The Flipside

Hi Readers,

Another few days, another post. Three weeks ago after having my leg operation, and knowing that I was going to spend the next 7 weeks sitting with my leg up, I thought I'd just pump out the posts.

Well, the opposite has occurred. Not through lack of intention, but just through boredom, as nothing much is happening to stimulate ideas to write about. Earlier this week I decided to address this and began reading more, trying to get some inspiration.

And I did, but then I found I had more ideas than ever to write about and couldn't settle on just one. Just now as I crutched out to the mailbox I ran into one of my neighbours. He starts work at some ungodly hour, and this week his car broke down. He tried to roll it down the street to get it started, all to no avail, and he ended up in the paddock at the end of the street. He was able to laugh it off and say that things could be a lot worse, and that really got me thinking.

Often when we think that something bad is happening to us, there is nothing worse in the world. Back in the day I was one of the worst at this and I'd let my emotions and anger get the better of me. Mostly it would be over just the most piddly, pathetic thing, but I always found that I could very easily create the most amazing mountain ranges out of the tiniest molehills! And once I cooled down, or someone called me out, I too would be able to sit back and see what a dick I had been.

Have you been in similar situations?

Years ago when I first started needing operations for various injuries, I was usually quick to sink into self pity, because "no-one had it worse than me" at that time. I look back at those times and I just want to scream at my younger self for being such a self centred and selfish little brat!!! Sure, the injuries and periods of recuperation were annoying, and I was most likely acting that way because I couldn't be up and about doing what I loved most, that being running and any sort of exercise. For a number of these injuries it was this obsessiveness with exercise that contributed to the injuries in the first place, so I only had myself to blame.

I wish I'd been able to see the flipside so much earlier, but it wasn't until Jen first got diagnosed with leukaemia that I really began to see that someone else is always in a worse situation than yourself. As things deteriorated in the subsequent months I made sure that from then on I would do my utmost to NOT complain about whatever ailments I might have, because I had witnessed the worst. I still feel guilty now the first time I ever feel like complaining about being sick or sore, it is such a perspective pill. (see previous posts about "Perspective Pills") I can quickly change my perspective.

This sounds a bit weird, but I actually laugh at the things I've needed done in the past few years. Jen made me promise to "get my bits fixed", and little was I to know how many bits have required fixing over the past 3 years since her passing. It just seems that as soon as one thing gets fixed, another raises its head and says "My turn now"!

It's just like watching Prairie Dogs popping up.

But as inconvenient or painful as they may have been, by being able to consider the flipside I'm able to consider myself lucky that I am not experiencing anything worse. In each case I haven't been sick, just sore, and sore goes away. Usually.

In just the last 3 years I've had ops on 6 fingers, a shoulder, appendicitis, both ankles and a knee. Rather than being down about it, I choose to just laugh at my situation and take the attitude that things are getting better, as they surely couldn't be worse than before.

Last week I got the stitches out of my knee and ankle, and someone remarked to me "Will you be worried about the scars?"

As if!!! That's the least of my worries, as at my age my wrinkles resemble scars anyway, so you'd be hard pressed finding them all!!

I know for certain that I won't be able to run again, as much as I'd love to, so what flipsides are there now? I should be able to walk a bit more easily, so that's a plus. 

I should be able to get back into cycling, but I need to be so careful starting that again as this ankle is the one that always gets released from the cleats on the pedals first, something that requires a sharp twist of the ankle. How much trepidation do you think I'll have on that first ride!!

And if that doesn't work, I'll just go back to the flat pedals and do it from there.

In a few weeks I'll be able to wear two shoes!!! I'm looking forward to that day I can tell you. And I won't need to sit on a chair in the shower!!

Last night I had a craving for gnocchi, so I whipped up a batch (balancing on one leg and one crutch precariously) and mixed it with a bog sauce I had made before I went into hospital. It went into a baking dish, then into the oven. When it was time to take it out, I realised I hadn't thought this through beforehand. (See last post for more on this)

I needed both hands to get the dish out of the oven, but also at least one hand on a crutch. And one leg that isn't allowed to touch the ground. Clearly I was lacking some limbs, while others were out of action. It did take some creative balancing and stretching, and for a 2 second moment I was envisaging a baking dish of hot gnocchi shattering on the floor as the bench was just out of reach from the oven, and I couldn't just turn and place it there. It required 1, maybe 2 steps, which became hops on my good leg, then a rushed grab for the crutches. Success, and a great dinner. And the other half tonight.

There's some flipsides to the irritation of this latest ankle op, as annoying as thy can tend to be at times.

Just yesterday I went and had scans done to the shoulder I hurt last year when I crashed my bike. Turns out there is still a bit of damage there and another operation might be needed. Rather than think"Here we go again", I just found myself thinking "At least I'll be able to get some decent sleep then". Another flipside. I'm hoping that will be my last 'bit' that needs fixing, unless my body parts start Prairie Dogging again !!

All this sitting at home with my leg up has been frustrating, but a flipside has been that I have been able to sort through lots of things at home, do lots of reading, crank out a few posts and organise things that need to be done with another property that we have. It's just amazing how much can be done without even having to leave the armchair.

My caravan has gone up for sale, as has my motorbike. While I'm a bit devastated at coming to the decision to part with them both, I'm content knowing that the flipsides to both decisions are ones that far outweigh keeping them.

While it's pretty cold outside, I'm sort of content sitting here in my armchair, got my 'blanky' and flipping through trashy tv channels while i punch out this post. 

Things could be a lot, lot worse than this! This has been the past three weeks, and it's also my view for the next 3-4 weeks. Rather than moan about it, I'm just going to accept it and look for any positives. 

Another massive positive from being stuck here at home is that I have even more time to read books online for our Grandsons Henry and Angus.

While they have been living overseas I have been recording books online that they can access, and have a 'Story from Pop' when they hit the sack each night.

They get a buzz out of it, and for me it is a joy to do. I've recorded all the picture story books in our house, and now I raid the local library. With around 7o books recorded for them now they should have enough to last until they move back to Australia, but I'll still keep doing it for them.

I've just loved chatting online with them about some of the books, and when I visited them in NYC recently it gave me so much delight when Henry showed them all to me on his ipad.

So sitting around all day definitely has some flipsides when you look for them!!

Readers, in a number of posts I have often referred to the perspective pill, and talked about how we can choose how we can react to all sorts of situations. Sometimes we need a reminder about this and I feel that mine came at the right time when I chatted with our neighbour earlier today. As I continue to be housebound and reliant on others to a large extent, I could easily choose to feel sorry for myself, but not when I start to consider the flipsides in more detail.

Not only has it made me more aware that my situation is nothing compared to others that I know, and for some that are very close to me, but it has also made me more appreciative of those looking out for me.

So the main point of this post is just to stop and think about the alternatives to what we might be going through, and I sincerely hope that you can see that there is always something worse. If you can't see that, then I hope you can, or are getting some help for it.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Consequences

Hi Readers,

A bit of a light hearted post this time as I ponder what has been happening lately. Suffice to say, my life has changed significantly since I spent quite a few weeks traipsing the world!

In my last post I wrote about how I had been in hospital getting a growth cut out from my ankle. It was a little worse than expected which has resulted in a longer recovery period, and already this is driving me nuts.

I've been on crutches a number of times before, but this time it has been emphasised VERY clearly to me that I am to put no weight on my leg for the next 6 weeks. To do so would just stuff up the work that has been done, leaving the inside of my ankle looking like a game of "Pick Up Sticks" !! 

Just doing the simple things around the house need careful consideration as I am now quite paranoid about any potential accidents, and then the consequences that will follow.

This was prompted in the first day back from hospital where I had two crashes in the house. 

The first one was when I was going through a doorway and one of my crutches was at a bigger angle than it should have been, resulting in it slipping sideways and I followed it to the floor. The only thing I remember trying to protect as I fell towards the floor was the ankle that was recently operated on, which I managed to do successfully, but hurt other body parts as a consequence.

The next crash happened when I was trying to put the rubbish bins out. I need to go up 4 steps in the backyard to get to the bins, but I forgot whether I needed to go up the steps foot first or crutches first. True to form, I got it wrong, lost my balance and fell backwards down a few steps.

Once again that little voice inside me was saying "Protect that ankle buddy!!"

Now I stop and think before I go through any doors or up and down the slightest incline, all because of those two crashes. Maybe those consequences of being a tad careless will protect me from future bingles, time will tell.

It's just the little things that I do that I now need to stop and think about before I do them, always asking myself "What could happen here if I don't do this right?"

I also find that I'm questioning myself, thinking that I must be losing the plot. Again!

Probably the one place where I'm most careful is the shower. The crutches stay so vertical when I'm in the bathroom as I know how easily they can slip sideways, especially if the floor is a tad wet. I even have one of those special chairs in the shower that old people use, and now I'm one of those people.

Things slip so easily in the bathroom, and more than once I've bumped against the glass wall in the shower, scaring the living daylights out of me when I consider the consequences of going through the glass.

The main thing I'm aware of here is to not get complacent, as the slightest lapse in concentration could end up with dire results.

This whole mindset has to be maintained with every little thing I do as it will only take one sudden drop of weight onto my repaired leg and all the work from the operation will be demolished, taking me back to square one. Remember, I'm doing these with one leg in the air and one hand balancing on a crutch. At times I have experimented with two hands and just balancing on one leg, but as Julia Roberts told us all..."BIG MISTAKE!!"

Rather than bore you to tears with how I have to stop and think how I will do the most mundane things that we usually do without thinking, consider the things that we do without for a second considering the consequences if we get it wrong in any way.

• Cleaning your teeth. Standing at the sink and keeping your balance on one foot isn't always easy.
• Unpacking the dishwasher, and the draws for the plates and cups are on the other side of the kitchen. How many is too risky to carry in one hand? And is sliding on your arse with a pile of them in your lap really that efficient??
• Doing the vacuuming with one of those stick vacuums. I've decided I need at least 3 arms for this job.
• Getting a hot saucepan from the stove top to the bench, that involves a minimum of two steps. I just cant twist around and stretch.
• Hanging out the washing while standing on one leg. Sounds easy, but not when it involves reaching down for the pegs. Go and try it and let me know how you go!!!
• Making a coffee and setting it down on the bench. You go and sit down in your armchair, then see that the coffee is still on the bench. Do you get up again and get it, or just say "Stuff it, it's not worth the effort". At times I've left the coffee there as I just don't want to risk slipping with the crutches. And just like I did a bum slide across to the dishwasher, I must have looked like a real twat bumsliding across the floor pushing a cup of coffee!! I now use a travel cup with a lid, so I don't need anyone coming around to make me a coffee🤣
• Change the sheets and make a bed. All with one leg in the air and NOT touching the ground. You'll be amazed at how quickly one gets tired.

I have thought about just hopping around on one leg, but that thought only lasted for about half a second, as I realised all the consequences if I lost my balance and the bung leg hit the ground. Just not worth the risk.

In no time at all I'm hoping this will be me....

If you are still with me, well done, stay awake just a bit longer!!!🫩

These are just a few examples of the utterly simple things we do in our lives that I am now finding I really have to concentrate with.

But there have been some other things that I've needed to make decisions on, due to the consequences involved if I don't get it right.

Those who know me would know how much I love motorbike riding. I've had this one for 8 years and just love it.

But this week I heard some disturbing discussion and statistics on the radio. The number of motorbike riders killed on our roads this year is up by more than 20%.

Much of it was due to older males about my age returning to motorbike riding due to a variety of reasons.

- Nostalgia

- Retiring and going back to an old hobby, or starting a new one

- The old "mid life crisis" ( I detest that term SO much!!)

- Economy - They are cheaper to ride and easier to park

Many of the deaths were put down to poorer reaction times as riders get older, declining vision and alertness, the state of our roads and riding inexperience.

Even over the past few months before my operation I had a few scares with cars cutting me off, not giving way etc, and I was already questioning if I should keep the bike, despite my love for it.

But now with the condition of my hands, where I have had quite a few ops in the past two years, and still need another, the condition of my shoulders that have both had surgery and one might need more, and now my leg, I feel that I would be putting myself and others in less than safe situations if I continued to ride. My bung leg is the gear changing leg and I'm questioning its ongoing ability to support me. Bike riders are often referred to as "temporary Australians", and our boys don't need to lose another parent.

Just another consequence of ambition versus ability.

To be honest, I've been thrashing this decision over in my mind for weeks, but once I hit "Post" when I put it up for sale yesterday, an immediate sense of calm was felt, as if my body was telling me that this was the right thing to do. I'd love to keep it, but I am very realistic about the consequences of doing so. 

The next thing I've done is similar, but not easy to accept at all. I'm still not 100% sure if I've made the right decision, but I'm just about there, so I've done it. 

Just under a year ago I bought a caravan, which is what Jen and I were always planning to do. My retirement was approaching and this was going to be our big thing.

I've been away to a number of places, and while at each of them I've had things to do during the day, the nights were totally different. It wasn't lonely as I had things to watch and read and write about. It just wasn't enjoyable. You could all be throwing reasons at me for this, but try as I might I just couldn't get into it.

This week, after lots of thinking and discussion with a few close friends, I've come to the conclusion that I was probably expecting it to be like if it was the both of us in the caravan, whereas now it was just me. 

I've been told "You should find someone to go away with". 

I'm not even considering that at the moment, as I'd always be thinking of someone else. Maybe my mind will change on that at some time. Maybe not, but it's definitely not on my radar right now. And how ironic, or coincidental that as I just finished that sentence, a dear friend rang to check in on me. We discussed this very matter and she has given me such clarity about this, enabling me to consider so many other options and to understand my own feelings and confusions.

So that's the emotional side of it, but while my body was already struggling with the setting up of the van before its latest rebuild. It will be even harder now. There is considerable effort needed popping the roof and awning, things that I could up being stranded somewhere with.

And then there is the fact that I don't really enjoy caravan parks, and just free camping doesn't really capture me either. And I just don't enjoy towing it, even though that's part and parcel of owning a van. I feel I like the idea of owning it, but haven't fallen in love with using it. As I said, if we were able to follow our original plan things might have been different.

So that's a consequence of a pre-held dream changing dramatically, something that I just wasn't expecting to happen. When I first started to have these feelings I quickly tried to dismiss them and to stop being foolish, but they have just become stronger after each trip. It has been suggested to me to keep the van and wait a few years and things will be different, but for me, due to recent events, life is too short to ponder over things for too long and sometimes it's just best to move on.

Readers, I can hear some you screaming at me "You idiot", and that's your right, but I have a motorbike and a caravan sitting outside my window that I can't use for months anyway, but that's not why I'm selling them. The bike will go, I'm resolved to that. But even though the van is for sale there is still a part of me that is thinking that I just might not go through with it. I'll just have to wait and see. Any time I have to go away for holidays I'll plan to use seeing our boys and grandsons rather than flipping away somewhere by myself.

Who knows what mind flipping idea I might come up with tomorrow? The sky is the limit!!

After my leg op two weeks ago there are many potential consequences.

As I have been told to just keep my leg elevated and not on the ground, I'm pretty much stuck to my armchair, hence this wobbly post today. I was very conscious from the start to not turn the tv on until the afternoons, but that rule has been broken this week as I'm not as mobile as I was hoping I would be.

Talkback radio fills the mornings while I read and do crosswords, read books online for our Grandsons to access (my pure joy) and the occasional naps (sleeping is still a nightmare😖)

I've now been able to watch a number of great movies and docos, and love having AFL matches, Formula 1 Races, or other sporting events playing on screen with the volume down. 

Writing posts is also another great escape.

It's not the greatest existence, but it could be worse!!

I'm so conscious of not turning into a Star Wars character, so I'm watching what I eat very carefully, although the medications really kill the hunger significantly.

I even did a huge cook up before going into hospital but that has hardly been touched.

I'm sure the appetite will be coming back soon, I hope so !!

Another consequence of the op and being housebound is that I am not outside on this incredibly bleak day. I'm quite cosy ( although very uncomfortable with the leg pain) in my armchair with a very warm blanket and watching Winter do its thing outside. And the rain has just started on cue for the end of school bell, and I'm relishing the fact that I'm not doing yard duty or bus duty at school. The rain would always start just as school finishes, and always on the days I'd be on duty. 

That's a consequence I'm quite pleased with.

So Readers, I always try to drop a little bomb for you to consider or think about, and this time it's what are the consequences of some of the things you do?

Start with the simply minor. Did you acknowledge someone today, or give someone a smile? 

The consequences of such a 'minor' action could be massive when you really think about it.

Were you in a bad mood because someone made you wait an extra minute or so (or less) for something that wasn't really that important, and you took it out on them, or someone else?

You just didn't get your way? Something minor, or something hugely important. Do you react the same way to both?

I could go on and on and it makes me sound like I'm preaching, which I'm not.

All I'm trying to put forward in this post is the way that I have needed to consider the consequences of piddly things like putting my pants on correctly and then how this makes me think about the consequences of more important choices that I make, be they right or wrong. 

So often I never consider the consequences of the things I do, the past two weeks have prompted me to try and be more aware of the need to do so.

Now, in finishing, today is a day for our family that just breaks me, even though it's only the 3rd time it has happened.

Three years ago today Jen passed after her 10 month battle with Leukaemia. It's not just her passing that hurts, but the manner in which it happened and what she went through. I remember it every day, but even more today. 

Rest peacefully Jen,

Forever Loved, Never Forgotten

So that's it for this post Readers, maybe I've given you something to think about, or act on, maybe not. At least I hope you stayed awake until the end!!!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁

 Recovery

Hi Readers,

I was just looking back at my last post and am beginning to think I may have still been under the effect of medications while I was in hospital, because there are some parts that I don't really remember writing. There's a lesson to be learned there for sure!!

After a couple of days in hospital getting the ankle done, everything is now focused on the recovery. But that got me thinking about a focus for this post, and when I think about recovery, I'm not just thinking about getting better after surgery.

Recovery comes in all shapes and forms, and I want to explore the different things that we may all be recovering from, and how we do it.

In my last post I mentioned that they had given me a blocker that basically made it feel that my leg wasn't mine. No matter what I told it to do, it did nothing. No feeling at all, not being able to wiggle my toes or even move it. It was the weirdest sensation, and as I said, when the nurse lifted it I was watching her and thinking "That's someone else's leg".

Well, over the course of yesterday the blocker started to wear off, and boy do I wish I had it back at the moment. With feeling coming back I can now feel the associated pain despite the amount of pain killers available. Last night for example was a shocker as the last remnants of the blocker wore off. I'm not complaining for a second as I knew this was what was going to occur, but the pain last night was next level. 

When the surgeon showed me an x-ray of what was done I could see why I was in so much pain and what he meant when he said it was a bit more complicated than originally expected.

This is a view looking front on to the ankle, showing the screws holding the grafted bone piece and the plate down the side. The bone had to be cut to get access to the growth that was removed. I'm in total awe at the skill of our doctors.

So for the next 6 weeks I'm basically sitting at home with no weight on the leg at all, then another 6 weeks of gradually getting weight on it. Luckily I have retired so I'm not stressing about missing work or falling behind. I was also lucky that I crammed in so much travel in the past 8 weeks, something that I can hopefully get back into once I am more mobile. The main thing is that I don't want to stuff up the work that has been done as I'd hate to do it all again.

And some of the best advice came from one of my brothers who also has a positive approach towards recovery as he has been in a similar boat.

"Stay away from magnets!!"

I could only laugh.😆

So that's just a snapshot of the physical recovery that I am facing.

What else might we be recovering from? Short term AND long term?

To start off in a rather light hearted manner, I'm still recovering from the recent golden era that was produced by the Richmond Football Club from 2017-20 where they won 3 Premierships in 4 years. After 37 years in the wilderness before this they were perennial cellar dwellers, or just missing out on making the finals and becoming the laughing stock for so many rival supporters. Just as quickly as they rose to become Premiers, they have dropped back to the bottom again. I can only hope that the recovery at Richmond is not a long one, but I can still bask in the sunshine recalling all the joy that the team brought to its supporters during those years.

The next type of recovery is a bit different.

As you might recall if you are a regular reader, I retired at the end of last year after a 38 year teaching career. I have never been one to seek out attention, and if anything, I try to avoid it. Even having to stand in front of others when they sing Happy Birthday at work is something I'd always try to avoid, and I always feel uncomfortable when receiving praise or being acknowledged.

At the end of last year there were a number of occasions where people ever so kindly acknowledged me for my teaching career, but I never feel comfortable being a part of this. I'm more than happy to contribute if it is for someone else, but when it's me, I'd rather not worry about it. 

Please do not think for a second though that I am not grateful for these acknowledgements, far from it. I just find it difficult being the focus. So, after the number of occasions where this happened late last year I now feel that I have recovered from the anxiety that it brought to me, but I am still affirmed by what so many people shared with me and about me. 

Like me, you have probably had a major disagreement with someone. A work colleague. A parent. A sibling. A partner.

Often the closer that person is to us, the more severe and intense the disagreement. 

But how good does it feel when the apology is offered or given, or the situation is resolved, or the both of you just suck it up and get back on as you always have. 

I just loved that feeling of making up, admitting one's fault and just reigniting what was most likely a great relationship. 

I recall if Jen and I had a blue, often neither of us would admit fault and just sulk around the place for a day or so hoping that the other would fess up first and apologise. When this didn't happen it would often be resolved just by us embracing in a warm hug, a kiss and just saying 'Sorry' without needing to go back into what caused the blue in the first place. Most likely something so minor and pathetic but both of us were too stubborn to give ground. Usually me!!!

That warm fuzzy feeling of making up was always so good, and we were so lucky that the longer we were married, the less it happened. I honestly can't remember our last disagreement because we always made up so quickly. We'd obviously worked out a way to recover quickly from these little setbacks.

You might recall from my last post that I mentioned how we encounter different triggers from time to time that make us recall things that we may not have thought about for years. Well, that's how it is for me.

Sometimes though, these triggers make me recall things that have happened in my life that I wish never happened, and in a way they feel unresolved and just festering in the background, meaning I haven't fully recovered from them.

For instance, when I was at Boarding School many of us turned on a particular student for no particular reason and made his life a misery. Actually, there was no reason for this at all. Bullying is constantly in the news at the moment, and what we did to this person was bullying to the extreme. 

A few years ago we had a reunion and we knew this person was coming too. How brave.

A couple of us spoke about how bad we were to him, and how gutsy it was for him to still come. Clearly we were feeling the guilt of our own appalling behaviour in our late teens and were nervous as to how he would receive us. To his utter credit he walked in and greeted everyone so warmly, and received the same back. For many of us our guilt was very evident and who knows what damage we did to this poor person and what he carried with him in the years after leaving school. We were so fortunate to be able to discuss this among ourselves, something that males in particular are continually being encouraged to do and it has brought us all even closer as we get older. Many of us mentioned that we had been carrying guilt over our treatment towards him for many years, so perhaps this greater opportunity to speak openly with each other was a type of recovery for us. And to his credit, he is still maintaining contact with us all since then, something that he just didn't have to do after what we put him through. I hope he recovered from what we did to him.

Respect to him.

This next type of recovery is still very pertinent to me right now as it is also related to my latest hospital experience, but has nothing to do with my ankle and knee that are giving me so much grief at the moment.

I'm recovering from the absolute kindness that I was the recipient of during my hospital stay. From the moment that I walked into the reception on an extremely cold morning, the young man on the desk was just so welcoming in the way that he acknowledged me as I presented myself to him.

In so many shops and businesses our interactions can tend to be very robotic, to the point where one wonders if they should even bother trying to interact with the other person. Often when I encounter these people I just try even harder to get a response from them, or a smile. No harm in trying, but when I leave they are probably thinking "What was it with that creepy old guy?"

No sooner was I greeted so warmly by the reception guy, two lovely older ladies who were volunteers at the hospital came over and introduced themselves and asked if I needed any help, or could they carry my bag and crutches. I kindly declined, as they looked like they needed the crutches more than I did, and chatted with them as they took me up to where I would be admitted. They were lovely!!!

I kid you not Readers, it just kept getting better!!!

My next interaction was with a male nurse who did my admission form, asking all the questions etc. Pretty soon we were talking about other things and I found out that he was a runner who had just completed the Great Ocean Road Marathon over the weekend, a run that I would have loved to do if only I could still run. The next ten minutes was full of exuberant marathon stories and experiences, I was in heaven!! Any nervousness I was having about the upcoming operation was evaporating by the minute.

This nurse couldn't have done any more for me than what he did on Tuesday morning, and it just wasn't WHAT he did, but the manner in which he did it. Just so warm and friendly, jovial and ever so cheerful. Who knows, he may have been feeling crappy inside about something else, but he was doing everything possible to make my day better. And it becomes infectious.

Into the gown and onto the bed in the waiting room. Another nurse comes in and collects details, and yet even more of the unbelievable kindness and friendliness that has been displayed by everyone I'd dealt with already.

Then the anaesthetist comes in, a man who I knew well as I taught two of his sons many years ago at a different school in Bendigo. Lots of laughs as he recalled all the stupid things I'd done with his boys and how I made one of them become a Richmond supporter!! He had told lots of the other nurses this story and when they spoke with me they'd always mention it. But not only did we share lots of laughs, he was also so sincere in the way he acknowledged the things that have happened in recent years in my own life. This person sure knows how to treat people.

Into theatre and yes Readers, the love was everywhere again!!

Lots of banter and chatter from the staff who did everything to put me at ease.

And then that beautiful moment as the medicine starts to kick in, I just love that drifting away into sleep. I always see if I can fight it, no luck yet. How good would it be if we went to sleep like that every night...I'd never get out of bed!!

The next day and a bit was spent in bed with a leg that didn't belong to me, and the three different nurses who cared for me could not be held in higher esteem. The care they gave was exceptional and we all had so many laughs. Nothing was ever too much trouble and I was so touched when one of them came back when I was leaving just to wish me all the best.

So what has this to do with recovery?

I'm actually recovering from the explosion of kindness that I was subjected to from absolutely everyone who I encountered at St John of God Hospital here in Bendigo. There were others too. The Pharmacist, the Physio, the OT. Even the cleaners and the catering staff were the same. 

And how could I not forget to mention the utterly fantastic nurse (name withheld) who was as exuberant, bubbly and cheerful as the scrubs she was wearing yesterday and today. She was a ray of light when I was feeling the worst last night. Thank you 🙏

I had a visit from a friend who is part of the Leadership at the hospital and made it known to him how impressed I was with everyone and I could see that he was chuffed as they work on it.

There was no way that I could even consider complaining about something such was the way they treated me. Sure, the brekky order was missing stuff and another order was mixed up, but there was no way I was going to make a fuss as they happily sorted it out when I mentioned it.

My physical recovery has been enhanced by the way I was treated, and I'm still recovering from how blown away I've been by this experience.

What a great thing to have to recover from!!!

So what do I take from this experience?

Try to be like them. The way that they treated me left such a lasting impression, so why shouldn't I try and make others feel the same when they deal with me. If I can make someone feel the way that these people made me feel then I'd call that a great day.

Many of the things I'm recovering from are governed by time and space, such as the timelines I've been given for my ankle and knee.

But there are others where the recovery has been slow and painful, and the loss of Jen is foremost here. Some days I feel that I'm making good progress, others I feel totally lost. I was speaking to the nurse in the bright scrubs about this and I said that I was probably coping better when I was working as my mind was preoccupied with lots of other things. But now I have more time to think about other things, and more time on my hands, I'm finding that I'm struggling with her loss more now than previously, because this is the time when we were meant to be doing all these things together. 

It's just another approach to recovery that I'll work out as things bubble along I guess.

So Readers,

Recovery has so many different shapes and forms. I had a wild thought just now that I should go and do some totally random things tomorrow, until my brain clicked in and reminded me that I'm going nowhere for some time!!!

One thing I've noticed though is that recovery involves commitment and dedication towards the outcome that you want. I've always been pretty good at doing that with my injuries, I just need to work on the headspace a bit more. Just knowing that you need to do this is a step forward I feel, next is identifying what it actually looks like.

In finishing, have you ever considered what you could be or might be recovering from? Were you aware of it, or only realised it after responding to a trigger or seeing it in someone else? More importantly , do you need help with it?

I'm blessed with so many people to chat through things with. Years ago I would never have raised certain things, but events of recent years have meant that I no longer worry what people think about what I say or write about, as long as it is appropriate of course!!

Good luck in whatever you may be recovering from!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁