Just hit the comments tab at the bottom of the post, and it can all be done anonymously, as a number of you have taken the opportunity to do so.

This shows where my readers for the past 24 hours have come from.

And this shows what time the spike in the USA occurred.

As I've said in previous posts, I'm not overly fussed if I have no readers, just one or more than 100. I just hope I leave you with something to think about.

Well, back to the point of this post. In many of the books that have inspired me over the past two years, a common theme has resonated with me and changed my outlook on so many things, and how I choose to live my life now, and how it has influenced my mindset as I have grown up. 

We all have had various things that have occurred in our lives and these are often the things that make us who we are. They could be events that happened when we were very young, or even as recently as yesterday, and in this post I'm going to describe some things that have happened in my life that have contributed to who I am today.

Importantly, I hope this triggers your own thoughts, and that you can reflect on stories in your own lives and then start to realise "Ohhh, so that's why I'm like that".

These are in no chronological order, or order of importance. They are just more of my random waffles and ramblings that regular readers are now so accustomed to!

Probably one of the biggest things happened to me very early in my teaching career when I was making ice cream with my class for a maths lesson. A kid in the class who generally struggled quite a bit with maths was having a ball and really getting involved. During the lesson this child came up to me and said "Mr K, these numbers all make sense now!"

WOW !! That was a slap in the face, and although we often thought that we were hitting the mark with our lessons, this moment really made me realise how important it is to make the learning meaningful, relevant and enjoyable for the kids. This doesn't always happen, but it's a mantra that I always keep coming back to. It influenced how I approach my maths teaching, and all other areas where possible. Maths is my main strength, but there are still days when I stop a lesson and openly tell the kids "Let's pull the pin on this now, I'm not doing it well enough, we'll do something else and I'll be better prepared tomorrow"

In a recent post I described how I'm not the greatest teacher of Literacy, but that doesn't mean that I don't give it my best each day. I just go in with the same attitude of trying to make sure that I hit the mark in the best way possible for each kid in the class, and we all know that each student needs a slightly different approach.

So to that child in the ice cream lesson so many years ago...Thank You !!! You have probably saved hundreds of subsequent students in my classes from being subjected to endless days of boredom and drudgery (although some of you may say that I'm still doing it !!!)

I also spent 4 years at boarding school from the ages 14-18.

I was always pretty good at maths all through primary school and really loved it but this was well and truly knocked out of me at secondary school.

It was such a dull and lifeless experience, and the teachers I had made it a 'sink or swim' experience each lesson, or at least hat's how it felt for me.

At one stage in Year 10 we were given a test, and the purpose of this was to see who should go on and do the more advanced maths in the following years, and who should be placed in the "General Maths" group. 

"Vege Maths" was what it was called, and it was for the maths dunces, and I was in it up to my neck.  We were often looked upon as those who were just dumb at maths, and it was openly joked about, even by ourselves. Even now when I catch up with old schoolmates we still joke about having to do 'vege maths'.

This also affected me when I was at Teacher's College as I continued to struggle with maths and actually failed it in my first year, then again in my 2nd year. It wasn't looking great for me in my 3rd and final year, and there was a very real possibility that I wasn't going to graduate as a teacher. Thankfully, Jen ( who I had been going out with by then for 2 years) made me pull my finger out, and without her support and encouragement I doubt that I would have ever become a teacher in the first place.

That experience from secondary school really made me aware that I had to be a better teacher than I was a student, and that I didn't teach like I was taught. 

Hopefully that has been the case.

For those of you who know my family, you'd know that I grew up in a large family of 8 kids. That seems really strange now, but when we were growing up it just seemed that everyone had a large family, but we didn't really see it as large at all. Looking back now I sure do, as Jen and I had our 3 boys and I just couldn't imagine what it would be like to throw in another 5 kids on top of that!!

Anyway, I've digressed again. 

I'm going to use different dates in this next story just for privacy issues, but you'll get the drift.

I always had my birthday on June 5th, but when I turned 15 I got reported playing football for doing something stupid or rough, I can't even recall what I did.

Overseas readers, this means that I got sanctioned, or sort of being given a red card. You are still permitted to continue the game, but must face a tribunal a few days later where you are either cleared or given a suspension.

Anyway, as I was only 15 I was required to provide proof of age by way of my birth certificate. Imagine my surprise when I see on the certificate that I was born on June 4th, and NOT on June 5th, the day I had been having my birthday for 15 years !!

When I pointed this out to my mum, she was not fussed by any means, and just responded with a laugh and said something like "Well there are quite a few of you ! "

It struck me there and then that Mum was not going to let something like this cause any concern, let's just get on with life. When I asked her what we were going to do about it she said that I could keep having my birthday on the day I had incorrectly been having it on, or swap to the correct date next year.

I chose to go with the correct date, and this took some getting used to as I already had my 'birthday date" locked in my mind, and changing to a new one did take some adjusting.

And what did I learn from this?

Some things just don't really matter !! Move on, suck it up, grow a pair !

When things might appear as elephants, stop and see if they are actually ants (see recent post) And it summed up the attitude that our Mum always had, she didn't let little things worry her, and it made her more capable to handle the bigger things in life, something that she covered so well.

I hope that she has taught us to do the same.

As regular readers would be aware, I do love my sport and throughout my life, or since I was about 15 I have always loved running. Unfortunately, my love of it has contributed to many of the ailments that I'll now carry with me for my remaining years. All my own fault Readers, so I'm not for a moment complaining .

This came about by chance to be honest.

Once again, it was at Boarding school and our athletic sports were approaching. We were in class (probably one of my hated 'vege maths' lessons ) when a call came over for volunteers to trial for the 1500m race to assemble on the main oval. Do you reckon that class emptied in a flash !!

I'd never shown any interest in longer distance running, but always enjoyed the aspect of endurance through football training. So we did the trial, I finished somewhere in the middle, but realised that I enjoyed it.

In the subsequent days I found myself and a few others going for runs after school, and then this progressed into keeping it up during holidays, and the rest is history.

I have completed a number of marathons and what I have learnt in terms of dedication, persistence and perseverance has stayed with me since.

Even now as I struggle to walk properly 12 months after major ankle surgery, the lessons that have stayed with me over these years still give me a positive outlook in terms of being able to complete tasks. Sure, I doubt that I'll ever be able to run again, but at least I can hop on a bike. Swimming is going to be a challenge, but I haven't given up hope on that.

Just by skipping that class to trial for a 1500m race has given me untold joy for more than 40 years, and I hope that it has shown our boys how much I value the impact of sport and exercise on one's wellbeing. And to do so much of it with each of them over the years made it even more special.

Now Readers, I'm sure that you have done loads of ultra dumb stuff throughout your lives that you look back at now and wonder "What were we thinking then?"

As early teens, and growing up in a small country town, we all pretty much had to create our own fun. 

When I tell the kids in my class what it was like when I was their age they just cringe, and say things like "So what things could you do?"

For example, there were shows on the tv in the morning, but only for an hour or two, then the tv test pattern would come on until the late afternoon when programs began again. No tv during the day, so it was usually outside creating your own fun.

I do realise that things gradually changed over the years, but I remember my childhood as predominantly an outside existence, often doing things that would get us in trouble these days.

For example, we'd go out in the block behind our place ( we had the pub in our hometown) with friends, grab a couple of air rifles and shoot tin cans, bottles etc. Imagine driving around town today and seeing a bunch of 10 year olds with guns !

We'd also make shanghais and have 'wars", often getting hit in all sorts of places, but just getting on with it as that was expected. Our place had a few olive trees, and they provided an endless supply of ammo for a good part of the year.

A favourite pastime was to get the olives when they were really ripe, go up to the balcony of the pub and shoot at anyone or anything that passed below us in the street!

There was (and still is) a big irrigation channel running through the town. It's roughly 25 metres wide, 3-4 metres deep and usually had a firm current. We'd spend endless days swimming in this murky water, jumping out of trees and having a great old time, even though the pool was right next to it. These days one would be in shock if they saw young kids jumping off the bridges as we have become so sanitised and more safety conscious.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with it too, but these years were so formative for us, not just for the risky behaviours we engaged in, but also in the way that we learnt to look after each other, build relationships across year levels and learn to create our own fun rather than wait for, or expect someone to do it for us.

So how did these few examples in my own life contribute to making me who I am today?

In some respects it made me more aware that I have to get off my arse and make things happen and not be someone who expects something from others all the time. The stories in our own lives can hopefully help us to be able to contribute to our lives and the lives of others more rather than always looking for something to take.

In this post Readers I have tended to focus on events that generally occurred throughout my early and late teens, which kind of makes sense as those were the years when I was really starting to find out who I was. There have been other periods in my life that were just as significant, such as raising our 3 sons, the most important people in my life now who I am incredibly proud of and love dearly. Now that I am a Grandparent, it is a new era, that will change even as early as this week as Grandson number 2 is expected any day now. We welcomed Grandson Henry 3 years ago as a couple, so this time will be vastly different as I do it without Jen to share the joy with. This will no doubt be another story in my life that will further influence who I am and who I want to be.

Speaking of our Grandson, he said something to me over Christmas that really left me thinking about what things he must be thinking about me.

His other Grandmother is also called Jenny, and he calls her Granny Jen. In the car one night he just looked at me calmly and said "Where's your Gran?" He was obviously wondering where his other Grandmother was and saw that while his mum had her parents there, his dad didn't have his 'Gran' with him'. Over time he will come to understand what has happened in recent years, but this has taught me the importance of keeping Jen's memory alive for him. His parents are already doing an amazing job with this.

If anything, losing her has been, and will be the biggest thing that will confront me in my life, and how I navigate what lies ahead of me is still a huge question mark. It's one of the stories of my life that I wish never happened, but it did and I must now continue to face it and learn from it. If anything, it has been the biggest perspective pill and every day I get up and know that whatever presents to me today will be minor to what has happened recently.

So Readers, the stories in our lives help to make us who we are. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I hope that by reading this that you can reflect, have a laugh, cringe, shed a tear, whatever! It's amazing how when one thinks of a particular event in time it can also trigger so many similar memories from that time also.

I hope it makes you smile.

A big week coming with a new Grandson any day, our Wedding Anniversary on Tuesday and another trip to Qld. 

Life is good.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁