The Flipside

Hi Readers,

Another few days, another post. Three weeks ago after having my leg operation, and knowing that I was going to spend the next 7 weeks sitting with my leg up, I thought I'd just pump out the posts.

Well, the opposite has occurred. Not through lack of intention, but just through boredom, as nothing much is happening to stimulate ideas to write about. Earlier this week I decided to address this and began reading more, trying to get some inspiration.

And I did, but then I found I had more ideas than ever to write about and couldn't settle on just one. Just now as I crutched out to the mailbox I ran into one of my neighbours. He starts work at some ungodly hour, and this week his car broke down. He tried to roll it down the street to get it started, all to no avail, and he ended up in the paddock at the end of the street. He was able to laugh it off and say that things could be a lot worse, and that really got me thinking.

Often when we think that something bad is happening to us, there is nothing worse in the world. Back in the day I was one of the worst at this and I'd let my emotions and anger get the better of me. Mostly it would be over just the most piddly, pathetic thing, but I always found that I could very easily create the most amazing mountain ranges out of the tiniest molehills! And once I cooled down, or someone called me out, I too would be able to sit back and see what a dick I had been.

Have you been in similar situations?

Years ago when I first started needing operations for various injuries, I was usually quick to sink into self pity, because "no-one had it worse than me" at that time. I look back at those times and I just want to scream at my younger self for being such a self centred and selfish little brat!!! Sure, the injuries and periods of recuperation were annoying, and I was most likely acting that way because I couldn't be up and about doing what I loved most, that being running and any sort of exercise. For a number of these injuries it was this obsessiveness with exercise that contributed to the injuries in the first place, so I only had myself to blame.

I wish I'd been able to see the flipside so much earlier, but it wasn't until Jen first got diagnosed with leukaemia that I really began to see that someone else is always in a worse situation than yourself. As things deteriorated in the subsequent months I made sure that from then on I would do my utmost to NOT complain about whatever ailments I might have, because I had witnessed the worst. I still feel guilty now the first time I ever feel like complaining about being sick or sore, it is such a perspective pill. (see previous posts about "Perspective Pills") I can quickly change my perspective.

This sounds a bit weird, but I actually laugh at the things I've needed done in the past few years. Jen made me promise to "get my bits fixed", and little was I to know how many bits have required fixing over the past 3 years since her passing. It just seems that as soon as one thing gets fixed, another raises its head and says "My turn now"!

It's just like watching Prairie Dogs popping up.

But as inconvenient or painful as they may have been, by being able to consider the flipside I'm able to consider myself lucky that I am not experiencing anything worse. In each case I haven't been sick, just sore, and sore goes away. Usually.

In just the last 3 years I've had ops on 6 fingers, a shoulder, appendicitis, both ankles and a knee. Rather than being down about it, I choose to just laugh at my situation and take the attitude that things are getting better, as they surely couldn't be worse than before.

Last week I got the stitches out of my knee and ankle, and someone remarked to me "Will you be worried about the scars?"

As if!!! That's the least of my worries, as at my age my wrinkles resemble scars anyway, so you'd be hard pressed finding them all!!

I know for certain that I won't be able to run again, as much as I'd love to, so what flipsides are there now? I should be able to walk a bit more easily, so that's a plus. 

I should be able to get back into cycling, but I need to be so careful starting that again as this ankle is the one that always gets released from the cleats on the pedals first, something that requires a sharp twist of the ankle. How much trepidation do you think I'll have on that first ride!!

And if that doesn't work, I'll just go back to the flat pedals and do it from there.

In a few weeks I'll be able to wear two shoes!!! I'm looking forward to that day I can tell you. And I won't need to sit on a chair in the shower!!

Last night I had a craving for gnocchi, so I whipped up a batch (balancing on one leg and one crutch precariously) and mixed it with a bog sauce I had made before I went into hospital. It went into a baking dish, then into the oven. When it was time to take it out, I realised I hadn't thought this through beforehand. (See last post for more on this)

I needed both hands to get the dish out of the oven, but also at least one hand on a crutch. And one leg that isn't allowed to touch the ground. Clearly I was lacking some limbs, while others were out of action. It did take some creative balancing and stretching, and for a 2 second moment I was envisaging a baking dish of hot gnocchi shattering on the floor as the bench was just out of reach from the oven, and I couldn't just turn and place it there. It required 1, maybe 2 steps, which became hops on my good leg, then a rushed grab for the crutches. Success, and a great dinner. And the other half tonight.

There's some flipsides to the irritation of this latest ankle op, as annoying as thy can tend to be at times.

Just yesterday I went and had scans done to the shoulder I hurt last year when I crashed my bike. Turns out there is still a bit of damage there and another operation might be needed. Rather than think"Here we go again", I just found myself thinking "At least I'll be able to get some decent sleep then". Another flipside. I'm hoping that will be my last 'bit' that needs fixing, unless my body parts start Prairie Dogging again !!

All this sitting at home with my leg up has been frustrating, but a flipside has been that I have been able to sort through lots of things at home, do lots of reading, crank out a few posts and organise things that need to be done with another property that we have. It's just amazing how much can be done without even having to leave the armchair.

My caravan has gone up for sale, as has my motorbike. While I'm a bit devastated at coming to the decision to part with them both, I'm content knowing that the flipsides to both decisions are ones that far outweigh keeping them.

While it's pretty cold outside, I'm sort of content sitting here in my armchair, got my 'blanky' and flipping through trashy tv channels while i punch out this post. 

Things could be a lot, lot worse than this! This has been the past three weeks, and it's also my view for the next 3-4 weeks. Rather than moan about it, I'm just going to accept it and look for any positives. 

Another massive positive from being stuck here at home is that I have even more time to read books online for our Grandsons Henry and Angus.

While they have been living overseas I have been recording books online that they can access, and have a 'Story from Pop' when they hit the sack each night.

They get a buzz out of it, and for me it is a joy to do. I've recorded all the picture story books in our house, and now I raid the local library. With around 7o books recorded for them now they should have enough to last until they move back to Australia, but I'll still keep doing it for them.

I've just loved chatting online with them about some of the books, and when I visited them in NYC recently it gave me so much delight when Henry showed them all to me on his ipad.

So sitting around all day definitely has some flipsides when you look for them!!

Readers, in a number of posts I have often referred to the perspective pill, and talked about how we can choose how we can react to all sorts of situations. Sometimes we need a reminder about this and I feel that mine came at the right time when I chatted with our neighbour earlier today. As I continue to be housebound and reliant on others to a large extent, I could easily choose to feel sorry for myself, but not when I start to consider the flipsides in more detail.

Not only has it made me more aware that my situation is nothing compared to others that I know, and for some that are very close to me, but it has also made me more appreciative of those looking out for me.

So the main point of this post is just to stop and think about the alternatives to what we might be going through, and I sincerely hope that you can see that there is always something worse. If you can't see that, then I hope you can, or are getting some help for it.

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁