Recovery

Hi Readers,

I was just looking back at my last post and am beginning to think I may have still been under the effect of medications while I was in hospital, because there are some parts that I don't really remember writing. There's a lesson to be learned there for sure!!

After a couple of days in hospital getting the ankle done, everything is now focused on the recovery. But that got me thinking about a focus for this post, and when I think about recovery, I'm not just thinking about getting better after surgery.

Recovery comes in all shapes and forms, and I want to explore the different things that we may all be recovering from, and how we do it.

In my last post I mentioned that they had given me a blocker that basically made it feel that my leg wasn't mine. No matter what I told it to do, it did nothing. No feeling at all, not being able to wiggle my toes or even move it. It was the weirdest sensation, and as I said, when the nurse lifted it I was watching her and thinking "That's someone else's leg".

Well, over the course of yesterday the blocker started to wear off, and boy do I wish I had it back at the moment. With feeling coming back I can now feel the associated pain despite the amount of pain killers available. Last night for example was a shocker as the last remnants of the blocker wore off. I'm not complaining for a second as I knew this was what was going to occur, but the pain last night was next level. 

When the surgeon showed me an x-ray of what was done I could see why I was in so much pain and what he meant when he said it was a bit more complicated than originally expected.

This is a view looking front on to the ankle, showing the screws holding the grafted bone piece and the plate down the side. The bone had to be cut to get access to the growth that was removed. I'm in total awe at the skill of our doctors.

So for the next 6 weeks I'm basically sitting at home with no weight on the leg at all, then another 6 weeks of gradually getting weight on it. Luckily I have retired so I'm not stressing about missing work or falling behind. I was also lucky that I crammed in so much travel in the past 8 weeks, something that I can hopefully get back into once I am more mobile. The main thing is that I don't want to stuff up the work that has been done as I'd hate to do it all again.

And some of the best advice came from one of my brothers who also has a positive approach towards recovery as he has been in a similar boat.

"Stay away from magnets!!"

I could only laugh.😆

So that's just a snapshot of the physical recovery that I am facing.

What else might we be recovering from? Short term AND long term?

To start off in a rather light hearted manner, I'm still recovering from the recent golden era that was produced by the Richmond Football Club from 2017-20 where they won 3 Premierships in 4 years. After 37 years in the wilderness before this they were perennial cellar dwellers, or just missing out on making the finals and becoming the laughing stock for so many rival supporters. Just as quickly as they rose to become Premiers, they have dropped back to the bottom again. I can only hope that the recovery at Richmond is not a long one, but I can still bask in the sunshine recalling all the joy that the team brought to its supporters during those years.

The next type of recovery is a bit different.

As you might recall if you are a regular reader, I retired at the end of last year after a 38 year teaching career. I have never been one to seek out attention, and if anything, I try to avoid it. Even having to stand in front of others when they sing Happy Birthday at work is something I'd always try to avoid, and I always feel uncomfortable when receiving praise or being acknowledged.

At the end of last year there were a number of occasions where people ever so kindly acknowledged me for my teaching career, but I never feel comfortable being a part of this. I'm more than happy to contribute if it is for someone else, but when it's me, I'd rather not worry about it. 

Please do not think for a second though that I am not grateful for these acknowledgements, far from it. I just find it difficult being the focus. So, after the number of occasions where this happened late last year I now feel that I have recovered from the anxiety that it brought to me, but I am still affirmed by what so many people shared with me and about me. 

Like me, you have probably had a major disagreement with someone. A work colleague. A parent. A sibling. A partner.

Often the closer that person is to us, the more severe and intense the disagreement. 

But how good does it feel when the apology is offered or given, or the situation is resolved, or the both of you just suck it up and get back on as you always have. 

I just loved that feeling of making up, admitting one's fault and just reigniting what was most likely a great relationship. 

I recall if Jen and I had a blue, often neither of us would admit fault and just sulk around the place for a day or so hoping that the other would fess up first and apologise. When this didn't happen it would often be resolved just by us embracing in a warm hug, a kiss and just saying 'Sorry' without needing to go back into what caused the blue in the first place. Most likely something so minor and pathetic but both of us were too stubborn to give ground. Usually me!!!

That warm fuzzy feeling of making up was always so good, and we were so lucky that the longer we were married, the less it happened. I honestly can't remember our last disagreement because we always made up so quickly. We'd obviously worked out a way to recover quickly from these little setbacks.

You might recall from my last post that I mentioned how we encounter different triggers from time to time that make us recall things that we may not have thought about for years. Well, that's how it is for me.

Sometimes though, these triggers make me recall things that have happened in my life that I wish never happened, and in a way they feel unresolved and just festering in the background, meaning I haven't fully recovered from them.

For instance, when I was at Boarding School many of us turned on a particular student for no particular reason and made his life a misery. Actually, there was no reason for this at all. Bullying is constantly in the news at the moment, and what we did to this person was bullying to the extreme. 

A few years ago we had a reunion and we knew this person was coming too. How brave.

A couple of us spoke about how bad we were to him, and how gutsy it was for him to still come. Clearly we were feeling the guilt of our own appalling behaviour in our late teens and were nervous as to how he would receive us. To his utter credit he walked in and greeted everyone so warmly, and received the same back. For many of us our guilt was very evident and who knows what damage we did to this poor person and what he carried with him in the years after leaving school. We were so fortunate to be able to discuss this among ourselves, something that males in particular are continually being encouraged to do and it has brought us all even closer as we get older. Many of us mentioned that we had been carrying guilt over our treatment towards him for many years, so perhaps this greater opportunity to speak openly with each other was a type of recovery for us. And to his credit, he is still maintaining contact with us all since then, something that he just didn't have to do after what we put him through. I hope he recovered from what we did to him.

Respect to him.

This next type of recovery is still very pertinent to me right now as it is also related to my latest hospital experience, but has nothing to do with my ankle and knee that are giving me so much grief at the moment.

I'm recovering from the absolute kindness that I was the recipient of during my hospital stay. From the moment that I walked into the reception on an extremely cold morning, the young man on the desk was just so welcoming in the way that he acknowledged me as I presented myself to him.

In so many shops and businesses our interactions can tend to be very robotic, to the point where one wonders if they should even bother trying to interact with the other person. Often when I encounter these people I just try even harder to get a response from them, or a smile. No harm in trying, but when I leave they are probably thinking "What was it with that creepy old guy?"

No sooner was I greeted so warmly by the reception guy, two lovely older ladies who were volunteers at the hospital came over and introduced themselves and asked if I needed any help, or could they carry my bag and crutches. I kindly declined, as they looked like they needed the crutches more than I did, and chatted with them as they took me up to where I would be admitted. They were lovely!!!

I kid you not Readers, it just kept getting better!!!

My next interaction was with a male nurse who did my admission form, asking all the questions etc. Pretty soon we were talking about other things and I found out that he was a runner who had just completed the Great Ocean Road Marathon over the weekend, a run that I would have loved to do if only I could still run. The next ten minutes was full of exuberant marathon stories and experiences, I was in heaven!! Any nervousness I was having about the upcoming operation was evaporating by the minute.

This nurse couldn't have done any more for me than what he did on Tuesday morning, and it just wasn't WHAT he did, but the manner in which he did it. Just so warm and friendly, jovial and ever so cheerful. Who knows, he may have been feeling crappy inside about something else, but he was doing everything possible to make my day better. And it becomes infectious.

Into the gown and onto the bed in the waiting room. Another nurse comes in and collects details, and yet even more of the unbelievable kindness and friendliness that has been displayed by everyone I'd dealt with already.

Then the anaesthetist comes in, a man who I knew well as I taught two of his sons many years ago at a different school in Bendigo. Lots of laughs as he recalled all the stupid things I'd done with his boys and how I made one of them become a Richmond supporter!! He had told lots of the other nurses this story and when they spoke with me they'd always mention it. But not only did we share lots of laughs, he was also so sincere in the way he acknowledged the things that have happened in recent years in my own life. This person sure knows how to treat people.

Into theatre and yes Readers, the love was everywhere again!!

Lots of banter and chatter from the staff who did everything to put me at ease.

And then that beautiful moment as the medicine starts to kick in, I just love that drifting away into sleep. I always see if I can fight it, no luck yet. How good would it be if we went to sleep like that every night...I'd never get out of bed!!

The next day and a bit was spent in bed with a leg that didn't belong to me, and the three different nurses who cared for me could not be held in higher esteem. The care they gave was exceptional and we all had so many laughs. Nothing was ever too much trouble and I was so touched when one of them came back when I was leaving just to wish me all the best.

So what has this to do with recovery?

I'm actually recovering from the explosion of kindness that I was subjected to from absolutely everyone who I encountered at St John of God Hospital here in Bendigo. There were others too. The Pharmacist, the Physio, the OT. Even the cleaners and the catering staff were the same. 

And how could I not forget to mention the utterly fantastic nurse (name withheld) who was as exuberant, bubbly and cheerful as the scrubs she was wearing yesterday and today. She was a ray of light when I was feeling the worst last night. Thank you 🙏

I had a visit from a friend who is part of the Leadership at the hospital and made it known to him how impressed I was with everyone and I could see that he was chuffed as they work on it.

There was no way that I could even consider complaining about something such was the way they treated me. Sure, the brekky order was missing stuff and another order was mixed up, but there was no way I was going to make a fuss as they happily sorted it out when I mentioned it.

My physical recovery has been enhanced by the way I was treated, and I'm still recovering from how blown away I've been by this experience.

What a great thing to have to recover from!!!

So what do I take from this experience?

Try to be like them. The way that they treated me left such a lasting impression, so why shouldn't I try and make others feel the same when they deal with me. If I can make someone feel the way that these people made me feel then I'd call that a great day.

Many of the things I'm recovering from are governed by time and space, such as the timelines I've been given for my ankle and knee.

But there are others where the recovery has been slow and painful, and the loss of Jen is foremost here. Some days I feel that I'm making good progress, others I feel totally lost. I was speaking to the nurse in the bright scrubs about this and I said that I was probably coping better when I was working as my mind was preoccupied with lots of other things. But now I have more time to think about other things, and more time on my hands, I'm finding that I'm struggling with her loss more now than previously, because this is the time when we were meant to be doing all these things together. 

It's just another approach to recovery that I'll work out as things bubble along I guess.

So Readers,

Recovery has so many different shapes and forms. I had a wild thought just now that I should go and do some totally random things tomorrow, until my brain clicked in and reminded me that I'm going nowhere for some time!!!

One thing I've noticed though is that recovery involves commitment and dedication towards the outcome that you want. I've always been pretty good at doing that with my injuries, I just need to work on the headspace a bit more. Just knowing that you need to do this is a step forward I feel, next is identifying what it actually looks like.

In finishing, have you ever considered what you could be or might be recovering from? Were you aware of it, or only realised it after responding to a trigger or seeing it in someone else? More importantly , do you need help with it?

I'm blessed with so many people to chat through things with. Years ago I would never have raised certain things, but events of recent years have meant that I no longer worry what people think about what I say or write about, as long as it is appropriate of course!!

Good luck in whatever you may be recovering from!

Until my next post,

Cheers 😁